You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by fluffy »

Yeah. Anyway let's please get back to discussing this fight now, k?
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by thirdcatmusic »

Berkeley Social Scene: drums & guitars sound pretty good throughout (some really nice guitar parts and a cool drum groove) although the mix seems a bit muddy but maybe it's just a style choice (garage rock vibes). my favorite part of the song by far is the pre-chorus (first heard at 43 seconds), that part is maybe my favorite part of any song in this fight, it's great, really cool energy there, the vocals sound great on that part I think. like the guitar solo outro too. but I'm not as into the verses and choruses - mostly because of the vocal part - so overall I think I'm gonna pass on a vote on this one.

CazaroTaro: This is cute-ish and I appreciate the brevity. Hard to tell if it's earnest.

The Dormouse Choir: Not bad, has a nice authentic early Bob Dylan type vibe. The repeating "try me, try me, try me" part doesn't work as well as the rest of it for me. There are times when the lyrics seem a bit shoehorned, some of that is fine with this style I think, ... but sometimes it's distracting (like at around 1:45 where you sing "I was commanded to slay the gray man" ... overall I like this much more than your a'cappella track from the previous fight.

Evil Grin: I like the organ. And the lead guitar riffs are pretty cool. There are some parts of this where it comes together and it sounds pretty good but overall it doesn't quite gel for me. The porn? sounds in the background are a strange choice for this song (which sounds pretty earnest otherwise.... I'm using the word earnest a lot. in earnest.)

gizo vs. the 17,455: I like this, particularly the main bit. Cool layers of sound with the clean acoustic guitar and atmospherics and the noise laid on top when it comes back. The vocals sound good. The b-section that starts at about 1:10 I don't like as much. but it's not too bad and does a good job of breaking things up. I'm giving this a VOTE.

Hot Pink Halo: I like the instrumental and the percussion noises are fun. As usual I really like your taste and style, lots of cool instrumental ideas but on the negative side the vocals aren't working as well.

James Owens: The spoken word meta joke is OK and I quite like how your voice sounds with the reverb, nice speaking voice, you could do books on tape. But for me the bit that I really like is the sample horn melody that comes in over the piano and overall I quite like the instrumental, I think I'd listen to it as an ambient piece without the spoken word. But with it it'd probably get old too quickly. I did laugh at the Ric Ocasek reference. (insert "I understood that reference" meme here.)

Jim Tyrrell: This is very well done and is getting a VOTE from me even though it's not really up my alley genre-wise. I can't think of any constructive criticism really, it seems like you nailed what you were going for. Great production, drums sound really nice, good vocals. My favorite part is probably the lead guitar licks, they're really tastefully done and sound great.

Lichen Throat: the main instrumental riff is pretty cool. vocals are the big issue here, but on the positive side they're in much better time than the Lichen Throat songs I remember hearing in the past. on the negative side - they're out of tune and I don't think doubling makes it work any better (might make it worse actually?) have you ever tried tuning your vocals with something like Melodyne? not sure how it would work for you. but ... might sound better.

Lollypops and the Sour Straps: the "try me try me, I'm not afraid" bit is pretty catchy, cool idea. also a nice change in style there to keep the arrangement interesting. some constructive criticism: try singing a bit farther away from the microphone. also try putting reverb on your vocal and your instrumental (the same reverb on both) to make them sound like they're in the same space. keep on writing!

The Magnetic Letters: Great story-telling, I'm rarely pulled into the story of a song like this. Really cool spooky ambient sounds. I like your vocals a lot on this too. Especially on the part that starts around 1 minute (which is my favorite part of the song). Musically/instrumentally I don't like the electronic music part as much (sounds a bit canned) but the vocal/story there is still great. The guitar riffing towards the end is great, reminds me of the rock part of "Paranoid Android." Overall this is great and a definite VOTE.

Mandibles: My cats (the other 2 cats) really liked this one (I think it was the fingersnaps that got their attention.) I quite liked the quiet intro. Vocals sound awesome there. And there's a great atmosphere. But for me the second (starting around 1:45) more theatrical part is a bit off putting. Probably just a genre-bias thing. I'm wondering if the full out part would sound better if you switched from the strange percussion to a full on drum set there? I have mixed feelings about this one, but I think it deserves a vote, so VOTE.

