What would you do?

[johndisk0]

If I was a jerk songwriter/performer, I would make a clearly sung lyric out of "HEY SIRI, DIAL 9-1-1"

What would you do if you were a jerk of a songwriter?

-jd0

[jb]

HEY SIRI, FORMAT C

[Jerkatorium]

Dog whistle full blast.

But Jerkatorium loves dogs and wouldn't do that sort of thing even though his name is Jerk.

[josh]

Brown note!

[Manhattan Glutton]

I'd stop writing music.

[Tyler Zahnke]

Make an album inspired by some low-budget movie that very few people watched, like Debbie Does Dallas.

[user]

I'd keep writing music.

[Spud]

Dog whistle full blast.

But Jerkatorium loves dogs and wouldn't do that sort of thing even though his name is Jerk.

Actually, we did that. Forget which song.

[fluffy]

Make an album inspired by some low-budget movie that very few people watched, like Debbie Does Dallas.

You have a strange notion of "very few people," considering that's probably the most well-known pornographic movie of all time, at least in the United States.

If I wanted to be a jerk I'd probably make one track sound like a corrupted mp3, or a buffering/streaming error, or whatever.

Or I'd put in a bunch of lyrics about how stupid the listener is, in a language that the listener doesn't understand (but which a sizable number of any given population would). For bonus points, I'd go out of my way to make it sound like it's just nonsense words in English.

[RangerDenni]

When I want to be less pleasant I often change personas, write through characters, or use other means of obfuscation.

Sometimes I fear, in my case, jerky could be misinterpreted as Bitchy. It's just one of the things I keep in mind when thinking "eeeeeeemmmm....better not...."

[Billy's Little Trip]

If I literally wanted to be a jerk songwriter, I'd take allspice, Scotch bonnet peppers, cloves, cinnamon, scallions, nutmeg, thyme, garlic, and salt, then rub it all over myself. I'd be delicious.

[jb]

I'd stop writing music.

He said "jerk", not "philanthropist".

[fluffy]

Dog whistle full blast.

But Jerkatorium loves dogs and wouldn't do that sort of thing even though his name is Jerk.

Actually, we did that. Forget which song.

Did the signal make it through mp3 encoding intact? Heck, did it even make it to your recording interface intact? Most dog whistles are in the 23+KHz range, which is higher than the maximum frequency that you can even store in a 44KHz signal (which is limited to 22KHz), and that's not even considering that most microphones aren't particularly sensitive above 15KHz or so.

Then, reproducing the tones is difficult without some very specific technology that even audiophiles don't bother with (well, they THINK their gear can handle it, but it can't).

So, kind of hard to actually execute on that jerkiness.

Still a fun idea though.

[Jerkatorium]

Dog whistle full blast.

But Jerkatorium loves dogs and wouldn't do that sort of thing even though his name is Jerk.

Actually, we did that. Forget which song.

Did the signal make it through mp3 encoding intact? Heck, did it even make it to your recording interface intact? Most dog whistles are in the 23+KHz range, which is higher than the maximum frequency that you can even store in a 44KHz signal (which is limited to 22KHz), and that's not even considering that most microphones aren't particularly sensitive above 15KHz or so.

Then, reproducing the tones is difficult without some very specific technology that even audiophiles don't bother with (well, they THINK their gear can handle it, but it can't).

So, kind of hard to actually execute on that jerkiness.

Still a fun idea though.

Really though, the proof is in the pudding: Spud, does your dog yowl in pain when you play it a recording of that song?

You know: I mean does it seem like it's in any more pain than when it hears any other Octothorpe song?

[fluffy]

Shila's deaf and Mr. Smeed just humps everything all the time so I don't think either of his dogs are useful as a test.

[Spud]

OK, so it wasn't a dog whistle. It was my old drum major's whistle. I thought it was on Funny Enough For You. There is a whistle on there, several in fact, but not the loud blast I was thinking of.