Are you still alive? (pre-fight)

[Spud]

We Keep Them Alive
Due: Friday, 02/20/09 9:59am pst
mp3 with artist name sent to fightmaster@songfight.org

subject: We Keep Them Alive
contents: Your Band Name
attachment: yourbandname_wkta.mp3

[Henrietta]

Neato, five years ago Romantic Cheapskate was my first SF entry. Am I officially old skool now, or just old?

[Billy's Little Trip]

Congrats Henri! Old school or old, you write and play great music.

[JonPorobil]

Really good title. I'll try to do something. My FAWM is almost finished, though I still might cut a song, which would put me back down at 13 + "We Keep Them Alive" = 14 again.

Yeah, I know 14 is a minimum, not a maximum, but the title of my album has the number 14 in it, so yeah.

[Henrietta]

Thanks! You ain't too shabby yourself.

[Chadderandom]

I have the first verse and chorus written of a song based on the show In Plain Sight and I have an idea for the music based on the idea that I'm eventually going to buy some extra light strings (if I ever actually get around to it) and I can't imagine the idea changing once I get them, because I can't see extra light strings sounding appealing to me in any kind of atonal tuning and the lyrics aren't really fitting an atonal setting anyway I don't think but thats more of a you don't really know until they're in your hands and ears situation because the oddest things just feel right in the moment.

So, I can't really promise anything but this could totally turn out to be a normal song.

[Henrietta]

(edited offer) Unless you meant for an acoustic?

[jeff robertson]

Oh god do I want to be in for this. This title rocks.

[Chadderandom]

Unless you meant for an acoustic?

Yeah, I meant acoustic, although my electric needs new strings too but (presumably free) gift strings would cause me to feel guilty and angsty about how I might be using them, if I were to be using them in any sort of unorthodox manner.

[Henrietta]

Just thought I'd offer. I went to GC to buy one set of mediums, but was seduced by the "Buy 6 sets of these other strings you won't enjoy nearly as much, and get a free pint glass!" sign. Remember kids, just say no.

[PiGPEN]

Would it be wrong to link to my song here and ask for suggestions?
Doesn't seem in the spirit of "fight".

Spoiler: http://googumproduce.com/audio/wkta.mp3

[Billy's Little Trip]

Would it be wrong to link to my song here and ask for suggestions?
Doesn't seem in the spirit of "fight".

Spoiler: http://googumproduce.com/audio/wkta.mp3

Well, you're going to get very different suggestions because this site is very diverse.
I know this should probably be in the help section, but the FM can move it if it's a prob.
Anyway, here's my suggestions:
1. I like the beat, bass line, melody and vocals just fine.
2. I don't care for the other keys as the upfront sound. Maybe for a bridge, but I have never liked the Mario Brothers sounding synths/keys in music unless it's a video game and even then I don't like it, lol. But don't hate me, it's just my take.
3. It would sound good with some crunchy punk guitars instead of the synth/keys.
4. A fancy bridge would be nice. Use your synth/keys here. A bridge is always best when it is different from the rest of the song.
5. Some variation in the drums would be a plus.

But it has a catchy sunshine feel to it.

[BabylonHoruv]

ok, I am totally entering this one.

[EmbersOfAutumn]

Got an idea--gonna crossover with my FAWM. If I get this done in time, it will be my first '3-song-in-a-row' ever... which is sad, cause I've been doing songfight for over a year and a half now...

(EDIT: Damn, I was wrong... I did four in a row when I first started... I thought I had missed one between somewhere....)

[ujnhunter]

Would it be wrong to link to my song here and ask for suggestions?

More duck noises!

[adam b]

writing my own lyrics, have a MASSIVE song in my head... only problem is I had the same thing for Love Me, but never ended up submitting.. and the guitar for that one was pretty sweet.

after this week's (lack of) effort, i'm hoping to put in a worthwhile submission.