Miscellaneous Jerk: Sounds good, and there are some nice turns in the song. But overall I don't really love this one. Maybe it's because it just seems to keep going from one section to another and it feels quite long (and is over 4 minutes.)

Phlebia: Cool groove and I like the intensity. The warped sound makes me think of what Brian Eno might have sounded like in 1973 if he was going for something heavier than Here Comes The Warm Jets. Maybe not my favorite Phlebia song, but it's pretty cool and has grown on me with multiple listens. VOTE.

Simple Syrup: I like this. Nice lyrics. Nice atmosphere. I think this mix really works. Keys off in the distance to add some dimension to the tasteful drums and guitar which might have been too minimalist without the keys. Vocals fit the style well. I think this is the song of the fight that most hit me emotionally. And it definitely feels like that's what you're going for, so well done. VOTE. Kind of an unassuming song but maybe my favorite of the fight.

Sockpuppet: I quite like the main keys sound that starts the song off and goes on throughout, so warm. on the less positive side I don't love the very high pitched glockenspiel tinkling, maybe if it were lower in the mix, but it's quite high in the mix and I find it distracting. especially because the rest of the song has this really nice warm blanket feel, it's like I want to lay down and sleep in the song, but that glockenspiel won't let me get to sleep. or something. overall I still like the main song and it's a maybe vote.
Last edited by thirdcatmusic on Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by owl »

As an aside, I'm enjoying how much detail there is in these reviews about people's cats' reactions to the Mandibles song. I haven't played it for my cat yet, but I'll try it later and see what she thinks.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by gizo »

I’m trying to write reviews but just in case I don’t I want you to know that The Magnetic Letters song is wonderful and sent me on a strange reverie to the land of Album Fight to try to find a matching melody.

Merle, you pearl, this is a golden moment. Thank you for bringing it.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by crumpart »

gizo wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:17 pm
I’m trying to write reviews but just in case I don’t I want you to know that The Magnetic Letters song is wonderful and sent me on a strange reverie to the land of Album Fight to try to find a matching melody.

Merle, you pearl, this is a golden moment. Thank you for bringing it.
Also it has “try me mate” in the Aussiest, blokiest accent ever, which TBH is everything I was looking for from this fight.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

See now I wish there was someone with a super duper thick Appalachian accent on here so I could have some songfight regional pride!

Also Third Cat, interesting Eno comparison! I'll admit I'm not as familiar with his work as I probably ought to be, but Fourth World: Possible Musics is one of my favorite ambient albums.
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Cybronica »

owl wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:26 pm
As an aside, I'm enjoying how much detail there is in these reviews about people's cats' reactions to the Mandibles song. I haven't played it for my cat yet, but I'll try it later and see what she thinks.
I had been thinking the same thing. I actually hadn’t played it for my cats (forgot to do the computer speaker sound check), but I Just played near two of them while they were napping, and they both woke up and and came over to check out the computer and ask for pets. I suppose the music has a purrrfect quality!
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by jack »

haha, I saw "James Owens" and I thought wait...."Jim of Seattle"? Nice.
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Cybronica »

Song fight Try Me

No particular order!

Hot pink halo
I like the overall effect, including the typewriter. My favorite thing about this song it the layered vocals. Like I mentioned earlier, I am a sucker for close female harmonies. The way they build gives the song a wonderful swell. The vocal production could use some work, which is especially evident in the first solo line which is rather exposed. I think you’re relying too much on your throat to support that sound, which is giving your voice a shallow, false depths effect that I am not a huge fan of. I recommend taking deeper breaths for each line. Practice taking breaths silently, as that will ensure you don’t have too much tension in your throat giving it that over pressed sound. I like how you set the lyrics to the music, but I must admit I’m don’t know what they are about, other than general “I love you don’t see?” sentiment.

