The Jig Is Up (LongFight, SongWar)

[Jim of Seattle]

At long last, it looks like there are no more entries, so here are the SongWar submissions. If I left someone out, let me know, but it's not like there were a lot to have to keep track of...

LMNOP
Loyalty Day
The Voice Inside Penny's Caravan

[Eric Y.]

the hype surrounding this is just overwhelming!

jim, how long does the poll go on? i won't be back home (and hence able to listen to songs -- excepting this week's fights which i've burned onto a cd) until about friday. but i'll be listening and reviewing them then. (which i assume everyone else is busily doing, explaining the lack of chattiness in this thread).

[jimtyrrell]

Reviews:

LMNOP: Oh, dig those horns. This is just what I was in the mood for. This is well-written and sounds beautiful. And oh my god that ENDING. This could be the best song I've heard on SF yet this year. This will be tough to beat.

Loyalty Day: Not sure if I spoke too soon. Again, outstanding sound. The extra time for this fight really seems to have resulted in some amazing recordings. I hear that chord at 1:11 and I fall in love. This song is completely convincing. I don't believe it, this gives the LMNOP song a serious fight.

The Voice Inside Penny's Caravan: The extra time allowed shows here as well. Maybe the voices could be louder, maybe it's just my speakers. A minor quibble, though; this sounds great. This one's cute, a good story. Not sure if it'll stack up to the first two, but definitely worth spinning a few times to find out.

Holy God, what a fight! This is ALL A-material. Congratulations to all three, this is great work. I'm going through again to decide on a vote, and I'm starting now. Can't wait to hear 'em again.

EDIT: In the end, it was LMNOP that got my vote. That ending was the clincher. Awesome.

[LMNOP]

My $0.02:

<b>Generally</b> - Everything here sounds really “finished” so in that regard, Jim, I think your experiment was a success, despite the low turnout. As for me, a lot of things have to go right to be able to participate in a week-long fight so it’s fun to be able to put something out there again.

<b>LMNOP</b> - This is me. In the spirit of the War, I called in the cavalry in the shape of my buddy Dave who did the sax work – tenor in the horn section and alto on the lead. Also, a tip o’ the hat to my guy-I-don’t-know-from-Adam Sober for the Texas town pronunciation consultation.

<b>Loyalty Day</b> - In a word: polished. The vocal is beautiful, the guitar work superb. This sounds especially good through headphones with the lights out and I’ll repeat that experience as soon as I get this posted. The changes are interesting without being bizarre and, along with the melody, create a wonderful melancholic mood.

<b>TVIPC</b> - In a word: chorus. I love it. Clever lyrics, effective vocal arrangement. It’s one of those hypnotic grooves that makes me hit the play button again as soon as the song ends. The non-chorus stuff is fine too – it fits and all, but to my ear, it mostly serves to bring me back to that chorus which, if I haven’t mentioned, I really like.

[Caravan Ray]

Disappointing turn-out numerically - but quality-wise, I think this experiment worked admirably.

Hats-off to Jim of Seattle - this was a good idea and one well worth attempting again

LMNOP: Very slick, very professional. The horns and piano really take this into a class of it's own. Like the 'bang, bang' chorus - that works well. Excellent vocals. Not much else to say really - first-class effort that has little room for improvement as far as I can tell.

Loyalty Day: Excellent vocals - and a really nice little melody on that last line of the verse. Reminds me of The Sundays. Once again, a first class effort. I think I would like to hear a little more variation in the arrangement - break it down in a few places - cut the drums and just have guitar or bass maybe. The only other quibble is that the "Jig is Up" line seems out of place. I'm sure 'Jig is Up' inspired the song - but now the song is written - I'd go back and re-write that line!

The Voice Inside Penny's Caravan: This is me, my wife and TVIYH on keyboard. I found this title pretty difficult to work with (I'm guessing a lot of others did too - hence the low turn-out). I thought the 'gettin' jiggy' angle would come out sounding pretty silly - though surprisingly I think I might have gotten away with it (just)! Had no direction with this - till TVIYH's keyboard stuff dragged it in a slightly euro-disco direction. Took a long time to get Penny involved - hopefully she'll help out again in future - perhaps without the fake German accent next time.


