Nur Ein VI Round Four "Patient Number 7"

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dantes
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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Last edited by dantes on Mon May 16, 2011 6:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by RangerDenni »

I listened to things again last night before throwing my computer and my pianos as well into the sea. Ended up feeling better about it all but havent taken the next listen. Husband said "no.. your song is NOT embarrassing." But your cacophany usage is very musical and subtle. Then we talked about song setting and murder and insane asylums. My pacing decisions still could be looked upon, perhaps. hmm.
Cacophony usage is deliberate and musical. And hopefully not questionable. It sparked a fun discussion with the husband so that was nice. NUR EIN!
This song contains a vibraphone I used for a contract I did for hire. It was part of a developmental patch. I almost used the mellotron Wwind/String I made.. but the cacophony sounded stupid with that. The gongs made it sound more like "me." Which may be good, or bad. Hopefully being "blues-y" is enough of an interesting thing to throw in the mix.
It was hard to sing slowly, so I think i felt funny about it. Nur Ein is such a challenge!!
"Really interesting how the point you’re making slowly emerges like Martin Sheen from the mud in Apocalypse Now..." ~j$
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

I left my composed email open last night and forgot to hit send. Hahah.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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Oops. I'm sure that if you send it now, Niveous will add it, since you've got immunity anyway.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

I did. :) If not, I can throw it online somewhere. I was done on Thursday but waited to submit it thinking I'd have more time to polish it up.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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dantes
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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But you didn't, because of houseguests, right?
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

I'm getting nothing but an error sign on the "LISTEN" link above.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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Fixed, the forum messed up the link I put in.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

Thanks, Dantes. Just started my third listen to the songs. Some very good stuff, although some may be lacking cacophony. Comments soon.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by bambamoozle »

Some reviews, if I had a vote it would be Ross for the win.

BLT – Great beat, great vocals. Only suggestion is to lose the “cum” line, it’s just not needed. I didn’t really hear cacophony, but I liked this song quite a bit. Change that one line and I’d let my kids listen to it. On the edge due to the cacophony issue.

Bram– My favorite of the songs you’ve submitted in Nur Ein. It’s got a good beat. The vocals are on pitch but the melody is a bit monotonous. I’m not sure that the sounds are cacophonious (is that a word) enough. On the edge due to the cacophony.

DJ – I like this better than the last song. Your style is consistent from song to song, which is good if one REALLY likes that style. I’ve never been a fan of Ani Difranco, I find her voice irritating and she once ruined a John and Mary concert by sitting behind me and talking loudly with her friends for the whole show. 20 years ago and I still hold it against her. Anyway, I don’t hear any cacophony at all in any way by either definition (musical or noise) so I would say you’re on the edge for that.

Frankie– Your recovery recording quality is better than some people do on their best day (looking in mirror). Good use of cacophony. Very creepy. Will go on.

John and the Dances – One of my better vocal performances, although I’ve never done do wop. My phrasing is reminiscent of Jack Logan on a bad day, but Jack doesn’t have my range and I don’t have his talent. Has some cacophony. Will not win but may be good enough to move me onward, I think I squeak through.

Merisan – A pretty song well performed. The beginning is similar to Richard McGraw's "St. Anthony" with the uke sounding instrument alone, may even be the same chord. Distorted guitar for the cacophony, but it’s not too distorted. There are greater cacophony issues this round though in other entries. Will go on.

Paco – Sounds like you were going for Thomas the Tank Engine, but Number Seven is Toby. Maybe the Little Engine That Could then. Good song, well performed, good cacophony. Will go on.

Ross – When’s the next Arnold movie coming out? Take out “shit” and it’s the theme song. Now there’s cacophony in the form of distortion. Definitely goes on.

Wreck – Creepy. Plenty of cacophony. What’s the story though? HA! Will go on.

WSA – Now, here’s a WSA song I like. Well written and played. I like how the title doesn’t come in but it’s pretty obvious. Goes on way too long at the end, could cut a minute and a half and still have more than enough of the cacophony distortion. Will go on.

MGlutton - Certainly doesn't lack distortion cacophony! Would go on if it had to, immunity not needed.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

Quick comments done during the third pass. Please ask for clarification if needed. NUR EIN!!!!!!

BLT - Another great rocker, good lyrics and despite the grody factor in the condom line, it works well. Wondering where the cacophony is, though. Could spell trouble, Boy in the Bubble!

Bram Tant
- Certainly cacophonous. The lyrics are a bit on the cheap side, but imagine me trying Flemish, so good work. This has the best energy of your entries, which are mostly improving as we progress. Feels a bit incomplete, perhaps lacking a change.

DJ Ranger Den
- I hope this isn't autobiographical, although I'd be interested to know the stories behind it. I like the relatively straight forward approach here, although it strats to wander a bit when you start singing about the water the first time. The hubster is correct that the cacophony is subtle, it might be considered just dissonant, which may also be acceptable to them thar judges. Love the vibes.