Phlebia:
I actually like the sound here. It took some time to grow on me with multiple listens, but I like the chaotic, disordered element to it; it’s been a good match for my headspace this week. The echo on the cymbal is a cool effect, the wall of sound keeps me right on the edge, and i really like the music of the intro, though I will say I wish the drums were lower and the organ sound higher. I find your vocal delivery fascinating. It’s like if a robot had fleshy vocal chords. I think that robotic quality cones from how every syllable is chopped, disconnected from the one next to it, even if they are in the same word. Normally that’s a pet peeve of mine, but I like it here. It matches. I appreciate your use of the whole vocal range, though the high stuff, which is so stringently sweet and sustained, and is so unlike the rest of the song, it takes me out a little. I love the lyrics. I hadn’t heard the story before, so I’m glad to have learned something. That tempo change up/talking epilogue was awesome, too. V

Simple syrup:
This is the most beautiful song I’ve heard about an infomercial. My husband calls it smooth, and I am inclined to agree. The song is hypnotic, particularly so because of the drums- I usually find the drums the most trying (pun intended) part of a song, but these are really lovely and fold well into the songs whole texture. Your vocals are exquisite. The harmonies are my favorite part- they have a Simon a Garfunkel element in them. I like that harmonica synth in the background that delicately handles the dissonances. They are placed really well. This is excellent rainy day music, and hey, it’s raining today! V

Sockpuppet:
The 6/8, along with the glockenspiel sound, gives this a lovely lullaby feel, a rather nurturing feel. The lyrics are sparse, though I suppose that’s the point- you sing til the kid falls asleep. I guess this is about a sleep aid? The song feels too short, but again, I suppose that’s the point. The wind chime sound is cool, and I like how you panned the piano to the left. I have nothing to say about your vocals. I’m on the fence with this song. It’s very soothing and a little hypnotic, but it feels a bit meh to me. Close, but not vote from me.

James Owens:
I actually really like this one. It’s so Melodramatic. I love how you deliver this - your voice is the perfect quality for radio quality soliloquizing. Your accent has this lovely slightly closed quality, like a subtle midwestern or maybe Canadian accent? Also the way you handle you consonants is perfect. The are just barely there so as not to pop the mic. Your Ts are excellently dentalized, and whatever is the term for dentalized Ps and Ks, you do that too. The Ss might jump a little once or twice, but even those are well reigned in- that’s the hardest one, too. The simple piano accompaniment is really well arranged. Makes me think of romantic nocturne, and the oboe solo is a perfect and much needed contrast. I don’t find it too on the nose (I mean, it’s very on the nose, but in a funny way), but maybe I haven’t been around here long enough to get tired of song fight songs about song fight. V

Dormouse choir:
I’m really glad I read the lyrics for this, because “I chose to weep in the deep” is a lot more evocative than “I chose to wheel and deal.” This song is really lovely, and your performance of it is really touching. Like some others, the lyrics are a bit vague, but the imagery makes up for that. I want to know the context. I like the big build up you have towards the end, though with the way it is recorded, it has me riding the volume knob a bit. Actually, my main complaints with this song are production value oriented, but I kinda feel like all things being equal, production (after songwriting and performance) is the least important element to a songfight song. I think your vocals can improve, mainly with exercises meant to make you more comfortable with finding and sustaining the notes on all vowels. Overall though, you have a really unique and earnest voice, and I wouldn’t want you to lose that quality. It’s your signature. I’m probably not going to vote for this one, mainly because I don’t think I would want it in my permanent collection, but if I ever get around to doing songfight covers, this would be on my list.

BSS:
This song is pretty good, but I think I’ve heard better from you. The pre chorus is my favorite part, probably cause I reminds me of the 80’s TMNT cartoon. Normally I’m a big fan of glennny’s vocals, but today they’re a bit pitchy, exacerbates bu the doubling which makes it really obvious (except in the prechorus). The compound rhythm is cool I like it.

Misc. Jerk:
I like this one! The imagery is great, the vocals as expected are phenom, and I love that wonky descending chord progression. That last one is the first thing I noticed about the song- the bass line is really charming, adds a lovely character. Also, rhyming “blow this / notice / modus” is delightful. I don’t really have a criticism. V

Evil grin:
This song was so sweet, and the sex sounds at the end really ruined it for me. They sound like she’s faking it. Girl, he is a bar rando hookup; you don’t owe him an ego boost. Make sure your needs are fulfilled just as well as his! Lyrics are ok (down with the patriarchy! Ask all you like!), but I really think I’ve heard better lyrics from you guys. The best part for me is the build up starting at “your hand in mine.” Well sung, got the point across. If the sex sounds had sounded less like a porno and more like real life - or maybe even been a guy? - I might have like it better. Still though, I think the “fade to black” method might have worked here.

