Nur Ein VI Round One "Colourblind"

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JonPorobil
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by JonPorobil »

Some very curt reviews from your competition.

A&H - For such a jokey song this really plods. Up the tempo and we'll talk.

Billy's Little Trip - Oh yeah! I love the cadence of the verses. It really compensates for the lack of chorus and adds a catchy-factor.

Boffo Yux Dudes - If there's one thing I can abide even less than a bad song, it's an INTENTIONALLY bad song. How you eluded elimination this round is beyond me.

Bram Tant - This is kind of samey, but much more coherent and listenable than last week.

DJ Ranger Den - Complaining about complaining? How delightfully meta. It feels like a real reach to make this subject matter relevant to the title.

Embers of Autumn - I won't fault you for submitting such a long song - especially seeing as I submitted an even longer one for Round 1 last year - but I will fault you for failing to sing on-key for large portions of it. This gets better as it goes, and I actually like the coda, but unfortunately, you spent the first two minutes or so just digging your own grave.

Frankie Big Face - That's totally a chorus. It doesn't resolve the verse or feel like part of the verse, and you even seal the deal by adding harmonies, extra instruments, changing the drums, and repeating it. This is an absolutely lovely song, though. It's catchy and the lyrics are evocative. Good thing this is only Round 1. Later on in the competition, that challenge might have ended you.

Glen Raphael - I talked to you in the IRC room about this, but might as well make the comments public. There's no low-end here; the song is sorely lacking a bassline. Also, I like the synthy bits, but I feel like they come and go more or less at random. Also, there's certain parts where it feels like you're struggling to keep up with the metronome. Middle-of-the-road material here.

John Kloberdanz - This is cute, but the lyrics are inane.

Jon Eric - Distract them with sloppy piano playing, and they'll never notice that you stole the melody from Jim Croce. Yesssssss.

Luke Henley - Better than last week by a lot, but just about anything would be. The lyrics are kind of rambly. Superman comes out of nowhere.

Manhattan Glutton - Big and shiny. Not that engaging. I'm pretty sure that vib line counts as a chorus.

Merisan - This is pretty. Full of lovely guitar playing, lovely lyrics, lovely singing. Sadly, when it's over, I don't remember any of it.

Paco del Stinko - Kind of weird, but that's your stock-in-trade. The lyrics are annoyingly didactic. Your fake ending works a little too well, as I'm actually disappointed when it picks back up again. I do like the "Don't be mean" part. Reminds me of that quote from Vonnegut, in God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater: "God damn it, babies, you've got to be kind."

Pop Machine - There's a lot that's wrong with this song. I didn't have it pegged for elimination, but wow there's a lot of annoying stuff going on here. Colover? And am I misunderstanding here, or is the "lesson" that our main character learns actually "know your place and don't follow your dreams?" Or maybe it's "Don't sign papers for demons in disguise?" What was his crime, specifically? It doesn't make any sense. Oh, and there's a chorus.

Rabid Garfunkel - Great lyrics, fine song. Except turn down that Rhodes.

Ross Durand - My favorite for the second week in a row. Every new element that came into the mix surprised and delighted. I love the structure. No refrain, no chorus, but it's still catchy! Great!

WreckdoM - There's some unevenness between the singers; whoever recorded second should have made more of an effort to match whoever recorded first. Plus, it's pretty clear that the two singers are using different types of microphones (see Abbot and Hines from last week). If that's Denni, I find it especially strange, because y'all are in the same city; she could have come down to your studio to record that! In other news, I'm not sure how this connects to the title.

WSA - This is nice. Not sure I would have had it pegged for the win, but it's a pretty good song. The lyrics are a little emo for my tastes.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Ross »

Some of you may be amused that I did this today

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= ... 373&type=1
"I don't like this song, but at least it's good." - veGetar Ianra Ge
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by BoffoYux »

Generic wrote:Some very curt reviews from your competition.

Boffo Yux Dudes - If there's one thing I can abide even less than a bad song, it's an INTENTIONALLY bad song. How you eluded elimination this round is beyond me.
I think I wasn't clear. The puns were intentionally bad. The song was not. There's not much point in even doing the song as a joke if you set out to do it to pain the listener. There was thought put into it, and a few different attempts at getting it to jell.