FBF - Glad you made it in. I kind of hope it's hard for you to write, as it always appears effortless when listening. Anyway, nice 70's type singer/songwriter tune, though not dated sounding. Beatle-esque at times as well. I like the lyrical wrap-up at the end, you being the patient. Similar to DJ Den, might the cacophony be deemed "just" dissonace? Regardless, it works well.

John Koberdanz - Sounds simlar to the Persuasions. Ballsy approach and you pulled it off very well. Don't the cacophony sounds stand out well? Yes, they do. Good story, all too true. The rhymes may come across as too simple, but they certainly are apprpriate. Very good, although the ending could somehow breathe out a bit. Maybe just doo-wops fading out or something.

Merisan - Very cute, and kootchy-koo rubs to your chins. I hope you can clarify what the cacophony is, as this song is too good to get in the trouble it may find in the challenge department. I don't think the metronome will count. Nice instrumentation and Erin sounds lovely.

PdS - The lyrics are kinda lame, but I think tell the story well enough. Shaky, at best vocals, but I like the music depsite the flubby finger picking. Real pedal steel though I only used two strings!

Ross
- Starts off like a BLT type song! Ha! It feels like it's going to be kind of straight forward, and good, but only gets better as it goes, breaking open and then down, into the great cacophony section. Wow, that slams. The shot, the total chaos, horns, alram, fantastic. Totally exciting. I think this should win.

WreckdoM - I dunno, this could win as well. I love how the cacophany goes throughout the entire song, and those lyrics are great, especially the lightning lips line. I don't know what it means but don't care. The music is hypnotizing and oddly soothing, still moving underneath the cacophny. Great stuff and a fine display of WreckdoM (cool) weirdness yet matured.

WSA - Very strong odor of Melvin. Mmmm. Smells good. I like the ballady feel here, and the gentle use of cacophony helps the song out when it almost starts to feel a tad too long. I'm glad the song is nice and open feeling though, not all dense like, uh, mine. The rounds at the end are nice and dreamy, gladly reapeating and embracing. Best part of the song.

ManGlut
- Super and demented riff at the beginning, the crushed swirl is also very exciting. And the drawn vocals are just the right touch. Whiffs of Chavez here. I'm torn between liking the steady throb off this and wanting it to do a Black Sabbath power riff, played like on the 12th fret low E or something, change. This would be a good candidate to swell up into total cacophony and slam shut.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by furrypedro »

bambamoozle wrote:The members of WSA don't get my music and I don't get yours either.
bambamoozle wrote:Now, here’s a WSA song I like.
I think it's probably me and you that don't mesh musically. This is the one WSA song I've not touched.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

bambamoozle wrote: BLT – Great beat, great vocals. Only suggestion is to lose the “cum” line, it’s just not needed. I didn’t really hear cacophony, but I liked this song quite a bit. Change that one line and I’d let my kids listen to it. On the edge due to the cacophony issue.
This song isn't for kids, and I would never lose the cum line. That's my freedom of expression, Hitler. :mrgreen:
edit: oops, I meant to say thanks for liking the rocketry. I liked yours this week too. Reviews forthcoming. ;)

And there is cacophony throughout the entire song. In order:
1. The intro background sounds I created with time warp
2. The squalling hawk sound at the break into the first verse. My idea of what death sounds like when he/she comes to crosses you over. (two sounds to create that sound. It's not a hawk)
3. The aggressive open hat on the mellow verse lines. I would normally use a tight closed there. (this is subjective)
4. The annoying sound at the end of the first and second bridge. (again, death)
5. The skipping record at the end. It goes with my chorus. As in, "it's all over". With a double meaning. I have died and/or I'm booted from Nur Ein. "No one will miss me when I'm gone". :wink:

Also, it bugs me that the challenge seems to be the primary judging of Nur Ein. Not necessarily by the judges, but the contestants. Nur Ein should also be about a good song that could be sold by a record company, not just some banged out crap with an overdose of challenge to win.

My favorite songs this round are the ones with cacophony that interweaves with the song. Not just cacophony tacked all over the song to get the majority vote or set the curve as high as possible. Because let's face it, it's easy to glue annoying sounds to your song, but it's another thing entirely to make a good song with those annoying sounds with a purpose for the song other than challenge juice.

And no, I'm not mad. I'm just serious, lol. :D
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

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Billy's Little Trip wrote: I'm just serious.
Who are you, really? And what have you done with Billy??
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

roymond wrote:
Billy's Little Trip wrote: I'm just serious.
Who are you, really? And what have you done with Billy??
This is WAR NUR EIN! No time for games, son! You mess around and you might lose an eye or a toe! HooRah!

