Nur Ein XI Round Two "Teeth Marks"

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Re: Nur Ein XI- Round Two

Post by PepperJane » Thu May 05, 2016 1:05 pm

Ah, thank you lads for the clarification. Now that it doesn't matter I am clear on it! :-p ... I knew it was 12pm Monday in Western Australia, 2pm Mon at home in Queensland, then silly me for not working it out that way, and assuming .. blah blah..
Well, it's a little more polished than the first twenty recordings, but still *cough* raw and lo-fi. It's posted in the appropriate place for dunces, wicked children and other outcasts, alongside its text. Brew a cup, it's 4+ minutes.
(This msg got lost in Drafts for a few days)
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Re: Nur Ein XI- Round Two

Post by noma » Thu May 05, 2016 1:15 pm

Levittdown wrote:
Lyrically, this is very similar to the Offspring's "Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?", which has a good tune to go along with the moralizing lyric. Your song doesn't really have that. Voice sounds strained at times.
I don't know that song, and although I'm sometimes a fan of punk rock (The Replacments, best band EVER) I don't really like the Offspring but maybe I'll check it out from a curiosity standpoint.
It's one of those songs where they try to sound extra commercial, so you probably won't like it ;) Offspring, of course, don't play in the same ballpark as the Replacements and their like, but I have a soft spot for pop punk (nostalgia mainly) which, I believe, tends to show in my own songs.
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Re: Nur Ein XI- Round Two

Post by inevitableguy » Sat May 07, 2016 12:46 pm

A pretty strong week. I know things are going well when my notes about the song I ranked lowest say “Not great, but not bad.” I could have ranked any of the top 7 songs as the top song, this is just how they shook out in my current mental state (which has not been good the last few weeks).

From best to worst:

Grumpy Mike: It's 1991 all over again! Al Jourgensen would be proud. Powerful chorus. Fuck, this is good. Radio ready. I've got no criticisms of this song. I love the lyrics, but I'm probably biased because I hate Ted Cruz so damn much.

Micah Sommersmith: White boys rapping as a one-off goof smacks of cultural appropriation. I hate that you did it, I hate even more that I like it so much. It's just so damn clever and ruthlessly catchy.

RankCorps: I love that you make the lyric “Don't tell me where to pee” sound as important as it is. You've taken a current issue that is near to my heart, and turned into a solid song. The only criticism I have is that the vocal delivery seems to trip over itself a few times. Some more time for rehearsal would have put this over the top.

Cavedwellers: Clever interpetation of the challenge. I like the arrangement in the verses. Nice bridge...I really like the horns, my ear isn't good enough to pick out if they're real or not. The solo doesn't really move the song along – I know Glennny will disagree, but I think the song would be better without it.

Solo Frijoles: Are you a native Spanish speaker? It flows so well. The inclusion of Prince lyrics is a nice touch, but I'm not sure if this is a song about Prince, or a song you wanted to write that used Prince lyrics.

DJ Ranger Den: This is the Den I've been looking for all competition. It's totally weird, super clever, and your passion for music shines through.

Ken Mahru: This is a great song, but it's falling flat in its delivery. The vocals lack passion, the solo feels dry. You've got to sell it! Your approach to the challenge was pretty subtle, which is a risk, but I think it really paid off in this case.

BGM: The verses are pretty dry and repetitive. I like how airy the chorus feels. I know you've got better work in you, so let's see it.

DoToVa: The execution is sloppy, but it's a decent song at it's heart. I'm a little bored by the verses, but the chorus has a nice flow. I think it's your best work so far this competition. Projecting into the future does not equal current event in my mind, so I dinged you a bit for that.

Paco del Stinko: This is more serious than your usual fare, which I appreciate. The lyrics still feel heavy handed and clumsy, though, like you couldn't turn off the part of your brain that wants to be clever. Well produced, as always.

Strangely Brown: You're making a really strong run this year, but this is your weakest entry so far. I like the use of the more electronic sounds, but the arrangement is a little sparse for my tastes. The melody is strong enough to mostly carry it, however.

Berkeley Social Scene: This may be a result of your immunity, but it feels slapped together to me. It's middle of the road enough that I don't have much to say about it, bad or good.

Levittdown: There just isn't much going on here. Add some flourishes to the arrangement, or throw some variation into the vocal melody.

Inflatable Vegetables: “Not great, but not bad.” I'm not familiar with any event you might be referencing, so I'll have to take it on faith that it's a current event. This is just another song that doesn't move me enough for me to find much praise or criticism.
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