In hindsight, we might have stripped it back too simple. We'll try and jazz up the next one to community standards, since we did squeak by this round. I literally have no clue what the judges are looking for, and it's pretty obvious from the scores that we're missing the mark.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by WeaselSlayer »

I normally play Zelda or listen to black metal (or both) around this time of night, but since you've all been so nice about writing reviews here are some of mine.

Abbott & Hines - I think this song could have been about twice as fast with a little more oomph behind it. Lyrically it's kind of cute, but the punch line of being in Wal-Mart could have come a lot sooner.

Billy's Little Trip - I like the progression here, how you take the same verse basically but change it up just enough that I'm still interested. The instrumental break is well-played, and provides a nice little change-up. Nice and brief.

BYD - I really don't like the blues being used as a vehicle for parody. The Dead Milkmen are maybe the only band that ever made me laugh with a blues joke song, and that was because if you took the lyrics away the playing was still kick ass. This to me is just another lazy parody of the genre, and not very enjoyable.

Bram Tant - It's very weird and awesome that I'm not the only one who ripped off Husker Du in this round! I like the guitar riff, but the vocals and lyrics didn't catch my attention much.

DJ Ranger Den - I like that you changed from cutesy faux rap. I am not crazy that said change was to a sound akin to Regina Spektor, but that's just a personal bias. I like the dissonance and resolution in the piano. I love dissonance and resolution a lot. My interest bottomed out with about a minute to go, but that's an easy pitfall when trying to go without a chorus.

Embers of Autumn - Meandering and out of key. I don't believe the delivery, it seems oddly detached and insincere.

Frankie Big Face - Your guitar playing is always really interesting, chord changes that are very pleasant and creative. The refrain in this song sounds sneakily like a chorus, but it works wonders in keeping the propulsion of this song motoring along. Really nice pop song.

Glenn Raphael - Well performed, nice percussive playing. Lyrically and melodically it's alright, but nothing that really sticks in my mind.

John Kloberdanz - I don't really know what "Boys will be boys, even when they're colourblind" means. I think at any point in these lyrics you could have switched colourblind with any other adjective and it probably would have made about as much sense to the song as a whole. But, that said, I think this was a decent riff on 80s mope rock. But, while not terrible, this didn't really interest me much.

Jon Eric - A lot of sad piano in this fight. I like the progression of the music, but (and I think this is starting to be a trend for me in this fight) lyrically this is very much clever/kind of cute but ultimately doesn't provoke any sort of real emotion for me. The biggest reaction I had to it was a sort of smirk and a "Hm" here and there. Maybe a slight nod to myself. I do like the playing on it, though.

Manhattan Glutton - Another song that is very well-played, better executed than I could have done, well-sung, and very appealing aesthetically. Lyrically falls once again into the clever/cute category that I just don't have the ear for.

Merisan - Nice to hear a really authentic-sounding Village Folk take on the non-chorus challenge. This is very pretty, and I really believe the delivery of the lyrics which is crucial to a song like this. I just really like it a lot.

Paco del Stinko - Kind of has that They Might Be Giants-by-way-of-The Aquabats feel to it. A lot of different bridges together, keeping the song interesting. The vocal-only bridge I started to feel was a misstep, but it was over in just a moment and then back into a jaunty finish. So, all in all, pretty good.

Pop Machine - Well-executed musically, but the lyrical take is pretty lazy. And I also think this has a chorus, even if it's a short chorus. And not a good chorus.

Rabid Garfunkel - There isn't very much energy to this, and I think that takes away from the song which seems like it could have been delivered with a lot of passion.

Ross Durand - I guess technically this doesn't have a chorus, but it sure sounds like it does. But other than that, totally fine listenable song, but nothing that grabs me much other than the Yes-style keyboards which are awesome.

WreckdoM - This seems, dare I say, a little generic coming from WreckdoM camp. I like all the performances, musically and vocally, but the songwriting lacks some sparks that I really was hoping for. Then again, if anybody else had done this I probably would have just said "Hey pretty good nice job." Maybe this is like when Ween did that song "Stay Forever" and everyone was like "IS THIS A JOKE OR NOT!? WHAT IS GOING ON, WEEN!?" Ok I'm starting to trip balls on this song now.

