Sometimes It's Hard to Keep Yourself Writing Reviews

[ken]

Gin and Ginseng perhaps?

[fluffy]

I don't think I ever actually used the word "jerk" in that.

It is true that several of my songs are about or otherwise involve the abstract concept of a job (Run Faster, Gin or Ginseng, Sorry To Inform You, Sometimes It's Hard to Keep Yourself Moving) but I don't think my lyrics are quite as predictable or repetitive as people seem to think. My ratio of songs-about-jobs to total songs is much lower than most artists' songs-about-sex ratios.

[umm]

Balls To Monte - You've got a pretty nice sound. I've never really been into strong accents for vocals, so this isn't really an exception. Pretty strong songwriting though (albeit a little predictable). I give it a B.

Ben Bradley - Pretty predictable overall, but I like the lyrics. Not much to say - the vox aren't too tight, but they're effective for what you're going for. I give it a C.

Berkeley Social Scene - Love the chill atmosphere. Alas, the vocals don't fit the mood. Not that they're bad - they just don't feel like they meld with the musical vision entirely. I'll give this a B+.

Crack My Jaw - With a shaker and some bass this could be tight. Not really original, but tight. You're a good singer. I give it a B-.

Crank Radio - Aww, I liked it until white boy rap came in. Sorry man, I just don't dig it, and autotune doesn't help your case. I give it a C-.

Docientos - I seem to remember listening to you back in the day and it didn't sound anything like this. I dig the lyrics, but the vox could be tighter to the beat. I'd love to hear a full out rhythmic vocal assault in this song. I give it an A- and a VOTE - not because it's a perfect song, but because I love the style and I see potential greatness.

Forkbomb - Great mix as always. I'm assuming those are programmed drums (if not, I apologize - it's just so tight). Your vox are sometimes a little nasal for my liking, but it doesn't get in the way of this song. This is tight, man. And pretty. I give it an A and a VOTE.

Gooey Caramel Centaur - Not bad. Interesting lyrics, and the whole thing has a solid, intriguing atmosphere ... but nothing grabs me. I can tell some decent vision went into this, but you need something out of place to pique my interest. I give it a B.

Heipa - Not a bad chord progression, but it's pretty repetitive. Feels lazy, and maybe that was the sound you were going for. Not bad, but not really interesting. I give it a C.

The Howling Monkeys - Nice smooth jam feel, and I'm sure some other people will appreciate that. I've never been a fan of this style though ... and lines like "reach up and touch the sky" are a little cheap. I give it a B.

James Owens - Going for a zepp groove there? Once again, not my thing ... it sounds like you made some up the lyrics up as you were going. Maybe it's a stylistic choice, but either way I'm not a huge fan. Sorry - it seems like some effort went into this. I give it a C+.

Jan Krueger - The guitars are pretty, but your vocals have so little emotion that I can't get into the tune. Sorry dude, I know I'm not one to talk about bad vox - but it seems you have a similar problem I had with my earlier songs. Learn to work with dynamics - this song begs for quieter, whispery vocals - not middle of the road, speaking level vox. I give it a B.

King Arthur - So atmospheric. I'd love to hear some more production addressed ... like ultracompressed, hardpanned drums coming in halfway through instead of the cowbell - just to amplify the frustration of the vocals and lyrics which can't really be expressed considering the chant style. Regardless, I give it an A and a VOTE.

Moaning Mississippi Fudge - I don't like it. I don't like the repetitive guitar, the lack of production, the subject matter or the droning vocals. I'd say sorry, but I'm convinced you're not serious about this. I give it an F+.

Paco Del Stinko - Ouch, grooving? That rhyme grates me, but I understand it fits witht he style of the song. Actually, this might be my favorite Paco song yet. I can't help but grin when I listen to it. Holy crap, I like this. I like it a lot. I can't give any advice since I've never written a song like this ... or maybe just because it's so good. I give it an A and a VOTE.

Ross Durand - I've always been a fan of mournful, depressing music - so naturally I dig this. Not crazy tight, but the sounds all work together for a really nice atmosphere that I can definitely appreciate and relate to. I give it an A, as well as a wholehearted VOTE.

Signboy et al - Vox hit their notes, but I can't say I like the tone. Nice and chill, but the crunchy guitar kind of kills that vibe. Sorry guys, it just doesn't really come together as a cohesive whole. I give it a C.

Sockpuppet - Man, this one is getting me the same way Paco got me - hits me with some things I dislike - namely passionless vox and a drum machine ... but then I slowly notice the intelligent production, interesting melody and fun subject matter. I dig it, man. I give it an A- and a VOTE.

Some Guy Called Noel - Really ... 96kbps? I guess it contributes to your lo-fi sound (which I adore, by the way). Seriously dude - you're the most honest songwriter I've heard in a long time. I love it. I give it an A+ and my VOTE.

Ujn Mullet - This is cool. For some reason I'm not bouncing my head to it ... it's got the ingredients, but for some reason I'm not really feeling it ... sorry guys, I think this my problem - it's a tight song for sure. I give it a B+.

Unfamous Jim - A little generic, but I like the lyric writing for sure. I always struggle to write literally, and you're pretty good at it. The song's not tight enough for me to want to listen to it again though. Sorry. I give it a B-.

Wages - This is better than a lot of Wages I remember listening to. But it's still Wages - pretty lo-fi with questionable melodic choices. Sorry man, you have a great vocal tone, but you miss some important notes. I give it a C+.

The Weakest Suit - Whoa, you have drums and electric guitars? When did this happen?? I'm proud of you, dude. Even though the drums are obviously fake, I can get into this song better than your other ones just because the sound is better filled out. Most improved award goes to you for sure. I give it a B.

Yngvi - Nope, not my thing. I don't plan on getting into another debate about this, but my opinion is that poetry is divided from music by melody and non-vocal rhythmic patterns. I don't hear either of those things in this "song", so naturally I don't like it. I give it a D-.

A lot of decent stuff in this fight, and only a few stinkers. My vote for the win goes to Some Guy Called Noel for sheer songwriting skills.

[AJOwens]

umm wrote:
James Owens - Going for a zepp groove there? Once again, not my thing ... it sounds like you made some up the lyrics up as you were going. Maybe it's a stylistic choice, but either way I'm not a huge fan. Sorry - it seems like some effort went into this. I give it a C+.

