"Tookie had Tourette's, yo." (Cryptic Comment Reviews)

[Niveous]

Hey, if anyone can send me all the songs in a zip file, I promise to do reviews.

[GlennCase]

Check your gmail, Niv.

ROCK!

Glenn Case

[jackfrost]

Steve Durand
Why cant you get someone else to sing? You ruin your songs. :[

and someone said i was mean at some point. sheesh.

[Denyer]

95mb !! it hurts at end of month. download supply running low. Now I am review mad at you all for make download 95mb!!!! the fight is 1:17 long you could put it all on a cd but why would you. I'm going to watch a film on the telly in three hours so try not to go too long. It is a film about a muay thai fighter so I think great MUAY THAI FIGHTING MOVIE!!!!! Then I see it is about a transgender fighter and I think oh no it's about a fighter not about fighting oh well I'll watch it anyway then I see it is listed as ACTION MOVIE so hopefully lots of fighting after all!!!! Try to be done being reviewed by three hours please. I am going to record it anyway in case the fights are really good and I want to watch them again so don't feel too bad if you do go over.

Aardwolves
Before I get started reviewing songs I have to turn the light off in the other room. I was playing Mario Kart and when I came over to the computer I forgot to turn the light off. What I did was I came into the room with the computer in it, and there's not really a wall between this room and the one I was playing Mario Kart in, I turned the light on in here then I was going to go turn the other light off, which is what I always do. Then I decided that I'd go take a piss. When I got back I came through the other room and forget to turn the light off. The reason I forgot is that there's supposed to be two lights in the other room but one has recently broken and there's only one light at the back of the room and most of my activity is in the front. So there's no light in the front of the room where I expect it when I've got the light on in there, there's only light coming in from a distance which there would have been whether I'd left the light on or not because, as I said earlier, there's no wall between that room and the one I'm in now (which you'll remember I turned the light on in before I went to take a piss). I wasn't expecting a lady voice. Sorry I said piss earlier. I hope you are not offended. I like your song moderately. Your vocals sound a bit silly and I don't know if you are a girl or a boy doing a silly voice. It also sounds a bit like you just got home after running from a big scary monster and you haven't caught your breath yet but you're in a real hurry to record your song so you do it anyway. I listened to it again and it didn't sound like that so I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm not going to take that part out! I like the intro to this song and the only negative is the recording quality which doesn't really count so I'm going to vote for this but DON'T GET TOO EXCITED it won't be the only one I vote for. Something I did for fun was paste your song over my song because they're the same length. It sounded a bit crap. We did not communicate enough to make it work (your fault not mine). ***

Andre was here at midnight
This is wacky and I enjoy it very much. I don't know if it's good or bad. Some of the parts I enjoy more than others so here is how I rate them 1) vocals 2) guitar solo 3) regular guitar 4) drum 5) harmonica (did not like). If I got the parts wrong I am sorry I can not identify things well. **1/2

Boltoph
I'm going to have a snack before I review your song. I had tea only a couple of hours ago but I'm hungry and if I don't eat now I'll only do it later so I might as well do it now. I know Rone likes to eat ice cream every day but I don't have any. Also it is winter I can think of better things to eat than something with ice in its name. I'm back from the kitchen now and I've brought an apple with me to eat while I listen to your song. I don't really like songs so I don't know how to review things there's nothing wrong with. This is fine. You made a song and it's good. Thumbs up, cobber. I quite enjoyed the apple but it took longer than 4:00 to eat so please write a longer song next week. I should note that when I said I had tea earlier I was talking about the evening meal you probably know as dinner. In Australia the meals of the day are called breakfast/lunch/tea or breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on some variable I don't understand. Breakfast/lunch/tea I feel should be our official words for the meals as it combines both the widely used breakfast/lunch/dinner and now rarely used breakfast/dinner/tea systems. And now I'm going to have a cup of tea. It is flavoured tea. stupid!! but I didn't buy it so it's not my fault. Also there is tea that isn't flavoured so I should have had that instead, but that's in the cupboard and this was out in the open (easier to get). Something I did for for fun was paste my combination of mine and Aardwolves's songs over yours twice because yours is exactly twice the length of ours. It sounded really bad. I feel we were working as three individuals instead of as a team (entirely Aardwolves's fault) and that hurt it. ****

The Booty Chesterfield Trio
I'm going to vote for it. You should consider adding a cow to your band to provide back up vocals. I don't know how much a cow would cost to rent but imagine a cow helping out with the chorus!!! Not singing I know (don't be silly) just makin cow noises. It would be great. This is better than Boltoph's because Boltoph's was a bit boring. ***1/2

Caravan Ray
Choice, bro! Grab a beer out the chilly bin!!! I didn't watch the Bledisloe Cup match but it was on television here in the great city of Melbourne where no one cares about it. Sorry to hear your team lost on Saturday. Maybe you'll feel better about it if you watch Lord of the Rings. I would vote for this if I could only vote for one. Easily the best New Zealander on Song Fight! ****1/2

The Dirty Hairs
Wrong title!!!!!! I'm going to rip off your guitar and rap over it and not give you credit. It's a funny song. It sounds a lot like THIS SONG HERE your voice even sounds the same. That is a song I enjoyed before I heard your song so your song is unfairly entertaining to me and I will not vote for it! You can listen to the song I linked to for free because I bought the cd and that means I can share it with whoever I want. **1/2

Flappy Gunderson
I like to stick my weenie in things too so I can relate to this song. **

Glenn Case
This is a load of rubbish Glenn. Just kidding. ****

The Hand Formula
Five fingers, one palm, one laser.

i.p.
I've not noticed you before but it seems you like to win so I'm going to not vote for you!! You may be an i.p. but you're not a v.i.p. yet so I don't feel I have to. It is a good song though. The only part I didn't like was at 2:14 when it sounded like you wheeled your chair back a bit and went over your cat's tail. I would have left that bit out. My cat didn't like it either because he ran off as soon as he heard it. ***1/2

