The Song Fight Bulletin Board

garden gnomes vs bar mitzvah - a JBBfight! song
performed by swedish masturbation unit

[narrator]
eternally dwarf
in misshapen clothes
what misshapen tales
might he hold?
a funny hat to shade
such cheerful expressions
a sorry facade that
is eager to lessen?

[gnome]
there's a vow little known outside of wee-folk
about the origins of twee landscaping gnomes
if I break it I am cursed - frozen in a stare
I can never tell the secret of bar mitzvah's lair

[bar mitzvah]
eye of beholder! face of a cherub!
ear of a dali! a body ceramic!
you shall tend to the shrubs and the wee folkish ruins
but you can't tell a soul unless you wish a freakish doom!

garden gnome
far from a flower bed
or miniature Dutch-like village says
salome tugs his beard just so
and enters the magic land of bar mitzvah

[narrator]
so they toiled in the rains of harshest winters stew
after hundreds of years the strain was showing through

[gnome]
no longer should we work ceaselessly
we need a hero, a champion a paul muadib!

YO! I gotta call!
staged a military coo planned a bar mitzvah hit
their mighty kung fu grip equipped force legit
and messed bar mitzvah up quite a bit
she wouldn't quit and thus forfeit on the wrong end of a barbecue spit

garden gnome
far from a flower bed
or miniature Dutch-like village says
salome tugs his beard just so
and enters the magic land of bar mitzvah
garden gnome
the weeds are pets and the coral bells
just won't stop ringing since
the strange magic queen is dead
bar mitza's dead
bar mitza's dead