The Worldly Self Assurance - Probably the only song here (my own included) that sounds like a professional band that might go on tour or release albums regularly recorded it. Great guitar playing, great vocal performances, great production, great lyrics, obvious round winner by a long shot. But since this is a serious competition and I'm insecure: wuss rock emo's gonna kick your ass Morrissey sucks!
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Caravan Ray »

Ross wrote:Some of you may be amused that I did this today

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= ... 373&type=1
As long as you amused yourself. That is all that is important Ross.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Spintown »

http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2011/04/ ... eview.html

I apparently screwed up in my round 0 review. Tom pointed out to me that Pop Machine did in fact post lyrics, and that I had just missed them somehow. This means that I owe a round 0 review still...so here it is.

Pop Machine - I know I passed on giving you a review, but it wasn't because I disliked the song. I thought the sound was pretty cool, and I can only assume it's educational...cause I sure as hell didn't understand it. I don't really see how it incorporated the title, so I assume that's a fail. In the next round...please talk down to me.

Now...onto Round 1...

DJ Ranger Den - After a departure from her norm, she's back to something more in her wheelhouse. Denise, you know what I'm going to say already, but here it is. Pretty piano, sexy voice, moody & lyrics I don't usually get. The performance was really good though.

Rabid Garfunkel - This song kinda jars you at the start if you ain't ready for it. Lyrically I liked the first verse, but lost interest after that. Don't really know about the music, I think I liked it...after it startled me that is.

Merisan - You're still exceeding expectations. 2nd song in a row I couldn't find anything bad to say about if you paid me to do so. (feel free to test that theory)

Manhattan Glutton - RAWK! Reading along in the lyrics forum I expected this to be longer. Not complaining, but why post lyrics you didn't use? I liked this from the start with the crack about the spelling of the title. Wish I had something constructive to say...but well...I normally don't so why break a trend?

Luke Henley - Listening to this I was reminded of English class back in middle school. Remember getting those long run on sentences in which you had to figure out where to put punctuation? The level of excitement I got from those problems are about equal to the level of excitement I got from this song. This time you made a wise decision to not stretch yourself vocally. I think the abrupt ending needs changed.

The Worldly Self Assurance - Really enjoyed the direction & feel of this song. Thought the vocals were 100% better than round 0, and lyrically I enjoyed it as well. There was only 1 part that I really didn't care for.

"i read the letters from, i read the letters to i never sent
i photocopied, written in my earnest sloppy hand"

Those lines just didn't flow right to me, and I actually stopped the song to go back to make sure I heard it right. VERY solid entry though...well done.

Jon Eric - Normally you've got more hook than my golf swing. I thought this was a really good entry, and I thought the line "You don't even have no working cones" was smart...just not catchy enough to be the hook. Nice work though.

Paco del Stinko - I really liked this a lot. Not having any music in the 3rd verse really made it more intimate. Thought everything you decided to do worked...

Glen Raphael - Thought the bridge needed work, but overall this flowed nicely. Thought the performance was there, and never missed the fact there wasn't a chorus.

Bram Tant - Much better than round 0. Was a little too short for me, but the music rocked. The vocals had the best performance value I've heard from you...but why does only 1 ear get that privilege?

Billy's Little Trip - Was disappointed around the halfway mark because I thought colorblind was going to be more of an afterthought in the song. By the end of course I saw it wasn't, and I had no problems with the direction you took. Normally not the type of storyline I dig, but overall the song worked. Solid entry.

Pop Machine - Musically it didn't hold my attention, and lyrically just to strange for me. I did laugh in a few places...but the humor didn't usually land.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - You took 1 joke, and tried to make it a song. Unfortunately the joke just couldn't stretch far enough. Again, I laughed a couple times to start, but after 35 seconds I was ready for something else. The blues style isn't really something I'm a huge fan of. That's not your fault, but it doesn't help you either.

Frankie Big Face - As close to perfection as anyone came in round 1. Lyrically I thought it was golden, and there's nothing to complain about in any other areas either.

Ross Durand - I like the idea you had, and the execution was great. You're still one of my favorite story tellers. I don't know what it was, but whatever you used in that first instrumental bit was different from what I'm used to from you musically. Not complaining, I liked it.

WreckdoM - No lyrics, no review.

Abbott And Hines - I liked the idea a lot. The music was nice, but again too darn slow for my personal liking. The music & pacing of the song was trying to put me to sleep while the lyrics trying to make me laugh...there's a problem there. I didn't care for the vocal performance, but I don't know if that's just because of issues I already mentioned or a new issue. Nice idea, didn't like the execution.

John Kloberdanz - Music wasn't bad, just repetitive. I liked the lyrics, but they didn't fit with the music in my opinion.