Jonathan Mann
I recently read the last couple of tpbs of Y: The Last Man and I felt that series really fell on its arse. I had read up to part 7 of 10 and was enjoying it very much then I stopped because books cost money and I don't like to part with money. Then over a year had past and I saw the series was over so I read the last bit and I was disappointed SPOILERS: There was no proper explanation as to why all the dudes had died. That's nice after reading the thing for years waiting to see how all the dudes fucking died!!!! They said the one guy made a clone so then everyone died. That is not acceptable to me and I can't believe that is the case. I bring this up now because for a few months between the time I read part 7 and part 8 I was trying to remember who in fiction was impregnated with their own clone. It was Allison Mann from Y: The Last Man. Your song, at one minute and 44 seconds is much shorter than Y: The Last Man and doesn't get a chance to fall on its arse. A comic book has to be written and drawn while a song need only be written. I can't compare your writing of this song to Brian K. Vaughan's writing of Y: The Last Man because they're completely different things, but overall I think I enjoyed his more even though I didn't like the end. Yours is probably better though. ***

Kill Me Sarah
Some parts of this song don't seem to flow into each other well but it is good enough. I've got some great advice you should remember. Next time you think you've finished your song, you haven't. You still have to add the violin solo!!! don't forget it next time!!!!!! You've already replied to this thread five times so I expect a reply to this review! **3/4

Lithium Institution
If you want to be boring at least be good. I don't think you know what you're doing.

MC Paul Denyer
The only rapper in the fight and clearly the best rapper in the fight. I'm going to vote for it on that merit!!! Daniel Merrett plays for the Brisbane Lions. He is unrelated to Roger Merrett who also played for Brisbane. Caravan Ray used to live in Brisbane but he left. I would too. **1/2

Melvin
I got a new DVD recorder on Friday. The old one (Samsung) stopped working. It said system error but didn't tell me any more than that!! I looked at the warranty and it said I'd have to take it to the service center which sounded too hard so I took it back to Target where I got it from and said this is stuffed can I have a new one? They said yes! They didn't check that it was stuffed or even if all the stuff was there so I could have kept the batteries out of the remote. I didn't get the same one I was returning because it let me down the first time (only lasted 7 months). I got a Telefunken. It was $30 cheaper than the Samsung one I got in December last year so I got a new dvd recorder and THIRTY DOLLARS CASH MONEY!!!! The $30 bought tasty frozen foods which I cooked in a deep fryer. I had some dim sims and some chips and a hash brown and some chicken for tea on Friday ALL OF WHICH I FRIED then I recorded a rap for Song Fight (this fight) but didn't spend too long on it because I had to watch the footy at 8:30 I think it worked out okay though. I mixed it and sent it in after the footy. I think I should have put the vocals louder but I was sleepy and couldn't be arsed working it out. My football team the Hawthorn Hawks (that I support not play for) were playing the Geelong Cats my team lost sadly It was our home game I didn't go though I had many things to do on Friday. Over 86,000 people went they said it was a sellout but 100,000 people fit in the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) so I don't know what that means. This was an important game to neutral supporters because Geelong are the reigning premiers and the team to beat and Hawthorn are considered the greatest chance to beat them. Geelong only won by 11 points and they really should have lost but a couple of SKILL ERRORS!!!!!! by Campbell Brown (who was playing as a forward (usually a back) in one of the best games of his career) and Luke Hodge (whose girlfriend was due to give birth that day and we were all scared he would miss the game but she held out until Saturday so it was okay and it was a boy which is DOUBLE DECKER GOOD NEWS because he will be drafted to his dad's club under the father/son rule which says a team gets first dibs on its alumna's sons). I don't blame Campbell Brown and Luke Hodge, sometimes things just don't happen right. Because Geelong only won by 11 points (less than two goals) and were outplayed generally I believe, I think that proved that Hawthorn can beat them, and I hope we see that come finals time (I will also be satisfied with someone else beating them in the finals!!!) Anyway Melvin I like your song of course. ***1/4

Neon Tigers
Oh we're from tiger land! A fighting fury we're from tiger land! In any weather you will see us with a grin! Risking head and skin! If we're behind then never mind we'll fight and fight and win For we're from tiger land! We never weaken till the final siren's gone! Like the tiger of old! We're strong and we're bold! For we're from tiger YELLOW AND BLACK We're from tiger land!!!!!! Your song is pleasant just nothing phenomenal. UNLIKE THE RICHMOND TIGERS THEME SONG LINK 1 LINK 2 **1/2

Nigel Clements
This is hard to listen to, Nigel. Just because of the guitar. Glenn says he doesn't like the chorus but I do. He is more important than I am so you should listen to him. *

noah mclaughlin
Don't like when the second gtar came in but I didn't really like it before then. 1:30 in I don't know what it's about because I'm not paying attention. It's boring and I don't want to. *

Paco del Stinko
I don't like this as much as I like Glenn Case's but don't feel bad, Glenn is better than you. That's not your fault. You're better than Rone Rivendale!!!! Best use of guitars I suppose. ***

raisin brain
I disagree with the other people. I think your vocals are funny. I didn't get bored listening to it and I thought the last couple of minutes were very enjoyable. **1/4

Short Wheel City
I'm getting a bit sick of listening to songs called Cryptic Comment so I'm going to go take a shit. I can't think of anything to say about your song now so if I don't when I get back I'll just say that your song is fine and I didn't mind listening to it. I don't like taking a shit in winter because it's cold and you have to sit there with your pants down. ***

signboy
I like the switch between the verse and chorus. I feel like I've listened to it before. The vocals aren't great which is unfortunate because everything else is. I just found out why I feel like I've listened to it before: I heard the instrumental when you were asking for vocals. Since the vocals are the only problem with the song you can blame everyone else for not responding. Unless someone did respond then you can blame whoever is singing. They're not bad just not as good as everything else. Also I think this song reminds me of The Ballad of Lacey by Jimmy Jacobs as that is what I was singing after listening to your song. ***1/2

Steve Durand
It's an odd style I don't hear ever so I wouldn't know if you fucked it up. Sounds like you didn't though. Pigpen thinks you ruin your songs with your singing, unlike his songs which he ruins with his singing, music and writing (If Pigpen reads this I am joking. if he doesn't I'm not. but if he read that I am!!). I think you do alright. There are worse singers in this fight and it's not like this song needs a great singer anyway. An enjoyable and fun song I think I might have some toast! But the bread's in the freezer and at the bottom of the freezer which means I'd have to bend down to get and I don't feel like doing that. I will eventually because I want some toast but I'll probably wait until after the last three songs are reviewed. I'm going to have on the toast vegemite (this is Australian but I think you've heard of it) and cheese (you have this in your country). ***

Swilington
Well it's kind of interesting. I like the second half more than the first. *

Titans of Eklekto-clash
I was expecting it to suck when it started and then it didn't so I am counting that as a negative. There are bits I like but overall not something I enjoy. **1/2

Damn Hell Ass Kings or The Weakest Suit
It's boring. Does not need to be two and a half minutes long.*1/2

I am going to vote for some or all or none of these people:
Aardwolves
The Booty Chesterfield Trio
Caravan Ray
Glenn Case
MC Paul Denyer
signboy

[nyjm]

so, apparently "cryptic" = "slower tempo"; very few people (myself included) brought the upbeat rock this week. huh.

