Nur Ein VII Round Two "The Best Place In Town Is Also The Darkest"

[frankie big face]

Who's angry? I'm not angry.

[j$]

I'm always angry. It saves time, in the long run.

[Lunkhead]

If you guys want fair/rational judging, get robots. If you want arbitrary judging based on a variety of relevant and irrelevant factors, get people. Even better is when you "average" out the arbitrary rankings of five randomly selected people who come from a group that has a strong selection bias toward people with very unusual and unpredictable tastes. As (half) a judge I thought my rankings were fair, but seriously, I was probably just kidding myself. The rankings may determine your performance in the contest but they're still only whatever a handful of people felt when they listened to your song at a certain point in their days/lives/etc.

Also, I just listened to BSS's "We Need to Talk" and I totally don't understand how that song didn't win Round 5 two years ago. WTF?!!

[Jefff]

You mean a robot didn't generate this color-coded mindmap?

Guys, I am so embarrassed.

[RangerDenni]

something NEW to get angry about.
MORE arbitrary reviews that are squishy as well with silliness and lots of candied bits and sticksy places! Whee!
Um... I'll just get to it. If I spilt any sarcasm on here or hurt any feelings I'm real sorry. Also these are the longest reviews in the history of TIME...
[WHAT THE HELL, Smily limit ... WHAT THE HELL!!!!!???!?!?! ]

ADAM ADAMANT
your percussion rubbed me the wrong way until the bottle-y sounds came in and then it really suited this. your stops ... hmm. they went well but were a little awkward-turtle; athough they did make me want do do silly dance moves. I am more charmed by your voice with successive listens. In fact, I have said before that I'm a sucker for (what *I* think is) an accent and even go unfairly bias-ed toward it. Some hiss to your track and it could be cleaned up a little. Thought about it a bit and on reflection I think that perhaps your vocal styling would be very distinctive no matter where you were from. I like the line about kissing at night being the best DAY of your life, then the squirmy-wormy synthy bit (which is so over the top!) comes in. This could be shorter and layered up more gradually and mixed more ruthlessly because you have nifty ingredients. I think your bass does you heaps of good.

ADD
Your melody is engaging and sort of Cute-Nintendo-Detectiv-esque. It did take me a bit to get into your groove - the intro didn't prepare me for the rhythm of it. I want your vocal to float a little more over things but this is really hooking and I like your vibrato and harmonies. Also the mode that you chose fit the electronica direction you decided to go in, even thought your entrances were a little SHOCK! Enjoyed the guitar, although the lick got a little repetitious. This was swishy and slick. Different and did not sound like everybody else. I do like this quite awfully well. The "don't ask me" at 3:16 was sung so well and made me just FALL IN LOVE with your vocal! It pulled me into the lyrics; so that the sharp knife keeping you honest and slipping the knot when they look away grabbed me. Great content. Hook that puts you in the lyrics is great.

BGM
You are so very proficient and such a good example. A gold standard of "doing it right, and probably in your sleep." Something to aspire to, particularly your non-busy build-ups in which everything has its place and nothing is wasted. Sometimes I don't agree with your instrument choices but the way you place them and the places where they enter always make cases for themselves. I'm getting used to your vocal sound and it's getting very familiar - if you have the same A-game in all of the rounds I wonder if people will love you forever and ever and ever or expect you to top things that can't be topped. Your little chord progression on "keeping away from the sun" is just charming. Your "eh-eh / eh-eh" guitar does grate a bit. I want to complain about some of your drums but they fit with your layering as I said - it is a matter of personal taste and the mix wins. Oh, listen ... adorable glockenspiel. Am a sucker for mallets. Another win well deserved.

BOFFO YUX DUDES
I think that you have grown up tremendously in this form as musicians doing this sort of thing even though you are seasoned as an ensemble already. I can say from being here since Fu-times that all this competing has been good for us I think and in this instance I am VERY sorry to see you go because you have become a real Institution, albeit one for the criminally insane
This is pretty cute, if a trifle over baked. I miss the brain wall, but the Voldemort line was a classic. Cannot tell if the MULTITUDE of chime ins are a part of your style and should stay forever or if you might ought to rethink that. One of the things about you guys is that you will often bring in an instrument that sounds so rich and full that I want to steal it. So NICE ORGAN!* Good production and you just get better and better! Go team!
#twss

THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS
the vibe is swingy which always makes me smily. in my headphones you are kind of bouncing back and forth and you are singing in a mode I am not quite sure I'm buying into. your voice grew on me by the end and I think this is kind of an interesting little jaunt. very distinctive vocal which grows upon you the more it sits in the ear. your guitar also sounds really rich and full if it would just hold still a little bit. nice and hooky but ends real abruptly. I cannot figure you out stylistically but I think I like you and I always look forward to the next thing you are going to astonish and amaze us all with. [later: your review is really redundant, but your voice was very distinctive so I noticed it twice, okay!?!]