Thanks for the feedback. C+ is not a great mark, but we have widely different opinions about many of the songs in this fight, so I don't take it hard. The lyrics were written down, but I was going for a words-crammed-in effect, and at one point I ran out of breath and fumbled the word "particularly". I should have done one more take on that verse. I used unison-riff-rock in one section with the intent of conveying mindless, determined trudging (not that I would accuse Led Zeppelin of that -- think more Cheech and Chong). Later, I thought I should have laid in some army boots. Anyway, it turns out that some riffs are not "made to be played," and the five-semitone run up and down is a case in point. The guitars were a bear, but when I recorded the bass, I had to sneak in an open D string to get through it. Apart from that, I didn't knock myself out, so don't sweat it.

[fluffy]

I feel like it is fairly common for fluffy to rhyme work and jerk in his songs. Anyone else notice this?

Although I did just notice that I did it twice in this song.

I promise I'll do some actual reviews instead of crapping up this thread further. Maybe tonight. As a spoiler warning, my votes were for (in no particular order):

James Owens
Heipa
Ross Durand
The Howling Monkeys
Yngvi
Berkeley Social Scene
Balls To Monte

but this was an excellent fight all around.

[jb]

i'm going to rhyme work with pork in my next song.

[Reist]

Man, for a fight with an average amount of songs and very little crap, I'm surprised there's such a lack of reviews. Come on, guys!

[fluffy]

i'm going to rhyme work with pork in my next song.

Also rhyme it with Björk.

In order from longest to shortest:

Berkeley Social Scene: As always you guys sound exceptionally tight. I can't believe the quality of the sound you get in that terrible little studio, too. Or did you finally find a better one? The lyrics are a pretty straight-up interpretation of the title, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The bridge encroaches a bit on cliché territory, and the solo is about twice as long as it needs to be (and a bit sloppy). Just when I think the entire second half of the song will be an extended jam, it pops back into the original theme at just the right moment. Works for me.

James Owens: This is nice and funkily early-Zappa. The mixing could be a lot better though. The vocals are a bit muddy, and the hard-panned distorted guitar is too tinny and feels like it's just sort tof off to the side. I like how the chorus evokes a skipping record at times, which fits the theme nicely. The lyrics seem a bit old, though - is this really an anti-GWB-in-Iraq rant? I think that subject matter is pretty well played-out by now.

Wages: Your songs always sound like you're constipated.

Jan Krueger: This makes me think of Pink Floyd at a renaissance faire. Normally I wouldn't encourage people to use pitch correction on their vocals but your pitch is just barely off, just enough to make this hard to listen to, especially with the long drawn-out notes. It does get better about 90 seconds in, at least. I keep waiting for the epic drums to kick in and start the gigantic rock opera, but then it turns into a folk song instead.

Paco del Stinko: In retrospect I should have voted for this one. It's like R.Mosquito and Hoblit had a baby and then brought in later Grateful Dead for good measure. I'm not a fan of the fake drums trying to pass themselves off as real drums, though. Still, it puzzles me why I didn't vote for this. Maybe I did and just forgot to write it down? Who knows.

Heipa: I love these abstract jazzy grooves and if it had just been that for the whole song it would have been great, and perfect for the title, but then the vocals start, and I quickly lose interest in the song. I fall squarely within the camp that believes that instrumentals are perfectly okay in Song Fight as long as they fit the title (and I've entered a few of those myself), and I'd rather have an excellent instrumental than a mediocre caterwaul.

Yngvi: I also fall squarely into the camp which thinks spoken-word entries can be okay (having entered a few of those myself as well) but this just doesn't move me.

Moanin' Mississippi Fudge: This seems like it's aggressively, purposefully hard-to-listen to. Would have been a lot better without all the crappy spring reverb and whatever the hell that vocal processing is. Would have still been a shitty, offensive song, though.

The Howling Monkeys: I believe there are two reasons why, per the current front page news, Jon Hildenstein has won every fight he has been in, and one of them is that those songs have been solid, clean, and well-produced, if a bit generic and bland-sounding. This reminds me a lot of Keb' Mo', though, so there's that. I enjoyed listening to it, anyway.

Gooey Caramel Centaur: I like time signature experiments very much, but that alone isn't enough to carry this song. When it's not in 9/8 or whatever it's just kind of samey-sounding, and often the time changes seem to get in the way of sounding tight and cohesive.

Ross Durand: Nice and dark and brooding. Sometimes I wish the vocals were more in-tune but then that would make the speechy singing really out-of-place so I think that overall it works for this song. I love how the parts build up into nice shimmery layers. Tremelo plus distortion is usually one effect too many but for the style it works out excellently.

Crank Radio: It's everything I hate about the radio all in a single song. Congratulations, I guess.

umm: This reminds me a lot of sonofsupercar meets Verve Pipe, but the mix is a bit muddy for me and the song is kind of boring. I just can't get into it. Sorry.

Signboy: Sounds like a broken mechanoid trying really hard to maintain a plodding rhythm that's a little too slow for its servo controllers to handle. The vocals are very hard to listen to and make me feel anxious and on-edge. Drum machine trying to sound like real drums and overly-distorted guitar don't help.

Crack My Jaw: The beginning seems like the most obvious straight-up interpretation of the title possible. This would go really well at an open mic at a coffee shop - this song is pretty much an entire night of open mic in a single song, even. The stylistic changeups are definitely detrimental to the song.

forkbomb: This sounds pretty good on its own. The problem I have with it is that, unfortunately, it sounds like about half of your (meaning Puce's) songs. I guess it's okay to be so consistent but after a while it all starts to blur together.

Unfamous Jim: The idea of doing an Oregon Trail-themed song is clever, but the song itself seems a bit too serious for that sort of subject matter. I'm also allergic to straight-up guy-and-guitar, so you will be receiving my allergist bill.