I'd love to see this as an onging thing - if JoS doesn't want to organise another Songwar - perhaps it could be a 'winner pick the title and set the date' set-up for the next one - and so on and so on...

[HeuristicsInc]

it could be a 'winner pick the title and set the date' set-up for the next one - and so on and so on...

that's a cool idea, but if they pick the title then they can't compete.
the winner has somebody else pick a title?
-bill

[Eric Y.]

well i believe during "meanwhile" the winner who picked a title was eligible for competing. and sidefights are far less structured -- if you are in charge, who's to say you can't join in even if you do pick the title?

(with only three songs entered in this two-month fight, i don't think it would be very practical to exclude anybody!)

[j$]

TVIPC - This is the sound of Electroclash 2003, which is great. Abit Chicks on Speed, a bit Adult. Could do with a little more nasty background instrumentation in the background. Otherwise perfect. I would love to remix this. Very much love to remix this, actually.

Loyalty Day - Very pretty. A little slow for my personal tastes, but it's incredibly well done. That's a fine set of pipes you've got on you, lady! Nice organ patch swells too. Maybe a little bassy mix-wise? I dunno. Good job.

LMNOP - Finger clicks and trumpets. Aaah! What a great opening. meanders close but not into pastiche of that smoky jazz-club music you see in 'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid' style movies. Vey well done, I like it. Nice solid tracl - liking the saxophone solo, which is not something you'll see me write out of choice very often Nothing revolutionary, but key change gets extra points. I don't like the gunshot thing at the end - that's a bit too self-dismissive. Yeah, funky.

The Inter-continental Ballistic Caravan gets my vote, but only because I love Adult. so much. Can I remix this now, please?

j$

[Caravan Ray]

Can I remix this now, please?

j$

You most certainly can.

Does this mean you want some files of the seperate bits?

I tend to delete everything after I've finished a song - but I know with that one I had a few seperate versions lying around - so I probably still have some raw files somewhere - I'll have a look and send them to you

[Dan-O from Five-O]

LMNOP: Well aside from the busy sax guy, the slightly off tempo backing vocal part (I suspect the sax guy) and the complete lack of a competent guitar part, I’d say you got a pretty decent song on your hands. All kidding aside, I like everything about this song. I like the style, the horn parts (including the sax), the piano part (which I would like to be a little more prevalent), the bass part, and the topic. I mean, who writes songs about Bonnie and Clyde anymore? Hell, you even did your research. Who knew Bonnie came from Cement City? Well I guess you did anyway. The part I really like is how you know “The Jig is Up” for these two (if you know history anyhow) from the beginning of the song, and yet you never even mention the title. Very clever. This is a very solidly put together song Paul, nice work. Of course what do I know? I mean just look at me, I look like a geek for crying out loud!

Loyalty Day: I immediately love the vocals, and the guitar part has just the right amount of accents going on. That may be one of the things I find hardest to pull off, laying back and being confident that the part is fine as is. The lyrics are well structured and again, very well sung. The organ part (or whatever that is) way in the back of the mix is a nice accent even though it cries to be just a little more out front. The one gripe I have is that I just don’t see how the title applies here, not from what I know of the expression anyway. “The Jig is Up” just doesn’t really apply to the end of a relationship IMHO. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful song but I get the sense that the title is just a little too wedged in there. Overall, I really like this song, I just wish I made the connection of the title better. If I’m missing something, please let me know.

TVIPC: Let me get three points out of the way right from the start. 1) I don’t really like this style of music. 2) I don’t really like the expression “Jiggy”, and I had hoped it would only be used in one song in my lifetime. 3) The style of the main vocal is best left to avant-garde artists like Yoko Oh-No. (I spelled her surname correctly, believe me) However the lyrics do have a sort of nonsensical quality about them. “So take a hike get on your bike and ride” followed immediately by “See you later”. I’m going to be a real jerk here but that’s my nature. First, most people don’t hike on the bike they are taking for a ride. Second, why do you want to see them later? So you can catch them “getting jiggy with somebody else” again? I’m assuming this was a group effort and I probably have just pissed at least 3 collaborators off, so I’ll try to close with something positive. Silly lyrics, genre, and odd vocals aside I can tell some effort went into this, and the production is pretty solid. The panning of the vocals and the instrumentation are a nice effect. It’s too bad those are the only redeeming qualities I found here. Oh, and these are only my opinions, perhaps others will appreciate the song more than I.

