My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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wickedcripple
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by wickedcripple »

LOL yeah, i COMPLETELY get that .. I did the song like the day before the deadline .. and TRUST me, there will be a remake of the drum line .. I didn't catch it, and a few other things till after I submitted. Plus after the 20th take, my voice was fried on that high part or two. I do like my song, i had my Fiance' in mind when i wrote it .. so it's a love song. :) but i agree HEAVILY it needs work. btw, I LOVE ALL your STUFF. If you don't get signed to an indie label soon (unless you have), there is no justice in music. :) Thanks for the input.

(Quote)
Billy Oh! - no vote because putting a cymbal crash on the end of every line is quite annoying. this has got a fairly good 80s style Ultravox or whatever synthy vibe and the main melody is decent enough but it's too repetitious, as is the chord progression, arp, percussion, etc.
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Manhattan Glutton
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

jb wrote:So I feel justified in refusing to allow you to cop out with that sentence.
I can both feel self-conscious of my lyrics and accept them at the same time. But that's fine - you don't have to buy that. I appreciate the high standard you are holding me to.
jb wrote:I feel like you're making up reasons after the fact to justify your unwillingness to edit yourself.
My last two winning songs were 4:24 and 1:42, respectively. In all honesty, I set out to write a 5+ minute song here; it was partially inspired by a 5+ minute song that I absolutely adore. I knew it would be a big criticism, but I don't feel that length is a valid criticism unless it's boring. You thought the lyrics were boring (I thought my music kept it alive), so let's leave it at that.
jb wrote:Sounds like an insult, but I'm not offended.
No insults were intended whatsoever. I have loads of respect for you and your opinions.
jb wrote:I don't believe you.
You don't have to, but I was just dishing back some humor to your humorous reviews. Normally, I don't respond to criticism; I've been around long enough to know that's a losing battle.
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jb
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by jb »

So it's clear, Manhattan Glutton, I think you rock. Didn't want my snark to make you think otherwise.

Also I must have the last word.

JB
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by hillbilly »

Wicked Cripple---- enjoyed this, you did way better than last week. And if it dosent work out with your fiance' tell her to call me :D
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by bdog5778 »

MG,

I think the only reason your song feels a little "long" is because it's missing a bitchin' guitar solo during the breakdown (yes, I realize this might step on the gorgeous/perfect piano stuff). Of course, The length is okay to me because I grew up with Metallica's "...And Justice For All" and "Aenima" by Tool. I enjoy all 13 minutes of "Third Eye" because I can. 8-)

Back to the original point: tear it up, man. A few measures of "ahs", a few with the piano, and then a) some melodic bends with loads of vibrato, b) some speedy scale-work, and c) some soaring octaves. Part a) should sound like uncontrolled chaos a la the beginning of the solo on "Starla" by the Smashing Pumpkins. http://youtu.be/pnFeCex032g?t=5m28s

Also, when the vox come back in, perhaps an acoustic before you go big again? I'm thinking the second half of "Superman's Dead" by Our Lady Peace ("Doesn't anybody ever know?"). http://youtu.be/8CBBtorFg2I?t=2m33s I know you already have a clean electric, I just think an acoustic would be the perfect flavor right there. Just my $0.02.

Despite these critiques, this song is still all WIN and still has a place on my iphone.
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wickedcripple
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by wickedcripple »

:) hehe Thanks Hillbilly :) I just RE-worked the music part .. got rid of the constant splash, added some instruments .. made it alot better. But gonna work on the voice now .. (my voice was roached wheni cut it before)
hillbilly wrote:Wicked Cripple---- enjoyed this, you did way better than last week. And if it dosent work out with your fiance' tell her to call me :D
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

Bdog - Thanks again for the kind words and feedback. I'll let you know if/when I remix/remaster this puppy. For posterity's sake, I'd like to point out that the "clean" electric guitar you're hearing is actually an acoustic guitar running through an amp simulator. I was trying to get a particularly lo-fi grungy sound out of it - just the mood I was in, I suppose. (not that that makes it any better)
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Re: First impressions, from a prick

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Märk wrote: Pigfarmer Jr: With a bit of production, this could be a powerpop masterpiece. As it is, it's a bit sloppy and clunky, but I'll throw you a vote anyway.
If/when you have time would you expand on that 'bit of production?' Give me some specifics if you don't mind. And thanks for the review.
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by dirgetheband »

As I didn’t participate this week, I’m only going to review the songs I like and the ones that I have some definitive comment about. Sorry Monkey Touchers.

BGM – I wanted drums at some point. Maybe beginning as an accent fill at 1:52, or full on with the harp entrance at 1:59.