Sockpuppet: God damn your vocals suck in the beginning. So many flat notes! Okay, so this song all basically came out of me walking down the sidewalk as usual and almost getting hit by a less-than-conscienscious bicyclist as usual, and thought of some words from the perspective of a lonely, bitter person who has frequent revenge fantasies while trying to stay motivated at their soul-crushing job. (I should point out, by the way, that while it is loosely based on some real-life experiences, the narrator isn't actually me, much as how I have never actually dreamed of being turned into a cartoon dog or been put in a mental institution or had a transsexual friend who drowned herself in a lake or any of the other dozens of disturbing things I've written songs about.) The song I had in my head sounded much more like Glenn Case but I can't really pull that sound off so it's basically a dark, brooding, and somewhat inept electronic cover of a nonexistent Glenn Case song. I didn't mean for my vocals to be so dispassionate but I'd redone them so many times I kind of forgot what I was doing. In retrospect I also notice a lot of weak spots on the bass. Sorry about that.

Doscientos: oh god my ears

Weakest Suit: obviously singing isn't your strongest suit hurr hurr hurrr. It sounds even shorter than it is since there really isn't much there.

Ujn Mullet: This is pretty okay. Somehow you have crammed a lot of song into just 2:20, without it feeling cramped.

King Arthur: Why hello, it is Charles! Is that Latin? It sounds like Latin. I don't think we've had any Benedictine Monk chants in Song Fight before, so that's probably a first (although I must admit that at this point I've only heard something like 30% of the increasingly-gigantic archive). I don't think monks ever say "needs more cowbell." Moonks?

Balls To Monte! HELLO! It has been forever since you've been here, hasn't it? Oh, I guess you entered in tw3rp, which I don't remember somehow. [EDIT: Just listened to that again, and now I remember it - and it sounded so much unlike your usual stuff! I really should have remembered that one.] You are still making the same kind of music as in the good old days BUT your sound is much tighter and cleaner now. This song is good and bouncy, and actually feels too short.

SomeGuyCalledNoel: I was just getting over the histamine response of Unfamous Jim. Although it doesn't have the usual triggers that make G&G so bad.

Ben Bradley: But this one does.

[jast]

I had this lying around on my hard disk for two days, except for about twenty words I hadn't put in yet. Here goes.

Back to the Arbitrary Review System. For all those new folks, please see the first link in my signature for details. Briefly: C = composition, L = lyrics, F = feeling, P = performance, M = mix/engineering. Lyrics are only officially reviewed if posted to the lyrics forum.

Balls To Monte -- 13/15
C:3 (I really like the writing here. Chorus reminds me of what I really like about the Beatles. Not too short.) L:* F:3 P:2 (Rather strained/pressing vocals. I like everything else.) M:3 (This mix has a lot of artificial room sound in it. Seems to fit it, but I'd have used a different artificial room.)

Ben Bradley -- 10/15
C:2 (A good first submission, I think. I tend to like songs that have a bit more variety in the compositional department. In straight G&G songs this is more difficult because you can't pile on the arrangement, so perhaps I can forgive some of it.) L:* F:2 P:1 (Guitar playing sounds a little bit jerky sometimes... but my main beef here is the vocalizing. It sounds like you are pulling falsetto way down below where it belongs. And you often take your sweet time hitting the notes. That's totally not cool. The falsetto thing is definitely the worse offense, though.) M:3 (Lo-fi but not in a bad way.)

Berkeley Social Scene -- 11/15
C:2 (This whole song just slips right on through and out the other ear. I don't really know why.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Awfully strainy vocals... overall timing seems great in all other tracks.) M:3 (Nice and clean. I don't really like the reverb on the guitar.)

Crack My Jaw -- 12/15
C:2 (Generic bluesy stuff mixed with other stuff in a way that doesn't convince me.) L:* F:2 (The random stylistic break kills a bit of this for me.) P:3 M:3 (But sounds a bit muted...)

Crank Radio -- 11/15
C:3 (I like the arrangement and soundscape. Perhaps I would have preferred more variety but I've heard significantly worse, especially in this sort of genre.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Vocals not quite up front enough. Sung vocals are strainy.) M:2 (Vocals not quite up front enough.)

Doscientos -- 8/15
C:1 (I might like this if I could make out more than about 30% of the compositional aspects.) L:* F:1 (This is mostly noise to me. This is distortion of the kind that just removes all definition from the sound...) P:2 (Vocal timing is not very good, I think. Is that a melody?) M:2 (Vocals sound boxy. As do drums.)

forkbomb -- 12/15
C:2 (It's a wee bit repetitive. Boo at the false ending. Fun stuff arranged into that, e.g. the (I think) vibrato-y vocals in the background, near the end?) L:2 (I sort of almost like the concept very much. Half of the minus point is for rhyming "time" with "rise".) F:3 P:2 (Vocals are rather nasal. Backup vocals sound a bit wimpy. Everything else sounds stellar.) M:3 (Crispy, well-leveled. I'm not sure if I like the off-center guitar.)

Gooey Caramel Centaur -- 11/15
C:2 (Verses feel bumpy, rhythmically.) L:2 (In my opionion there are way too many songs about feeling bad in normal situations.) F:3 (You've got groove.) P:2 (Some of the higher pitches don't flatter your voice.) M:2 (Background vocals are buried.)

Heipa -- 8/15
C:1 (This just goes on and on and doesn't do anything. I'm sure there are people who can appreciate that... I can't.) L:* F:1 (This is bathed in weirdness that I can see no point to.) P:2 (Vocals sound wimpy, as far as I can even hear them in all that noise.) M:2 (Vocals are way buried.)

The Howling Monkeys -- 13/15
C:2 (There are many things in this that I find hard to listen to. Lots of unresolved tension in the chords, rather sparse arrangement... oh well.) L:* F:3 (This stuff totally doesn't appeal to me but it's very good at being what it is.) P:3 (Excellent vocals and excellent everything else.) M:3 (Crisp. Perhaps use a higher bitrate next time?)

James Owens -- 11/15
C:2 (This is rather different by local standards. Plus it works. Chorus much more so than verses, though. Transitions are a bit iffy.) L:2 (Is this rambling? A grammatical flaw or two turned me off a bit.) F:2 (I think this could use more saturation and, more importantly, stronger and/or more compressed vocals). P:2 (Vocals are a bit weak. Everything else is fine.) M:3

Jan Krueger -- First I wanted to write a sad song. Then I wanted to write a silly song. Then I gravitated back towards sad. Then I thought, why not combine it. I ended up writing a sad slash evil song. Musically I think this was inspired by some songs by Damh The Bard. Features kitchen percussion and the first time I've managed to write a lead sheet in time for the fight.

