Nur Ein XII Round Six "Excuse Me"
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Nur Ein XII Round Six "Excuse Me"
Welcome to the sixth round of the twelfth edition of the Nur Ein.
Title: Excuse Me
Non-optional challenge: A lipogram - your lyrics may not contain any letter "A" (nor "a" for the pedantic among you) - that means none. Zero. Zip. Zilch. No a's. Don't even think about it. We'll find out if you do.
Songs are Due on: Monday, May 29th @ 12:01 AM Eastern
Send your MP3 to nurein.sidefight@gmail.com
NUR EIN!!!!!!
Title: Excuse Me
Non-optional challenge: A lipogram - your lyrics may not contain any letter "A" (nor "a" for the pedantic among you) - that means none. Zero. Zip. Zilch. No a's. Don't even think about it. We'll find out if you do.
Songs are Due on: Monday, May 29th @ 12:01 AM Eastern
Send your MP3 to nurein.sidefight@gmail.com
NUR EIN!!!!!!
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
I started writing a response that only used the vowel "A". I think I have enough for one verse.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Does it involve lots of audio clips from Arthur Fonzarelli?
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
So..."g","e", "t", "f", "u", "c", "k", "e" and "d" are all in?
I'm good with that.
I'm good with that.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Hey, CR, if you're *that* keen, I am about to rank your Round 5 entry ... my wish is your command
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Does everyone know about this amazing book "Eunoia"? It's in the poetry section. I picked up a copy on Penn Jillette's recommendation.
Each vowel has a personality. Each chapter only uses one vowel. You can read it online here:
https://web.archive.org/web/20090224192 ... /text.html
I imagine this challenge will breed heavy use of the word "one", being an indefinite article without the illegal vowel.
Each vowel has a personality. Each chapter only uses one vowel. You can read it online here:
https://web.archive.org/web/20090224192 ... /text.html
I imagine this challenge will breed heavy use of the word "one", being an indefinite article without the illegal vowel.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
"Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh" is a valid alternate spelling for "Na na na na na na na"? Right?
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Dick
Cock
Purple-helmeted love soldier
Love torpedo
Beef thermometer
One-eyed trouser python
Buster McThunderstick
Crotch rocket
Mr. Winky
Eight inches of blunt fury
Pink oboe
Giggle stick....
not an "A" in sight.
As long as I leave my wang out of it - this song will write itself.
Cock
Purple-helmeted love soldier
Love torpedo
Beef thermometer
One-eyed trouser python
Buster McThunderstick
Crotch rocket
Mr. Winky
Eight inches of blunt fury
Pink oboe
Giggle stick....
not an "A" in sight.
As long as I leave my wang out of it - this song will write itself.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
*waves* Hey, I'm back from Thailand/China, so I'll be planning to listen to the music from round 5 today and I'll start putting together a shadow for this round. Nice to see you guys!
Because Zombie Requiem, that's why.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Actually - I really like this challenge. It will produce a song I would not have normally written without the challenge, but doesn't direct the song in any particular way.j$ wrote:Hey, CR, if you're *that* keen, I am about to rank your Round 5 entry ... my wish is your command
Good job judges. /suck up
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
... only problem - I mentioned it in the pub - and a pissed mate is now insisting on rephrasing every conversation so the letter "a" isn't used. He's an annoying prick.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Tee hee! I'd use 'irksome prick', better to be in the spirit of the test. I will try writing my reviews without the letter too - should prove messy!Caravan Ray wrote:... only problem - I mentioned it in the pub - and a pissed mate is now insisting on rephrasing every conversation so the letter "a" isn't used. He's an annoying prick.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Letter frequency within my submission:
The first letter: 0
E: 318
I: 195
O: 194
U: 87
B - 20
C - 62
D - 70
F - 35
G - 54
H - 130
J - 3
K - 25
L - 102
M - 66
N - 144
P - 34
Q - 5
R - 93
S - 153
T - 220
V - 22
W - 62
X - 17
Y - 62
Z - 9
The first letter: 0
E: 318
I: 195
O: 194
U: 87
B - 20
C - 62
D - 70
F - 35
G - 54
H - 130
J - 3
K - 25
L - 102
M - 66
N - 144
P - 34
Q - 5
R - 93
S - 153
T - 220
V - 22
W - 62
X - 17
Y - 62
Z - 9
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
I'm sure folks will complain that our song does not sound like it is for the title "Excuse Me", because we don't actually sing those words together like that anywhere. Our narrator is offering him/her-self up as an excuse, so, it's like "Excuse Me" sort of like "Despicable Me". "Excuse" is an adjective describing "me". We're not using the title in the form of an imperative statement by the narrator telling someone to excuse him/her. That is likely going to fly over folks' heads, and I know explanations are frowned upon, but at this point f$#% it.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Reviews missing one letter -
'73KIB - the prettiness of the tune only just overcomes my dislike of country; but using free-reed instruments? Well, excuse me but nothing excuses this Short yet sweet. Nothing wrong here. Just not lingering in my memory.