BSS – Okay, maybe just me, but with the first lightly plum muted chord did anyone think the lyrics were going to go “Got my first real six string, bought it at the five and dime”? Oh, just me? That’s fine. Rhythm section sounds really strong this go-around. I like your guys’ tunes when the rhythm section is direct and powerful. The pre-choruses (at 0:28 and 1:28) are missing something, maybe some keys, maybe another guitar line, to tie the verses to the choruses. All-in-all a very typically well done BSS song.

Billy & TP – I must not be listening to much King Crimson lately and as such, many things this week are reminding me of them in a valiant attempt by my subconscious to fill that insufferable void. This one reminds me of The King Crimson Barber Shop Trio that is found on the expanded edition of Three Of A Perfect Pair. This is a hilariously demented acapella rock tune. Awesome work. Did you guys set out with a clear idea of how the tune would sound or did it just sort of end up like this? Den’s vocals fit with this one better than any she’s sung on yet, with the only exception perhaps being Has Been For Years. The song builds really, really well. Nice mixing and mastering job, too. The song is loud, but not too loud. Perfect drop instrumental drop out at 1:10.

Dejected Motives – I know that you are shocked at how the tune sounds, but really, if you could have just mastered the vocals properly, it might have been kind of cool. I like the overdriven sound on the instruments, but of course, on the vocals, it doesn’t work. So yeah, I wouldn’t completely write this off.

Guiterrorists – Is this Paco on bass? Sounds like a Paco rhythm section. Guitar work, obviously, is pretty good. Mmm, I take it back – this is obviously not Paco on bass at 0:47. The bass seems, like, you know, kind of, but maybe not really, well, ummm… unsure of itself. It needs to drive the song more as there isn’t much in terms of rhythm guitar. Almost all Satch inspired leads, so yeah, bass needs to be BIGGER and STRONGER. Great feedback note to end.

Heine – I love the phrasing of the opening verse lyrics. Duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh, duh, duh duh duh. Awesome.

JBB – I don’t think the autotune worked its desired magic. I would have preferred a flanger or some sort of filter. I love 1:22-1:34.

Klownhole – Holy shit, where did this come from? Seriously, have you like completely changed your recording gear in the last two months? My first exposure to you was the tune for Has Been For Years. At the time I thought it was horrible. Then came Last Afternoon… It was much, much better, but still had some issues. Now, given this (almost perfect) entry, I see what you’ve been looking for the whole time. If you went back and rerecorded those songs with this sound, they'd be killer. The drums are huge. I’m assuming you used either a drum machine, drum replacement, or some kind of electronic drum emulator program. Or maybe they’re real. Whatever, they’re awesome. Vocal delivery is perfect for the tune. You have a certain timbre about your voice that I’m assuming, like me, makes singing your least favorite part of the creation. This song benefits from the unique sound of the vocals, so good work on that front. Guitars, bass are fucking huge, too. The keys over top bring it all together. Not sure, but I think the line is “hairy buttholes”. That's funny. So this is a (homosexual) breakup song? I love it. The riff does remind me of King Crimson’s Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With – but that’s like the most awesome song ever, so that is a good thing. Great work! HEEY! GOOH!

The Pannacotta Army – Again, best song of the Fight, hands down. Please, pretty please give me a remixed version where you reduce the levels on the bass and take a little of the boominess out of it. Also, your little keyboard run at 2:12 would be better served as 4 notes rather than 8. The quickness just doesn’t jive with the rest of the song's atmosphere. I’m going to use the word texture (that’s what a lot of people mentioned about my entry last go around) and this song is full of it. I just love the opening single acoustic notes, the gentle strummed chords, the relaxed vocal delivery, the subtle keys layered on top of it all. Amazing. It’s a beautifully melancholic song delivered in a non-brooding way. Anathema, Lake of Tears, Katatonia, The Gathering, The Thought Industry. This song could have been written by any of these groups at some point in their careers and wouldn’t sound out of place. Fantastic work.

Ross Durand – This is my favorite song of yours, ever. That’s saying a lot ‘cause you’ve written some great tunes. I love the “omps” and “domps” that act as the bass throughout. Is that your actual voice or is it a midi replacement sound? I can tell the “doots” beginning at 0:58 are you. Given the lyrical concept, I am amazed that the song never ventures into chessy land - it always stays in beautiful land. Amazing job.