Cazaro taro:
My first impression is “katamari damacy in an elevator.” The awkward syllabification is distracting, but I like how it plays into the awkward guy from work trope. The song is probably too short. I would have liked more of that choir and sax (mmm saxy).

Gizo:
The processing on the vocals is interesting. Sounds like I’m listening to a recording of a radio. It’s a cool effect, but I think there needs to be a contrast. The prechorus thing with the bass drum goes on too long, I think, and the wall of cymbal that happens is grating on me. I like your voice, but I can’t tell if you’re trying to sound like your on the verge of tears, or if it’s lazy vocal technique. Your sound will fill out better if you take a deeper breath; don’t breath like you’re talking, breath like you’re singing. A nice take on the title, it’s a cool twist.

Lollypops:
This is a really well made song! You have excellent instincts when it comes to musical structure, melody, and lyric craft. Everyone else has already given you really good advice on production, so I’ll leave that alone. Instead, I’ll talk about your voice: it’s really beautiful, and again, you have really good instincts! In this song, though, you sound like you’re trying to sing as quietly as possible. From what I gather, you made this song in secret and then presented it in its finished form? I assume then you were trying to sing quietly so the cat stayed in the bag- understandable! In the future, though, let your voice sing out! The number 1 most important thing when singing is having a good, solid breath under you. Practice taking in deep, low in the body, silent breaths, and that will help your voice sound more confident. It doesn’t have to be loud, but don’t try to make yourself small- in singing, dynamics are more about color than volume. Turn down the gain on your mic, take a step back, and sing out. Also, make sure each take is done with the same gain level and the same distance from the mic. I look forward to hearing more from you!

Magnetic letting:
I like the theramin, and it’s played really well! That’s a hard instrument to master, so well done! When the drums kick in, that when things really get started. I like your harmonized vocals, and you have a lovely voice. You tend to under-support your high notes, particularly on the early song “try me”s. You need more breath under the high stuff than you’re giving it, otherwise it will sound brittle and go a little flat. Rhyming familiar with kardinya is delightful. The story is pretty wacky, and the ending is... odd. Matches getting drugged, I suppose.

Jim Tyrrell:
Lovely singer/songwriter song. It’s well sung, the guitar part (especially the solo) is great, and lyrics are decent. The strings are a nice sappy touch; there’s some about this that makes it sound almost pop county-ish, but that might just be the timbre of the guitar. I really love the chord on “wandering” of the chorus. I’m on the fence on this one because it seems a little bland; I think part of that is returning to the simplistic verse melody in the chorus. It gets a bit repetitive.

Lichen Throat:
This came on and my husband immediately said, “is that lichen throat?” You’re famous in our house! As always, I love your melange of sound in your ‘band,’ and your lyrics are lovely poetry; using daguerreotype in any song gets you points in my book! I think your singing is improving. It still is at times a little sloppy, but I think that is mainly pointed out by the doubled vocals. Did you triple them? Am I hearing you sing it an octave up too? That sounds more in tune. Maybe because you use more breath support for the high stuff? I’d like to hear more in that range. The Oohs are great- also do more of that! They are getting closer to the mark with your tuning. Nicely done!

Third Cat:
It’s a good thing someone said this was about dropping acid because I would not have gotten that. This song is g r e a t. I really love your voice. I know it’s processed, but you get such a cool timbre on top of it’s natural beautiful sound. What do you do for that? I think maybe your vocals could have been a tiny bit higher in the mix after the infinite rise. The arrangement is great, and I like the outro a lot. That one ascending part reminds me of the shepherd tone. Very cool. V
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Cybronica wrote:
Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:19 pm
Gizo:
The processing on the vocals is interesting. Sounds like I’m listening to a recording of a radio. It’s a cool effect, but I think there needs to be a contrast. The prechorus thing with the bass drum goes on too long, I think, and the wall of cymbal that happens is grating on me. I like your voice, but I can’t tell if you’re trying to sound like your on the verge of tears, or if it’s lazy vocal technique. Your sound will fill out better if you take a deeper breath; don’t breath like you’re talking, breath like you’re singing. A nice take on the title, it’s a cool twist.
Thank you for this feedback. I certainly appreciate the comments on structure (length of kicks and lack of contrast) - they're clearly apparent to me on further listens.