Glenn Close - I don't like 'writing on writing' which this flirts with worryingly. Some of the lyric is extremely klutzy to meet the strictures of the competition this round? Not keen on the spoken word sections. Too long, too. But good tune if slightly bothersome in its completeness.
Meri ... - voices working very well together, as ever. Lovely little pop gem. Wish you'd used the 'me, the excuse' concept more explicitly in the song. But pretty, gentle song so no biggie.
Skub - Boom! Very impressive lyric. Not sure the 'shoe' line entirely works, though. I've often worried folk think the judges prefer Skub unjustly; but just listen to this and tell me it's not f___ing brill. Only problem, more of the expected sound.
CR - No electronics? Boo. Cussing is good. Needs bigger chorus. Clever, clever lyric. Once more, I don't like country-ish; but I like this. Grows on me like fungus, too. Of the five, this is the one I'm keen to listen to often, despite rough mix.
j$
'73KIB - the prettiness of the tune only just overcomes my dislike of country; but using free-reed instruments? Well, excuse me but nothing excuses this Short yet sweet. Nothing wrong here. Just not lingering in my memory.
Glenn Close - I don't like 'writing on writing' which this flirts with worryingly. Some of the lyric is extremely klutzy to meet the strictures of the competition this round? Not keen on the spoken word sections. Too long, too. But good tune if slightly bothersome in its completeness.
Meri ... - voices working very well together, as ever. Lovely little pop gem. Wish you'd used the 'me, the excuse' concept more explicitly in the song. But pretty, gentle song so no biggie.
Skub - Boom! Very impressive lyric. Not sure the 'shoe' line entirely works, though. I've often worried folk think the judges prefer Skub unjustly; but just listen to this and tell me it's not f___ing brill. Only problem, more of the expected sound.
CR - No electronics? Boo. Cussing is good. Needs bigger chorus. Clever, clever lyric. Once more, I don't like country-ish; but I like this. Grows on me like fungus, too. Of the five, this is the one I'm keen to listen to often, despite rough mix.
j$
Last edited by j$ on Mon May 29, 2017 7:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
You did use 'a' twice, I'm afraid.j$ wrote:Reviews missing one letter
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
(EDIT): FIXED!jast wrote:You did use 'a' twice, I'm afraid.j$ wrote:Reviews missing one letter
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Beep beep boop boop, nur ein judge processing
73 KIB - I like the partial-measure and construction of the verses. Great execution on everything, as always, as expected. The line "this temper of mine" is a Checkov's gun waiting to go off, but instead it's all internalized as demonstrated by a mildly depressing, valium pill chorus. In theory, this is very clever and I approve of it, but in practice I'm not sure the dispassioned vocals and lyrical choices work.
Glenn Case - A bit self-referential but not too much! Bravery in the penultimate round! I question some of the drum choices - they seem a bit of afterthoughty - but dang it's catchy anyhow. Great take on the challenge - I think you're the only one who actually made the challenge prominent. I could probably say something like "it could be shorter" or "it's a bit kitchy" but I strangely didn't notice.