King Arthur -- 12/15
C:2 (I realize it sort of comes with the, uh, genre... but there isn't much happening here.) L:2 (Again, this sort of works with the, uh genre, but it's not exciting on its own.) F:3 P:2 (I think you could have catapulted this recording into the "great" category by singing more fully. This has "held back" written all over it. The Latin pronounciation is probably not so good.) M:3 (I'm not completely convinced by the reverb, but it's not really bad or anything. Cowbell sounds a bit harsh, probably due to the sonic characteristics of the reverb on it.)

Moanin' Mississippi Fudge -- 7/15
C:1 (Boring.) L:* F:1 P:2 (I think the performance is actually quite good but I can't tell with all that weird stuff in the mix.) M:1 (The delay on the vocals and guitar is horrible. Weird filter on the vocals? Or sucky mic. Very essy. Clippy.)

Paco del Stinko -- 14/15
C:3 (That's a very interesting rhythm there in the intro.) L:2 (The concept is quite okay and I couldn't quite decide whether to give you 2 or 3 points. The lyrical rhythm in the last line(s) is a bit awkward.) F:3 (I have yet to find anything about it that I don't like. Seriously, this is great.) P:3 (Extra extra points for effort. I think you're doing some of the important things right on the high notes. You probably still strain, right? You hide it better than most here, though. ) M:3

Ross Durand -- 14/15
C:3 (Great arrangement. Bonus points for electric organ.) L:* F:3 (Appropriately mellow.) P:3 (Vocals are slightly off in some places.) M:3 (I think the acoustic guitars are a little bit too bass-heavy. Electric guitar is perhaps a bit too loud in some places.)

Signboy+Friends -- 12/15
C:3 (Great changes in this one. It's not up among the things I really like but you get extra points for inventiveness without overdoing it.) L:* F:2 P:3 (Great guitar, some of the vocals are a bit pitchy. Great harmonizing. I find the heavily distorted guitar a bit too heavily distorted.) M:2 (Vocals are buried. Could probably easily stand a global boost of +2dB.)

Sockpuppet -- 12/15
C:3 (I'm quite sure I like this more than I should.) L:2 (A few very awkward accents here. You can't go and stress it like "mo-VING," that's just evil. Okay concept.) F:3 P:2 (Okay, there are a few things wrong with the timing here, I think. The higher vocals are great. The lower vocals could use a bit more forwardness, if you know what I mean.) M:2 (I think the drumkit is way too present in the mix. Guitar is a bit weak in the highs. That's probably intended but I'd have cut off less of it, perhaps.)

SomeGuyCalledNoel -- 13/15
C:3 (Doesn't outstay its welcome. This is very you, of course, so how could I not like it?) L:2 (I'm still not a fan of cryptic lyrics.) F:3 P:3 (Guitar is slightly out of tune, I think. Great vocals.) M:2 (Mix sounds a bit dull...)

Ujn Mullet -- 12/15
C:3 (It's almost not varied enough but somehow it does work out in the end.) L:* F:3 P:3 M:1 (Buried vocals make this much less good than I imagine it could be. That's too bad, because in all other aspects the mix is good.)

umm -- 10/15
C:2 (Musically I think it's hard for this song to keep itself moving.) L:2 (Unsurprisingly, I don't get it.) F:2 P:2 (Vocals are a bit inaccurate sometimes; doubled vocals in particular really highlight that.) M:2 (I think the vocals are mixed in too thinly. All the phasing on the guitar is giving me a headache.)

The Unfamous Jim -- 11/15
C:2 (I like what you do there, but I'm not quite sure if it's enough to carry the song over the whole length.) L:* F:3 P:1 (Tune your guitar! Get your timing straight. Strumming sounds a bit mechanic in places. I think sometimes too many strings are muted.) M:3 (Obviously lo-fi but not in a bad way.)

Wages -- /15
C:3 (I like this. Enough movement in here. Likable melody.) L:2 (I like the concept, but its implementation doesn't dazzle.) F:2 (This depends strongly on the vocals. If they're not good... well, you get the picture.) P:2 (Actually your vocals are good, but they are rather off rather often. Guitar is a bit out of tune.) M:3 (I think the left guitar is a bit too loud. Slightly clippy.)

The Weakest Suit -- 11/15
C:2 (Nothing really stands out to me here. It's not bad, either.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Vocals are a bit pitchy and technique is inconsistent; most sustained notes sound held back.) M:3 (I think this could use more punch, though...)

Yngvi -- 11/15
C:2 (The piano part is great. The vocal rhythm doesn't quite explain itself. The breaks in the middle of sentences are irritating, and stretching it over three minutes doesn't help.) L:* F:2 (I think my main beef is that the piano and the vocals absolutely don't fit together... mostly because your vocals are just not up to competing with the sound of the piano.) P:2 (The piano is great. The vocals aren't. Perhaps the mic is too blame; more likely, the voice just needs training. More inflection and more resonance, please!) M:3

As you can see if you can make sense of the scoring, quite a few songs narrowly missed getting a vote. Votes go to Balls To Monte, Paco del Stinko, Ross Durand, SomeGuyCalledNoel, The Howling Monkeys. And myself.

[Reist]

umm -- The words are too difficult for me; maybe the meaning will dawn on me later.

L:2 (Unsurprisingly, I don't get it.)

If it helps, it's an apology song. I'll break it down for you guys. I know it won't buy me votes since it's a bit of a weird song, but maybe you can at least understand that the song makes sense.

sometimes it's hard
to keep yourself moving till night
wake up in the morning
is everything all right?

A friend of mine is going through rough times, and it's obvious to those around him/her. Lack of sleep is an obvious clue.

you'll find you are
a thief that still wants to do right
fake could still show them
you're gonna be fine

There's still hope for him/her, and even though he/she has faked and stolen certain experiences and personality traits, I feel as though he/she could be fine with some effort.

wherever you are
i feel I'm the one who's been trite
take a little potion
and fly a kite ...
what?
is everything all right?

Here's the apology - I realize even though I don't know where the person's at now, I now know I've been shallow in my judgement of their choices, some of which I've been guilty of as well ... hence the break from reality into talk of potion and flying a kite - pretty obvious references to drug and alcohol abuse, I thought. With the question - what? - I break out of my rambling and ask myself and my friend the question - is everything alright? Just kind of a reflection, I guess.