Semolina Pilchards – Dude, you mix your vocals lower than even I do.
DT
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Re: First impressions, from a prick

Post by Märk »

Pigfarmer Jr wrote:
Märk wrote: Pigfarmer Jr: With a bit of production, this could be a powerpop masterpiece. As it is, it's a bit sloppy and clunky, but I'll throw you a vote anyway.
If/when you have time would you expand on that 'bit of production?' Give me some specifics if you don't mind. And thanks for the review.
Just minor production things; a few more takes on the vox (they are performed well mostly, but a few places here and there are off time/off key and could have used another take, plus they could sit in the mix a bit better), the guitars need to be just a touch louder/more overdriven (this is my own personal taste, but listen to some Cheap Trick or The Knack or Cars or Weezer to see what I mean... the style of the song fits that genre). These are just production issues, and are unimportant in the songfight arena AFAIC, the important thing is the song IMO, which I think is really good. It's just that some people will dismiss a song here if it doesn't sound like it was produced by Bob Ezrin. (I'm not one)

You can add the final "gloss" to a song by running it through a mastering plugin like Izotope Ozone or T-Racks.
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Dejected_Motives »

Actually, you don't understand. I had it sounding much better before I started having ASIO issues and turned up all of my levels. Unfortunately, I never restarted my computer and was unable to hear the song how I had originally recorded it. Does that make sense? Here, this is what the song sounded like before my ASIO issues..

http://soundcloud.com/dejected_motives/thats-enough


Issues I believe I may have fixed actually... I'm hoping anyway...
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

dirgetheband wrote: Billy & TP – I must not be listening to much King Crimson lately and as such, many things this week are reminding me of them in a valiant attempt by my subconscious to fill that insufferable void. This one reminds me of The King Crimson Barber Shop Trio that is found on the expanded edition of Three Of A Perfect Pair. This is a hilariously demented acapella rock tune. Awesome work. Did you guys set out with a clear idea of how the tune would sound or did it just sort of end up like this? Den’s vocals fit with this one better than any she’s sung on yet, with the only exception perhaps being Has Been For Years. The song builds really, really well. Nice mixing and mastering job, too. The song is loud, but not too loud. Perfect drop instrumental drop out at 1:10.
Thanks, Dirge. You hit the nail on the head. I've never heard the King Crimson barber shop, so I youtubed it. Very cool and yes, I'd have to say they were in the same frame of mind as Den and I when we did this one, lol. We did set out to do it the way you hear it, but originally it was only going to be acoustic instruments and mouths. The drum machine came in towards the end to help it build. It is our 12th song as B&TP and we decided we need a palette cleansing song to clear our heads and kind of reorganize. I told Den I'd have no trouble performing this live with confidence and a shit eating grin. :lol:
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Re: First impressions, from a prick

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Märk wrote:
Pigfarmer Jr wrote:
Märk wrote: Pigfarmer Jr: With a bit of production, this could be a powerpop masterpiece. As it is, it's a bit sloppy and clunky, but I'll throw you a vote anyway.
If/when you have time would you expand on that 'bit of production?' Give me some specifics if you don't mind. And thanks for the review.
Just minor production things; a few more takes on the vox (they are performed well mostly, but a few places here and there are off time/off key and could have used another take, plus they could sit in the mix a bit better), the guitars need to be just a touch louder/more overdriven (this is my own personal taste, but listen to some Cheap Trick or The Knack or Cars or Weezer to see what I mean... the style of the song fits that genre). These are just production issues, and are unimportant in the songfight arena AFAIC, the important thing is the song IMO, which I think is really good. It's just that some people will dismiss a song here if it doesn't sound like it was produced by Bob Ezrin. (I'm not one)


You can add the final "gloss" to a song by running it through a mastering plugin like Izotope Ozone or T-Racks.
Thank you.
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by glennny »

Das ist genug

BGM- Holy crap this is delicious! The recording is very impressive. Flawless I dare say. I love the chord pattern and the melody atop it. The backing vocals are amazing. I even like the harmonica solo. Although I wish I got a PM from you asking me to play lead guitar on a solo section of this. This would be super fun to solo over, (although it might scare off some votes). It’s gold! Excellent job! VOTE!

Billy & the Psychotics- This is great. It’s also highly unexpected. It’s short , it’s sweet. The melodies are memorable. You guys have more weapons than I previously thought. One these days this kind of pop melody will fit into your rock band arsenal and it will be epic. Cool stuff! Vote.

Billy Oh- The keys sound great! I dig the riff. Your vocals are fantastic! What is up with the hiss that comes in and out? Especially in the breakdown at 0:57 to 1:11. I do not like the drum sound or pattern very much. The vocal melody is good. I think the arpeggio in the keys although awesome, over stays its welcome. I wish one of the verses had solid chords. Yeah, this song works a lot better in the truck than on headphones, the hiss that comes in and out is really annoying. So songwriting, I think you need more variation. The production needs some control of that hiss, or better yet consistency with it. Constant hiss I can get used to, but that loud hiss that drops and comes back in weird times I don’t like. This song also has a pretty poor ending, with a whimper not so much of a bang. The lyrics are bit trite, but not awful. You have great vocals, good songwriting with room for improvement, and some production issues. No vote, but I enjoyed it!