Merisan - Now this is a subtle song that really punches through! Like Glenn's, it feels slightly self-referential, but probably only incidentally. Great work on doing an emotional song! I can only imagine you're messing with me and the lyrics are about the siege of the Bastille or something. Sam's got a lot of feelings coming through - Erin maybe a little less - they're almost too perfect (!! judges gonna judge), but still much more charged than usual.
Skub - Great drum and bass sounds. Your taste in drum beats is truly impressive - I always love the beats and tones. The singing is great, too, though, despite being clever lyrics, the vocals feel a bit hollow. It's a fun song that would be great to bob along to and drive recklessly on a sunny day with the windows down, but probably not singing along to like some of your other entries.
Strangelove - Catchy fun song. Cool lead guitar! Love the doubled leads. There's a lot of fun things in this one - it keeps me entertained throughout and really starts grooving. The vocal delivery, both in tunedness and energy, leaves a bit to be desired. I think I could get behind the crass lyrics more if they were delivered a little more like you personally mean them. Topped off with a fine vocal round at the end! It would have been fun to emphasize the last "you're on your own".
73 KIB - I like the partial-measure and construction of the verses. Great execution on everything, as always, as expected. The line "this temper of mine" is a Checkov's gun waiting to go off, but instead it's all internalized as demonstrated by a mildly depressing, valium pill chorus. In theory, this is very clever and I approve of it, but in practice I'm not sure the dispassioned vocals and lyrical choices work.
Glenn Case - A bit self-referential but not too much! Bravery in the penultimate round! I question some of the drum choices - they seem a bit of afterthoughty - but dang it's catchy anyhow. Great take on the challenge - I think you're the only one who actually made the challenge prominent. I could probably say something like "it could be shorter" or "it's a bit kitchy" but I strangely didn't notice.
Merisan - Now this is a subtle song that really punches through! Like Glenn's, it feels slightly self-referential, but probably only incidentally. Great work on doing an emotional song! I can only imagine you're messing with me and the lyrics are about the siege of the Bastille or something. Sam's got a lot of feelings coming through - Erin maybe a little less - they're almost too perfect (!! judges gonna judge), but still much more charged than usual.
Skub - Great drum and bass sounds. Your taste in drum beats is truly impressive - I always love the beats and tones. The singing is great, too, though, despite being clever lyrics, the vocals feel a bit hollow. It's a fun song that would be great to bob along to and drive recklessly on a sunny day with the windows down, but probably not singing along to like some of your other entries.
Strangelove - Catchy fun song. Cool lead guitar! Love the doubled leads. There's a lot of fun things in this one - it keeps me entertained throughout and really starts grooving. The vocal delivery, both in tunedness and energy, leaves a bit to be desired. I think I could get behind the crass lyrics more if they were delivered a little more like you personally mean them. Topped off with a fine vocal round at the end! It would have been fun to emphasize the last "you're on your own".
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
Glenn Case - Best 5 minute song about the Wheel Of Fortune I’ve heard today. Another great job with the lyrics. I’m starting to think we should have got rid of the letter “E”, this sounds easy for you. Then the rapping...you’re just rubbing our face in this challenge like, “THIS IS NOT WORTHY OF ME, BRING ME SOMETHING HARD!” I probably would have got a little bored if you neglected to mix it up a little, so good call...and well done.
Skub - Your vocals are great, but I’m still of the mindset if you have multiple characters I should hear multiple voices. The story is well written, no Yoda’s here. Music was solid, but honestly this round was strong. Good song or not, something minor like that 2nd vocalist will probably drop you a spot in my rankings.
73 Keep It Beautiful - You were the first song I listened to this round and I’d say we’re off to a fine start. One thing I was worried about this round is getting a lot of “Yoda-like” lyrics because we’ve basically limited everyone's vocabulary this round. I was glad you didn’t have that issue. Overall I thought it sounded lovely (music, singing, lyrics, etc..), and it’s a very relatable song.
