Nur Ein VII Round One "Architect"
- RangerDenni
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Ross.
greetings and congratulations.
in my first chorus, I repeated my chorus melody exactly - starting from its entrance on the second bar (or, 2nd half of a long phrase). I wanted to make sure I got the Swingy see-saw back and forth motion of the switching from antecedent to consequent of the phrase...but may have done the task too well by using language too similar in both the A bits of the chorus. It sounds as though the same thing is happening twice, really. I wanted to avoid lyrical confusion, as Lunkhead had said in the last round something about me using a lot of lyrics and he's right; often Chris wishes I'd write simple hooky choruses in Psychotics rather than my novelettes. as a matter of fact much of the critique of Me has been rather helpful. I've just been busy with Sick Cat or I'd say more about everyone else's good work too
Anyway, In other places in this tune; there are small variations on the idea of a round and incomplete statements of such; as well as some things in the verses which nod at the concept of motivic restatement in various compositional form (tho in other form, admittedly, not just in round!). This may make it sound like I'm taking other half ass stabs at it, especially if the first whole statement didn't stick.
I really did want to make sure I row-row boated at least one bit to provide Thouroughness, however. So it was done with intention as I have learned and understood it.
greetings and congratulations.
in my first chorus, I repeated my chorus melody exactly - starting from its entrance on the second bar (or, 2nd half of a long phrase). I wanted to make sure I got the Swingy see-saw back and forth motion of the switching from antecedent to consequent of the phrase...but may have done the task too well by using language too similar in both the A bits of the chorus. It sounds as though the same thing is happening twice, really. I wanted to avoid lyrical confusion, as Lunkhead had said in the last round something about me using a lot of lyrics and he's right; often Chris wishes I'd write simple hooky choruses in Psychotics rather than my novelettes. as a matter of fact much of the critique of Me has been rather helpful. I've just been busy with Sick Cat or I'd say more about everyone else's good work too
Anyway, In other places in this tune; there are small variations on the idea of a round and incomplete statements of such; as well as some things in the verses which nod at the concept of motivic restatement in various compositional form (tho in other form, admittedly, not just in round!). This may make it sound like I'm taking other half ass stabs at it, especially if the first whole statement didn't stick.
I really did want to make sure I row-row boated at least one bit to provide Thouroughness, however. So it was done with intention as I have learned and understood it.
"Really interesting how the point you’re making slowly emerges like Martin Sheen from the mud in Apocalypse Now..." ~j$
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Sign of a good song - when the listener thinks it has been written especially for them.j$ wrote: GJ - is this written for *me*? Well, I love it.
Not sure why you think that - whether it is your love of hard core pornography, whether it is because you are an Australian Public Servant or whether you could tell I was trying to re-write Kraftwerk's Autobahn.
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
2 out of 3 ain't bad, as Australian Meatloaf once sang
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
I certainly wrote it with politics in mind. Our right wing party, which is currently in power, is bent on "bringing down the walls" and turning New Zealand into just another country that bows to America and China for no real reason. This strikes me as particularly odd because they happen to be called "National".j$ wrote:Gooey - I really like the chord sequence. I read the words before hearing the song, and I took an anti-democratic interpretation from it (probably wrong, all I can say if so is - maybe you want to consider the danger of how your abstract message comes across to idiots like me) - This is a massivley catchy song that doesn't outstay its welcome, but my own prejudice / interpretation is stopping me putting it top. That's likely my problem.
I think once a song is in the hands of the listeners, it should mean to them what it means to them, though. I don't think it's important to try to shield the song from unofficial interpretations. Thanks for the review!