Aardwolves
+++ melody +++
--- production ---
/// the lyrics have some very interesting prosody in your hands, but they lack a certain poetry ///

Andre was here at midnight
--- grating vox whose unconventional panning distract rather than inform ---
--- warbly everything makes it all sound cheap ---
--- uneven rhythm ---

Boltoph
/// the vox are wispy, which may be intentional, but i'd like to hear more firmness ///
+++ drum production is teh 4w3s0m3 +++
+++ laid-back groove with just enough intensity +++
--- ending seems unfocused or gratuitous ---

Booty Chester Field Trio
/// promising opening fuzz and groove that never delivers ///
--- why are the vox panned uniquely left? ---
--- ending --

Caravan Ray [vote]
+++ rich, reverbed guit tone +++
+++ lyrical concept +++
+++ bridge vox +++
+++ succinct ending +++

The Dirty Hairs
--- GnG and nothing but ---
--- lyrics lack prosody and poetry ---
--- popping vox ---

Flappy Gunderson
+++ sha-na-na +++
--- main vox ---
--- lyrics ---

Glenn Case [vote]
+++ rock! +++
+++ lyrics like "YOU STAND OUT LIKE A MUSTARD STAIN UNDER A BLACK LIGHT [You're freaky] +++
/// chorus might be too long ///
+++ vox treatment and the call/repeat dynamic +++

The Hand Formula
--- vox ---
--- lofi ---
--- boring ---

i.p.
+++ dynamism +++
--- crash cymbal drowns out the guitars ---
/// as usual, overall production excellence and a solid song, but this one doesn't stand up and grab me ///

Jonathan Mann [vote]
/// kooky ///
+++ lyrics are HILARIOUS; love the ST:TNG reference +++
+++ novelty songs like this are really hard to pull off +++

Kill Me Sarah
--- uneven stop and start performance ---
+++ strings in the solo/bridge are a nice touch +++
+++ lyrics +++

Lithium Institution
+++ i like the assonance of the band name +++
--- not a song; not even an interesting sound collage ---

MC Paul Denyer
/// bias alert: I don't really like rap; it has to be exceptional ///
--- this isn't exceptional ---
+++ the frog is funny touch, which coupled with the over-the-top lyrics leads me to think this is not to be taken seriously, or rather taken as parody +++

Melvin
/// i must be in a picky mood today; this is standard Melvin, which means solid production, songwriting and performance ///
--- but it's also standard Melvin: the same vox harmonies, guitar tones and pop-rock lyrical themes ---
+++ good highs and lows with sustained intensity +++

Neon Tigers
--- vox ---
--- overpowering crash cymbal ---
+++ some interesting aural tones +++

Nigel Clements
--- lead pipe vox ---
--- chorus drones rather than bounces ---

noah mclaughlin
/// this was something of an experiment, with all the inherent pitfalls and exciting possibilities: i recorded this all in one take with three mics ///
+++ i like the dynamism and the weird chords (Asus9, anyone?) +++
--- sounds like a B-side ---

Paco Del Stinko [vote]
+++ bass tone +++
--- "it was a cryptic comment" identifying something as cryptic tends to be counter-productive ---
+++ brings the rock! love the solo guit tone +++
+++ ending +++

Raisin Brain
+++ interesting tones +++
--- takes way too much time to get to any musical point ---
/// weird story, which may be the point, but for me it's largely gratuitous ///

Short Wheel City
+++ interesting groove +++
--- too much vox reverb reverb reverb ---
+++ stop and start chorus works pretty well +++

Sign Boy
+++ love the bouncy bass +++
--- the elec guitar tone is uninspired and overrides the cooler musical elements ---
+++ rock in the desert of mid-tempo entries +++
--- CRYP-TIC COM-MENT! ---
+++ bridge/solo +++

Steve Durand
--- keyboard timing is iffy ---
--- the whole things seems rushed and unsure of itself, teetering just this side of out of control ---

Swilington
--- random is not cryptic ---
+++ cool tones, especially the bongo sound +++

Titans of Eklekto-clash
--- casio-pop ---
+++ danceable +++
/// a throw-away summer song ///

The Weakest Suit
/// the cryptic lyrics would be more intriguing if the music had something unique to offer ///
--- it doesn't really ---
+++ i like the tambourine +++

[Denyer]

so, apparently "cryptic" = "slower tempo"; very few people (myself included) brought the upbeat rock this week. huh.

It is July 30 2008 and I've just worked out you use --- for negatives and +++ for positives. I thought that was just silly formatting and I always read around it before.

[Caravan Ray]

Oh we're from tiger land! A fighting fury we're from tiger land! In any weather you will see us with a grin! Risking head and skin! If we're behind then never mind we'll fight and fight and win For we're from tiger land! We never weaken till the final siren's gone! Like the tiger of old! We're strong and we're bold! For we're from tiger YELLOW AND BLACK We're from tiger land!!!!!!

Ahhhh...now I remember why I left Australia. Is it true that the NZ Tourism Bureau runs ads in Melbourne that say:
"Come to New Zealand! We have the same crap weather as you - but better football!"

[Denyer]

No but they run ads in NSW and QLD that say "Come to New Zealand where rugby is still popular!".

[Niveous]

Ah, it's been a long time since I did reviews. I hope I picked a good fight to start up again.

