Nur Ein VI Round One "Colourblind"
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
fbf: if the line was only said once at the end of each verse, i would count it as a refrain (which, personally, i am only counting as half meeting the challenge), but your "refrain" repeated itself like a chorus and was the catchiest thing i've heard in a long time. plus, it had a large "kick-in" of instrumentation that is very chorusy, and not so refainy (which i would think would have the same feel as the rest of the verse). diagnosis: chorus.
byd: to me, 12 bar blues is the opposite of originality, and a pretty cheap way of getting around not having a chorus in your song.
djrd: where is the energy from last week?
byd: to me, 12 bar blues is the opposite of originality, and a pretty cheap way of getting around not having a chorus in your song.
djrd: where is the energy from last week?
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Rabid Garfunkel, making people violently ill since 1969.™Caravan Ray wrote:I have been suffering from some sinus induced hearing difficulties recently. But the nausea caused by these lines has resulted in a projectile vomiting of such magnitude that that all Eustachian tube difficulties have passed. Thank you
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
A&H==>To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white...
Billy's Little Trip==>The continetal divide of Round One.
Boffo Yux Dudes ==>and it's so hard/ babysittin' these guys
Bram Tant ==>Godzilla, Rick James, Andre the Giant, colourblind person?
DJ Ranger Den ==>The hot summer lawn is green…I think.
Embers of Autumn==>Yes, but is she editing colourblind?
Frankie Big Face ==>Alright, Long Beach Arena, you know it now, sing with me!
Glen Raphael ==> Bargain O'Riley!!!!
John Kloberdanz ==> My toddler dresses like this as well.
Jon Eric ==>You had me at cones.
Luke Henley ==>There are things that I'd like to say, but I'm never talking to you again.
Manhattan Glutton ==> Baby you can't fly my plane. Rock-rock rock-rock YEAH!
Merisan ==> Richard & Linda Thompson with flowers instead of issues.
Paco del Stinko ==>Hangin' tough love in the elevator.
Pop Machine ==> I'm going to get some more popcorn and use the can…need anything?
Rabid Garfunkel ==> Quirky! Remember how you recorded this when we drop the "no quantization" challenge.
Ross Durand ==> Emerson Lake & Cougar!
WreckdoM ==> Colours fade, not guitar solos.
WSA ==> It's growing on me, doctor.
Billy's Little Trip==>The continetal divide of Round One.
Boffo Yux Dudes ==>and it's so hard/ babysittin' these guys
Bram Tant ==>Godzilla, Rick James, Andre the Giant, colourblind person?
DJ Ranger Den ==>The hot summer lawn is green…I think.
Embers of Autumn==>Yes, but is she editing colourblind?
Frankie Big Face ==>Alright, Long Beach Arena, you know it now, sing with me!
Glen Raphael ==> Bargain O'Riley!!!!
John Kloberdanz ==> My toddler dresses like this as well.
Jon Eric ==>You had me at cones.
Luke Henley ==>There are things that I'd like to say, but I'm never talking to you again.
Manhattan Glutton ==> Baby you can't fly my plane. Rock-rock rock-rock YEAH!
Merisan ==> Richard & Linda Thompson with flowers instead of issues.
Paco del Stinko ==>Hangin' tough love in the elevator.
Pop Machine ==> I'm going to get some more popcorn and use the can…need anything?
Rabid Garfunkel ==> Quirky! Remember how you recorded this when we drop the "no quantization" challenge.
Ross Durand ==> Emerson Lake & Cougar!
WreckdoM ==> Colours fade, not guitar solos.
WSA ==> It's growing on me, doctor.
- EmbersOfAutumn
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Bravo.BenKrieger wrote:Embers of Autumn==>Yes, but is she editing colourblind?
"Out of all I've learned in Life,
You always keep your friends close to your heart,
cause they'll help you if you're falling down..."
- The Ataris - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start
You always keep your friends close to your heart,
cause they'll help you if you're falling down..."
- The Ataris - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Coming from you, this worries me.Caravan Ray wrote:BLT This is pretty good.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Some very quick and (mostly) one-line reviews. Yell if you want a bigger slice of Stink Pie.
Abbott and Hines - Nice instrumentation, but could use more bump and grind.
BLT - Be interested to see the viddy for this one...maybe! Good rocking fun with a gnarly bridge section.
Boffo Yux Dudes - I dunno, I kind of like the lyrics. They could be delivered more over the top.