Does that make more sense? I'm not good at writing straight up literal stuff, but if you read into my lyrics even a little bit, I'm pretty sure they make sense.

ps -

I think the vocals are mixed in too thinly.

What do you mean by that? It's a new term to me. Also, could you give me an example of where my vocals were off, cause I'm always working to improve on vox.

[fluffy]

I feel like it is fairly common for fluffy to rhyme work and jerk in his songs. Anyone else notice this?

Oh, yeah, "Sunny Again." So that's two songs in the past 9 years?

(and it was a different sense of the word "work")

Oh hey Jon Eric won that fight.

[glennny]

Great Fight everyone!

Balls to Monte- I guess I’ve had your TW3RP song on my iPod for a couple of years, and that’s why your name was so familiar. This song is good. Good vocals, nice strong strumming. There’s a lot of reverb going on. I think the verse is much stronger than the chorus. Song is very short, but rather enjoyable!

Ben Bradley- 12 bar sloppy blues. G & G. Yuck. However, your goofy voice if kinda charming. Nice and short. Fun but not a keeper.

Berkeley Social Scene- Which Cindy Lauper song does this remind you of? So we had 2 Tuesdays in this song cycle. We wrote the music on the 1st session. We made a scratch recording, but we never nailed down the structure. The recording is all live with over dubbed vocals. So it is a live solo. I think the solo is the best part of the song, and the guitarmonies, and the chorus. It’s only a 16 bar solo people. I mean that should be a minimum. We were arguing a lot about the structure (in a friendly democratic way). I lost all the arguments. That’s OK, I love the result. I think it might be stronger if we ended at 3:45, but it is nice to hear the chorus again. So Lunkhead wrote the guitarmony part, damn that was hard, I had to practice it, and I still didn’t nail it like I wanted to. That Lunkhead sure is an excellent guitarist! Ken’s drums are HUGE! I like Martyrs vocals a lot too. His wife was very kind to let him come to jam night. They had a daughter on that Sunday in between those 2 Tuesdays. She’s lovely, and I’m very happy Martyr made it. This gets a vote.

Crack My Jaw- More blues. Tedious, but wait, a left turn. This gets pretty. Yeah I like the middle section. I couldn’t care less about the blues part. Nice vocals. Drums are desperately needed! Lyrics are pretty weak. I like the bass licks! Gosh, I wish there was a solo.

Crank Radio- Huge beat, I’m excited….. oh crap.. Rap? I thought you only rapped in French. This is way too English for me to like it. By that I mean I can understand it. Wow these are bad lyrics, and the rap does not flow. The music is pretty damn cool. Everything vocal about this I don’t like so much. Where’s the sweet Mico Saudad vocals? Good stuff going on, but I think the rap and vocals need several more takes.

Doscientos-Angular! Loud! Pitchy! However, this has BALLS! I love the energy! This sounds like Ex Girl a bit. I wish the vocal melody had more of a hook., or a change up. This is pretty rockin! Good stuff!

Forkbomb- TAFKATAFKAPANKAJTA never sounded better. The production is flawless and rather interesting! Performance is stellar! What a killer composition! I think the only thing that could make this better would be a guitar solo. This gets a huge vote! It is also my favorite of the fight!. AWESOME!

Gooey Caramel Centaur- This is pretty great! I love the backing vocals with the repeated title. Nice playing. Lots of reverb. The composition is a bit meandering, but enjoyable. I suppose you kept it moving. Aint nothing gonna break your stride. Very Cool!

Heipa- Frankly I’m bummed this wasn’t just an instrumental. The vocals brought with them a crap load of hiss. The reverb backwards space piano jam is very vibey. Yeah this is very cool, I don’t think you needed to sing at all. Good stuff!

Howling Monkeys- Hot Damn!!!! EXCELLENT production! All the instruments sound soooo crisp and tight. Vocals are great too. However this song is reminding me of every other jam band in the early 90’s. Great playing! I especially like the 1:50 riff. Aw yes, SWEET guitar solo! But it’s too damn short. The guitar solo was the most interesting part. I predict this will win. Well done.

James Owens- Pretty cool song, pretty terrible recording. I like the big unison riffs. Reminds me of Pygmy Twilight. This is a rather cool song. I’d love to hear a better recording of it.

Jan Krueger- The acoustics guitar licks are very pretty. Nice harmonies. I’m not into the story of the lyrics, so I get a bit bored when it clearly becomes the focus of the song. The singing is great, the playing is very good! I guess the song just doesn’t grab me, I need more of a hook. I enjoyed the listen though.

King Arthur- too mush verb. Nice singing. Nice hitting of a can. Nice translating and Latin. I keep wanting to hear the wood panels hitting your head like in the Holy Grail. I don’t get how this Psalm fits with the title. Other than, one piece of vagueness fits with another.

Moanin Mississippi Fudge- Among the worst songs I’ve ever suffered through on Song Fight. There is not a single aspect of this song I like one bit.

Paco del Stinko- Thank you for cleansing my ears! Damn, you’re such a good player! I love the bass line and the key swells. The country guitar is Awesome! The vocals are in my 3rd favorite PDS voice. The backing vocals are hilarious and cool! This gets a vote! This has my favorite ending in the fight!

Ross Durand- I know it’s you from the 1st strum, your production skills are wonderful. You can really make an acoustic sound great! This is among my favorite genres you dwell in. You seem in your element in this vibe. Everything sounds great. This is a keep and a vote getter. Structure is obvious, but when done well it really works!

Signboy- What’s going on with the out of tune vocals? There’s some cool licks in the solo. The recording seems sub par, especially knowing what you did in Nur Ein. Drum machine is a bit annoying. This seems like a scratch rough demo. Vocals need a lot of help.

Sock Puppet- Cool vocal melody! I love the harmonies. The drum machine is a bit annoying. The bass and guitar could be a lot tighter. I like the vocals a lot! Not really an ending, just stops. Pretty cool!

Some Guy Called Noel- Gorgeous!!!!! Excellent singing, melody, and guitar playing. I bet you could jerk a tear and steal a heart from every Literature Major who hears this. BIG VOTE! Your vocal delivery is what really sells this. Just Great! Maybe this will win.