NUR EIN!!!!!!
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

Billy's Little Trip wrote:And there is cacophony throughout the entire song. In order:
You forgot the off-tune singing. Oh snap! :) Other than that, this is pretty cool. Reviews forthcoming.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by frankie big face »

Paco Del Stinko wrote: FBF - I kind of hope it's hard for you to write, as it always appears effortless when listening.
That is one of the nicest comments I have ever received. To answer your question, it is hard for me to write--lyrics especially. I use a rhyming dictionary and frequently a thesaurus. With this song, I had nothing until Saturday and then I wrote it in about three hours. And then I fought with my recording equipment all weekend.
Paco Del Stinko wrote:Similar to DJ Den, might the cacophony be deemed "just" dissonace? Regardless, it works well.
Well.....I guess it depends how you define cacophony. According to Merriam-Webster online, cacophony is dissonance:

ca·coph·o·ny
noun \ka-ˈkä-fə-nē, -ˈkȯ- also -ˈka-\
: harsh or discordant sound : dissonance 2; specifically : harshness in the sound of words or phrases


Dictionary.com has a specific musical definition:

ca·coph·o·ny
   [kuh-kof-uh-nee] Show IPA
–noun, plural -nies.
1.harsh discordance of sound; dissonance: a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails.
2.a discordant and meaningless mixture of sounds: the cacophony produced by city traffic at midday.
3.Music . frequent use of discords of a harshness and relationship difficult to understand.


I think most people would consider tone clusters pounded out on a piano to be cacophonic. I thought adding the strings from the inside the piano would be enough to convince the unconvinced, but who knows? I'm glad you think the overall effect works. Thanks for the review.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by bambamoozle »

furrypedro wrote:
I think it's probably me and you that don't mesh musically. This is the one WSA song I've not touched.
HA! I'll have to research that one when I get the chance.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by bambamoozle »

frankie big face wrote:
I think most people would consider tone clusters pounded out on a piano to be cacophonic.
I thought your cacophony was very clear, and that DJ's was not. Quite different.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by bambamoozle »

Billy's Little Trip wrote: This song isn't for kids, and I would never lose the cum line.
Well then you're leaving potential 11-year old and 7-year old fans on the sidelines. I must do my parental duty!
Billy's Little Trip wrote: Also, it bugs me that the challenge seems to be the primary judging of Nur Ein. Not necessarily by the judges, but the contestants.
I think that the meeting or not of the challenge is as important as writing something that matches the title. Otherwise it would just be a "write a song" contest. It's still up to each judge to decide how they feel about each song, all things considered, including titles and challenges.
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Re: Nur Ein VI: Round Four

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

BLT - Yeah, I'm not sure how much your cacophony counts, aside from some atonal vocals. Your chorus is *awesome* but your guitar tone continues to puss out. Nice lyrics and riffage but whhheeere is the guitar beef? I want to hear guitar tone that matches your kickass bass tone. Then again, I like my guitar sounding like sludgy mud and maybe you like it sounding like sludgy cum?

Bran - Definite cacophony. I don't much like the vocal effect, but you nailed the challenge. The guitar riff at the beginning is pretty enjoyable. Now, the greater challenge is making it enjoyable to listen to with the cacophony - not sure it's there.

DJ - Good subtle disharmony. Although, it it makes it sound like you're singing off-key rather than making noise on purpose. Despite being 3/4-ish, I'm not a big fan of this 'soul' vocal styling. It'll probably grow on me a little.

Frankie - This is nice. Good work. I like the story. I take it the cacophony is this obnoxious thing in the background. Awww, what a sweet ending. Song ranks toward the top of the pack; challenge in the middle somewhere.

John - Oooh, you should do a lounge song sometime - your voice seems suited. Cacophony is nice touch since it ties into the story. Your background tracks kind of sound like singing frogs. Imagine it for a second - frogs with top hats, dancing to this. Ok. Good work!

Merisan - This reminds me of one of those songs they use on those hipster commercials (Apple? Target? Other?), so I am immediately angry and full of rage. In fact, there's a song I have in mind that I don't know the name of that immediately comes to mind, so you aren't winning points with originality. Anyway, great performance as usual. The slide guitar is a sweet touch. Vocals kind of quiet toward the end. Dubious cacophony-wise.

Paco - Nice tasteful use of the trains. Will they come back? Your guitar work is amazing and just right with the subtlety. I just realized the trains are chugging at the pre-chorus? Nice! And the trains came back, yay! One of my favs. lol I just realized the lyrics are about an anthropomorphized train? Oh Paco Paco Paco.

Ross - Sweet bass line, although IMO the song relies on it a little too much. You've definitely stepped up your game the last two rounds. Cacophony worked in nicely - reminds me a bit of a song from a David Lynch movie. I think the vocal performance could be a little more compelling, but everything was done very well. Something completely random: would like a different snare tone.

Wreckdom - Husky? Husky. Husky? Husky. I'll take a large pack of husky then. You are the King of Cacophony. The Master of Musical Mayhem. This is awesome and awesomely cacophonous.

WSA - Anytime a song starts like this, I yawn and roll my eyes, and sometimes go into a murderous rage to sleep. Really though - it's nice after the intro. Sounds like a Melvin song and I like Melvin songs, although it does feel a little template-y. I can even recognize Melvin's standard guitar tone in here. The end of the song falling apart is nice cacophony, although a little repetitive. Cute kids.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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