In terms of vocal delivery - you were so close! It's a combination of lazy vocal technique, and actually being on the verge of tears. It happens sometimes.
Lollypops:
This is a really well made song! You have excellent instincts when it comes to musical structure, melody, and lyric craft. Everyone else has already given you really good advice on production, so I’ll leave that alone. Instead, I’ll talk about your voice: it’s really beautiful, and again, you have really good instincts! In this song, though, you sound like you’re trying to sing as quietly as possible. From what I gather, you made this song in secret and then presented it in its finished form? I assume then you were trying to sing quietly so the cat stayed in the bag- understandable! In the future, though, let your voice sing out! The number 1 most important thing when singing is having a good, solid breath under you. Practice taking in deep, low in the body, silent breaths, and that will help your voice sound more confident. It doesn’t have to be loud, but don’t try to make yourself small- in singing, dynamics are more about color than volume. Turn down the gain on your mic, take a step back, and sing out. Also, make sure each take is done with the same gain level and the same distance from the mic. I look forward to hearing more from you!
Thank you for this - this is wonderful commentary. I'm really working on getting Lollypops to upgrade to my gear (not a huge upgrade, but a start for sure). The guidance on singing technique is awesome thanks - Lollypops does a lot of singing at school, but there's a real difference when she's exposed to a mic. You've really summed up some good clear actionable strategies here for us (which I will steal for myself also).

THANKS! <3
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Typed out reviews and hit submit and now they're... not here. This upsets me. *sigh*
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Berkeley Social Scene: The odd, stutter feeling is a nice contrast. It gives me an uneasy feeling that makes the solid pre-chorus and chorus (or whatever) sections feel that much more fulfilling. And that outro is cool. This is probably the song that grew on me the most on repeated listens and I'm finding 1) that odd bit is unsettling each time I hear it (especially at the beginning) and 2) I really do like the song.

CazaroTaro: There is something about the vocal that doesn't sit right with me until the harmony/layered bit at the end then it sounds a lot better. I think it's part the mix and part the less than confident delivery.

The Dormouse Choir: There is something endearing about this very rough vocal and guitar take. I think if the performance was just a little bit stronger (and a bit better recorded) it would work for me. As it stands, I like it up until close to about 2 minutes and then I find myself wanting to hit the next button.

gizo vs. the 17,455: I like this. Especially the verse bits. The noise/sound bit makes me think of Wilco quite a bit. Well, recent Wilco. Okay, not early Wilco. Just saw them in concert so maybe it's just a fresh influence bias. At any rate, I like this but that second bit was less appealing that the rest.

Hot Pink Halo: That typewriter works so well as a music track and as a lyrical reinforcement. I like this song although it might not be my usual thing.

James Owens: This one stood out for me with the spoken word vocal performance. And I identify with it, maybe too much. Not hitting the top songs for me, but it was fun on first and second listen. I'm not sure this will stay with me for long, though.

Jim Tyrrell: I love that understated electric guitar. It's so tasty. I could have sworn I wouldn't like this after just a few bars, but I was wrong. I do like it. Especially the chorus... or the brief two line change up going back into the title lines. Yeah, chorus. I know what a chorus is, dammit. If that's a super long fadeout, the last 8 seconds or so is too quiet for me. *evil grin*

Lichen Throat: Doubled vocals tend to be a good idea. But they have to match up pretty darn closely to work well. And here... well, they actually sync up for the most part... but maybe not entirely in a good way. You have an identifiable flavor to your music. I think it's the instruments/sounds you use more than anything. Musically, it seems to be something I could use in an arcade game. Like Yai Ar kung fu or something. I loved that game in my early teens.