Bram Trent - The main guitar riff is great, it sounds like it's played backwards somehow. Song feels incomplete, despite fact it's "missing" chorus sections.
DJ Ranger Den - Nice moody pondering, very personal and intimate.
Embers Of Autumn - While both music and vocals are passionately performed, they don't match up pitch-wise.
FBF - Forget the guitar: sweet easy melodies, good lyrics and real drums!
Glen Raphael - Minus the additional instruments, this sounds like it's being done at the local bar, sonically.
John Kloberdanz - I, too, love the Smiths and got this right away. This could be more fully developed but is a good base.
Jon Eric - So very you, this could be trimmed and tucked into a tighter little package of POW!
Luke Henley - This song drives without the band I can imagine cooking underneath. Nice lyrics that are over my shallow head.
Manhattan Glutton - Just the right amount of menace, the vibes are nice touch to the crunch.
Merisan - Your voices mix very well, Lunk's appropriately on the bottom. Sweet, gentle guitar, a pretty but not flowery song, almost wish it were a wee bit shorter, to make me want more. If that makes sense.
Paco del Stinko - Hoped the repetitve progression didn't get to be too much, but it was fun to play.
Pop Machine - I like the music here, but it's a bit stiff. Confused by the Brie business, but like that the song gets a little kooky.
Rabid Garfunkel - I like the first two lines and last line of melody in each verse. The third and fourth ones are a bit off, to me.
Ross Durand - Easy going and pleasant, some good lines, I like the synth solos!
Wreckdom - Don't listen to them. This is growth and progress from a talented bunch that can probably do whatever they want, from full on crazy to groovy cool. But what happened to the song? It's gone after 1:46!
WSA - I wasn't sure if the Mighty Melvin was here or not. Is that his greatness singing first? I agree that this song gets better after initial listen. Deeper than it first appears.
Abbott and Hines - Nice instrumentation, but could use more bump and grind.
BLT - Be interested to see the viddy for this one...maybe! Good rocking fun with a gnarly bridge section.
Boffo Yux Dudes - I dunno, I kind of like the lyrics. They could be delivered more over the top.
Bram Trent - The main guitar riff is great, it sounds like it's played backwards somehow. Song feels incomplete, despite fact it's "missing" chorus sections.
DJ Ranger Den - Nice moody pondering, very personal and intimate.
Embers Of Autumn - While both music and vocals are passionately performed, they don't match up pitch-wise.
FBF - Forget the guitar: sweet easy melodies, good lyrics and real drums!
Glen Raphael - Minus the additional instruments, this sounds like it's being done at the local bar, sonically.
John Kloberdanz - I, too, love the Smiths and got this right away. This could be more fully developed but is a good base.
Jon Eric - So very you, this could be trimmed and tucked into a tighter little package of POW!
Luke Henley - This song drives without the band I can imagine cooking underneath. Nice lyrics that are over my shallow head.
Manhattan Glutton - Just the right amount of menace, the vibes are nice touch to the crunch.
Merisan - Your voices mix very well, Lunk's appropriately on the bottom. Sweet, gentle guitar, a pretty but not flowery song, almost wish it were a wee bit shorter, to make me want more. If that makes sense.
Paco del Stinko - Hoped the repetitve progression didn't get to be too much, but it was fun to play.
Pop Machine - I like the music here, but it's a bit stiff. Confused by the Brie business, but like that the song gets a little kooky.
Rabid Garfunkel - I like the first two lines and last line of melody in each verse. The third and fourth ones are a bit off, to me.
Ross Durand - Easy going and pleasant, some good lines, I like the synth solos!
Wreckdom - Don't listen to them. This is growth and progress from a talented bunch that can probably do whatever they want, from full on crazy to groovy cool. But what happened to the song? It's gone after 1:46!
WSA - I wasn't sure if the Mighty Melvin was here or not. Is that his greatness singing first? I agree that this song gets better after initial listen. Deeper than it first appears.
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
I did the vid yesterdee, but it keeps effing up at the end of the render.Paco Del Stinko wrote:BLT - Be interested to see the viddy for this one...maybe! Good rocking fun with a gnarly bridge section.
the buzz: it has animal playing drums in it.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
I can go with the boring comment, but dammit, the whole thing is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek and I NEEDED A RHYME! (Is brie actually yellow, anyway? Kind of a light yellow, I believe.) Do NOT question my love for dairy products, sir, or there will be HECK to pay!!Caravan Ray wrote:
Pop Machine
WTF?!?!