Ujn Mullet- Nice rock! I like riff A a lot. Riff B doesn’t work as well for me. Riff C is very cool! The breakdown works well. I like the guitar solo tone, I wish it intensified more over the course of the solo. Cool ending!

Umm….- Like I’m not supposed to know this is Reist? Another name change? Another persona? Well this is spectacular! Drums are killer, guitar solo is cool. I even like that effect that seems to go on through out the whole song. It’s amazing to me this is almost 3 minutes, it feels like 88 seconds. I guess I’m left wanting more. Very cool song! VOTE

James Holmquist- Guy and Guitar. Nice voice. Hate the lyrics. Sloppy guitar playing. “Daddy don’t ford the River”?

Wages- things are out of tune. Sloppy loud and tough to listen to.

The Weakest Suit- Catchy chorus. I like the big ending.

Yngvi- Shut up and play your piano!


Votes:
Umm…
Some Guy Called Noel
Ross Durand
Paco del Stinko
Forkbomb
Berkeley Social Scene

[Adam!]

Great fight, the average quality level was really high. But, of course, there can only be one^H^H^Hmany winners.

Balls to Monte: Simple arrangement, but it works. Catchy melody / progression. Singing is great, but the vocals sound thin/distorted. Dig the cross-sticking, but the long bright drum reverb is ludicrously inappropriate. Love the swing (as evidenced by my own song this week). Feels about the right length. Possible vote.

Ben Bradley: Vocal tone bugs me, sounds stuffy-nosed or something. Pitch is too swoopy, but mostly lands on target. Lyrics are meh for me, except the "2nd person songs" line, which is genius. Guitar playing sounds solid. Melody/progression is hardcore generic.

Berkley Social Scene: Suddenly I'm underwater: everything's so muffled. Drums sound pretty great, although there's an occasional odd rumble on the kick that's distracting me. Maybe it's fighting with the bass? Not sure. Love the guitars, lots of cool little micro-riffs, and, aside from the gross verb sound, the tone is awesome. Vocals are among the better in this fight, but the phrasing on a few lines ("a-LARM! pullsyou outuva night-MARE!") sounds wack and the high part of the chorus sounds uncomfortable. Possible vote.

Crack My Jaw: Oh baby I got the generic-chord-progression blues. Like the lead guitar a lot. Singing is great, but the vocal could definitely be more upfront. Lyrics feel like a blues madlib. Woah, the bridge is awesome, I totally dig it. If the whole song had been done in that style this would be a vote. Like the chord at the end.

Crank Radio: Against my better judgment I find myself liking this song a lot. I dig the beat, but it should really be way way up in the mix for this kind of music. Most of the instrumentation is all clustered in the same range, some of it should really be moved up an octave. Hate the fakey guitar sound, cut that. The bass riff kind of wanders all over the place, could be a little more focused. Why is everything panned center? You pull off the the kanye stuff well; those harmonies are a good example of something that could be panned to the side to achieve a bigger sound. "You never wanna go nowhere, tell me how do you plan to get somewhere when you never go nowhere" is such an awful line, and the delivery on it is so very Flea Market Montgomery, that it alone keeps me from voting for this song. Harmonies / Postal Service stuff at the end sounds awesome. Every time the title is spoken in this song it elicits a small groan.

Doscientos: Uhhhhh, was there a mixdown problem? Sounds like the whole mix went through a chorus and an overdrive pedal. That guitar tone is crazy. Chorus is awesome, verses are meh. Vocal tone is super fingernails-on-a-chalkboardy.

Forkbomb: "Thun-! Der!". Why is this song so quiet? Intro build-up is too abrupt. I like the swung part. The vocals in the first verse are good, but a bit too loud. Cowbell should be louder, I can hardly hear it. Like the choir bits a lot. Are you saying "can't help if the fags get in my way"? The fast parts sound thin, like some guitars are missing or something. In the second verse the vocals are much sloppier, both pitch and timing -wise; if I were you (and I am) I would either use autotune or just retake them. The acoustic guitar playing and tone are also poorer in the second verse. That tom pattern at 1:55 sounds fucking awesome, make that part longer. The ending drags just a little bit. I like that guitar at the very end, it sounds like a tenor sax being put through a trash compactor. Even though the mix is a little wack, this gets a vote.

GCC: 5/4, ok, I'm listening. Uh, did you record every track independently and just moosh them together? It's sloppier than a drunken Jackson Pollack. The normal part is pretty catchy. Singing as nice. Why do people love reverb so much in this fight?

Heipa: I've been teleported to the Found-Sound Jazz Lounge. I like the atmosphere. Vocals are very nice, even if they sound like Thom Yorke singing from the bottom of a K-hole. This song accurately simulates being in a light coma. Possible vote.

Howling Monkeys: Holy hell that bass is awesome. This is so funky. Best vocals in the fight: tight and on perfect pitch. Pan this stuff away from center. Electric sounds like the stereo polarity is reversed. More snare reverb, but at least it's fairly tasteful. Vote, also fav.

Jim Owen[s] the Second: The skipping part is super annoying. Then it goes into some kind of Black Dog cover. Those low harmonies are very impressive. That distorted guitar tone is just horrifying. Verse is very cool, nice and catchy with good playing. This song sorely needs some drumming. I like everything except the parts that repeat the title. Lyrics are distractingly literal. Possible vote.

Jan: Beautiful guitar tone. LOUD vocals. Vocal inflection is kind of shaky, especially in the second verse. Harmonies are a touch dissonant. Lyrics are kind of stupid. The ending melody is awesome.

King Art: Now HERE is an appropriate use of reverb. Very beautiful melody, and incredibly tight multitracking. Cowbell strikes me as bafflingly out of place. Very cool. Possible vote.

Fudge: There we have it: the worst guitar tone I've ever heard on songfight. Congrats. The vocal tone is equally bad: just awful noise reduction. The solo is pretty nice, but marred by the unintelligibly marblemouthed running commentary ("aww yeah, play that funky music, me"). Really really awful.

Paco: I never noticed how edgy your vocal tone is: do you use a harmonic exciter or somesuch? I don't think I've ever heard a dance beat in a Paco song before: it's a nice change of pace, but I don't prefer it. "Juice"... "snacks"... feels like you were hitting the rhyming dictionary pretty hard on these verses. I like the bridge the most, as far as melody/progressions go: otherwise, the intended hooks don't really land for me. Is that a harmonizer pedal I hear on the guitar at the end? Whatever it is, it sounds cool. Like a lot of songs in this fight, your delivery of the title has an awkward rhythm.