Dejected Motives- I got tired of this stuff in the 80’s. I haven’t really recovered from 80’s synth pop. Okay submitted version is almost unlistenable. Now listening to the Soundcloud version. The mix is far better, I’m a little sad that that synth line is not distorted. The distortion was cool, though overdriven. Man the 4 on the floor never goes away. It seems you have a solid verse idea. A dance track to be sure. This desperately needs some changes and variation. I don’t hear a chorus. It’s not a bad 80’s synth groove, but I need more. Looking forward to next entry

Grease Monkey- I like video games. I don’t like hiss. I don’t like out of tune vocals. There’re some cool synth lines in this. Is someone playing something? Is it all samples? Drums are annoying. Really would like to hear a bass line too. Lyrics are painful.

Guiterrorists- Yes! Will this be the instrumental to finally win a fight? I don’t think it’s been done. (I think the Cloud Cuckoo instrumental was robbed). Anyway, I love this. There’s some excellent soloing going on here. There’s a bit of the Satriani syndrome here where the bass and drums are a little uninteresting, which drags down the guitars. I was a Satriani fan, then I saw Steve Morse and it was a revelation. It was my gateway into serious jazz and fusion too. The drums and bass are played well, I just think their lines are pulled back, but not necessarily as supportive as they can be. I take it back, in the 0:45 to 1:07 section (single coil Hell) the bass is doing the most awesome licks. So who is playing what? I mean what guitar and amp? Is there a “head” to this? I don’t hear themes returning. As far as I can tell it is through composed. I really enjoy the playing. The mix is strange, I love loud drums but that hi-hat is overshadowing some of the best soloing. I don’t think this will be the instrumental to do it, but valiant effort! Please do more of this kind of thing!

Heine- That Funky Town call out is hilarious! It is certainly different enough, but I get the reminder. For me it reminded me of Ghostbusters. So it is 80’s and it’s catchy! These are some of my least favorite lyrics ever. What would you score yourself on lyrics for this one? They are soooooo mundane and when they’re not they’re cliché. The production is solid, the vocals are done well. I like the melody. I wish I couldn’t make out those lyrics, they are just terrible. I mean, I’m glad you’re happily married with kids, but why is that a song? Is this off the album: “I’m making a peanut butter sandwich”? There might be a song in the “…sometimes you have to say no…” like Mike Oldfield’s “Family Man”. Sometimes songs are better when you can’t understand the lyrics. Actually this might get that foreign film mystique and respect if it was all in German. Cool music, bad song.

Hip Hop Anonymous- Not interesting enough to overcome my genre bias. Sorry, not my thing. Please go listen to Bootsy and turn your funk levels up.

JBB- Do we really need more science? You can make this music on the plane in 4 hours? I’m jealous of your vocals! They are fantastic! It’s a great lot of melodies. I’d kill the echo and the auto tune. I wonder if I would have thought this had I not read your description, but there is a sense of you trying out your software “what does this sound like?” I like the later verses better than the early long note ones, I guess more than anything I like the variation. Above all I think this is a well written song, so though the production and timbres are fun, I think this will stand up in a live situation. Vote!

Klownhole- Metal keys! Bitchin’ drums!!! There’s a lot of Rock Power here! I like your voice and how you’ve affected it, I have to agree the vocal melody leaves something to be desired. It’s a little odd to me that all the instruments are yelling and the vocalist is talking. Sure he’s talking sternly, but I thought it would build into a scream (for vengeance) or something at some point. I’m on the fence about voting for this, there’s a lot to like. Thank you for the rock!

Life in Decibels- This is rather laid back. Is there a bass line? Ah there’s a synth bass line. It sure sounds naked when that’s not there. I don’t really like the heavy slapback. The piano line is cool. I really like the groove around 0:44 once it’s all built up. The vocal melody is pretty weak. Later Bowie had this problem where his awesome vocals couldn’t find a tasty melody. This is nice background music, but there’s not a lot of drama to it. This desperately needs a catchy chorus. Some good stuff in there, lots of potential.

Manhattan Glutton- I like this a lot. I have to respectfully disagree with JB about the length issue. But I come from the land of Rush and Yes. Often I feel songs are cut short from where they ought to extend so they can hit that mark. If you’re rockin and you have a groove the music should play on. Take Layla for instance. I know people who cannot stand the end of that song because it “goes on forever” but I wouldn’t want it a moment shorter. I have to admit there’s nothing special about your lyrics, but they are innocuous. The melodies are good and the tune just rocks. I enjoy all 5 and a half minutes. Usually when I hear a 3 minute song I think they’re in a songwriting contest or submitting a demo to a record label. I love radio rock, but it’s not all I love. Predictably, I must say a ripping solo would help this song out. The building section from 3:35 to 4:15 or so is nice, but soooo ripe for a guitar solo. Great song! Vote!

Mike Lamb and the Suckweasal- I missed the 80’s pop memo. The vocoder and auto-tune stuff is pretty annoying. The lyrics seem incidental and only serve to obey the rhyme. This could be a funny parody, with some They Meet style storytelling or wit I know you guys have. This feels slapped together quickly. It’s an okay listen, but I’m not really going back for more on this one. Sorry.