Odour of the Camambert or the stink of Brie?!?!?!
Camambert and Brie are very mild cheeses with very little odour. I WILL NOT STAND FOR random and unjustified disparaging of dairy products in song form. Oh yeah - the song as boring as shit too.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
At least you're happy about SOMETHING.Caravan Ray wrote: Bram Tant The good thing about this is that the trite lyrical manure is only coming into one ear. That is the only good thing.
I suppose this is good?BenKrieger wrote: Bram Tant ==>Godzilla, Rick James, Andre the Giant, colourblind person?
1. "Tant", not "Trent".Paco Del Stinko wrote: Bram Trent - The main guitar riff is great, it sounds like it's played backwards somehow. Song feels incomplete, despite fact it's "missing" chorus sections.
2. It is "incomplete" because I worked from a drum sample that was only 1 minute and 35 seconds long. I'm planning on making a fleshed out version someday (with better lyrics).
3. I played two guitar parts which were almost alike but different in such a way that it sounds interesting. Also the bass line is a little different which adds another layer of sonic variation.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Paco Del Stinko wrote:
Pop Machine - I like the music here, but it's a bit stiff. Confused by the Brie business, but like that the song gets a little kooky.
Thanks for the comments, Senor Del Stinko. Appreciate getting words from the pack leader so far...I didn't come out as kooky as we hoped, so it looks like we need more de-stiffener for our next song attempt.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Hey WreckdoM! Is that Ranger Den guesting on your track? How very bold! It's not even the guest round yet!
I really appreciate that more people seem to be making an effort to post reviews; very cool. I'll have my own comments up this evening.
I really appreciate that more people seem to be making an effort to post reviews; very cool. I'll have my own comments up this evening.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Oops! Sorry.Dantes wrote:1. "Tant", not "Trent".
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
For my purposes this week, a chorus is a separate section that represents a distinct focus aside from the verse. A common line that completes a verse does not a chorus make. There may be questionable examples in this week's jukebox selections, but their scores on lyrics and performance would still keep them well out of the trash bin.
In other words, the lower six entries suck so bad that complete disregard for the challenge by any border line interpretations would have done them no good anyway.
a&h - This is very enjoyable, chorus free and lyrically charming.
blt - I can’t hear a chorus, but I want to hear more…harmony. Not the schmaltzy Yanni kind, but the good kind. I guess it’s ambitious for the time allotted and that’s too bad because this should really rock our undies.
boffo - I didn’t hear a chorus, so there’s that.
bram - Well, I didn’t like this much. And I don’t know where to begin.
dj ranger den - I am smitten with your droll Jane Siberry delivery. The piano accompaniment is beautifully complimentary and the harmonic meanderings lead perfectly along this lonely path. That Picardy third on the title turn is sweet, and nicely placed. I love this kind of stream of consciousness with purpose.
embers of autumn - Surprisingly convincing performance, largely carried by the piano, though your vocals, if they were in key would be sort of Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen. Not sure if that’s good, but those guys had commercial potential, so pay attention! You blew it at the end with that stadium anthem chorus. oops.
frankie - Beautiful mix, tonal space, pacing and vocal execution. Typically well crafted lyric with a bridge distinctly not a chorus to my ears. I’ll go out on a limb here, but a refrain that ends each verse is not a separate concept that stands on its own. This refrain completes the verse each time.
glenn rapheal - Solid licks and a groove that wants to hold together, but fits the style and lyrics. The drum track is suppressed for a reason, so you need to address that. Could really rock with a full trap set. The distortion in the second verse is unfortunate. Clever lyrics, well done, and well delivered.
john kloberdanz - The loops lose points but damn, well done. This is called using the tools to one's advantage. Wimpy fade ending though is unfortunate. Lyrics really not saying much. I wish you were able to hobble together even some enchanted random rant rather than whatever this is. The song doesn’t end because its mission is complete, it ends because it ran out of words.
jon eric - Your vocal performance often gets a boost from pulling off ambitious phrasing and prosody, both lacking their influence here. I keep wanting to say "get yourself some serious vocal lessons, dude, its holding you back" but usually wimp out. Well, there, I said it. Your songs deserve it. The piano has nice, beautiful harmonic progressions and form. Clever and very well conceived lyric, with a very catchy refrain...oh, no, not like that! …another phrase completing the verses.