CHRIS COGOTT
this is not the sound that I am used to from you. it's nice to hear your sweetness, a different sort of risk that pays off without a diminishing of skills. Can't argue with production - using it your vocal shows a vulnerability that doesn't fall into shaky-land and becomes the strength of the song. You're dangerous with the Cogott harmonies. I think this is kind of an important song for you and could grow even better when you do what you know needs doing with more production; and I'll reveal a bit and say on a personal note I feel it's a good representation of your tenacity and staying power .. and the new directions that you are exploring. I think it's good for your versatility as well. I think with the same application of production that you could sell this just as much as you do your strong and big right-out-of-the-gate stuff. Also since I know a bit about this tune I shall say that your at-the-last-second puts MY at-the-last-second to SHAME... {cheezy winning smileeeeee}

Dj Ranger Den (a self assesment)
1. Dear Self, learn to master! yes, I realize this is last minute apology mastering.
2. i sound like a lounge singer. nonetheless, I do like my vocal and I think I've been hitting it where I need to go.
3. this is not a good mix and that's because I didn't have time to make everything neat and tidy. Excuses, excuses.
4. I need to Stop being allergic to writing something normal and catchy.
5. Nonetheless, I am starting to like this song's shortness and am pleased that I have not found it necessary to showboat around time-wise as I have done in previous competitions (this also goes for lyrics). I think it's kind of fresh and impudent. Maybe even a little sassy. The stops need to be cleaner for me to pull that off though. And the instruments REALLY spot on and flawlessly executed. This may just be an excuse and I should finish the frickkin song.
This is NOT flawlessly executed. No more messing about. This is my last bit of oddness I get to do. The nice reviews were generous but you did not fool Roymond and a couple others now did you.....

FRANKIE BIG FACE
Risky entry, into Seriously Sexy vamp with interesting time changes. The catacombs line was great and your sounds well chosen. The strings were devastating. Hit me in all the Zeppelin places without really even being similar enough to say "sounds like" them. Unique enough to be You. We could argue mix things and specifics of effects choices including amounts of application; but I might be wrong. I am a target audience for the squishy vocal in the hot-steamy-box trick (maybe I would be a better engineer if I remembered the names of things!) Also, I'm in hearphones. This may go into what I think of when I think FBF. I think that you are probably a visionary of some kind. Wowza! {smily which was stolen by Mean Smily Police}

GENEVIEVE JOHNSON AND THE CHIEFS
I'm going to be singing this ALL FRICKKIN' WEEK, dammit. C A T C H Y !!! I'm sure there's probably something to criticize in this but it's SO DAMN ADORABLE I want to kiss it to pieces AAGAAGHGHGHGHG... I thought it might be getting old and started typing something about your oft-repeated phrase but then you sang the line about your "staaasssshh!" and I actually went "AAAAWWWWWWH!" Perhaps I wear too much pink or long to sneak through these places stealing things. Yes, you have Unfair Accent Advantage, but whatever.
The back-up vox could have been louder. This song is absolutely coverable. For me you out cute the sheer power of bgm and the silken caress of Merisan, and even the guitar power heros making magic in their labs do not touch your win. Can you continue to stick it?

GOOEY CARAMEL CENTAUR
your voice is really interesting and i like it. it's not fitting in the mix for me in the same way mine doesn't fit in my mixes sometimes (only mine doesn't fit more than yours doesn't when I have that problem if that makes sense). I only hear this because I'm obsessing about this topic. Song seems like it fits a formula: I'm thinking that it sounds Odd, yet is Shaped Like A Hit Song. The stops don't do it favors - I find myself wanting momentum. The key change seemed awkward a bit. The lyrics were really endearing and they resonated with me. I like the line about the angels and their broken wings. The hook got a bit samey for me after a while, but I have showed up in scientific experiments as having been doused in Hook Repellant so perhaps grain of salt that - as well as anything else I said here which you feel is silly. You ARE terribly interesting {The Mean Smily Authorities Stole Your Emoticon}

JON ERIC
This is quite a production. There's so many elements into a big sound sandwich and things seemed a little out of control. I think this was probably a confusion to the listener with so many musical contexts there; and the ear had to do too much organization. Care needs to be taken, particularly since you are really good in a rap-style but you need to frame that well in order to sell it and it's easy to be over-eager when a more casual approach would do better for you. You featured your back-up singer as well as you could. Using him again would be a good idea. If I were to offer any advice it would be to place him within a proven strength which is your very consistent piano playing or the strong guitar in a simpler folkier style you have recently shown some mastery in. I can tell you from hearing your FAWM and from the time I sat in on your simply put and beautiful 'It Always Gets Better' tune that you can hook it strongly and perhaps the lesson here should be that sometimes less could be more. A noble ambition.