Monkey Touchers- Be sure to go to page 111 “Testing the Infinite Monkey Probability Theorem”
http://books.google.com/books?id=Mi6dnm ... &q&f=false

Paco del Stinko- More Devo/Weird Al than usual. Still freaking amazing! Paco, your music almost always makes me smile for the entirety of its play time. Guitar solo is AWESOME! What is that effect? The keys are great. Your vocal gymnastics and multiple personalities are incredible. This is easily my favorite song of the fight. It’s no secret I’m a fan of your music, so obviously this gets a vote. The songwriting is so tight, and the dynamics are spot on. Lyrically I like it all fine, and really like the last stanza. VOTE!

The Pannacotta Army- Gets a vote for production alone. Wow all the instruments sound soooo good. I love the tremolo guitar especially. Everything is very tasty. This is so dreamy and mellow it reminds me of Mojave 3. The drums are great too, in the pocket and laid back with some killer fills at appropriate times. The solo section, still feels like it needs a lead instrument to me. I like the progression and the variation from the song, but I think a synth, moog, ebow, slide,or some horn playing melodies and licks would take this another step up. This is just awesome! I like your vocals too! I wouldn’t mind hearing more dynamics in them, but where they are is appropriate for the song. Check out this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgdvf4Mzkg8, it’s about as mellow but manages to really intensify around 4 minutes. Don’t get me wrong, your song the way it is, is a gem, I just think it can get stronger. VOTE!

Pig Farmer Jr.- Wow man! Nice improvement! The song isn’t bad at all. I’d like to hear more range in your vocal line. It’s a pretty narrow band of notes you’re using. I think it’s only 4 notes, not even a full octave. Some line could use another take. It’s a pretty effective little pop rock arrangement. Ultimately the vocal melody is keeping me from voting for this song.

Ross Durand- What’s up with the doo-wop for you and BLT? Just coincidence you both did this on this title. I think your vocals are amazing! The backing vocals are especially cool. I find myself listening to the backing vocals intently, and almost ignoring the lead vocal. “That’s Ross, he’s great, who are you guys?”. The Uke sounds great! This is a Ross classic in my book. I love it! VOTE! This is my 6th listen, and I’m forcing myself to pay attention to the lyrics, they are fine. The melody and performance and recording are the stars of the show. I too considered all the times I tell my kids “That’s enough!” I’m glad I didn’t go that direction; you did much better than I would have!

Shot Pounder- Kick ass! Excellent vocal delivery! Song is too damn short, but if you don’t have anything else to say perhaps it’s the right length. The band is tight, and it rocks! This reminds me of a soundtrack song, where they only really need 20 seconds of song, then sometimes it’s popular enough the band will finish up the song. Did you know Soundgarden’s “Spoonman” was such a song, written for the fake band in “Singles”. Anyway, I really like this. I like the frenetic solo, it’s sooo dirty! The only thing I don’t get or would change is the far away echo verse. It’s more distracting than effective. Anyway, cool song! Vote!

Berkeley Social Scene- This I believe only the 2nd BSS song that I have had nothing to do with. I was on the email chain and got to observe the writing process. I went out of town, down to LA for Thanksgiving so I missed the 1st recording session. The chromatic section is so very Lunkhead. I don’t know he wrote that part but that’s what I would bet. In typical fashion the lyrics were penned by Ken. That’s Martyr on vocals. I’m a big fan of his vocal stylings. It’s sooo indie rock. The vocal melody is all Martyr. I think the “how many times must I say…..” is really catchy. I would’ve treated the other half of the chorus differently. It was rather rushed on the night before the due date. With more time I think we would’ve come up with a harmony for those long notes. They left the smallest of bridges for me to “solo” over. It sounded complete and like a small reprieve, so I didn’t think a solo would serve the song there. A longer section might have been nice for a solo. Anyway, this song is awesome, I’m more objective than usual, but still not completely objective. These are my brothers in music after all. VOTE!

Semolina Pilchards- This might have been a BSS song. I threw down the dueling little Spanish guitars on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. My wife and kids were already in LA, so that Sunday I got to be alone with my guitar. I’m still incredibly frustrated with Cubase, I miss Magix. The low vocal mix thing is funny. Ken made a new mix before submitted, I said “I don’t know what you did, but it sounds so much better. Turns out he did guitars up, vocals down. That night before the deadline while Martyr was cutting the BSS vocals I was trying to write lyrics to this song. I knew the subject all along. I’m not personally into Bondage and Discipline, but I have friends in the industry. I had some pages, and Martyr and Ken hep me edit what I have into verses, and the pre-chorus. I wish I had more time to get better vocal takes and tweak the lyrics better. I cut the bass live in the room with Ken playing live drums, we had the 2 guitars in our headphones. I’m quite pleased with the result. This reminds me a lot of my early 90’s band the Cavedwellers. My friend Lee (see Yardley Social Scene –Ruthless Lately) and myself did lots guitar interplay like this song. Anyway, I dig it. Thanks for the compliments and reviews thus far!