Ross: Very pretty. Chord progression is familiar, but you put a nice spin on it. Muffley acoustic. Lyrics make no sense to me, but sound good, same sort of feel I was going for too. Love the understated solo. Vote.

Signboy: Boring drum sound. Bad melody, sung poorly. Bland guitars followed by ugly guitars. The solo is this song's only saving grace, and even it is annoyingly wanky, exactly the opposite of Ross's. Fun Fact: basses are not expensive.

Sockpuppet: Singing and harmonies are really nice, in a sleepy sort of way (which fits the theme). This melody is possibly the catchiest in the fight. Hate the verse lyrics, though: too many irritating rhymes. Something is weird about the bass timing that's really throwing me off with this song. The glockenspiel in the bridge is a nice touch. I wish this song had a different drum sound, or maybe just a tone that fits the instrumentation a bit better. Poppiness goes a long way for me: Vote.

Noel: Fucking perfect. Vote.

Mullet: More gross reverb. Was there a firesale at the reverb store? Juicy bass tone, too bad the timing isn't tighter. Sounds like you--as do I--suffer from the too-much-hi-hat-in-the-overheads blues. This song rocks so fucking hard. Amazing riffs and solos. Melody and vocals are solid, too. Vote.

Umm...: Let's just change the name of this site to ReverbFight. WetMixContest.org? That guitar effect is cool for, like, two seconds. I can't tell what chords you're playing. As always, drums performance is awesome. We should talk shop about toms someday, I can never get mine sounding that good. Because you asked, I did infact play the drums in my song (I'm waay too lazy to sequence that), but I'm balls at drums so I edited them to be on tempo, which makes them feel a little Mr. Roboto. The ending is edited down from a seven or eight minute jam (it took all my willpower to cut my sloppy tom solos), and in a few places where I try to hit the kick and snare together at the same time you can hear the kick lag pretty far behind; that's probably more indicative of my drumming skills. Meh, my teacher was RockBand. Back to your song, I'm not sure I dig that snare sound... sounds kind of like you're hitting a bucket. Singing is good, but I don't care for the melody and can't make out the words underneath the wash of verb. That guitar solo is hella cool.

James: Hah, this song had me laughing pretty good. Brings back memories. From reading the other reviews, it's clear that no one actually listens to the songs, they just read the id3 tags. This is surprisingly well written, for such silly subject matter. Aww, I wish you hadn't name dropped the game at the end: I liked feeling like I was in on the joke. That great chorus earns you a possible vote.

Wages: Hey Raine. The singing is mostly on-pitch, but then one out of every five or so notes is way out. Don't dig the solo. Melody is good. The song needs... more.

Weakest Suit: The three-armed drummer returns! Perhaps he has a prehensile tail? Don't care for the mostly-one-chord verse. Chorus is good. Cloned verse feels lazy. Ending rocks hard.

Yng: Hah, no. That "No! No! Stop!" stuff at the end is hot.


All in all, really good fight. All the songs were well written, even the joke songs. Having not recorded anything in quite a while, I'm pleased to confirm that it IS infact like riding a bike. Except now, with an expanded collection of instruments, a new-found and frankly unwarranted confidence in my singing voice, and a blistering disrespect for the opinions of others, it is like going from a unicycle to a ten-speed.

Votes (in order from good-est to just-barely-made-it-est): Monkeys, Noel, The Mullet, my own bad self, Ross, Sockpuppet,... um, James H.

Edit: Whoops, jumbled Signboy and Weakest Suit's reviews. That's sorted out now.

[AJOwens]

glennny asked:

Berkeley Social Scene- Which Cindy Lauper song does this remind you of?

Just the first couple of bars remind me of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Keep in mind that I'm a bass player, so the rhythm section stands out for me.
----

Reviews! Yay!

glenny wrote:

James Owens- Pretty cool song, pretty terrible recording. I like the big unison riffs. Reminds me of Pygmy Twilight. This is a rather cool song. I’d love to hear a better recording of it.

Thanks. I must look up Pygmy Twilight. I agree that the recording could be better. It lacks spaciousness. Short of throwing on some reverb and panning things all over the place, I don't know how to fix that. I will patiently try things out, but any time-saving tips are welcome.

Adam! wrote:

Jim Owen[s] the Second: The skipping part is super annoying. Then it goes into some kind of Black Dog cover. Those low harmonies are very impressive. That distorted guitar tone is just horrifying. Verse is very cool, nice and catchy with good playing. This song sorely needs some drumming. I like everything except the parts that repeat the title. Lyrics are distractingly literal. Possible vote.

Drums would help a lot, but I have no room for a kit. When I get the basement all finished, maybe. I have no idea whether that unison riff or something like it is on vinyl somewhere -- I hate heavy metal. My distortion pedal cost $39 CDN; noted.

jast wrote:
James Owens -- 11/15
C:2 (This is rather different by local standards. Plus it works. Chorus much more so than verses, though. Transitions are a bit iffy.) L:2 (Is this rambling? A grammatical flaw or two turned me off a bit.) F:2 (I think this could use more saturation and, more importantly, stronger and/or more compressed vocals). P:2 (Vocals are a bit weak. Everything else is fine.) M:3

Glad you liked the song. The lyrics are ranting, but I hope not rambling. There are no grammatical errors; were you thinking of my pronoun choices? You're right, the transition to the "skipping" riff is weak; I'm not sure whether there was too little time for the previous notes to die down, or a sheer mechanical problem getting to the fret. Thanks very much for the specific suggestions about the vocals.

fluffy wrote:

James Owens: This is nice and funkily early-Zappa. The mixing could be a lot better though. The vocals are a bit muddy, and the hard-panned distorted guitar is too tinny and feels like it's just sort tof off to the side. I like how the chorus evokes a skipping record at times, which fits the theme nicely. The lyrics seem a bit old, though - is this really an anti-GWB-in-Iraq rant? I think that subject matter is pretty well played-out by now.

Keep in mind that this song was due on 9-11, as news continued to come in about the corrupt Afghanistan elections. And several Canadians came home in body bags from Afghanistan just this week. Is the post-9-11 subject matter played out? I don't think so. But I admit, if it hadn't been for the date, I might have written about Obama's health care adventures instead.