luke handley - You blew it at the end with the chorus. But a brilliant story and really engaging lyric. I really liked that. The fact that you worked a welcome bridge in there for relief gains a couple points.
manhattan glutton - Good thing these aren’t in order because I wouldn’t want you to know I loved this. Crunchy snack bar for my ears. YUM!
merisan - Sweet melancholy that would bless a stay at the hospital to induce sleep and escape. Very well done.
paco - I was dreading a wimpy deconstructionist ending, but was joyfully rewarded with another verse or two. Awesome break and recovery. Amusing production and instrumental wizardry. Counter melodies in the rhythm section should have a national holiday all to themselves. The slide solo is perfect. Clever, silly, engaging and coherent lyric. I don’t need deeper meaning than a sequined bra reference. Effectively absent is a chorus that stands alone. The last line of each verse an enthusiastic completion of said verse.
pop machine - That bridge chorus thing kills this. Plus the bad Dylan reference. But that other bridge thing is very cool.
rabid garfunkle - I like the dynamics and instrumentation, but the production holds it back a good deal. Your voice, strong and hardy, is too forward. I love that lead keyboard. These lyric come off entirely superficial and shallow, void of substance, without clever tricks they don’t stand. "To go sans my best friend and partner in crime" only fits the title spelling in snudy euro snudiness. I once got criticized for using "swell" in a song, even though it made total sense in context.
ross - Lovely story backed by solid performance. Crayons always win points.
wreckdoM - Like others, I don’t know who you are anymore, this then throws off my own perception about myself and all that the world means to me. Concerned is too weak a term, yet unalarmed is too powerful.
WSA - Ummm…awesome? I’ll get back to you.
In other words, the lower six entries suck so bad that complete disregard for the challenge by any border line interpretations would have done them no good anyway.
a&h - This is very enjoyable, chorus free and lyrically charming.
blt - I can’t hear a chorus, but I want to hear more…harmony. Not the schmaltzy Yanni kind, but the good kind. I guess it’s ambitious for the time allotted and that’s too bad because this should really rock our undies.
boffo - I didn’t hear a chorus, so there’s that.
bram - Well, I didn’t like this much. And I don’t know where to begin.
dj ranger den - I am smitten with your droll Jane Siberry delivery. The piano accompaniment is beautifully complimentary and the harmonic meanderings lead perfectly along this lonely path. That Picardy third on the title turn is sweet, and nicely placed. I love this kind of stream of consciousness with purpose.
embers of autumn - Surprisingly convincing performance, largely carried by the piano, though your vocals, if they were in key would be sort of Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen. Not sure if that’s good, but those guys had commercial potential, so pay attention! You blew it at the end with that stadium anthem chorus. oops.
frankie - Beautiful mix, tonal space, pacing and vocal execution. Typically well crafted lyric with a bridge distinctly not a chorus to my ears. I’ll go out on a limb here, but a refrain that ends each verse is not a separate concept that stands on its own. This refrain completes the verse each time.
glenn rapheal - Solid licks and a groove that wants to hold together, but fits the style and lyrics. The drum track is suppressed for a reason, so you need to address that. Could really rock with a full trap set. The distortion in the second verse is unfortunate. Clever lyrics, well done, and well delivered.
john kloberdanz - The loops lose points but damn, well done. This is called using the tools to one's advantage. Wimpy fade ending though is unfortunate. Lyrics really not saying much. I wish you were able to hobble together even some enchanted random rant rather than whatever this is. The song doesn’t end because its mission is complete, it ends because it ran out of words.
jon eric - Your vocal performance often gets a boost from pulling off ambitious phrasing and prosody, both lacking their influence here. I keep wanting to say "get yourself some serious vocal lessons, dude, its holding you back" but usually wimp out. Well, there, I said it. Your songs deserve it. The piano has nice, beautiful harmonic progressions and form. Clever and very well conceived lyric, with a very catchy refrain...oh, no, not like that! …another phrase completing the verses.
luke handley - You blew it at the end with the chorus. But a brilliant story and really engaging lyric. I really liked that. The fact that you worked a welcome bridge in there for relief gains a couple points.
manhattan glutton - Good thing these aren’t in order because I wouldn’t want you to know I loved this. Crunchy snack bar for my ears. YUM!
merisan - Sweet melancholy that would bless a stay at the hospital to induce sleep and escape. Very well done.