Votes go to:
BSS
BGM
B&P
JBB
Manhattan Glutton
Paco del Stinko
Pannacotta Army
Ross Durand
Semolina Pilchards
Shot Pounder
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
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wickedcripple
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by wickedcripple »

[quote="glennny"]Das ist genug

Billy Oh- The keys sound great! I dig the riff. Your vocals are fantastic! What is up with the hiss that comes in and out? Especially in the breakdown at 0:57 to 1:11. I do not like the drum sound or pattern very much. The vocal melody is good. I think the arpeggio in the keys although awesome, over stays its welcome. I wish one of the verses had solid chords. Yeah, this song works a lot better in the truck than on headphones, the hiss that comes in and out is really annoying. So songwriting, I think you need more variation. The production needs some control of that hiss, or better yet consistency with it. Constant hiss I can get used to, but that loud hiss that drops and comes back in weird times I don’t like. This song also has a pretty poor ending, with a whimper not so much of a bang. The lyrics are bit trite, but not awful. You have great vocals, good songwriting with room for improvement, and some production issues. No vote, but I enjoyed it!

Thanks Glenny ... I had some technical issues .. plus i was working with fruity loops, and adobe audition. I have actually been working on the song .. got rid of that cymbal splash every 4 beats ... added some more instruments ... I will be re-doing the vocals as well. As in the lyrics being TRITE? well, it was a love song written for my Fiance .. so i was thinking more with my heart , so the lyrics may need some TLC. I have also ordered a new Mic .. i think that's where the hiss came from. I kinda RUSHED this one, i wrote it 2 days to deadline. But thank you for the kind words. Each time I do one of these, I learn A LOT!!

Thanks again.
Billy Oh.
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Dejected_Motives
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Dejected_Motives »

glennny wrote:
Dejected Motives- I got tired of this stuff in the 80’s. I haven’t really recovered from 80’s synth pop. Okay submitted version is almost unlistenable. Now listening to the Soundcloud version. The mix is far better, I’m a little sad that that synth line is not distorted. The distortion was cool, though overdriven. Man the 4 on the floor never goes away. It seems you have a solid verse idea. A dance track to be sure. This desperately needs some changes and variation. I don’t hear a chorus. It’s not a bad 80’s synth groove, but I need more. Looking forward to next entry
[/b]
First, I want to thank you for listening to the Soundcloud version. (What I wouldn't do for an analog, reel-to-reel recording studio that offered as much processing power as my computer without ever having to worry about driver issues.) Indeed, the beat is repetitive. I suppose that's a product of house and techno music.. But, that's no excuse. It does need more change and the only chorus it has is repetition of 'that's enough.' Thank you for your feedback. I have to learn to abide by the socially acceptable patterns that commercially successful songs tend to follow. Standard music theory tells me that the most accepted pattern is Intro-Chorus-Bridge-Chorus-Change-Chorus-Outro (or something similar), but my brain is set on 'broken record' most times when I craft music. Life is repetitive, music shouldn't have to be.. but anyway... I hope to give you something worth looking forward to with my next entry.
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sportswriters
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by sportswriters »

I've been listening to this fight in my truck and don't have my reviews yet but I did want to say that I quite liked the Dejected Motives track, or at least I liked it a LOT more than the previous DM stuff, even with the distortion.. The brain-pounding kick drum sort of did it for me.

However, I hope you guys will forgive me for a little rant.

Having listened to a few fights now I'm firmly of the opinion that a lot of you guys are killing yourselves with poor production. It really is not that hard to play in time and tune and do enough takes that you don't sound like shit, and mix it so you can hear what's going on. That's really the easy part of the whole deal and it's such a shame to have potentially good songs ruined by production that sounds lazy and/or slapdash. Even if you're not a great musician there are now plenty of tools to fix the most egregious mistakes. There are excellent free or nearly free DAWs out there and tons of really good free plugins.

I don't mind lo-fi AT ALL when it has a purpose but I do hate it when stuff just sounds like a mistake.

bgm and Pannacotta have rightly gotten a lot of kudos in the current fight but it's no coincidence that they sound the most professional. There are plenty of other good songs in the current fight that with the right production could be competitive but just sound kind of amateur.

Sometimes it's because folk bite off more than they can chew. I'd rather listen to a guitar+vocal track that is really achieved than a full band track that has a whole lot of sloppy hits, EQ problems and terrible balance.