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Cool - I kind of assumed it was my stupidity. I personally think the only time it's important to make people understand your point is when it matters to you (political or otherwise - where being vague is a defense rather than a bonus point ) but I managed not to let it influence my scoring. Yeah,me, right?
j$
j$
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Thanks J$- though as you can see, I didn't make it. My background is in musical theater, and I also love children's songs, folk songs and Christian music. If you want to hear what I sound like with a really GOOD partner (who sadly hates deadlines...) here is a link to my Bandcamp page. http://menageatune.bandcamp.com/track/fractal-choices
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
First of all, thanks for the kind words on the song.j$ wrote:WAIL (and before the final scores were totted
BYD - Apart from the "haha! Rude words! isn't being gay funny?" embarrassment, I actually like this weird clash of electro & Jazz. I do feel like I got into hot tub time machine. That's not a bad singing voice, and I like the variety on last time out. But at heart I am struggling with the pointless use of the word "gay". Maybe that's because I am.
You're absolutely right about the "gay" usage. It was a bad rhyme/joke (the joke being that the guy is so desperate to hook up with this woman that he wants to assure her he's TOTALLY available and into her...basically horrible at flirting.)
Homophobia is despicable in all forms and I truly apologize. As Spinal Tap says, "there's a fine line between clever and stupid". Or offensive.
I get the idea you donn't apologize for much in Nur Ein, but this is a notable exception. Thank you again for the cpmments and your thoughtfulness.
- glennny
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Wreckdom wrote:
Worldly Self Assurance
Wreckdom
WSA
so it depends on how you call us.
and you are crazy, in a writing weird interesting music kind of way
I will alphabetize 3 bands for you:I'm not crazy am I? We should actually be last in alphabetical order?
Worldly Self Assurance
Wreckdom
WSA
so it depends on how you call us.
and you are crazy, in a writing weird interesting music kind of way
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
I have to say, this is mighty big and right proper of you. People can put on big airs and snarl when you call them on crap, and it's quite refreshing to see someone acknowledge and sincerely apologize.Alvis wrote:I get the idea you donn't apologize for much in Nur Ein, but this is a notable exception.
*Hands BYD a Special Commendation for Good Sportsmanship*
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
j$: Yup. Don't do whole step neighboring notes as a round is what I take away from this.
Geoff: "Sometimes you eat the b'ar, and sometimes the b'ar eats you."
Geoff: "Sometimes you eat the b'ar, and sometimes the b'ar eats you."
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
So, your song is about my mate here?supremeedible wrote:I certainly wrote it with politics in mind. Our right wing party, which is currently in power, is bent on "bringing down the walls" and turning New Zealand into just another country that bows to America and China for no real reason. This strikes me as particularly odd because they happen to be called "National".j$ wrote:Gooey - I really like the chord sequence. I read the words before hearing the song, and I took an anti-democratic interpretation from it (probably wrong, all I can say if so is - maybe you want to consider the danger of how your abstract message comes across to idiots like me) - This is a massivley catchy song that doesn't outstay its welcome, but my own prejudice / interpretation is stopping me putting it top. That's likely my problem.
I think once a song is in the hands of the listeners, it should mean to them what it means to them, though. I don't think it's important to try to shield the song from unofficial interpretations. Thanks for the review!
- roymond
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
"Any more chromaticism and you'll have to change your last name to Wagner!" - Frankie Big Face
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Am I insane or am I the only one who heard the hidden message in BGM's song at the end? Something to the effect of "it's our fate you're sealing." Roy's review makes me thing people may have missed the coolest thing about the song.
- bgm
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Ding ding ding!frankie big face wrote:Am I insane or am I the only one who heard the hidden message in BGM's song at the end? Something to the effect of "it's our fate you're sealing."
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
I certainly didn't miss it. BGM was the top of my list specifically because of it. And I know irwin didn't miss it either, because we were talking about it in the IRC room last night.frankie big face wrote:Am I insane or am I the only one who heard the hidden message in BGM's song at the end? Something to the effect of "it's our fate you're sealing." Roy's review makes me thing people may have missed the coolest thing about the song.
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Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
So uh, I wasn't expecting my song to do as well as it did. So thanks, particularly judges, for the constructive and positive feedback. It's encouraging, and maybe I'll revisit this one later to bring it up to my own standards.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.