Embers Of Autumn - I expected better from you this round, and you gave it...but that couldn't have been difficult after round 0. Not a fan of the lyrics or vocals in this. Last time I remarked you packed 5 minutes of boredom into a 2 minute song. I wish this was a 2 minute song. It was better, but 5+ minutes was way too long for me.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by dantes »

Generic wrote:Honestly, I'm a little surprised at how well my song has been received. Makes me wonder if I could have been a contender for the immunity, had I bothered to fix the glaring errors.

Ah well. NUR EIN!!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The round's winner gets immunity for the next round? I thought that was a joke!
WeaselSlayer wrote: Bram Tant - It's very weird and awesome that I'm not the only one who ripped off Husker Du in this round!
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've never even heard of that band before. I'll check them out now though.
Spintown wrote: Bram Tant - Much better than round 0. Was a little too short for me, but the music rocked. The vocals had the best performance value I've heard from you...but why does only 1 ear get that privilege?
If I had known in advance that everyone would be this upset about the accidental panning, I would've gone through the pain to export all the tracks individually from Garageband and import them into Cubase so I could try to fix it, which I couldn't in Garageband. But I didn't bother because it was late at night, I was tired, and the required effort was too great after an intense writing and recording session beforehand (especially without any certainty that I could fix it, since I'm bad at that stuff). Consider it a lesson learned.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

Ross wrote:Some of you may be amused that I did this today
Ross Stanley:Star Child!

Dantes: I listen to all of the songs through through a Tivoli Audio radio. One speaker. A great fan of stereo, panning, ping-ponging, etc., I don't complain as the speaker and cabinet sound fantastic. Point of my blathering being that I never heard your lop-sided pan. HOWEVER, I did hear volume peaks and such that could probably be compressed down and leveled out. So there. A fresh complaint. Er, comment. :D
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

Spintown wrote:Not complaining, but why post lyrics you didn't use?
I didn't want to be judged on my extended version, because I rapped at the end. In case you missed the link, it's here.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

Nur Ein Archives | The New Ugly Podcast
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

Generic wrote:Billy's Little Trip - Oh yeah! I love the cadence of the verses. It really compensates for the lack of chorus and adds a catchy-factor.
That's really what I was shooting for. I depend on my chorus in my songs to compensate for lyrics that don't engage the general public. As stated earlier in this thread on the importance of lyrical content, I'm in the low importance camp in these one week competitions where we have about 5 seconds to make a judge want to continue listening. That's not to say that good lyrics aren't important and I do make a strong effort to write something interesting, but no one here is writing anything earth shattering even though they think so in their own minds. So I "try" to make it interesting in other ways with the music and quirky lyrical delivery. So thanks for noticing, JoNer. :wink:
WeaselSlayer wrote: Billy's Little Trip - I like the progression here, how you take the same verse basically but change it up just enough that I'm still interested. The instrumental break is well-played, and provides a nice little change-up. Nice and brief.
Thanks. It's fun to break into a completely different root note and back while trying to make it "sound" seamless, lol. Good ol' crash cymbals and descending bass notes. Natures smoke screen, if you will. :P
Spintown wrote:Billy's Little Trip - Was disappointed around the halfway mark because I thought colorblind was going to be more of an afterthought in the song. By the end of course I saw it wasn't, and I had no problems with the direction you took. Normally not the type of storyline I dig, but overall the song worked. Solid entry.
Thanks. Yeah, I had the second colorblind reference first original, which was nice and cozy. But I thought it would be more fun to make people cringe at the horrible use of it at the beginning so they would breathe a sigh of relief towards the end of the song to enjoy their climatic happy ending. :mrgreen:
....I just wish I made the outro more explosive. Musically I'm happy. Lyrically, it's lame, lol. Rockets bursting in the air, ptshh, seriously? gag!
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Niveous »

dantes wrote:
Generic wrote:Honestly, I'm a little surprised at how well my song has been received. Makes me wonder if I could have been a contender for the immunity, had I bothered to fix the glaring errors.