MANHATTAN GLUTTON
You are being a little genius-goblin there, in your lab; always knocking it out of the park with these new concoctions. This kinda rocks, sir! Oh, XYLOPHONE!!!!!! Mallets really make me so very happy! Also, your use of stops was really clever. This came across as really laid back and I always like your approach and what you have to say with your writing so good lyrics there. Tight and well written with clever turns of phrase. I like that you put emphasis on words in a unique way and fit them into lines in ways that I associate with You; with your emPHAsis on the wrong sylAHble. You turned my meters red. Was this planned and is that ever okay even if you are going for an effect and asking your audience to turn it down? Hmm. You did get me thinking. You've been strong right out of the gate in this thing, I feel.

MERISAN
Practically Perfect. and Gorgeous. Music to seduce to. This is set up perfectly and is really delightful because of the high level of class that I hear. I love to hear Erin's beautiful vocal which sounds like it just was poured into a wineglass. The delivery of well chosen vocals is delicious and I wanted to eat this song out of the air with a Really Expensive Fork from a Luxurious Hotel. Is that a real accordion? The fact that I don't know is shocking and I'm ashamed of myself!! I wouldn't notice it if a brick sailed through this mix normally, but it was a shaky egg so I did notice that and I'm real picky about the Eggy and hardly ever like it unless its presence is NOT noticed because in my opinion it should just make texture. I am not ashamed to say this made me feel ten years younger but still as Sensually Oriented as a lady in her thirties is meant to feel. Bravo.

OYSTERCATCHER
As ashamed as I am to admit this, right out of the gate I'm thinking of Mötley Crüe's 'She Goes Down;' with the zip-slip, so the juxtaposition of subject matter has me aswirl. Your mix is good, your vocal is epic, your arrangement is busy and builds nicely to chaos. The harmonies are open-ly stacked and I like to hear this high register melodic work soar against a driving guitar anyway - it seemed evocative of SOAD but I didn't launch right into the comparison so it must not have been too terribly derivative. Your Aggressive Whispery Bits are dramatic and cool. I don't like to try to go at reviewing something that drives this hard because, as you know, I don't bring rock without a bit of assistance. I can't really smell mix/mastery mistakes so I'm going to call this a score until I learn otherwise. To my ears it is a Good Show. {ACK! No Smiley here for YOU}
I'm not even going to inquire as to the authenticity of your sample.

ROSS DURAND
I think this is charming and theatrical. It's just weird. I love weird and wish the world set clocks by it. These are the types of stops that I didn't have time to achieve and the drama that I didn't pull off in my orchestration. I always enjoy your stories. You are all growly and steamy and cool and detective show sounding so that's done. {Schmarmy Smile with Hand-on-tha-Hip} Your edges are pretty rough but I think that this brings charm and quite frankly there is a lot of polish and glam around here and you have an original sound which can always be relied upon. I wanted something lower with more substance to come in and cradle your vocal a little bit - I don't think the bass parts of your mix supported your vocal sound adequately enough because you have so much of that depth. The neat entry of the horn distracted me from this. Stylistically evocative of many different things without being confusing. Neat and out-of-the-box, and yet still very Ross Durand.

SAUSAGE
Your drumming is hectic to me. This is very noisy. I sound like somebody's grandmother, not the cool one who rides the motorcycle. I've always liked your vocals. I would like to go hear this live, actually it seems like that kind of band. This was short enough to grab me. It seems like a song you'd drink and play pool to at a bar. Your vocal seems casual, like you are pulling this off without enough rock-n-roll angst. You are not very screamy - not enough to match that skroinchy tone and boom-boom percussion; and you could probably shred your vocals a bit more if you are going to carry on in this manner. You have a very strong rock vocal I feel. I like the note that you enter in on in these licks and how you pull back off of it into the rest of the phrase; it's impudent and ballsy and I associate these configurations of sound with you - kind of like a sonic strut I suppose. While I am nitpicking these things I am not noticing content or whether or not the stops are occuring. This is both good and bad. I always hear a Sausage tune and think "I shall listen to more Sausage." I'm pretty bummed you didn't get through. {Earnest Frown of Con-stern-ation}

