One of these days Alice!!! (Honeymoon in Polynesia Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
over
A New Player
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2004 8:20 am
Location: Cambridge England

Post by over »

Replies to the reviews:
NYJM wrote “perfect length”
Not the first time I’ve heard that my friend!
Caravan Ray wrote “I’m all for nonsense lyrics as a rule – but this just isn’t working for me.”
Well I drink like a badger and this alka-seltza isn’t working for me so I guess we’re even buddy.
Hoblit wrote “Ha, I screw around with everybody's names in my reviews...so it serves me right that it would come back to me eventually. NO HARM DONE.”
I’m glad, I can be a right little shit in the pursuit of humour whilst drunk, just having a bit of a chortle, yah?
Seoup Gei wrote “Wouldn't mind hearing some words instead of the boobachacha stuff.”
Well buddy, that’s what the archives are there for; I have about 15 songs in there. Some under David ‘Over and the rest with my band mate as The ‘Over. “Everybody now” and “Bullseye girl” seemed to be quite popular.
Hans Gruber wrote “What's the apostrophe for? Good Stuff. Big points for nice ditty, lo-fi worry-free glory.”

The reason there’s an apostrophe in the name is because my band The ‘Over used to be called Permanent Hangover but some German Christian rock band nabbed the moniker. Grrrr!! And yes, lo-fi is gloriously worry free. Written and recorded in less than a day.
Rabid Garfunkle wrote “Infectious.”
I love you.
User avatar
Geoff WreckdoM
Mean Street
Posts: 540
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:13 pm
Instruments: Theremin
Recording Method: Pabst Blue Ribbon
Location: Awestin, TX
Contact:

Post by Geoff WreckdoM »

Andre was Here at Midnight- I applaud you for your consistent ability to take elements that belong in a song that everybody in general should really like and refusing to let them come together in the way your listener desperately wants them to. Not sing-a-longs for sure. I hear in this one parts where the anti rhythm manages to make sense here and there, but never for very long, and although I enjoy a lot of your sounds, as usual, I just can’t get into it.

Bolio- An insane cheese pop nightmare. The music makes you think Bette Midler or somebody is gonna start belting out some dramatic heartfelt adult contemporary ballad but in this alternate reality it’s this odd monotone guy whose message is instead rather silly and sometimes naughty. Bizarrely unique in an ugly way, and unquestionably too long.

Caravan Ray- Your opening really sets a nice island feel. The vocals don’t follow suite, however, strikes me at first as an awkward addition. I imagine, for an island feel, a more consistent higher pitch. I agree with your choice to chorus the voice. Happy feeling inspired here, with sweet hearted lyrics and amusing-uh-Polynesian speak? I found that to be especially amusing.

David ‘Over- Neat follow up to Caravan Ray’s tune. What I enjoy most here is the guitar work, I wished you’d had more of that lead guitar plucking that’s featured in the opening. Love the whistling. Really there isn't a damn thing wrong with this entry, I find it to be a cute and easygoing listen as I imagine you intended. I like it a lot, but nothing really grabs at me about it, and that’s why I’m not voting for it.

Dead Rutherford- I dug last week’s noise piece (are you following me?) This one could use more of that recklessness to counterbalance its redundant structure. A fun piece with a cool creepy voice and a badass guitar solo. I like it, but more layers, changes, and some of that insanity I know you’re capable of and I would have loved it.

Hoblit- I like well-paced songs that become increasingly more complex, as this one does. Louder and thicker continually throughout it’s progression. When the vocals snap in it’s perfect, right time, right tone, and I dig the way the tripped out echo stuff let only a few choice words escape into clarity. Great atmosphere, I could see this as a good time summer theme.

Rabid Garfunkel- Jazzclub nerdcore? It works, but I think I’d prefer the phoned in effect on the vocals the whole way through. I really dig the piano, record scratching, and fake horns, I think they effectively achieve the cool vibe you’re going for, but the main vocals don’t really fit. I find them jarring when they should be subtle and cool.