Ah well. NUR EIN!!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The round's winner gets immunity for the next round? I thought that was a joke!
No joke. Winners in the early rounds get immunity.
"I'd like to see 1984 redubbed with this in the soundtrack."- Furrypedro.
NUR EIN!
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by dantes »

Now I'll have to step up my game to try and get immunity next round. Mission impossible. XD
dantes wrote:
WeaselSlayer wrote: Bram Tant - It's very weird and awesome that I'm not the only one who ripped off Husker Du in this round!
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've never even heard of that band before. I'll check them out now though.
I listened to Hüsker Dü and I concur that our entries both sound somewhat similar to their output. Just seems like coincidence though.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by ken »

Whatever happened to getting immunity via answering trivia questions? BRING BACK TRIVIA IMMUNITY!!!
Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff - Berkeley Social Scene - Tiny Robots - Seamus Collective - Semolina Pilchards - Cutie Pies - Explino! - Bravo Bros. - 2 from 14 - and more!

i would just like to remind everyone that Ken eats kittens - blue lang
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

Paco Del Stinko wrote:BLT - Be interested to see the viddy for this one...maybe!
Yeah, I finally got it to render. Best part, it's really lame but will make you crack a smizile. Hurrr>> http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... 74#p161074
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by RangerDenni »

Without any FURTHER ado, here are the reviews I promised. I tried to criticize this time. It scared me. You know I hate that. :)

Anyway, I'm going to do round Zero too, just because it's the right thing to do. But I s'pose I should finish Ginger as well.
You're welcome to review my reviews, which as usual are very silly.

NUR EIN REVIEWS ROUND ONE
(ranked in not really a particular order especially near the bottom.)

WORLDLY SELF ASSURANCE
the beginning of this was reminiscent of quite a few other things. your snare sounds great, especially with the picking. Not crazy about the backing vocals. The layering is just exquisite though. Everything you do that I would disagree with is not poorly done though, it's more a preference thing and it all really does fit the song and it's beautiful and by the end the backing vocals have grown on me. I think I'm a fan. It feels like a lot of gratuitous soloing. Is this true, or does it just give me a license for later? hmm...

Frankie Big Face
The production on this is outstanding. I am very jealous. These are really jealous reviews it seems. I would tweak the levels or perhaps this is something that happens as part of the mastering process - where the harrrssshhhness I hear gets softened out (I am listening thru my nice-esque headphones), However, please do not throw a pot, or a kettle at me. All I know is that it's at that point where I hear little sounds getting fixed and tweaked by someone who is a professional.. I'm critiquing a mix that's gotten to a point I haven't let my mixes get to. It was good for me to hear this. There are a few of you I hear in this way.

PACO DEL STINKO
that's a lot of words to shove into a verse. Also a lot of notes to shove into a guitar break. And a lot of changes. Does it fit the song? Probably. I dunno. Your production is distracting me away from proper analysis of things because it is snazzy and awesome. All of a sudden you get bold and it's just you. Your choices are interesting to say the least. And your voice is REALLY distinctive. I will say that you are definitely scary competition. :)

MANHATTAN GLUTTON
I was losing the beat with stray guitar noises at first. Then it all kicked in.

This is the sexiest song in the contest. It needs to be in a movie or something.


MERSIAN
exquisite picking and a tight duo. the balance of her melody on top and his ghostly backup was lovely. It was hard to connect with a bit - I almost wanted to hear absolute perfection because it sounded like session musicians. the lyrics were precious and nice. your surpassing purity makes me feel a bit like when Jewel came out with her first exquisite record and you ride around in the car with your soon-to-be-ex boyfriend; having to agree that you love the song and yes- it is terribly superior to anything you could produce. if I put my critiquey glasses on i'd have to say tighten up that sound at the end.. it doesn't match the rest of the tight production (i feel i am just saying something to say something.) If I wanted to find something wrong with it, I would need to listen to it a few more times and it's just a really nice song, but is not really getting to me. Once again, I'm being this way because I know you're good, but I'd like to hear the song you'd write for the end of the movie credits. It was a well done thing and in a songfight i would give it a vote.
It's lovely. Something seriously to technically learn from and I'd do NAUGHTY things to be able to pick (and sing) that consistently...

ROSS DURAND
You are a ridiculously good songwriter and your production is good. I didn't like your solo instrument, I thought it threw off the rest of the production, which feels kind of alt-rockabilly and like electronic-synthy things are an encroachment upon it. I almost wanted a sweet Nickel-Creeky kind of fiddle in there, or a mandolin. Your vocal is sometimes slightly off pitch, but this is because I am being VERY nit-picky and when I say this here I'm being more critical here than I am of others because it's a solid song you could do stuff with. This is not because your vocal is not good, because it's strong and distinctive. Strong melody, good hook. That's just you though, you SONGWRITER!!!