My vote goes to LMNOP.

[Caravan Ray]

TVIPC: “So take a hike get on your bike and ride” followed immediately by “See you later”....First, most people don’t hike on the bike they are taking for a ride. Second, why do you want to see them later?

Thanks for the review. Just a brief note on lyrical content - maybe it's Australian vernacular - I didn't realise - but the lyric made perfect sense to me (I'm certainly not saying it's a great lyric - but it makes sense!). "On ya bike!" means "go away", "take a hike" I think is an Americanism which is included only because it rhymes with "bike", is synonomous as far as I can tell with "on ya bike" - and "see you later" can mean either "see you later" or "I never want to see you again". I do agree with you though that the expression 'getting jiggy' is not good - and it show how badly I was clutching at straws to do something with this title

I'm curious though - is it just Dan-O, or did others find that bit 'nonsensical' - it wasn't meant to be - but if it is - so much the better!

[Eric Y.]

yeah, my interpretation of "see you later" was basically "good-bye".

further: j$, i can get you the original synth file, as well as my recording of the bassline (not sure if any of that actually made it into the final mix or not). if you want them.

[j$]

TVIYH & Caravan Ray - yes please - if you have the seperate files then please email them / a link to them to johnny_cashpoint at yahoo dot co dot uk. That would be cool!

j$

[LMNOP]

did others find that bit 'nonsensical'

I like your words just fine, Ray. My only (temporary) issue was that I thought you were singing "take your hike" when the phrase, in my neck of the woods, is "take a hike" but I dismissed that as an intercontinental issue. Beyond that, is jig/jiggy a bit ridiculous? Sure. Is hike/bike way too convenient? Yup. But it didn't matter to me because I took the whole thing as very tongue-in-cheek. "We're gonna act all serious about this funny song about a serious topic." For a point of reference, maybe Talking Heads' "Up All Night". I felt like the overall style, the hard panning, the fake accent, etc. all backed that up.

So, anyway, sorry if I didn't take it as intended, but it worked for me.

[Dan-O from Five-O]

One of my more persistent failings is taking things too literally. If I had taken the tongue in cheek approach instead of the literal approach I probably would have seen the humor the song contained. Thinking back on it now, and probably more after I listen to it again tonight, I can see how the song would appeal to me more just listening without trying to find a deepper meaning. The accent your wife did on her voice is more amusing to me now thinking she was doing it for that effect rather than to hide something about her voice. By all means, incourage her to partcipate again and tell her to discount anything I said that she might have found offensive.

I was probably being a little picky on the lyrical content, but I do stand by the jiggy comment. I just ain't down with 'dat. Me and my homey's would pop a cap in somebody's ass for saying jiggy.

See waht I mean? It just loses it's effect.

[Caravan Ray]

Thats cool - I'm really just curious about the phrase "see you later" - do other people use it to mean "I never want to see you again" - or is that an Australian idiom?

eg. I will always finish conversations with people I will probably never see again (shop assistants, taxi drivers, people asking directions etc.) and people I never want to see again (eg, drunks in the street, Mormons, parking policemen etc.) with "See you later, mate" - obviously having no intention of seeing them later. I was just wondering do other people use the phrase like that, or is that a uniquely Australian usage?

[Jim of Seattle]

I agree that these were of higher quality than the regular fights, though it's hard to really tell because of the low turnout. As for it eing an ongoing thing, I do think that's a good idea, and since the time limit is so long, I don't think the person who picks the title would be disqualified because it's not like they're going to be getting any huge advantage anyway, and this is only a side fight. I t reminds me of another idea I've had for a long time, called "rewrite fight", where people enter a regular fight, then take feedback in the reviews to do a rew-write over the next 2-3 weeks, and all the re-writes compete again. I think that would be really interesting.