Roymond- Opening is delicious in its strange creepiness. I really like the structure of the instrumentation, the additions at 2:02 especially. The crazy vocals that come in at 2:25 are like my favorite part of this entire fight. I was listening, thinking the vocals were too straight forward, earnest, and not odd enough for the song and then suddenly this crazy thing happens that makes my hairs stand up on end. Then it leaves, and I’m disappointed with what’s left.

Seoup T. Gei- Cool selection of instrumentation, instantly creates a dreamy feel and the heavily effected vocals fit right in. The songs focus starts to waver at 1:28, and it seems like a missed opportunity to go some place really crazy. Instead you repeat your previous ideas with very little added to draw the listener back. This makes that wavering seem awkward or unintended, and the songs second half redundant.

WreckdoM- The lyrics came to me pretty quickly after the announcement of the title, and the song in general reminds me of the moisteboyz, which is o.k., I like the moisteboyz a whole lot. My main objective was to poke comical fun at breakup bitterness without delving into misogyny and I think we did.
nyjm wrote: still chuckling after it's over; good fun
Thanks! Just wanted to say how awesome it is you review all four fights so often. That rocks! Thanks!
Caravan Ray wrote: Wow – you guys are really selling out.
Ugh, you know how many times I’ve heard that now? First it’s all “you should change to fit in and be taken seriously” now it’s all “ya’ll sold out, suckers!” You people make me sick!
Caravan Ray wrote: I voted for Wreckdom
Er, I mean, I love you, you’re the greatest! :wink: Seriously, thanks for saying those nice things about the vocal delivery. Truthfully I was a little upset by what folks had to say about the “Oh Britney” vocals, which I was quite proud of. So it feels especially good to get some positive feedback in that department.
over wrote: Yeah!!! Love it, there arn't enough swear words (I believe they're called cuss words in the U.S.of A) on songfight. Great ending. Damn, I might just vote for this because it rocks a great fat one.
Kids call them cuss words but adults say “Swearing”. I’m glad we see eye to eye on the songfight swearing issue.
blue wrote:i think i have since liked one of your songs. maybe punk bartender.

no wait, it was that daj werkenhorse dude's big black ripoff.
You’re trying to offend me but really you HAVE liked one of our songs before, Motor Psycho, I remember it clearly, we were all quite flattered.
HansGruber wrote: Please don't stop.
I wouldn’t worry about that.
Rabid Garfunkel wrote: And now I *really* want a theremin, heh. Is that the Moog one?
Yes you do really want one. This is a Moog, being played through a slight echo and full blast big muff pi. If you do buy one don’t pay 359.00 for a new one, gently used “why the hell did I buy this thing?” models are available on Ebay for 100-150 bucks cheaper all the time. I recommend Moog but I also understand the less expensive PAIA kit is also highly regarded.
"perhaps the most offensive and disturbing image I've ever heard in a song" - Hans Gruber
Seoup Gei
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 11:04 am
Contact:

Post by Seoup Gei »

Geoff WreckdoM wrote:WreckdoM- The lyrics came to me pretty quickly after the announcement of the title...to poke comical fun at breakup bitterness without delving into misogyny...

Seoup T. Gei- Cool selection of instrumentation, instantly creates a dreamy feel and the heavily effected vocals fit right in. The songs focus starts to waver at 1:28, and it seems like a missed opportunity to go some place really crazy. Instead you repeat your previous ideas with very little added to draw the listener back. This makes that wavering seem awkward or unintended, and the songs second half redundant.
thanks for your words about your tune, and thanks for the review. Any other feedback about where I should go with it would be great but not expected. Only thing i gotta say is there's no effects on the vocals or any of the mix, just two layered vocals left and right and two low mixed harmonies. i think some reverb on the timbales, congas and that slapstick that was part of the sample or something. not much eq either. i am new with cubase and was happy to get some midi stuff in there as well as audio. peace!
User avatar
Bolio
Push Comes to Shove
Posts: 318
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:54 am
Instruments: Piano, Keyboards, Guitar, Saxophone, Triangle
Recording Method: "The Golden Age of Cakewalk"
Submitting as: Bolio
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Contact:

Post by Bolio »

AWHAM – Intro very harsh, the violins are so out of tune with the rest of the music. Weird timing is pretty cool until it slows down and never recovers.