Nur Ein Archives | The New Ugly Podcast
Nur Ein Archives | The New Ugly Podcast
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Yeah, that was very cool, dude. I was impressed.bgm wrote:Ding ding ding!frankie big face wrote:Am I insane or am I the only one who heard the hidden message in BGM's song at the end? Something to the effect of "it's our fate you're sealing."
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
I had to go back and figure out where we were homophobic. Yeah, the intent wasn't to slam gay people, but show how awkward the guy is in picking up a girl. If you read into it that way, That wasn't the angle we were headed down.Alvis wrote:First of all, thanks for the kind words on the song.j$ wrote:WAIL (and before the final scores were totted
BYD - Apart from the "haha! Rude words! isn't being gay funny?" embarrassment, I actually like this weird clash of electro & Jazz. I do feel like I got into hot tub time machine. That's not a bad singing voice, and I like the variety on last time out. But at heart I am struggling with the pointless use of the word "gay". Maybe that's because I am.
You're absolutely right about the "gay" usage. It was a bad rhyme/joke (the joke being that the guy is so desperate to hook up with this woman that he wants to assure her he's TOTALLY available and into her...basically horrible at flirting.)
Homophobia is despicable in all forms and I truly apologize. As Spinal Tap says, "there's a fine line between clever and stupid". Or offensive.
Granted, I'd say we lose a few points for rhyming anything with 'gay' since it was a little to on the nose for the obvious rhyme to I.M. Pei. Hindsight is a cruel bitch some days.
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
SoM?j$ wrote:Sausage - I can't quite nail the 80's reference I want to make - which is a compliment. Maybe an under-arranged very late period SoM.
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
I'm going to assume he means Sisters of Mercy, but he could mean Sound of Music. You never know with the English.EvelBist wrote:SoM?j$ wrote:Sausage - I can't quite nail the 80's reference I want to make - which is a compliment. Maybe an under-arranged very late period SoM.
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
if he did mean them, i just listened to 'black planet'. i'm stunned, the lyrics are about the southern cal coast. thats just where i was centering this week's songfight entry "fat man". how coinkidink.frankie big face wrote:I'm going to assume he means Sisters of Mercy, but he could mean Sound of Music. You never know with the English.EvelBist wrote:SoM?j$ wrote:Sausage - I can't quite nail the 80's reference I want to make - which is a compliment. Maybe an under-arranged very late period SoM.
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Re: Nur Ein VII: Round One
Roymond- thanks for the review. I don't really understand most of it though. "This is academic and dangerously liturgical, but
not a parody. That confuses me."
Academic? I was going for traditional round- I have been into historical recreation with the SCA for years, so that is what I think of- rounds such as Rose; Hey, Ho, nobodies home, My lady and her maid, the quadratic formula...ok that last one would be academic I guess. And "dangerously liturgical, but not a parody"? What is so dangerous about liturgical songs? Why would you expect it to be a parody if it WAS a liturgical song? Or are "straight" liturgical/Christian songs not generally ever done around here? Of course, I have eclectic tastes in music- my iPod includes about 50 medieval musical styles including gregorian chants from a class I took in college on the subject. Very calming to listen to when stuck in traffic.
Still trying to understand the roache girl reference, guess I better go google it.
Thanks!
not a parody. That confuses me."
Academic? I was going for traditional round- I have been into historical recreation with the SCA for years, so that is what I think of- rounds such as Rose; Hey, Ho, nobodies home, My lady and her maid, the quadratic formula...ok that last one would be academic I guess. And "dangerously liturgical, but not a parody"? What is so dangerous about liturgical songs? Why would you expect it to be a parody if it WAS a liturgical song? Or are "straight" liturgical/Christian songs not generally ever done around here? Of course, I have eclectic tastes in music- my iPod includes about 50 medieval musical styles including gregorian chants from a class I took in college on the subject. Very calming to listen to when stuck in traffic.
Still trying to understand the roache girl reference, guess I better go google it.
Thanks!