Aardwolves: Reminds me of myself. Acoustic guitar, flanged production, focus on the lyrics. Yep, Aardwolves is Niv the Girl. I wish there were more lyrics to this. The long music break doesn't do it any favors when the lyrics are the strong point. Decent tune.

AWHAM: You always do these crazy off kilter things. I think that they are magnificent. I don't even know how to classify this, but why would I try. This is a hell of a ride. I just wish that the ride had more twists and turns in the dynamics. If the song did a build, it would be so powerful. The song hits close to the mark but just misses it.

Boltoph: Damn Boltoph. He's bringing the soul groove. This is very strong musically and the vocal delivery is top notch. Lyrically....what the heck is going on? And I hate saying this but it runs a bit long. It loses a lot of punch by the end. By 3:19, I was already for the song to end and for reasons I couldn't understand the song went on. And then after it ended, it started playing backward and that was completely unneccessary, nor was it interesting.

Booty CT: Distorted blues, huh. This just isn't doing anything for me. I've three or four listens and it just hasn't moved me. I think the effected vocals hold it back. I did enjoy the end a bit and I wish the rest of the song had been as sonicly interesting as the end.

Caravan Ray: This needs to be covered by Peter Gabriel. It's an enjoyable song but there needs to be something more in the mix. Maybe a piano or something to help carry the song along. And what the hell is up with the lyrics. Cryptic is not synomnous with nonsensical.

Dirty Hairs: Youtube Woes, huh? There's like no effort to this. The performance is sloppy and the whole song is ramshackle. And there's no reason for this to be 5 minutes long. This is a guy with a microphone, some free time and the desire to try to be funny. A lesson to all, we aren't always as funny as we think we are.

Flappy Gunderson: "...makes me wanna stick my weenie in you". Weenie. I can't get into a song that uses the word weenie as a substitute for penis as if this was the 4th grade. I can't respect this as even cheap humor.

Glenn Case: The chorus speaks to me so much right now. The verses with the extra line added at the end aren't doing it for me. But the chorus is catchy and musically strong and very well written. Not bad at all, Mr. Case. This may get a vote from me.

Hand Formula: What the hell is that percussion sound? It's driving me slowly insane, especially since the song is 2 and a half minutes without a shred of musical diversion. It's verse after verse delivered without a change. And there's no coda, just a flat drop off. I would've loved to hear the accordian get smashed to bits at the end. Seriously, just to add something different.

i.p.: There's the sonic diversity I've needed. That build into the chorus was great. And then the chorus drops out into the verses again. So well done. And the guitar leading the way through the last chorus, leading to the vocal harmonies at the end. Very good song and it's got my vote for sure.

Jonathan Mann: I was so happy to see Jonathan Mann in this fight. Forty Second Songs had a lot of great songs back in the day. Then I heard it. It's just way too silly for my taste. It's well done but I know that I would never give this more than a few spins. I bet my kids could dig it though, just it's not for me. I know it's a terrible review to give but sometimes that's just the truth.

Kill me Sarah: "I'll be your decoder ring" is a fun lyric. I think I more energetic vocal delivery would help this. It's got a neat li'l 60's vibe. I could hear this done by the Lovin' Spoonful or Herman's Hermits but the vocal delivery definitely needs to be pumped up. I bet if you gave the instrumental to Adam (Puce) and had him sing it, the song would feel so much more alive.

Lithium Institution: You almost lost me when the drums kicked in but the next layer worked well, but then when it dropped away, I lost interest, but then it came back and I was okay but then I said to myself, "This is a cryptic comment". How do you name an instrumental "Cryptic Comment"? It just doesn't work. Fail. It was an okay electronica song but doesn't fit the bill for the fight.

Denyer: Using a frog as a beat may not be the best idea. And then doing a song about your dick doesn't make me wanna listen. And it's not even a funny song. Ever hear the Yaggfu Front song "My Dick Is So Large"? That's hilarious. And still, even that song gets grating after a while. It's a song about your dick and there's just not enough material to satisfy. Wait...that didn't come out right.

Melvin: The nursery rhyme lyrics and sing song delivery didn't work on the verses. But the guitar is so good and the chorus is well done. I'm split on this one. Dropping out the guitar on the bridge was nice but the falsetto didn't work. I keep flip flopping on this song. There are parts that make me wanna say "Fail" and stop listening and parts that say "This is pretty rocking". The rocking parts outnumber the fails but not enough to get my vote....maybe. (still flip flopping)

Neon Tigers: I wanna hear this with a live band, or at least live drums. The vocals need some more life. Those two things could create a real groove to this song, something reminiscent of Animal Collective's "Peacebone". It's almost to that point and I like how the last choruses just build and build. I dig this. It could be better but it has potential.

Nigel Clements: A more rocking Nigel. I’m not used to that. I think the vocals are a bit too lost in the mix. But I’m surprised and how much I’m digging this especially the bass. It’s a little weak in some parts like the lyrics but there is some charm in this. Keep playing with this stuff Nigel. I think it might lead to something.

Noah McLaughlin: I totally wasn’t expecting the electric guitar just raging in the background. It’s cool but it completely took me away from the lyrics. And with the vocal delivery where there the lines end in descent (it’s almost as if the vocals fade off at the end of a lot of the lines), I am having a hard time grasping onto the lyrics. And before I knew it, it was done. It just didn’t hook me. I kinda listened in wonderment but it didn’t hook me.

Paco del Stinko: There are some interesting lyrical choices here with lines about the gauntlet and the judas kiss. It peaks my interest more when there are lyrics I can sink my teeth into. And the chorus is pretty catching. Nice guitar solo. In listening to the Paco Del Stinko catalog, this song isn’t a far stretch. This is your modus operandi- quirky lyrics and vocal delivery over a solid rock song. No complaints here. May even get a vote.

Raisin Brain: Okay, I’m in love with this song at the start. Then the vocals come in and the whole thing falls apart. A better vocalist would do this song wonders. Take for instance the croon at the end of the 2nd verse would be so much better in the hands of a more capable vocalist. Imagine if this had a female vox, it would have this great Lily Allen charm. The music is so good especially that guitar solo. You definitely need different vocals to complete the package.