paco - I was dreading a wimpy deconstructionist ending, but was joyfully rewarded with another verse or two. Awesome break and recovery. Amusing production and instrumental wizardry. Counter melodies in the rhythm section should have a national holiday all to themselves. The slide solo is perfect. Clever, silly, engaging and coherent lyric. I don’t need deeper meaning than a sequined bra reference. Effectively absent is a chorus that stands alone. The last line of each verse an enthusiastic completion of said verse.
pop machine - That bridge chorus thing kills this. Plus the bad Dylan reference. But that other bridge thing is very cool.
rabid garfunkle - I like the dynamics and instrumentation, but the production holds it back a good deal. Your voice, strong and hardy, is too forward. I love that lead keyboard. These lyric come off entirely superficial and shallow, void of substance, without clever tricks they don’t stand. "To go sans my best friend and partner in crime" only fits the title spelling in snudy euro snudiness. I once got criticized for using "swell" in a song, even though it made total sense in context.
ross - Lovely story backed by solid performance. Crayons always win points.
wreckdoM - Like others, I don’t know who you are anymore, this then throws off my own perception about myself and all that the world means to me. Concerned is too weak a term, yet unalarmed is too powerful.
WSA - Ummm…awesome? I’ll get back to you.
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
A new catheter and a pack of gummy bears, thanks.BenKrieger wrote:A&H==>
Pop Machine ==> I'm going to get some more popcorn and use the can…need anything?
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
I'll have to step up my game for the next round (if I make it through) and actually take more time than just the last night to work on it.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
OK, but seriously (and I don't say that often, trust me) WHAT Dylan reference? I legitimately curious, since we didn't conciously put one in there...roymond wrote:
pop machine - That bridge chorus thing kills this. Plus the bad Dylan reference. But that other bridge thing is very cool.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Pop Machine wrote:OK, but seriously (and I don't say that often, trust me) WHAT Dylan reference? I legitimately curious, since we didn't conciously put one in there...roymond wrote:
pop machine - That bridge chorus thing kills this. Plus the bad Dylan reference. But that other bridge thing is very cool.
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Heh, oh yeah, THAT Dylan reference...roymond wrote:Pop Machine wrote:OK, but seriously (and I don't say that often, trust me) WHAT Dylan reference? I legitimately curious, since we didn't conciously put one in there...roymond wrote:
pop machine - That bridge chorus thing kills this. Plus the bad Dylan reference. But that other bridge thing is very cool.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
"This video is not available in your country."roymond wrote:[youtube video]
I hope you realise that this means you get less points from me...
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- Somebody Get Me A Doctor
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:58 pm
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: John Kloberdanz, Gizmo Blacksmith, Levittdown, Cloverdance, Rod The Bunman
- Pronouns: He/Him
- Contact:
Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
My 5 favorites in alpha order were:
BLT
FBF
Merisan
Paco
Ross
Abbott and Hines – I enjoyed this song! The approach to the song is different from most here, the theme is funny, and the length is perfect. Almost in my top 5.
Billy's Little Trip – ROCK! An outstanding entry.
Boffo Yux Dudes – Blues needs to be done really really well to be excellent, and the “orange” joke is overused.
Bram Tant – Good rock song, lyrics needed more work. Lyrics that don’t rhyme should have something else going for them, and these are plain.
DJ Ranger Den – I enjoyed your round zero entry. This one not so much. It reminded me of annoying ex-girlfriends that rambled complaints to me so quickly that I didn’t know where to start trying to make things better.
Embers of Autumn – Could have a faster beat and instruments, some of the lyrical ideas work but it needs a melody vs. the rambling nature of the vocals. Way too long.
Frankie Big Face – I’m not going to get into the chorus/refrain debate. This is a great song.
Glen Raphael – Overall good song. If it were mine, and I decided to work it more, I would either keep it about myself by changing the middle verse, or have the third verse tie the first two together. For me, this is what kept it from being in the top tier of the round.
John Kloberdanz – I think I emulated The Smiths reasonably well, both in terms of the sound and the little lyrical points (like “laundry day isn’t a problem”).
Jon Eric – Dense, graceful, and unique.
Luke Henley – Wishing this had a punk rock band like Husker Du playing it vs. acoustic guitar.
Manhattan Glutton – A solid entry, and any ideas I have would be nits and nats. Doesn’t quite make it to my top tier of the round because I felt like I needed more.
Merisan – A beautiful song beautifully done.