[Dan-O from Five-O]

Thats cool - I'm really just curious about the phrase "see you later" - do other people use it to mean "I never want to see you again" - or is that an Australian idiom?

No it's not eclusive to the Southern Hemesphere, we use it that way here as well. I myself end many a convesation in both manners, with and without intent to see again. It's just for me that the way it came about in the song, it was like the intent was to in fact, see the adulterer later. Again, me being Mr. Literal. Listening again made your real intent clear.

[HeuristicsInc]

To me, "I never want to see you again" is way different from "I don't expect to see you again." I have certainly used it as #2 but never as #1.
-bill

[Caravan Ray]

Hey, does this mean I win? Or is it like election night and should I wait for the other parties to hold a press conference and concede defeat? Or should I wait until more than 8 people have voted until I claim victory?

This would be my first songfight related victory of any description. I could be the new Josh Woodward. I've got to start somewhere.

Ok, I know this was strictly speaking a collaboration - but I really only intend to share the credit around if I lose.

[Lunkhead]

LMNOP
The bass sounds kinda cheesy. The real horns sound great, though. The drums and piano are a bit cheesy sounding, too, unfortunately. Your singing sounds kinda like Deshead's. The mix is very clear. I like the horn arrangement a lot. The chorus is nice. I like the chorus vocal harmony. Good singing. I dig the sax solo. Is that a guitar in the left channel? It's a little hard to make out, it could probably be louder. Ooh, slick little brief key change at the end there, then the gunshot ending, neat. Good job!

The Voice Inside Penny's Caravan
This is goofy and fun. The mix is fine. There may be a bit too much reverb on the centered vocals, and the panned apart vocals could maybe be centered more... The performances are all OK.

I'm going to be completely lame and vote for Loyalty Day, but if I weren't being such a loser I would vote for LMNOP.

[LMNOP]

Lunkhead, you got some good ears, man. I agree with everything you said except maybe the "cheesy piano". You mean the tone? If so, I might agree with that too -- I went with the keyboard that never leaves the studio instead of dragging the one I prefer up from the basement.

That is indeed a guitar just barely in the left channel. It doesn't add much but I put it in there to provide just a bit of balance to the piano under the sax solo. It's meant more to be felt than heard.

I simply don't have the means (space, mics, drums, talent) to record drums so the drum machine is sometimes a necessary evil. I try to keep it simple and not pretend I'm some great three-handed drummer. When I can, I use hand drums and miscellaneous percussion but I wasn't willing to give up the rim shot, fake as it is.

I wasn't terribly displeased with the keyboard bass but it still falls under the category of "fakery" in my book. So last weekend, I finally got a friend of mine who's a tremendous bassist to stop by with his fretless. I'll probably do a final mix today and be done with it. (Apparently, six weeks just isn't long enough for me...)

As for the voting, I guess I'm half-lame. It just doesn't seem sporting to vote for myself, and to avoid having to even think about it, I simply never ever vote. So I got one vote from Dan (a friend of mine, not a guaranteed vote by any means but we like a lot of the same stuff) and one anonymous vote. Sorta hoped for a better response from non-participants.

[EDIT: Just went to look at the voting and saw Jim T.'s edit. Make that no anonymous votes. And Jim, thanks for your remarks. I meant to PM you and tell you that you made my day. Several days, in fact.]

A couple of final thoughts, since this thread seems to be winding down:

The gunshot ending is <i>so</i> not my style. But if ever a super-abrupt ending is called for, a tune about the possible last thoughts of Clyde Barrow would seem to be the time. I'm glad a couple of folks liked it. I'll stop fretting and keep it.

This is the first time I ever stepped into the shoes of an historical figure to write a song. Worked really well IMO and I recommend it to others as something to try sometime.

Oh, almost forgot: Did you know that Clyde Barrow played the saxophone and that there was a sax in the car when he and Bonnie were killed? The sax solo was a must and represents my most obscure historical reference.