DJ
[@suspiciousden unmercifully reviews herSELF]
your vox are too quiet, woman. then you clip. it's amateur hour at the D-house once again. there's a disturbing distorty effect, which i know you're praying people will attribute to your rush-job … but more and more you are seeming to clip your way over anally constructed, precious pianos with gorgeous intricate parts; all to thoughtful pensive lyrics… maybe. Who knows? ..no one can hear you muttering, and then whine-shouting through your closet door. Perhaps you are hoping that people will forgive your lack of a melody since you don't have a hooky chorus to fall back on. Still, this might have character. Could be redeemable. Or put in the destined-for-poetry/spoken word salvage yard. Who can tell? Pray you make it thru.

BILLYS LT
not my favorite tone until stuff kicks in, then it becomes my feelings-favorite of the bunch. definitely would put down some clams to see you live, meaning your voice is growing on me. You handle it well, like you have a lot of experience. The lyrics are not sticking with me until the middle, where all the cleverness pops out and slaps you about the face until the end with their coolness. seems like it's peaking a little from time to time, but I'm not going to say anymore about that because my levels were all over the place and I could be totally wrong about this. your vamps were fun and tasty. As far as whether or not it jams.. well. damn!!!!

JON ERIC
this is very theatrical. i want to say "this sounds like…" and then a comparison fades away. There are some rough edges in the playing, in overall performance, but not in writing or recording. I would be interested to know if you recorded it singing-playing at once, that would make a difference for me on the flubs - although I am one who flubs and says "umm, I MEANT to do that, it's in the CHORD!!" You are a really good player! It's nice to hear some technique that forces me to look in the mirror and think that perhaps I should wipe the mayo off my hands. I can't decide how I feel about your voice. The problem here is that I know that you are from Austin too; and because I know full well you don't sound like everyone else from here - I am automatically a fan. Seems inappropriate for here though, a partiality that shouldn't be discussed. Maybe I keep circling the wrong gigs and you know some shows I should be seeing when I emerge from my cave, hmm?

WRECKDOM
I jumped ahead to review this because I'd read Jon Eric's comment about your guest vocalist - similarity to me. On her - there's an effect on her that makes her squishysounding. Her vocal though is interesting and in a tambre that reminds me of mine, but with that maturity that I *can not seem to achieve* so it's neat to hear, but again, I don't know if it's the mic she's going into or an effect - I'd love to hear her live or thru a different mic.
The song has much rock and makes me want to be in a band again. End was too abrupt. Nice and spicy.

JOHN KLOBERDANZ
does the pattern get repetitive? i don't know. i wanted a change in harmonic structure. the premise is cool. i liked your "ho-ho-ho." Your voice is SO interesting! You take some risks with what you do with it that make it fit the instrumentation choices you make. With that in mind, I could have used even more instrumental-electronictype development. Some little noises, beeps, whatever. It's neat though. Fresh and cool.

GLEN RAPHAEL
your guitar sound = me jealous. more cleverness with the lyrics and just everything I love about Glen. The vocals.. sigh (fangirl). I'm sorry - I'm a fan. Not WILD about the pace change in-between chorus bit and verses. I *think* I wanted a 'Firefly'-esque fiddle or some other western-y soloistic type of line to hop in the saddle and keep on driving this thing. The bits after the bridge could have been a little cleaner. But your layering is once again so YOU and [more silliness. i'm backing away from this review now].

ABBOT and HINES
I feel like I should NOT be such a stickler about the piano part, but I feel like you are at a point where you could be making things more interesting and less plodding. YES! You are expected to do this even when your house is being besieged by extreme weather! I am also not crazy about the samples until the clarinetty one comes in which I liked better. That started sounding more Caleb-y to me. JoAnn, you could vamp it up more and be more in character. I think this could have been less sloppy but I know it was tough this week. If I didn't find the concept of the WalMart People so appalling in the first place I would say that the premise was funny. Lyrics were clever. :) You guys work nicely in pair.

LUKE HENLEY
This sounds garagey to me. Kind of hollow. The backing vocals are strange. The thing is, it's so consistent! the bass drummy sounding thud sounds a bit off and distracting, which is strange because of that consistency. I really like the vocal, and the feeling that there's a tape recorder in the middle of the room. I feel like.. Violent Femme-y or something. I like the slow part and the lyrics of it. I like the way that you perform the line about "shook the black soot off my eyes." You do clip a bit, but you probably know that you do that during the shouty bits. Oooo! You just shouted at me and ran away! Serves *me* right for clipping at YOU I s'pose….. also I haven't decided if it maybe could have used another noise of some kind after the cutoff.