Interesting how the chorus and verse evoke different reactions from different reviewers. Thanks to all for giving me your opinions.

[AJOwens]

Reist asked, following elucidation of some obscure lyrics:
Does that make more sense?

Barely -- even when they're explained. The lyrics are extremely elliptical regarding the situation, and on top of that they're written in code, with unexplained allusions like "thief" and "fake," and then on top of that they concatenate words into sentences with no obvious meaning like"fake could still show them you're gonna be fine," and then they pull things from a hat without any context, like "I feel I'm the one who's been trite." I don't mean to be harsh, but really, you're making us do all the work here.

Some suggestions: Pick a metaphor and run with it. If it's a thief, then what did they steal, what was stolen, who was robbed, were they caught? This gives us more clues and a way to glue them together. Give us an early indication of who's talking to whom (I would have no idea from verse 1 whether this is addressed to a friend or simply introspective). And if you write a line like "fake could still show them," ask yourself if maybe some words are missing that might give other people a chance to figure it out.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Thanks for the reviews people. I'll get to work on mine. (waaay overdue in recent fights)

Some replies:

This takes a "life sucks" approach to the title

I thought it was more of a picking yourself up song, rather than life sucks. Maybe I'm wrong. Glad you got a kick out of it, though.

Actually, this might be my favorite Paco song yet.

Glad to gear it! Yes, the rhymes are lame. Let this be a lesson to you on not re-working lyrics. The secret to good writing? Re-writing.

The vocals are in my 3rd favorite PDS voice.

Ha! And the first is Creepy Uncle, or something like that, right?

edgy your vocal tone is: do you use a harmonic exciter or somesuch? and Is that a harmonizer pedal I hear on the guitar at the end

My voice is just abrasive, I think. But no, no exciter, just EQ and compression, short delay and 'verb. The guitars at the end are three part harmony while the bass does a simple harmony under the baritone guitar. I'd like to add that I always learn something from your reviews and appreciate your direct and helpful approach, Thanks!

[deetak]

comments on a couple:


James Owens - This is great all around (composition, facility of melody) (lyrics handled well for a song like this, which is in my experience, pretty rare, especially because of the length) (I agree the recording quality isn't the best, but it doesn't get in the way). I think the quicker singing parts are well written, it's just that the vocal delivery could be more confident there. "Don't slow down" part is nice.

SomeguycalledNoel - Melody is great those first verses, I also like how "them" and "one" are sung in those verses. Lyrics too.

Ones that weren't my favorite, but also had parts I liked:

Sockpuppet - Catchy verses. The "why would I?" parts in relation to what comes before

The opening of Gooey Caramel Centaur's is interesting (part that goes till 33 seconds in). Signboy and Friends - The "such a false machine" around 35 seconds in, to 1:04, is cool. King Arthur. Yngvi. Riff of BSS intro, and solo.

[jast]

Thanks for some excellent feedback, people. A few comments to that:
Andrew: on one hand, I can hardly write a song that's sort of about depression and put tons of emotions into it. That's not what depression is. On the other hand, I'm currently tearing down and rebuilding my singing technique with professional instruction, and you just can't do really great technique when singing quietly (apart from that, whispery really doesn't fit with the way I imagined the song when I wrote it). I'll get back to these things as I go along. Oh, and compression makes it hard to hear the different between louder and quieter parts anyway, unless you really overdo it.
fluffy: I absolutely don't hear anything off the way you describe it. You must have better pitch perception. Can you tune my guitars from now on?
Adam: yeah, I absolutely agree about the inflection. I'm working on that. The harmonies are meant to be dissonant to some extent, if you meant the diminished fifths.

Now for the questions:

Andrew: I was basically talking about the frequency makeup of the vocal track in your song. It sounds a bit like it was recorded through a telephone; there are pretty much no low (or even low-to-mind) frequencies at all... or at least it sounds like that. The rather harsh reverb (i.e. very strong early reflections on the high-frequency parts, i.e. no dampening of the reverb) makes it even worse. This could also be because other tracks are overpowering that part of the spectrum; it might help to experiment with reducing the output of other tracks around, I don't know, 200-400 Hz or so.
James: actually, perhaps it's more of a semantic thing than a grammatical. You have this in your lyrics: "Only a jerk lets the turkeys get you down". To me it reads like the "you" is supposed to refer to the jerk. That doesn't work too well. If that wasn't what you meant, just ignore everything I said.

[fluffy]

This morning I woke up with Berkeley Social Scene's entry stuck in my head. It is freaking catchy. Good work, guys.

[AJOwens]

Paco del Stinko wrote:

AJOwens wrote:
This takes a "life sucks" approach to the title

I thought it was more of a picking yourself up song, rather than life sucks. Maybe I'm wrong. Glad you got a kick out of it, though.

In every song, we had to indicate why it's sometimes hard to keep movng. In your case, "the family nags" etc. That''s all I meant. Obviously it's a joyful song.

deetak wrote:
(I agree the recording quality isn't the best, but it doesn't get in the way). I think the quicker singing parts are well written, it's just that the vocal delivery could be more confident there.

Thanks for the comment. I can't rap whatsoever. As for the recording quality, that's one area where I especially want to improve.

jast wrote:
actually, perhaps it's more of a semantic thing than a grammatical. You have this in your lyrics: "Only a jerk lets the turkeys get you down". To me it reads like the "you" is supposed to refer to the jerk. That doesn't work too well.

Fair enough, that one got right by me. But "Only a jerk lets the turkeys get him/her/them down" wouldn't have worked either, because the modified expression would have attracted notice. I guess I could have written "Don't be a jerk, don't let the turkeys get you down."

[Adam!]

Man I could go for some jerk turkey right now.

Or maybe some turkey jerky.

[Adam!]

So, I sat down and actually mixed my song proper-like (what I submitted was just however my project sounded when I stopped recording, about 10 minutes before the deadline). No sweeping changes, just a much-improved balance/tone and a few timing fixes. While mixing I discovered that the closet I used as a vocal booth gave me a somewhat boxy sound that has been bugging me, so I guess it's time to go buy some more insulation.

Sometimes It's Hard To Keep Yourself Moving (Mixed)