Short Wheel City: Overproduced is the first thing that comes to mind. The effects on the vocals and the way the mix is, it makes me feel….it’s hard to explain. It’s like the band is playing in a small room and I’m in the center with all the sound compressing on me. It’s not a good feeling. It’s an okay song. It definitely didn’t set my world on fire but I didn’t completely loathe it.

Signboy: “She let a tear fall three feet in front of an abstract piece.” Huh? The first verse is a throwaway. The song doesn’t go anywhere until the second verse. The solos are great. I really wish the rest of the song was as inspired as the solo. This is all over the place. It has the lackluster first verse, the punky chorus, the well done second verse, and the killer solo. It just needs to all come together.

Steve Durand: You start off with this great mix or horn and organ and then the organ just fades into the mix while the horn stays strong. I want the horn and organ strong and throughout the song. Maybe bring out that percussion a little more too. And it’s way too short to build a good groove.

Swillington: This song just throws you right into it without an intro and starts talking about racism and then mentions steak sauce and as you try to digest what the hell you just heard it starts counting in a robot voice and then you realize you shouldn’t have come here if you wanted to keep your sanity. Then like a merciful saint, the song ends but you are still left to wonder WTF.

Titans of Eklektoklash: It sounds like I should be playing my NES, like this is some hidden stage for Rolling Thunder. Then you get the vocals which turn it from video game into this odd Blaqk Audio thing. That appeals since I like Blaqk Audio and I like videogames. The song has my foot tapping, that’s a good sign. In the end, not a bad little tune.

The Weakest Suit: A purple monkey dishwasher. Like I said earlier, just because the title is “Cryptic Comment”, it didn’t mean that you should make a song full of nonsensical lyrics. By 1:30, I was very tire of hearing about the monkey thing and the county fair thing. So, I have to ask. “hey Weakest Suit, is this a song that’s going to have a cherished place in your repertoire? One that you’ll play over and over again?” I’m thinking no.

Time to go vote….

[Kill Me Sarah]

Ah, it's been a long time since I did reviews. I hoped I picked a good fight to start up again.
I think I more energetic vocal delivery would help this. It's got a neat li'l 60's vibe. I could hear this done by the Lovin' Spoonful or Herman's Hermits but the vocal delivery definitely needs to be pumped up. I bet if you gave the instrumental to Adam (Puce) and had him sing it, the song would feel so much more alive.

I love the Spoonful! I couldn't agree more with the vocal critique. I'm really struggling with this week after week. I used to think that volume translated to "energy" but it clearly doesn't. Some of my favorite vocal performers are very subdued, but they are never boring. I would love suggestions on how to make my vocals more energetic and dynamic...

[senza valore]

Aardwolves - Super sweet and just about the perfect length. Since it's solely voice and acoustic guitar, I do think that there should be a little bit more variation in one of the two as it becomes monotonous towards the end. I don't think that either need to be much different melodically, but just as far as cadence - maybe a bit of a break in the strumming pattern towards the end or a part where notes are held a bit longer and there's more space involved. I think that either or those techniques would probably work better than the instrumental break, considering the length. Also, I've got no problem with lo-fi but I'm hearing a lot of digital artifacts that I don't think were intentional - it sounds like it was mixed down at a really small bit rate at some point even though I can see that it's 128 kpbs. I'd recommend making sure that you do at least 128 and then at least normalize it to give it a bit more impact. Overall, though, I dig it and look forward to hearing more from you (and would be interested to hear what you would do with more instrumentation.)

Andre was Here at Midnight - As far as structure and instrumentation go, I can hear a lot of potential in this. Unfortunately, I don't think that potential is fulfilled at all due to so many things being off key and off rhythm. The vocal performance is pretty much killing me as well - it sounds like you're trying to be a 'dirty old man' character on Family Guy or something of the like. The lyrics sound like they would be more affecting to me if the delivery was a bit more standard.

Boltoph - Great production and good performances here. If you're just one person then you do an amazing job of sounding like a full band playing live. Even though there are changes to make it more dynamic, I feel like the general volume level sits at about the same place and I start to lose interest as it goes on. Probably about a minute too long for what it is.

The Booty Chesterfield Trio - This would be a lot better if the vocal distortion were used more sparingly. If it were only used for the chorus and some of the shout-outs I think that it would add a more dynamic feel. As is, there's just a lot happening simultaneously at the same sort of volume and frequency range and it's a bit hard for me to listen to.

Caravan Ray - I feel like this song could stand to be a tad faster and is overlong. I definitely appreciate the short sections where you played with production a bit - the first where your voice becomes distant echoes and the second where you duet with yourself. I think that those were definitely inventive and well employed. I feel like it could use a bit more to fill out the sound, such as some electric guitars with thick delay or some simple synth pads.

The Dirty Hairs - I like pop culture references. I like songs that are fun and inane. This song is terrible and I have a hard time believing that you spent any more than 10 minutes writing it and 5 minutes recording it.

Flappy Gunderson - Almost sounds like it could be an R. Stevie Moore outtake but quickly devolves into something I would never listen to again. "Your weenie" should stay as far away from your recording process as possible.

Glenn Case - This song is quite a refreshing change from a lot of what's come before it in this fight. Even though the main groove is played into the ground, it never particularly feels overlong or repetitive. There are enough unique things happening to grab and hold my attention throughout the track. Well done!

The Hand Formula - This song reminds me of the movie "Groundhog Day" except that it's 1/50th as long and not at all entertaining. Would you listen to this song if someone else recorded it?

i.p. - Musically I've got no complaints here. Lyrically it's very trite but that's saved by the band's performance which has a great amount of dynamics and melodic changes.

Jonathan Mann - I can take this sort of style when it's a bit less heavy-handed (They Might Be Giants would be a good example) but this just comes off as a children's song. Still, it would be a decently done children's song.

Kill me Sarah - You've got a unique vibe here but nothing about the song really excites me too much. I think that if the vocal performance had a bit more passion or change-ups that it would make it much stronger.

Lithium Institution - Starts off promising but takes too long to get off the ground. The snare hits and drumming in general ruin the song for me - I think that you need something much more intricate, faster right off the bat (when the drums are introduced) and less prominent in the mix. Overall this doesn't justify its length. Really if those drums were improved then it would make a world of difference. I'm no expert on drum programming but I can give you some pointers or examples if you want.