BRAM TANT
nice drums at the start, especially the roll into it. your channel separation is killing me though. as in round zero, which you will hear about later - i don't know if your cool accent is part of the reason you get away with a lot of what you get away with. you did an abrupt end, which I can't say shit about because I "_yep'ped" my end again. i like the melody choice you made on the "show me the rainbow" line. I think you could work on this song more production-wise and it could come across. it's catchy.

RABID GARFUNKEL
I enjoy the depth of your voice. I don't like the harsh feeling of the samples. I am not crazy about the overall texture of the song. But it's well recorded, and I think it's well mixed. I'm listening to it in headphones and it might sound a bit fuzzy to me. I feel like I am supposed to get something here that I'm not picking up on. I think what I'm trying to say is that I appreciate this on many levels. It's not GRABBING at me though. Ooo! nice fadeout! I did like the baseline but would have put something else over it. Of course, it is not my song now, is it? :)

BOFFO YUX DUDES
The tuning in your voice… do I want to criticize you and give you grief? i haven't decided … no.. I like your vocal. It fits the style. is the harmonica annoying? I don't know. are you drunk? i'm trying to pretend I don't know you but it's hard because I'm a fan from before and you're a fu-peep so I'll either be too nice or too mean. it's either really authentic and REALLY frickkin cool or a train wreck. It picks up and moves at 1:20 so I'm going to have a virtual beer now and a real one tonight and give you the benefit of the doubt. especially with the little growly bit at the end. frrowr. (i am a problem child). I think I like it, but not as much as your round one. Still, as a musical act y'all have developed so nicely!

EMBERS OF AUTUMN
I like the effect on your keys. I feel like you're singing in a different key than you're playing in … but you seem to resolve on the note most of the time - I think. and I like your voice, I think. The pattern gets a little old, but I think this of most rock ballads, for I am a piano snob. There were lots of redeeming qualities concerning your lyrics. I'd like someone (not me, don't have the chops… yet..) to boss you around productionwise and maybe see you recut this. Lots of passion here. Seems to go on a bit… the outro idea on the "but-she's-nots" could be tightened in and made very effective.

POP MACHINE
very interesting line leading into something even more interesting. This is clever and different. I don't get you! What are you thinking?! I REALLY liked this one a lot, actually I have no idea what to say to you! Ooo. There's that Dylan line.
I do want to say that you almost sound like you're being weird just to be weird.
...No, you're just clever and nifty and strange. Perhaps I am jealous because you outstranged me. Yay.
I don't know if I agreed with your premise. I do realize how stupid that sounds. I will, however, listen to it again.

NUR EIN!

ps. apparently, the maximum number of allowed smileys is four. perhaps I need an attitude adjustment. or something with vodka in it.
Last edited by RangerDenni on Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Really interesting how the point you’re making slowly emerges like Martin Sheen from the mud in Apocalypse Now..." ~j$
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Rabid Garfunkel
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Rabid Garfunkel »

RangerDenni wrote:I feel like I am supposed to get something here that I'm not picking up on.
...and that something is my round one songs are always for and about my wife. Thanks for the review :-)

Nur Ein!!
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Be my friend? --- Song of the Day
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RangerDenni
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by RangerDenni »

Rabid Garfunkel wrote:
RangerDenni wrote:I feel like I am supposed to get something here that I'm not picking up on.
...and that something is my round one songs are always for and about my wife. Thanks for the review :-)

Nur Ein!!
That's wonderful. What a great tradition. :)
"Really interesting how the point you’re making slowly emerges like Martin Sheen from the mud in Apocalypse Now..." ~j$
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Pop Machine »

RangerDenni wrote: POP MACHINE
very interesting line leading into something even more interesting. This is clever and different. I don't get you! What are you thinking?! I REALLY liked this one a lot, actually I have no idea what to say to you! Ooo. There's that Dylan line.
I do want to say that you almost sound like you're being weird just to be weird.
...No, you're just clever and nifty and strange. Perhaps I am jealous because you outstranged me. Yay.
I don't know if I agreed with your premise. I do realize how stupid that sounds. I will, however, listen to it again. .
RangerDenni, thanks for making me laugh, smile and think with your review. You made my day.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by RangerDenni »