Bolio – Did this at the last minute. Would have liked to put real guitar & stuff in it.

Caravan Ray – Nice feel. Cool eukelele chords. Good chorus. You've succeeded in putting me on an island, with a warm breeze & that sweet music. You went out of your way to get the style & you nailed it for sure.

David ‘Over – Cool progressions & decent melody. Love the production. But I’m not a fan of the ‘cha cha cha’s’… & they’re everywhere.

Dead Rutherford – Some of those ‘Polynesia’s need to be redone. Chorus needs vocal part over it, or else make it shorter (or more interesting.) Same with the bridge, putting me to sleep.

Hoblit – Intro’s cool, I like how you mixed your voice in with it immediately, wish it continued. As it is, a smidge too long. Something about the verse bugs me, the echos I think. Effect is cool, but too often the echo get’s in the way. Can’t hear the vox in the chorus, muddy & a little quiet. Song grows on me after awhile.

Rabid – Scratching a little loud imo, maybe turn it down after a couple measures.. & wish it wasn’t the focus so often (it’s a good jazz song. Like to hear the instruments explored in the breaks.) Love the attitude in the ensemble on this one, very cool piano, bass & horns.

Roymond – Love the 3 guitar parts in the intro & the way they carry on through the song. That sound going in & out of my right channel is a perfect touch to compliment the guitar. No letdown on the chorus, the way I like it with a slight style change. Odd yet excellent vocal break. Keeper. Love those guitar parts. This song get’s my vote.

Seoup T Gei – Some instrumental parts are cool. Use some interesting sounds (the watery sounds are really cool.) Vocal part seems like an afterthought on this one though.

WreckdoM – It's cool when you make real music. That synth part is great. Funny & wish there was another verse… or more. Bad mix adds to the charm, but that guitar gets buried. Keeper.

1. Roymond
2. Caravan Ray
3. Hoblit
I may not know karate, but I know KA-RAZY! -James Brown |Bolio on SoundCloud
HANK.
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 49
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:39 pm
Location: Your mom's house.

Post by HANK. »

Wreckdom makes poop.
Gaining mass like a lumberjack and knocking down trees.
User avatar
roymond
Beat It
Posts: 5188
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank, Moody Vermin
Pronouns: he/him
Location: brooklyn
Contact:

Post by roymond »

Some Honeymoon reviews. Been a busy week so I’ll try to finish by tomorrow.

<b>Bolio</b> - the ambient stuff provides intrigue. But the lyrics don’t stand up to your music, and the vocals sound more ”attempted” than inspired. Yeah, the lyrics really fall flat. Although the constant arpegios get old, the timbres are sweet. 5

<b>Caravan Ray</b> - love the percussion and the uke. Don’t like the I-IV-V, which seems really lazy. But your vocals and the delivery make it all OK. I get images of The Owl and The Pussycat, which is fun...good to have a sound track to a book I read to my kids so often. It’s a little sloppy, but I really like the “chiggy chiggy – hey!” break. 7

<b>David ‘over</b> - the arrangement works well. Not enough lyrically to hold me throughout, though. Whistled outros are always good. 5

<b>Dead Rutherford</b> - I like the hyper guitar and drums, but the vocals are so contrary in tone, they all don’t fit together. Seems the lyrics fit, though. A bit too repetitive. Lots of good ideas here that didn’t have enough time to gel. 6
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
User avatar
Caravan Ray
bono
bono
Posts: 8658
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:51 pm
Instruments: Penis
Recording Method: Garageband
Submitting as: Caravan Ray,G.O.R.T.E.C,Lyricburglar,The Thugs from the Scallop Industry
Location: Toowoomba, Queensland
Contact:

Post by Caravan Ray »

roymond wrote:
<b>Caravan Ray</b> - Don’t like the I-IV-V, which seems really lazy.
Fair call - but my fingers are too big and clumsy to do anything too fancy with a uke!
Hoblit
Hot for Teacher
Posts: 3670
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:48 pm
Pronouns: Dude or GURRRLLLL!
Location: Charlotte, NC ... A big city on its first day at the new job.
Contact:

Post by Hoblit »

reviews by tomorrow I hope.

1. was lazy
2. Now sick (again)
User avatar
roymond
Beat It
Posts: 5188
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank, Moody Vermin
Pronouns: he/him
Location: brooklyn
Contact:

Post by roymond »

The rest...

<b>Hoblit</b> - Epic from the start, I can't help hearing 'Blowin in the Wind' because it has that classic, memorable melodic simplicity. I find the vocal feedback too high, creating a mash of indecipherable wash, but then it does that great move into the refrain. Keep the wash during the transitions but dry it up otherwise and this is screming! <b>vote</b>

<b>Rabid Garfunkal</b> - Nice groove and great arrangement...those horns and piano especially cool. The scratching is a gammick - use it as such - remove 90% of it and it won't be so in the way. Just a suggestion.

<b>Seoup T Gei</b> - I love these vocals. Love them! Nice grundge backup too. The slurpy noises are fulfilling and nutritious. It's so great but too static for repeated listenings.

<b>Wreckdom</b> - Certainly my favorite of yours. Fun the first time. I, too, like that last "Arghhh!".

<b>Andre</b> - Very Robert Wyatt - just not great like him. But I do like the out-of-sync simulteneity. Too doodly otherwise.
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
HeuristicsInc
Beat It
Posts: 5318
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 6:14 pm
Instruments: Synths
Recording Method: Windows computer, Acid, Synths etc.
Submitting as: Heuristics Inc. (duh) + collabs
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Maryland USA
Contact:

Post by HeuristicsInc »

Caravan Ray wrote: Anyway, this was intended as a little wedding gift for Bill Heuristics and his bride – I hope they like the song, and I also hope that no embarrassment is caused by the implication contained therein, ie. that the proceedings of the aforementioned couples nuptial union involved some sort of ad-hoc, ritualistic performance of a Maori war dance.
Thanks, C Ray!
She hasn't heard it yet as she's off at her old place getting some things to bring here. I told her you wrote a song for us, though, and she said "Who's Caravan Ray?" To which I responded, "An Australian, he's cool."

I didn't listen to the words of any of these much, but I liked this one. However both Hoblit and Roymond blew me away.
I think I gotta vote for Roymond.
Soon!
-bill

PS I don't remember any Maori dances, but I will reveal no further details of said nuptial unions :)
152612141617123326211316121416172329292119162316331829382412351416132117152332252921
http://heuristicsinc.com
Liner Notes
SF Lyric Ideas
User avatar
roymond
Beat It
Posts: 5188
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank, Moody Vermin
Pronouns: he/him
Location: brooklyn
Contact:

Post by roymond »

Criminy! I thought Hobs had this one. At some point I finally thought I should check the results. Thanks again to Tonamel for his/her lungs!
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
Hoblit
Hot for Teacher
Posts: 3670
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:48 pm
Pronouns: Dude or GURRRLLLL!
Location: Charlotte, NC ... A big city on its first day at the new job.
Contact:

Post by Hoblit »

roymond wrote:Criminy! I thought Hobs had this one. At some point I finally thought I should check the results. Thanks again to Tonamel for his/her lungs!
Ha, never count on me winning one of these things.
Post Reply