MC Paul Denyer - If you're going to be this crass then you need to be quite a bit more inventive. Even joke songs need to be musically interesting. There's way too much frog and the synth line is just plain boring. Way too sparse. I'm tired of white kids making rap music that don't seem to listen to any rap music (even if it's 'nerdcore'.)

Melvin - This is really disappointing to me. Yes, the production is amazing. Yes, the performances are fantastic. Yes, the songwriting is super solid. Unfortunately, I'm not hearing an ounce of originality. As most people here are, I'm a huge fan of yours so it pains me to hear this waste of talent. It sounds like you had all of your recording equipment set up, and then you went back and forth between listening to Weezer's Blue Album and writing the song. Seriously, every element of this song - guitar chords, drumming patterns, vocal delivery, melodies - sound like they were directly aped from Weezer's early catalog. It makes me question the originality of your entire body of songs. I know that you can do better!

Nigel Clements - Too much of the same.

Noah McLaughlin - I think that you need more passion in your voice if you're going to pull off something as emotionally overwrought as this. After the first distorted guitar hit and pause, I really expected some heavy drums and serious rock to kick in. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting.

Paco Del Stinko - I like the balance in your production. I like the ear candy at the beginning and end and wish that there were a bit more of that throughout.

Raisin Brain - It feels like the same guitar part stretches on forever and ever, but it wasn't even interesting enough to sustain the intro for me. The vocals have far too hard of edges in their cadence. It bores me.

Short Wheel City - I like this quite a bit! Musically and production-wise, it reminds me of early Factory records bands, early R.E.M. or Television Personalities. Some people may not be into the production but I dig it. Some of the lyrics are weak ('volcano ready to blow') but they didn't distract me too much. I don't think that the vocals need to be overly passionate for a track like this but I think they should have a little bit more energy. Kept my interest for the entire length. If I could only vote for one song, it might actually be this one.

Signboy - The vocal melody for the verse is pretty grating to me. Production wise things sound good but songwriting wise it doesn't do much for me.

Steve Durand - I dig the unique instrumentation but something about the vocal melodies aren't working for me - maybe they should actually be a bit more crooned instead of trying to match the energy of the instruments. Everything feels good to me about the production - there's a good balance struck between everything.

Swillington - Wow. "Steak sauce and stealth bombers" kind of sums it up. Just take that inventiveness and learn to use it for good instead of evil.

Titans of Elektoklash - The first 28 seconds are AMAZING. I'm afraid that your voice ruins the rest, but I do applaud you for giving it a shot. The music stays great throughout, and I feel like you've got that down solid. Keep at the singing and you'll really be on to something! Seriously!

The Weakest Suit / Damn Ass Hell Kings - http://personal4.iddeo.es/mmoreira/imag ... psons2.jpg

[drë]

Cryptic Comment REVIEWS:

Swilington : like the lo-fi vocals... Niv? and then it gets all experimental on me. too much synth vocals for my taste.

signboy: The drums sound a bit too high in the mix.. great chorus,(prob best from all the fight).. good instrumental break.. with the exception of some of the drums, this is an exceptional song. possible vote.

The Hand Formula : good mellow vocals. Good tone, specially with the melodica in the background. very charming song, like a poem recital.
i like it a lot.

Nigel Clements : B52's and talking heads clash ?? has good energy, wish it had more bass, to make it more danceable.

Raisin Brain : wow long intro... their is is.. vox sound a bit like paco... and the whole song has a drunken feel to it. its OK i guess.

MC Paul Denyer: dude did u just steal the bass line from the last song (Lithium Institution) ? classic MC P Denyer.
frog for beat, with off the wall lyrics... ohh it cut off what a shame.

The Dirty Hairs : lo-fi youtube song... yeah! aaahhhhg the tone of your acoustic sounds awful!

Boltoph : smooothhh... cat. the production of this is great, the deep bass groove, the drum rolls... reminds me a bit of the last My morning jacket album, for some reason. glad to hear your still making music and only getting better. possible vote.

Lithium Institution : OK. ???? Experiment away! Actually some sections sound pretty decent.

noah mclaughlin: uummmm...mmmmmmm.. don’t know man.. not only do you have a country singer name, but you also sing like one. not bad.

Aardwolves : This is pretty good, wished it was better recorded to make the vocals more clear.
it has good vocal melody. please keep submitting.

Kill Me Sarah : hey this sounds a lot better than some of the other stuff i have heard from you. the arrangement and vocals sound really good.
only drawback is the lame drumbeat. The String arrangement sounds really good. possible vote.

Flappy Gunderson: liking the intro... this is cool man... drunken nonsense... is always good. uhhh i put this under novelty act, that i liked.

The Booty Chesterfield Trio : like the grittiness of this.. Sounds trashy and dirty in a good way. could use some extra riffs tho, and a change or two... kind of gets dumb towards the end. like the 1st half.

Titans of Eklekto-clash: is this a song from the new Final Fantasy Game ? oh wait it has vocals...mmmm... might be better off as an instrumental / techno dance song.

Caravan Ray: man, that drum pattern is annoying ..and boring? song might sound better without them. you know, you probably don't get enough credit for your vocals... you have some pipes. there’s something missing from this song to really tie it all together, just don’t know what it is..
30 seconds too long ?

Neon Tigers: aaaaahhhh.... spacey....aaaahhhh...dont cry... trippy man. i like this strange strange song.. has alot of good qualities. possible vote.

i.p.: another badass song. i think you have my vote. i hate overly used cymbols, but you are forgiving, as this is pretty good.

Jonathan Mann: This song is 1:04 too long Sounds good Jonathan, with witty & funny lyrics. possible vote.

Melvin: oooh, that first bar of the intro was good! wished it had lasted longer that 1 second, before going straight into the song.
heavy and multilayered like classic Melvin. could be my speakers/headphones, but i'm getting alot of hiss from the snare/high hat... is a bit of a bummers.
wow, the break/bridge on this song is badass. you have my vote.

Short Wheel City: another trippy spacey song.. the instruments don’t blend too well, like the bass and strings (synth keys)... too trippy for me, its making me nauseous.

Glenn Case: this is badasss man, the crunchiness of the guitar with the fast rapping sounds groovy. wish the chorus were better arranged (or have a completely different strucutre than the rest of the song)
Possible vote.