Pop Machine wrote: RangerDenni, thanks for making me laugh, smile and think with your review. You made my day.
Well, that is nice to hear, because I think my reviews are ri-donk-q-lous. but s'okay. at least i attempted critique this time. perhaps someday I will be acerbic. ha, ha. i really doubt this.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by JonPorobil »

RangerDenni wrote: JON ERIC
this is very theatrical. i want to say "this sounds like…" and then a comparison fades away. There are some rough edges in the playing, in overall performance, but not in writing or recording. I would be interested to know if you recorded it singing-playing at once, that would make a difference for me on the flubs - although I am one who flubs and says "umm, I MEANT to do that, it's in the CHORD!!" You are a really good player! It's nice to hear some technique that forces me to look in the mirror and think that perhaps I should wipe the mayo off my hands. I can't decide how I feel about your voice. The problem here is that I know that you are from Austin too; and because I know full well you don't sound like everyone else from here - I am automatically a fan. Seems inappropriate for here though, a partiality that shouldn't be discussed. Maybe I keep circling the wrong gigs and you know some shows I should be seeing when I emerge from my cave, hmm?
Thanks for the very well-thought-out review!

I double-passed the piano. Everything up to the third verse (the pianissimo one that I sing in falsetto) is one take, and everything after is another take. There's a really obvious edit right around that part. I guess everyone thought it was a vocal edit, but it's actually the piano splice. I did wind up with some spare time at the end of this fight, but decided for the sake of my sanity not to go back and correct the flubs. If you want to hear a song where the "mistakes" really were intentional, go back and relisten to my "Stranded" from Round One last year. One the second half of the bridge - the "She never cared about you" part - I'm basically just mashing the keyboard with my palm. It was very cathartic to play.

It's especially strange, the way musicians can envy one another. Our techniques are clearly somewhat different from one another, because there are times when I hear your playing and think "Man, she's good; I need to work on my technique more." Then I read that you're thinking the same thing about me. I guess it's just one of those "grass is always greener" things.

Anyways. I don't currently play any shows. I've spent the last two years with far too unstable a work schedule to commit to anything (that might change in the next month or two - fingers crossed). I attend the occasional open mic, but it's less than ideal because I'm gradually moving away from guitar, and very few open-mic venues (by which I mean none that I've found) are equipped for pianists. Do you know of any? I occasionally bring my guitar to an open mic and play "Back from Juvie" and/or "Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop," but I get really self-conscious at those gigs because they're usually populated by people for whom guitar is a primary instrument, and who have much more facility with the instrument than I do.

I've been saying this to all the Austin Songfighters for a while (WreckdoM, I'm looking at you too here), but we should meet up sometime. I like being able to put real-life faces and personalities to all this music. :)
RangerDenni also wrote: WRECKDOM
I jumped ahead to review this because I'd read Jon Eric's comment about your guest vocalist - similarity to me. On her - there's an effect on her that makes her squishysounding. Her vocal though is interesting and in a tambre that reminds me of mine, but with that maturity that I *can not seem to achieve* so it's neat to hear, but again, I don't know if it's the mic she's going into or an effect - I'd love to hear her live or thru a different mic.
The song has much rock and makes me want to be in a band again. End was too abrupt. Nice and spicy.
Aw, I'm actually kind of disappointed that it wasn't you. But now I'm really puzzled about the discrepancy in mic quality.
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Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Niveous »

Generic wrote:Hey WreckdoM! Is that Ranger Den guesting on your track? How very bold! It's not even the guest round yet!
Guest? There's been a female member of the WreckdoM camp for years now. See "El Balazo" & "Shoelace Soup".
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round One

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

RangerDenni wrote:BILLYS LT
not my favorite tone until stuff kicks in, then it becomes my feelings-favorite of the bunch. definitely would put down some clams to see you live, meaning your voice is growing on me. You handle it well, like you have a lot of experience. The lyrics are not sticking with me until the middle, where all the cleverness pops out and slaps you about the face until the end with their coolness. seems like it's peaking a little from time to time, but I'm not going to say anymore about that because my levels were all over the place and I could be totally wrong about this. your vamps were fun and tasty. As far as whether or not it jams.. well. damn!!!!
Billy's LT, I like that. It sounds like I'm loaded AND paid extra for the undercoating. :D

Vamps? There were no blood suckers in this song. But I'm surprised you didn't mention anything about the repeated words in the verses. :P
Thanks DJ
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