Paco del Stinko – After your round zero win, you are clearly at the top of your game. After me, you’re my son Jack’s favorite songfighter but it might be because of your name. A fun song well performed.
Pop Machine – I find the switch from the verses to the refrain jarring, in a rough way. Way too slow and long.
Rabid Garfunkel – Jack likes your name too, so he asked to listen to your song last night. He said that it sounds like a nintendo game, then he asked me what it was about. I didn’t know.
Ross Durand – YES! Ross rarely disappoints with his arrangements. I listen to the first verse and hoped that drums would kick in on the second, and there they are. Good, very good.
The Worldly Self Assurance – A solid entry, a good song, nothing else I can say, just not quite up to the top 5 for me.
WreckdoM – This one didn’t go anywhere for me, you’ve done much better, but I can’t say I have any suggestions either.
BLT
FBF
Merisan
Paco
Ross
Abbott and Hines – I enjoyed this song! The approach to the song is different from most here, the theme is funny, and the length is perfect. Almost in my top 5.
Billy's Little Trip – ROCK! An outstanding entry.
Boffo Yux Dudes – Blues needs to be done really really well to be excellent, and the “orange” joke is overused.
Bram Tant – Good rock song, lyrics needed more work. Lyrics that don’t rhyme should have something else going for them, and these are plain.
DJ Ranger Den – I enjoyed your round zero entry. This one not so much. It reminded me of annoying ex-girlfriends that rambled complaints to me so quickly that I didn’t know where to start trying to make things better.
Embers of Autumn – Could have a faster beat and instruments, some of the lyrical ideas work but it needs a melody vs. the rambling nature of the vocals. Way too long.
Frankie Big Face – I’m not going to get into the chorus/refrain debate. This is a great song.
Glen Raphael – Overall good song. If it were mine, and I decided to work it more, I would either keep it about myself by changing the middle verse, or have the third verse tie the first two together. For me, this is what kept it from being in the top tier of the round.
John Kloberdanz – I think I emulated The Smiths reasonably well, both in terms of the sound and the little lyrical points (like “laundry day isn’t a problem”).
Jon Eric – Dense, graceful, and unique.
Luke Henley – Wishing this had a punk rock band like Husker Du playing it vs. acoustic guitar.
Manhattan Glutton – A solid entry, and any ideas I have would be nits and nats. Doesn’t quite make it to my top tier of the round because I felt like I needed more.
Merisan – A beautiful song beautifully done.
Paco del Stinko – After your round zero win, you are clearly at the top of your game. After me, you’re my son Jack’s favorite songfighter but it might be because of your name. A fun song well performed.
Pop Machine – I find the switch from the verses to the refrain jarring, in a rough way. Way too slow and long.
Rabid Garfunkel – Jack likes your name too, so he asked to listen to your song last night. He said that it sounds like a nintendo game, then he asked me what it was about. I didn’t know.
Ross Durand – YES! Ross rarely disappoints with his arrangements. I listen to the first verse and hoped that drums would kick in on the second, and there they are. Good, very good.
The Worldly Self Assurance – A solid entry, a good song, nothing else I can say, just not quite up to the top 5 for me.
WreckdoM – This one didn’t go anywhere for me, you’ve done much better, but I can’t say I have any suggestions either.
- roymond
- Beat It
- Posts: 5188
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
- Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
- Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
- Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank, Moody Vermin
- Pronouns: he/him
- Location: brooklyn
- Contact:
Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
HA! I do know GEMA and SONY are not friends.jast wrote:"This video is not available in your country."roymond wrote:[youtube video]
I hope you realise that this means you get less points from me...
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
- BoffoYux
- Panama
- Posts: 943
- Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:22 pm
- Instruments: Keys, Clunking, SFX and Strings
- Recording Method: Audacity, Adobe, and other 'A' titled software
- Submitting as: Boffo Yux Dudes
- Location: New England
- Contact:
Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One
Yes. You met at the diner and found a way to make music together. Make sure it leaves a $20 bill on the nightstand before it takes off in the morning.dantes wrote:"finds his guitar" ? I always find my guitar, since it's the basis of my music. I assume you mean a guitar style which suits me?BoffoYux wrote: Bram Tant
Bram finds his guitar. Nice riff. Not the best choice to have the drums in stereo, and pan the vocals and guitar full L/R. You have some passion in the lyrics, but it's overmodulating the mic. Good effort.