The Weakest Suit: i don’t get the Lisa Simpson reff from above. ok now i do. you know, all your songs have this Americana / alt-country feel to them that i really dig. dig this tune as well. Possible vote.

Paco del Stinko: Man your bass lines are always groovy and tight. good songs with all the right elements. Possible vote.

Steve Durand: really like the jazzy drums and overall freestyle jazz feel of the song. You sir know how to add dynamics to a song, get straight to the point, and make it very clear what your song is about. Vote.

[saunter]

__________

[boltoph]

Wow, thanks so much for the props and for listening. Sorry if the song ran a little too long for some folks. Ideally I would've done a rhodes solo if there had been time. I hope to get to reviewing the songs, I've been away for the past week.

Also another note: the backwards bits at the end of my song were supposed to be representing the "comment". Reversing the little bits of guitar were like an "encryption" and there were two guitars which would sort of signify one person making a comment to another.

Lunkhead, it is me on the instruments. Got an old trap drum kit in my attic mic'd with two ribbon mics, a condenser on the kick drum, and an SM57 micing the bottom head of the snare...it took me about 30 takes to get a decent drum part but I've got this neat little contraption called the "tranzport" which makes it easy to just sit at the drums in a different room from my computer, and keep doing take after take. The vocals were done in a hurry on the morning that the fight was due, and I still cringe when I hear them...

[Caravan Ray]

In order of preference:


BC3: Great guitar intro! Great vocals. Sounds sleazy. Sleazy is good. This is good.

Glenn Case: Wow. Well done. Awesome verses. Chorus is a bit draggy, but that is probably OK - it is like the chorus is the rest bit, until the next verse, because the verses are great.. Maybe the chorus could be 2 lines shorter to keep it snappy. Great song.

Denyer: Just beautiful. i was going to vote for you even before the pooper/trooper rhyme - but that one certainly secured it for you. Great vocal delivery - that was just superb.

AWHAM: Great song Dre! OK I know that you are only a casual aquaintence of what the rest of us would consider "in tune" - but I really like this song. And funnily enough - you sound like a New Zealander! For some reason, it reminding me of The Clean

===============================================
**********VOTE LINE**********
===============================================

Nigel Clements: This is pretty good. I like the song a lot - but the chorus is shite. If this had a decent hook it would work. You have been hiding behind Cythia too long - these vocals are fine.

i.p: Not sure about this one. The song really isn't interesting me - but I do like the lead singers voice. The good voice is the only thing raising this above bland.

Paco del Stinko: Competent - but hookless. Sorry Paco - just not making me want to listen

Kill Me Sarah: Heh! Your bass is shaking my car speakers! I think my last comment about you was you needed a bass! Too much. Nice song though - you're really writing well. Good work. And really nice vocal delivery

Aaardwolves: Production is simply awful. How did you do this?!? Happily though, production can be fixed. You have a very nice voice, you can write a good song, and especially - you have a great sense of melody. This is very good. I want to hear more from you. Just take your head out of the toilet while recording next time please.

Short Wheel City - I like the style of this. Doesn't quite all fit together - but it is pretty cool

Steve Durand: I like the song a lot. Arrangement doesn't quite work. Need simpler. Just keys and voice - one horn solo. It all sounds a bit crowded.

Jonothon Mann: Sorry - I will mark you down. I just don't like this stuff. You are very, very good though at what you do. It is just not for me. I will say though I loved the line "I've had enough of your ring-a-ding-ding" - for some reason - that totally cracked me up!

Melvin: You are back to the Weezer songbook. And this sounds like one of the Weezer songs that prompted me to stop buying Weezer albums. You've done a lot better.

Signboy: Sounds like paint-by-numbers-alt-rock. Unengaging.

Boltoph: Good to see the 'toph back! But I don't like your song. It is making me think of pasty white men with afros and white satin suits from 1976. I don't want to think of them again.

Raisin Brain - Promising lyrics that never go anywhere

Titans of ElectroClash - bit too bleepy for me

Hand Formula: You are starting to annoy me Hand Formula. Is this really the best you can do? Your songs are really interesting, and you write great melodies - why do you always sound so bored? And WTF is this Penny Lane shit!?!? Whatever...your minimalism isn't working for me - but you sound like a very good songwriter.
Dirty Hairs: No

Noah McLaughlin: No. this sounds like a bad parody of bad guy'n'guitar. I've heard you do things a lot more interesting than this.

Weakest Suit: I'm really starting to look forward to your songs. You have a go at something different. Didn't work this time. This is shit. I mean that in the nicest way though - good effort, just didn't work for me. I just found the lyrics dumb. And I know dumb lyrics. Pot calling kettle.

Swillington: Pass

Neon Tigers: No, I don't like it

Flappy Gunderson: Next

Lithium Institute: No

[blue]

Denyer rules this fight.

[Learned Hand]

Apologies again for sound quality. I am a moron with the machines. And sorry I sound bored. Songs recorded at 3am, after hours of drafting memos & briefs. Maybe I'm just boring. But I will try to perk up!
Incidentally, Penny Lane is my girlfriend's name. First 10 songs for Penny. But I'm moving it into the verses.

[Caravan Ray]

Apologies again for sound quality. I am a moron with the machines. And sorry I sound bored. Songs recorded at 3am, after hours of drafting memos & briefs. Maybe I'm just boring. But I will try to perk up!
Incidentally, Penny Lane is my girlfriend's name. First 10 songs for Penny. But I'm moving it into the verses.

I believe that there already was a song called "Penny Lane"? How many freaking songs does this sheila need?

Anyway - if your sound comes from just being crap machine-wise - that is perfectly forgiveable, and I will overlook it in future. I was worried you may have been doing it on purpose for some bizarre artistic reason. They are good songs - just a bit hard to get into with the ultra-lo-fi approach.

[Denyer]

Denyer rules this fight.

I agree. Let's all vote for him!

[Denyer]

Apologies again for sound quality. I am a moron with the machines. And sorry I sound bored. Songs recorded at 3am, after hours of drafting memos & briefs. Maybe I'm just boring. But I will try to perk up!
Incidentally, Penny Lane is my girlfriend's name. First 10 songs for Penny. But I'm moving it into the verses.