SNAPPY + FLOYD
I'm laughing at this a little more because these lyrics are more clever than your previous ones. Pedantry-ness? You sound like you are having fun.You need a different effect on your rap vocal. Why don't you do that when your intro bits were so well done? I had high hopes for this at the beginning. I really think that if your tunes were shorter with more structure and less bluster you could have more holding power. Also more variety, entrances of little things behind you to illustrate the point of what you are saying in the text and to throw variety into the mix. There's a few things and the stops of course, but not enough and not nearly enough subtlety. Just a vocal droning on in the same register which is not really very conversational at any time gets boring and both rhythmic and sonic variation is what makes things flow along in ALL types of music. This is a lesson for EVERYONE though who has a song that gets clicked NEXT on, including me. At least your levels are audible. {Conspiratorial Grin}

WRECKDOM
Nice Shuffle!! The little "boiing!" and the "I'll race you to pinkeye" line is hilarical. This chorus is really clever and you guys are really full of moxie and great presentation. It's hard to critique the boxiness of the lyrics because of this sharp wordplay (the "devil may care!" {Goofy-assed-grin} ) and infractions of flow get a free pass when the subject matter and theme of the thing encourages a swingy-singsongy-ness containing a lyrical plod-along. Basically, your flow could be better but why would it? Anything that can be criticized comes across as dirty and low-fi and I want MORE of the gal vocal and a gaunchy effect on her that makes her match dude. Stops showed off your depravity. It's my own fault I haven't seen any of your personnel live but this sounds like a ton of fun. It actually sounds like great care was taken to sound like hundreds of thousands of dollars less than a million bucks, and yet like you pulled it off effortlessly (what?!?!).

THE WORLDLY SELF ASSURANCE
this is quite a display of several bits of Extreme Musicality that is difficult to dance to. I want to criticize the tuning of your vocals perhaps, but I bet you could analyze the chords that you decided to pounce upon in stealth acapella mode fashion so I would be outnumbered. You guys can really work a puzzle and this is terribly interesting. You are all really formidable musicians and will Steely Dan the hell out of us all I am afraid. Oh dear! What happened at 2:40?! What the hell are you guys doing? Why am I not allowed to do whatever I want in this contest when you guys get to do whatever you want?! Sheesh! No, seriously...I actually really liked that. Perhaps I am just jealous because I do not have a band now at my beck and call and when I do I am made to follow Rules. This review has fallen apart, unlike your song, which totally SHOULD have fallen apart ... but didn't because despite your shenanigans you have a really tight sense of ensemble and chemistry and a certain enigmatic-ness in your lyric choices which get delivered with a kind of endearing eye-twinkle. {Smiled WAY too much in here, with like, SO much subtlety}

[j$]

Dear Ranger Den, yes, you're quite right, they are.

Also, for everyone, with no reference to the reviews just posted - do you *know* what time it is in the UK? Keep writing good songs, shut the fuck up. It's enough

[RangerDenni]

Dear Ranger Den, yes, you're quite right, they are.

Also, for everyone, with no reference to the reviews just posted - do you *know* what time it is in the UK? Keep writing good songs, shut the fuck up. It's enough

It just wouldn't be a Nur Ein for me if I didn't lob some kooky onto the boards at least once!
(three more smilys. because as you know, we only get the four!)

[roymond]

Also, I just listened to BSS's "We Need to Talk" and I totally don't understand how that song didn't win Round 5 two years ago. WTF?!!

Clearly we need to clarify the by-laws and specifically the relevant statute of limitations.

[Caravan Ray]

Who's angry? I'm not angry.

It is round 3. Time to start getting angry.


NUR EIN!!!

[Ross]

Shut up, C Ray, you're pissin' me off!

Nur Ein!!!

[Caravan Ray]

That is good Grasshopper.

When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.

[Ross]

Is that what you have in your hand? Looked as small as a pebble to me, too.

[Manhattan Glutton]

I think part of what makes this competition unique is the psychological angle. The judges are musicians, too, with strong opinions of how music ought to sound. As Frank put it last year, you can't make a song that's too good because one of the judges will inevitably find it repulsive, causing the stats to be thrown off. At least, in the beginning rounds. Later on, low rankings aren't as heavy-handed. I find it hard to believe that some of the complainers here have already been around the block once or twice - short term memory, or just tradition?