Okay, that's my rant. Sorry. Over & out. Will do reviews shortly. I did like a surprising number of this weeks' songs, as songs.
mo
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by mo »

Mark (he'll always be Sven to me) and I put the the Guiterrorists together as a bad joke on G+, by making a drum loop and then trading off back and forth with solos and rhythm sections. Mostly, it came about because we both recently acquired new guitars. I won't spoil the guessing game of who played what, but I will say that my solo cuts are pretty much off the cuff, but inspired by the opening theme; if you listen probably more carefully than anyone really should, you'll find versions of that theme in each of my solos. I also tried to use as many of the guitar hero cliches as I could remember how to do (people who know my personal playing know that I'm more of a weaver than a flashy player, but I did grow up in the late 80s you know, so there isn't much of that kind of technique that I haven't messed around with at some point or another--oh shit, I forgot to do a couple of harmonic minor sweep arpeggios! I hope Yngwie won't come to my house to unleash the f*ing fury).

I will say that the drum production was all Sven, and I think he did a great job with it!

As an aside, I think it's really, really hard to write a compelling guitar solo instrumental, as you're always going to get the so-called "songwriting" crew down on you for using too much "technique" and being unsophisticated emotionally, while the jazz guys will say it's all too boring and unsophisticated theoretically, etc etc. I'm not saying anyone's wrong; I think these are all valid from their point of view, but on the other hand, that isn't the particular point of view of this kind of music. If a child out there somewhere--or a middle-aged dude, doesn't matter--had a split second of air guitar as a result of this song, then we will have achieved much much more than we could ever have hoped to.

EDIT: oh, and for anyone who cares, I can't speak for Sven, but my bits are all Guitar Rig 4.
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Spud
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Spud »

glennny wrote:Will this be the instrumental to finally win a fight? I don’t think it’s been done.
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wickedcripple
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by wickedcripple »

[quote="sportswriters"]
Having listened to a few fights now I'm firmly of the opinion that a lot of you guys are killing yourselves with poor production. It really is not that hard to play in time and tune and do enough takes that you don't sound like shit, and mix it so you can hear what's going on. That's really the easy part of the whole deal and it's such a shame to have potentially good songs ruined by production that sounds lazy and/or slapdash. Even if you're not a great musician there are now plenty of tools to fix the most egregious mistakes. There are excellent free or nearly free DAWs out there and tons of really good free plugins.



I do agree even though my song was the poster child for poor production this week it was mainly due to the rush job. so i am working early this time listen, get reviews from people first before i post. my song woulda been 10X better if i planned better. lesson learned.
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Pigfarmer Jr
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

glennny wrote: Pig Farmer Jr.- Wow man! Nice improvement! The song isn’t bad at all. I’d like to hear more range in your vocal line. It’s a pretty narrow band of notes you’re using. I think it’s only 4 notes, not even a full octave. Some line could use another take. It’s a pretty effective little pop rock arrangement. Ultimately the vocal melody is keeping me from voting for this song.
Thanks for the comments. I rather like the melody. It has, in my opinion, good shape/contour and is effective. It is a fairly narrow range but given my vocal abilities that's usually a plus.. it's a trade off. But that being said, I just came up with what sounded good to me. I've played with the melody a bit, but with the angst of the song, a wider range detracts from the energy/emotion. Or else I can't write a decent melody with a larger range to this tune... or both, maybe. Either way, thanks for the encouragement and making me think about the melody a bit more.
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Re: My caffeine intake, however, is not (That's Enough Revie

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

BSS - This seems like one of the lesser polished BSS songs I've heard. I do like how the playing is simpler compared to other BSS tracks - it allows me to focus on the things that are done well, rather than be distracted. That said, the music feels spindly behind the loud, imperfect vocals. With singing like that, I'd try to push it into the mix a little more and add some verb, and thicken up the instrumentation. The section before the chorus I can do without, if only because of the out of place vocals.

BGM - I do like me a good waltz. Your guitars and playing are beautiful. However, it's not exactly a genre I appreciate - you're going for the genre with breathy singing and subtle hooks. I like strong hooks, and upon first listen I'm not even sure what the chorus is.

Denny and the Psycho - I love how the groove builds up. I'm not sure how I feel about Chris's vocal role in this song - it makes me feel uncomfortable. Denny's vocals are awesome as usual. Vote.

BillyOh - already reviewed

Dejective Moted - I don't have anything good to say about this genre, particularly since it isn't performed well here. Firstly, spastic drums bug me - these are just fast and don't do anything interesting. The vocal line alternates between TWO NOTES! Change it up please. I was tired of those notes after 2 measures.

Ben Russel - PRETTY SWEET NINTENDO MUSIC WE HAVE HERE. If you programmed this, you're pretty good. If you stole it and just tried to sing over it, well... try singing better next time. I think this could be REALLY good if you come in with real drums and bass at 15 sec or 30 sec in... and reassess your vocal non-melody.