Lollypops and the Sour Straps: I like the chorus, the try me bits are very good. The music was cool, too. You have a good sense of melody. I think you have a lot of potential and I like the tone of your voice.

The Magnetic Letters: Is that a theremin? It's gotta be, right? I liked the layered vox and some of the melody grabbed me and told me to sit down and pay attention in such a good/beautiful way. This song has a vulnerable feel to it that I like. It's a cool second bit with the increase in tempo and the electronic feel.

Mandibles: I like the strong "Come hither, Alice" but the lead up was a bit of a drawn out affair for me. The beginning did set a mood but I prefer the strong vocals that came later.

Miscellaneous Jerk: I have an affinity for your vocal/melodies. The chorus is catchy and I like the downward bass/drum pattern there. The harmony vox are a nice touch and tasty. I like this song but it did seem to be a tad bit long although I did like the organ/guitar break.

Phlebia: Took a bit to get into this one. I like the thunder-like drums and the theatrical vocal. But it seemed a bit much for me on first listen and as I sit here reviewing it hasn't really lessened much. This is mostly due to my mood/sugar induced headache, I think. I like those high range vocals that add a nice touch. This could be cool in a rock opera or as a song in a full album that was telling a story.

Simple Syrup: Sometimes a sparse arrangement works for me and sometimes it doesn't. And while that wind sounding instrument was a bit incessant, this worked very well for me. The chorus stands out and I like it a lot.

Sockpuppet: A lullaby feeling from the start. Simple, short and exceedingly good at what it does (as I'm tired and now even more so.) Maybe a critique would be that it doesn't do anything or go anywhere, but for me it works very well. It's not my favorite of the fight by a bit, but it definitely is a good one.

Third Cat: I like the second bit and it was a cool transition. And another spot there with a cool warped feel. Are those modulations? What a cool song. Reminds me a bit of old Electric Light Orchestra in concept and attitude if not in sound. Yeah, I'm not sure where this sits for me, but I am enjoying it.
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T.C. Elliott bandcamp - T.C. Elliott spotify

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Cybronica
Push Comes to Shove
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Cybronica »

People wrote: Reviews, generally split between people who like the intro more and people who like the song bit more.
I appreciate the feedback, all! This song was a fun one to come up with and develop, particularly the intro layers. Truth came up with the idea and the haunting verse melody/chord, and i did the lyrics/recording/arrangement. I hear what you all are saying re: the balance of the song. I was trying to keep it to a more common shorter length, but I think I would have like the “song” part to have been longer, maybe with a solo over the verse music, or a bridge with more of the chanting. Mainly, I want more than two goes at the chorus, because I really love it; it’s my favorite part. Regarding the clicks, the ones at the very start are because I had my gain turned all the way up, and it was picking up my husbands mouse as he worked at his computer in the other room - not intentional. The triplet clicks, though, were me tapping my fingernails together, so those were on purpose. As for the cats’ reactions... well, I have long suspected that I am the cat whisperer. Everyone with a cat, play the song for them and let me know what they do!
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
CazaroTaro
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 31
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Submitting as: CazaroTaro

Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by CazaroTaro »

Thanks to all who took time to comment on my song.

Took a while to listen to all of the songs, but here are my brief comments.


Evil Grin. Electric guitar does not add to intro. Good vocal. Background noises distracting in bridge. Overall production is good.

Sockpuppet. Nice synth textures. Glock a little too in front for me. Nice space to the sound. Smooth vocals.

Lichenthroat. Guitar arpeggio is good. Doubled voice does not work well.

Miscellaneous Jerk. Great vocal sound. Well orchestrated, arranged, and performed.

Jim Tyrell. Good, clear well sung vocal. Well orchestrated and produced. Maybe the best song in this songfight.

Lollypops and Sour Straps. Vocal seems restrained. Some mike rustlings and volume shifts. Dropping to just backing piano during chorus was a good move for adding interest to the song.

The Magnetic Letters. Well mixed and well sung. Change in pace at around 2:55 was appreciated.

Third Cat. Good production. Good vocal. Bridge was interesting, but did not seem connected to the rest of the song. End seemed to stop suddenly.