Pigpen - your song is almost there, as was said earlier, the bass and drums are good. the beat has enough variation to keep it interesting without interfering with the rest of the mix.
two things to improve: vocals and lead synth thingy
your vocals are fine, and already a bit punchy. the lyrics are pretty good, but.. you need conviction.
i know that when I sing, there has to be no-one home for me to not hold back. You seem to be calm when you're singing but I think there could be a lot more conviction, show us that you believe in what you're singing - that would make your song shine.
The lead instrument. If it's a patch on a computer sequencer (garageband, whatever...) play it through your speakers and record that, then mix it to taste with the computer output. That way it will feel a little less dead. If it's an actual synth, if possible try recording it through a slightly distorting amp, or use a sawtooth setting to give it more bite. It mixes well while you're singing, but needs much more presence when unaccompanied.
If you're going to replace it with a guitar, I'm completely against using an angry punk tone unless you want to completely change the style of song. Strokes-style distortion could work, as would Santana's liquid overdrive. A clean setting would work nicely as well because of the attack, but you might want to use some compression for sustain.

All in all, a pleasant song with a bit of punch, but I think you should bring it up to its full potential. You've got a week

[PiGPEN]

http://googumproduce.com/audio/wktav2.mp3

Took up Billy's advice on a bridge. And completely disregarded the crunch guitars because i dont have a guitar nor the upper body strength for crunches. Split up the lead and changed it into a pizzicato and synth.
By the way, the original instrument was Reason's acoustic guitar....must be unbelievably bad given no one i played the song for even knew what it was trying to sound like.

your vocals are fine, and already a bit punchy. the lyrics are pretty good, but.. you need conviction.
i know that when I sing, there has to be no-one home for me to not hold back. You seem to be calm when you're singing but I think there could be a lot more conviction, show us that you believe in what you're singing - that would make your song shine.

There's really only so much conviction one can put into a song about the Aztec's New Fire Ceremony.

[Billy's Little Trip]

http://googumproduce.com/audio/wktav2.mp3

Took up Billy's advice on a bridge. And completely disregarded the crunch guitars because i dont have a guitar nor the upper body strength for crunches. Split up the lead and changed it into a pizzicato and synth.
By the way, the original instrument was Reason's acoustic guitar....must be unbelievably bad given no one i played the song for even knew what it was trying to sound like.

your vocals are fine, and already a bit punchy. the lyrics are pretty good, but.. you need conviction.
i know that when I sing, there has to be no-one home for me to not hold back. You seem to be calm when you're singing but I think there could be a lot more conviction, show us that you believe in what you're singing - that would make your song shine.

There's really only so much conviction one can put into a song about the Aztec's New Fire Ceremony.

Yeah, much better.
Ok, new thoughts on the new mix:
1. Say "once every century" more. Like at the end of the song it should be said 3 more times to the end of the song. It will fill the open space up better. It can even be backed up with a different voice or different pitch/key. Or played around with echo FX, etc.

2. The bridge is perfect.

3. But I'd still like to hear something else, like guitar, even if you don't have one, find a patch or get a collab. If not guitar, a fuzzy distorted bass, or horns or a percussion instrument.
I'm not saying to eliminate the Mario brothers/Vegas slot machine synth, just minimize it. Again, that's only because "I" get annoyed by that sound. You may absolutely love that kind of sound, which means my opinion is useless. I'd much rather see you make your song your way and be proud of it.

All in all, it's a good song.

edit: It just came to me. Melodica! It needs a melodica track.

[Dust]

Hey folks, long time no see! I've started something to enter into this one.

- dust

[inevitableguy]

I'm about halfway through recording, so it looks like I'll be in for this one - my first ever back-to-back fights. Yay!

[signboy]

By the way, the original instrument was Reason's acoustic guitar....must be unbelievably bad given no one i played the song for even knew what it was trying to sound like.

You have Reason and you're using sounds like this? The guitar patches almost always suck, unless you're trying for a harpsichord imitation. Just opinion here, but try it with the NNXT's "hoover" or "MSPV combi lead" patches. Those might be a bit much if you didn't like BLT's suggestions. Some farfisa organ might work well too. Unless you're absolutely in love with the Mario Bros. sound, in which case you'll just have to understand that it puts a very distinct dividing line between people who like it and people who don't.

[JonPorobil]

I just turned a rough cut to my collaborator. Here we go.