I believe that there already was a song called "Penny Lane"? How many freaking songs does this sheila need?

Anyway - if your sound comes from just being crap machine-wise - that is perfectly forgiveable, and I will overlook it in future. I was worried you may have been doing it on purpose for some bizarre artistic reason. They are good songs - just a bit hard to get into with the ultra-lo-fi approach.

I don't like many people from Queensland, but one good thing to come out of there is Penni Lane, a tremendous professional wrestler and way better than Hand's bird.

[Caravan Ray]

I don't like many people from Queensland, but one good thing to come out of there is Penni Lane, a tremendous professional wrestler and way better than Hand's bird.

Funny. I have travelled over almost every inch of Queensland. I have never come across any place called "Paradise City". She may have had too many punches around the ring.

[boltoph]

Here are some comments....maybe cryptic, probably not-so...

Aardwolves
It's a rough recording, meant to be on an answering machine? I like the idea there. Your voice is very endearing, skip the instrumental break. Your lyrics are good, I like your voice alot.

Andre Was Here
I like the way the intro skips into a different beat for the verse. And falls back for those prechorus bits. I can hear this on a sad part of a simpsons episode, but that is a good thing. I like the different rhythmic transition ideas there.

Boltoph
sorry i was a little outta tune on the Sade part...need to redo those vocals to smooth it out.

Booty Chesterfield
Weird blues patterns and slide are nice. distorted vocal exists in many other places obviously but it reminds me of ween here, which I like. I like the stuck so tight part. Imagining on stage freakthefuck out.

Caravan Ray
Cool choice to reverberate a line, about a third the way in. Like the vocal part that occurs after that, during the chromatic dropping part. I like how it picks up after about halfway in, and the spread of lush vocal is nice towards the end.

Dirty Hairs
Youtube Woes? Intro was a bit long. I see the relation to cryptic comment. Some funny lyrics there.

Flappy
I can dig this in a 50s sort of way, the sha na na and all. I used to watch that in the 80s but not sure when it was filmed. Almost funny with the weinie line but not quite.

Glenn Case
Nice tasty tight start. I can dig this. Reminds of Faith No More with a little of something pop-oriented with those tight rhythm vocals. I dig the chorus line with the other line that sort of answers it. Nice tight heavy guitars. Solid work with rhythm.

The Hand Formula
I liked the line about the medicine. The whole tune style could've made a great intro to something bigger and better.

i.p.
That's a nice smooth summery groove and puts me right in the chair and enjoying this songfight. So far, this and Glenn have got it, in my opinion. Nice hook sort of line in the chorus. This is pretty smooth, I like it.

Jonathan Mann
Nice entry of drums. PIcturing late 1880s gentlemen with spectacles and some sort of dance in an old church. I like that imagery. Interesting chord stuff in the bridge and the triangle is great.

Kill Me Sarah
Interesting acoustic / upright tone. Sounds very 60s ish and i like how the fluttering flamenco sort of strumming tone on the 1's kinda helps insinuate that vibe.

Lithium Institution
Cool intro, build. Took too long for the vocals to come in. Oh wait...duh...

Mc Paul Denyer
The ribbit is definitely a cool rhythmic addition. Sounds like it's written by an convict who's in for life and likes to have some 'fun' with the new guys.

Melvin
Lyrics being a story is great, keeps me especially interested in hearing the next verse, chorus, etc. Writing story lyrics is something I wish I could do...solid melodies and theme. Good shit.

Neon Tigers
Pretty cool, weird and interesting yet the rhythm of the vocs is cool and draws me in. Thought the drum tracks could've been quieter and more of just a deep kick with some cymbal action. Like the idea of catching words, not being able to keep up.

Nigel Clements
I liked the weird ness of the minor mixed with the major. Felt a little bit long, or dragging on. Was expecting bigger changes at the little stops and starts.

Noah McLaughlin
Reminded me of Guns n' Roses Patience for a minute. I like the way it starts to go when it picks up a little bit. Nice subtle, longing piece of song.

Paco Del Stinko
The intro parts were damn cool, like a combo of a bird chirp and a twisting of a frequency dial. I like the theme line of this, the "she" whispering in ear. Nice funky chorus there, harmonies and such, hook on the title. Best hook on the title line so far, imo. Best use of "pewter" in any song I have ever heard.

Raisinbrain
I liked the Pixies-ish tone of the whole intro. Not sure I liked the "stuffy vocal style" going on here with those chords. Would've preferred a nasly, sneering talk about sex on the floor. With sound effects from what was going on in the story. LIke the weird story aspect of it.

Short Wheel City
Promising pumpkins-ish intro. Like the way the bass line rocks with the kick drum at parts. Vocal could be quieter, and no delay on the chorus, just delay on the verses, I think. Cool guitar melodies going on at points, nice drone bass line.

Signboy
I really like those quick changes on the end of the phrases in the beginning. It just had to slam in after that intro and does. Nice entry of a punk style, contrasted by the B3 tone in the verses, I like both of those additions to this. And it has almost a disco-like beat which is interesting, also.

Steve Durand
It's like the hockey game with a horn section during the intro, that imagery comes to mind. Nice little end of the chorus-ish part on "say what you mean" followed by the fast horn moves. Nice work on the vocal melody move up towards the end of the chorus, keeps things moving.

Swilington
I liked the way that snare drum tone was tickling my ears. Vocals could be more melodic or something to give them a hook. It's all a little random but that is a weird intro of the robot-ish number recitation part. The whole thing is a little ticklish, I like that about it.

Titans of eklektoclash
Cool techno intro, more ticklish sounds. I like the way some of the lyric phrases resolve or fade into others like the "transmission...send..." part. Nice build up for chorus. Cool play of noise and signal. Lyrics theme + melodic instrumentation consistent.

the Weakest Suit
I like the purple monkey dishwasher, rhyme with 'for sure'. That is definitely an odd, cryptic comment, solid theme. I like that weird change in vocal tone to break things up and by the end I have the "you said it you said it" stuck in my head. Reminds of me of the Beatles "Her Majesty" on that part "she doesn't have alot to say". I feel like you have the same sort of melody / rhythm going on there...

whew it's been a while since i wrote em up.