Gizo. Good arrangement and production. A lot of cymbal.

Simple Syrup. Good production. Nice vocals.

Mandibles. Very good pacing overall. Good arrangement. Excellent vocal performances and recording. Clicking in right ear that went away around 1:22 was distracting. Maybe the best song this songfight.

James Owens. Good production. Put a smile on my face.

Berkeley Social Scene. Song seems a little sleepy. Drum break beat during vocals is distracting.

Hot Pick Halo. Vocal a bit too low in the mix at times. Nice use of mechanical sounds.

The Dormouse Choir. Performer seemed a little too far from the microphone.

Phlebia. Vocal mixed very well over the most clamorous backing track of this songfight.
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Adnama17
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 52
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Adnama17 »

Miscellaneous Jerk: Not a fan of these lyrics. When people put themselves down, it really bugs me. That being said, one of my favorite tricks is pairing super happy sounding music with dark lyrics, and you’ve definitely nailed that. I particularly like the all the walk downs and the BGVs.

Lichen Throat: I’m on board with the music, but the vox distracts me. They don’t go together. The vox would be much better in a metal setting rather than this rather perky electronic setting, in my opinion. Also not sure what the lyrics are trying to tell me. I’m just not following this one.

Third Cat: I dig the lyrics, especially that last section about the filter dropping. However, this starts out musically in one spot, and ends in another one entirely, and I had a hard time making the musical leaps with you. It’s like three people wrote different parts of this song and then tried to stick it together somehow. I understand what you are trying to do; it just didn’t work for me. Maybe I just need more caffeine. Who knows.

Sockpuppet: For lullaby purposes, I’d like those bells (or whatever they are) to be less harsh or further back in the mix, or something. They’d totally keep me awake. Sweet and gentle otherwise.

Simple Syrup: Nice metaphor throughout, but it comes off a little desperate at the same time. The protagonist needs some confidence. This drags, and never really goes anywhere. The BGVs aren’t quite on with the lead vox in places either, which is offsetting. It needs a changeup of some sort somewhere, a bridge, or a rhythm change, something…

James Owens: So true. I woke up with an idea for Skeleton Key, and probably no time to work it up. Sigh… Not connecting with the music at all. For me, these lyrics are begging for a loud, obnoxious, possibly screaming setting, not moody and contemplative, but that’s probably just my personality.

Mandibles: I totally didn’t notice many songs attempting the ASMR option until I got here, although I’m sure they did. This one is the most deliberate and the most effective so far. You almost got me with what was going on in my right ear. Love the drums.

The Dormouse Choir: You have sincerity in your singing that is great. And that’s some fascinating imagery. Comparatively, you already know your production needs work, so I won’t bother to rehash any of that.

Hot Pink Halo: Interesting use of a typewriter. I’ve always wanted to pick an old one up at a yard sale to use in music. Interesting viewpoint on the lyrics, writing from the perspective of the typewriter. I love that. This might benefit from being a little faster. When someone is typing away furiously, the sounds on the typewriter or keyboard (mechanical keyboards FTW!) is much faster.

Jim Tyrrell: This one hit me in a good spot. The lyrics, especially the chorus lyrics, are fantastic. I like how it just starts, no intro or anything, it just drops. Not much to say except, yup, this is all around good stuff. 

The Magnetic Letters: Theremins are frickin awesome. I am enjoying all the little details of sound that you’ve added, those are very fun to listen for, but not sure where the story is going…

Berkeley Social Scene: Very interesting rhythmically. I can’t pull of beats like this, and it totally ticks me off. Are the lyrics posted, and I’m just blind? Total possibility I am blind. Overall, this is good. I like the outro a lot. Just feels right. Most helpful review ever, right?

Lollypops and the Sour Straps: Congrats on writing and submitting your very first song ever! That takes a lot of guts. Virtual high five! I like the lyrics a lot. Empowering stuff! And the break into the chorus, where everything backs off except the piano and the vox is super cool. Keep it up!

Cazaro Taro: The fuzzy keys and the brash drums don’t really fit together in my ear. Maybe a different, more real sound to the keys would help. And it needs more meat. You just get going, and then the song is done. Maybe I just need more content. I feel like there’s only half a story here. Does he get up the nerve to ask her out? Do they hook up? What is going to happen??? Maybe write a verse or two from her perspective. It just needs more.