[Alvis]

BOFFO YUX DUDES
I think that you have grown up tremendously in this form as musicians doing this sort of thing even though you are seasoned as an ensemble already. I can say from being here since Fu-times that all this competing has been good for us I think and in this instance I am VERY sorry to see you go because you have become a real Institution, albeit one for the criminally insane
This is pretty cute, if a trifle over baked. I miss the brain wall, but the Voldemort line was a classic. Cannot tell if the MULTITUDE of chime ins are a part of your style and should stay forever or if you might ought to rethink that. One of the things about you guys is that you will often bring in an instrument that sounds so rich and full that I want to steal it. So NICE ORGAN!* Good production and you just get better and better! Go team!
#twss

Denni, right back atcha. It's been a pleasure to compete with you in various forums and to hear you grow in your songwriting, performance and production skills as well. I want to single you out because whereas we've gotten a lot of constructive feedback from all who have taken the time to post reviews (and well as a healthy mix of nice words and snark), you seem to "get" us the most (that worries me a bit, but your offbeatness seems very benign, not as malignant as ours). You've always been thoughtful and supportive, not just to us but to most contestants we seem to interact with. Dammit, you seem like a good person! There, I said it.

Oh, shit, I forgot, this is Nur Ein...I'm supposed to be edgy and snarky and shit. Uh, so, you all suck, and anyone who said anything bad about us, I'm going to personally come over and crap on your toast. (Whew, that was close...)

N'urine!!

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Oh, shit, I forgot, this is Nur Ein...I'm supposed to be edgy and snarky and shit. Uh, so, you all suck, and anyone who said anything bad about us, I'm going to personally come over and crap on your toast. (Whew, that was close...)

N'urine!!

Make sure to eat some sort of tropical fruit first, at least something that'd go well with mango butter

[Jefff]

I find it hard to believe that some of the complainers here have already been around the block once or twice

I was songfighting when you were sucking your mother's dick.

Sorry! Wine again!

[RangerDenni]

Oh, shit, I forgot, this is Nur Ein...I'm supposed to be edgy and snarky and shit. Uh, so, you all suck, and anyone who said anything bad about us, I'm going to personally come over and crap on your toast. (Whew, that was close...)

N'urine!!

Make sure to eat some sort of tropical fruit first, at least something that'd go well with mango butter

I need to remember not to read these when I'm trying to go to sleep. I laughed and woke up both Mr.DJ RangerDen and Vinny the Cat.

BTW, thanks Al, thanks for all that stuff up there! they'll say this isn't Song Love, but I have a pink t-shirt I bought after successfully navigating New York and I am a congenial soul so I wear it and do tend to ride the edges of the smily limit

[Manhattan Glutton]

I was songfighting when you were sucking your mother's dick.

And that's what gives me the upper-hand!
(the years not on song fight - not the dick sucking)

[frankie big face]

@Denni - thanks for acknowledging the catacombs line. I thought that was a good one, too. Also, for your review in general.

@the rest of you - SHUT THE FUCK UP - I HATE YOU ALL. There. I said it. This is fun!

@Jefff - I love you most when you're hopped up on anger medicine (you know, the kind that makes you angry).

Fun times. Can't wait to be a judge again next year after I win this thing. Again. YEAAAHHHHH!!!!!

[Niveous]

YEAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Did anyone else hear this as the Howard Dean scream?

[frankie big face]

YEAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Did anyone else hear this as the Howard Dean scream?

Hahaha. I wish I could say that's exactly how I intended it.

[BoffoYux]

BOFFO YUX DUDES
I think that you have grown up tremendously in this form as musicians doing this sort of thing even though you are seasoned as an ensemble already. I can say from being here since Fu-times that all this competing has been good for us I think and in this instance I am VERY sorry to see you go because you have become a real Institution, albeit one for the criminally insane

Denni, right back atcha. It's been a pleasure to compete with you in various forums and to hear you grow in your songwriting, performance and production skills as well. I want to single you out because whereas we've gotten a lot of constructive feedback from all who have taken the time to post reviews (and well as a healthy mix of nice words and snark), you seem to "get" us the most (that worries me a bit, but your offbeatness seems very benign, not as malignant as ours).

Thanks for the encouraging words, DJR. I know we were hoping to make it through this round but it wasn't meant to be. The feedback is appreciated.

For those who wanted more info on our tune - we struggled with the tone, and wanted to do a true James Brown impression at first, but it just didn't feel right. So we co-oped our friend Dan in LA (You know that Ancestry.com commercial about Barbers? That's him.) into channeling a Morris Day type character - which turned into the call and response song you have before you. Al brought the funk from Chicago, and I brought the Boston straight man in as a Dealer. A different turn from our usual snark, though it took 3000 miles for the damn thing to get here. I love the F'in internet.