Merisan - At this point I’d be shocked if you turned something in I wasn’t impressed with. For the most part I loved both your vocals together. I’d love for you to soften a few of those beginning & ending sounds in the words a little verses saying them perfectly at times. Otherwise...no complaints.
Strangelove - Performance wise you had moments I enjoyed, but it wasn’t consistent throughout the song. Lyrically & musically nothing really stuck with me after listening the first time. After a few more listens same thing… While avoiding the Yoda, some of your lyrics didn’t really flow all that great or left me wanting a rhyme. You’ve had some strong songs this contest, but in the end, this was a forgettable song for me.
Skub - Your vocals are great, but I’m still of the mindset if you have multiple characters I should hear multiple voices. The story is well written, no Yoda’s here. Music was solid, but honestly this round was strong. Good song or not, something minor like that 2nd vocalist will probably drop you a spot in my rankings.
73 Keep It Beautiful - You were the first song I listened to this round and I’d say we’re off to a fine start. One thing I was worried about this round is getting a lot of “Yoda-like” lyrics because we’ve basically limited everyone's vocabulary this round. I was glad you didn’t have that issue. Overall I thought it sounded lovely (music, singing, lyrics, etc..), and it’s a very relatable song.
Merisan - At this point I’d be shocked if you turned something in I wasn’t impressed with. For the most part I loved both your vocals together. I’d love for you to soften a few of those beginning & ending sounds in the words a little verses saying them perfectly at times. Otherwise...no complaints.
Strangelove - Performance wise you had moments I enjoyed, but it wasn’t consistent throughout the song. Lyrically & musically nothing really stuck with me after listening the first time. After a few more listens same thing… While avoiding the Yoda, some of your lyrics didn’t really flow all that great or left me wanting a rhyme. You’ve had some strong songs this contest, but in the end, this was a forgettable song for me.
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
I don't know if I put it in the right place, but I added Berkeley Social Scene's Excuse Me to the Ohne Ruhm thread in case anyone wants to hear what they missed because of the judges' terrible judgement.
Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff - Berkeley Social Scene - Tiny Robots - Seamus Collective - Semolina Pilchards - Cutie Pies - Explino! - Bravo Bros. - 2 from 14 - and more!
i would just like to remind everyone that Ken eats kittens - blue lang
i would just like to remind everyone that Ken eats kittens - blue lang
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Re: Nur Ein XII - Round Six
73 - this is pretty. I like the vocal sound a lot, especially on the chorus… nice sound, 60’s folk/pop maybe.
Glenn - i like the lyrical conceit. The rapped sections make for a nice change of pace from the rest of the song. Also impressive is the length of the lyric with, as far as i can tell, no A’s. it is way longer than the other songs but i don’t mind that.
Merisan - this is pretty… but i feel like meat is lacking in it. I hear it and i want more… something. The solo section is really nice. Maybe this should build to something bigger. Nice guitar at the end, though.
Skub - great intro. Solid rock. I feel like this should have a little more dynamics, it feels a bit all-on throughout, but very good sound.
Strange - argh, i can hear that you… said “that” at least twice even though it’s not in the lyrics. Lyric-wise, is a bit too sweary for my tastes.
Glenn - i like the lyrical conceit. The rapped sections make for a nice change of pace from the rest of the song. Also impressive is the length of the lyric with, as far as i can tell, no A’s. it is way longer than the other songs but i don’t mind that.
Merisan - this is pretty… but i feel like meat is lacking in it. I hear it and i want more… something. The solo section is really nice. Maybe this should build to something bigger. Nice guitar at the end, though.
Skub - great intro. Solid rock. I feel like this should have a little more dynamics, it feels a bit all-on throughout, but very good sound.
Strange - argh, i can hear that you… said “that” at least twice even though it’s not in the lyrics. Lyric-wise, is a bit too sweary for my tastes.
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