Guiterrorists - Oh man, this skanky guitar at the intro makes me want to GET DOWN. The stuff that happens before 0:50 then does not captivate me, but at 0:50 I want to GET DOWN again. The mastering could use a lot of help, and partially because of this the drums feel cheesy/fake. I'd throw some verb on them. The chugging guitar particularly could use some thickening. I'm not sure how I feel about voting for an instrumental... did I feel that that was enough? I will ponder it.

Heine - The bass synth needs a bit thickening. The tone for the drums and lead synths are spot-on. Some of the violin hits are off - and there is no excuse for that because this is midi, right? The lyrics weren't bugging me until the song referenced itself. I think with a stronger vocal performance/lyrics and some additional instrumentation/changeups this could be really listenable on loop.

HipHopAnony - Pretty skilled instrumental build-up during the verse. The synth adds and drum hits tell me you have great intuition for that. The second rapper's voice is more pleasant. The first guy seems a little jokey/white for my taste. The chorus could be a lot better... and I hate to say this, but the lyrics are part of the problem. Maybe add some more synths/instrumentation there, double the vocals so that "that's enough" has more force.

JBB - already reviewed

Klownhole - The vocals feel a little out of place, but I suppose could work with the right effects - maybe some slight distortion. The drum hits could be louder or thicker - that kick is not giving me any bass whatsoever, and I definitely need to feel those cool fills. It's mostly just noice to me right now.

Life in dB - The instrumentation is cool. I don't know what you're doing with the guitar there (maybe mixing it with a synth), but I like it. Change up at 0:46 is pretty sweet, but it's too long and should not be the chorus - just the lead-in to the chorus. The vocal performance needs a few more tries.

Mike Lamb - I like this a lot. I don't think it's necessarily 80s - I just think the choice of instrumentation and synths needs tweaking. The synths are way too clean and dry, when they could be a little raunchier and thicker. It could be a 90s pop song. I'd add maybe an octave vocal or some harmonies on the verse. The vocals at 1:00 kind of turn me off, but I keep going anyway. Anyway, pretty cool song and possible vote.

monkeytouchers - no

Paco - You and those minor scales! ;) The guitar hits are pretty sweet over the synth. Nice choice of drum synths. I would have prefered a different/louder/thicker main synth - It's cool but it does not do it alone, particularly at the little change-up parts. Chorus is a little weird for my tastes.

Panna - Great instrumentation and singing, as usual. My favorite part is at 1:20. Around 2:00 I become kind of disinterested, and I don't feel like I've been grabbed enough to go through the instrumental break. Coming out of the instrumental break, it sounds just like the first verse, whereas it would be nice to have added instrumentation or some other type of change here. The ending is disappointing, but somewhat to be expected since there wasn't a strong hook to start with. It's a good song, but more of a B-side.

Pigfarmer - I'd like to hear more vocal melody diversity, as well as drum hit diversity; sounds like G & G & drum machine. The bass is not very bassy - in fact, the instrumentation is not that full; double some of that or add verb or even turn the vocals down in the mix. The chorus probably works with harmonies. About 70% of the vocals are spot on and 30% are pushing the cringe boundaries.

Ripping Hammer - None of this sucked, and it was interesting throughout. The drums are particularly impressive, as is the sense of rhythm for laying the vocals. I'm not sure if more polish would help or hinder the feel of it. This is one song I can say "I'd like it to keep going" at the end. So, vote.

Ross Durand - Everything is performed very nicely, as usual. The background vocals are nifty change of pace. Particularly interesting at 2:00! I think I would like harmonies on the "That's enough" of the chorus. You've got a hook in that chorus, but it pulls out too quickly!

Seminolina - The way the guitar in the left ear fills in the breaks of the guitar in the right ear with diffenent notes during the verse... me gusta. Particularly when it's (unintentionally?) off-beat a little... feels syncopated (1:40). The intro riff is very cool as well. I think I want the guitars louder throughout. The vocals are not doing so much for me - kind of weak in places. But if you added a harmony on "without going too far away" you'd have my full undivided attention. The piece before the chorus is the weakest and definitely needs harmonies. I'd like some thicker instrumentation/layering at the chorus (maybe pads and synths), and it's the one place where I feel the vocals are not loud enough. Maybe add a pad or instrumentation coming in at 2:30. The section before 2:30 needs a lot of help, but you probably know that. The way you end on a minor variaton of the intro riff is fantastic. Vote, probably.

Shotpounder - Kompressor-ish. The drums could blend in better with verb or lowering the hat volume - the hat is getting on my nerves a lot, actually, and changing up that beat could help there too (I feel safe assuming these are programmed drums... in other words, try to make it a little less obvious). This is a pretty cool little diddy, and it is not ashamed of what it is. The vocal performance is great for what it's trying to be. Some vocal doubling would be pretty sweet, emphasizing some of the more angry vocals - get us singing "they fucking break!". It feels unmastered, so that's something to improve - but if I'm complaining about that, there's not much else to complain about. Vote, probably.
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