Phlebia: Totally fascinating history lesson. I had never heard of it. My daughter lives in Africa (Burundi), so any song with African content instantly intrigues me. I like the tribal vibe you went with, although I’d back off on the cymbals. An interesting listen for sure.

Gizo vs. the 17,455: I don’t like where the vox sits in the mix. It sounds too far away, which might’ve been your intent, but it’s distracting. The other parts come in in interesting places in my ear though. Overall, the whole thing is draggy. And I’m not sure what the song is about, which is usually fine. Vague content allows people to write themselves into your song, but I am just not connecting with this at all.

Evil Grin: The intent with this song was to comment on the fact that women are discouraged from expressing their sexual wants, needs, and desires, which to me is just ridiculous. To keep it simple, the woman in the bar just wanted to have sex. That’s all. Maybe if I been more explicit in the lyrics so they better matched the instrumental, the sex sounds wouldn’t have felt so out of place for everyone; if it was all about sex, and nothing about how they sorta knew each other already kind of thing. (They don’t feel out of place to me, but maybe I’m just a weirdo.) We also looked for a sound clip of a man having sex. None of them felt right, the woman sounded better, which is a whole other area of discussion…
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves -Walt Whitman
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lichenthroat
Mean Street
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by lichenthroat »

This was a weird fight. In general, I didn’t think much of the songs the first couple of times through, but most of them grew on me quite a bit by the time I got around to writing reviews.

Berkeley Social Scene—The acoustic guitar sounds great and meshes well with the electric guitar. This is one of your best compositions; there’s the perfect amount of prog rock seasoning on a listenable song.

CazaroTaro—The lyrics are strangely poignant, tinged with both hope and sorrow. I don’t care for the instrumentation, but I have a strong genre bias to overcome here. I think the short duration serves to enhance the lyrical content by emphasizing the idea that the guy in the song only has a short window of opportunity before his beloved might get snapped up by another suitor.

The Dormouse Choir—Very Tom Waits-esque. I feel like this would benefit from one more instrument, playing sustained chords under the guitar. Nevertheless, it’s emotionally affecting, and I like it.

Evil Grin—I like the vocal mix, and I like how the chorus doesn’t follow the verse the way I thought it would. This seems like a more adventurous composition, and I think it works. One of your best songs.

gizo vs. the 17,455—I’m not sure what you’re going for, but I think I like it. (Except for that woodwind-sounding instrument in the chorus.) The sparse guitar arrangement works surprisingly well, particularly with the heartbeat drums and distressed-sounding vocal.

Hot Pink Halo—The typewriter really sounds like part of the song and not just a novelty. Somehow this just makes me a little happy. It’s weird but cool.

James Owens—This is funny, but the rhyming sounds rather like Dr. Seuss, which may not be what you intended. The piano playing, though not in a style I usually like, is performed and recorded well.

Jim Tyrell—This is really good: just pleasant to listen to. Nothing at all to complain about. Nice work.

Lichen Throat—I had trouble finding a lyrical subject for the title, so I tried something I’d never attempted before: just writing essentially meaningless lyrics, like Guided by Voices or Duran Duran. (So, yes, Adnama17, you’re right.) The vocal is bad and sounds like I’m drunk (which I wasn’t). I had intended to have the higher-pitched vocal be the prominent one, but it sounded even worse that way, and it wasn’t any better with each of the vocals alone. Next week’s vocal is less awful, I promise.

Lollypops and the Sour Straps—I can’t make out many of the words, and as others have noted, you might want to hold the microphone farther away. Nevertheless, I like your singing, especially in the first verse, where it sounds both confident and tender. The instrumentation is good too. I look forward to hearing more from you.

The Magnetic Letters—I always have trouble reviewing your songs. It’s clear that you know what you’re doing, and the performances are always very good, but I think we have very different tastes. That being said, I think this is my favorite of yours so far. Nice chord progressions in the fast part at the end.

Mandibles—This is fun. The mix sounds like it’s all over the inside of my head, which is inherently pleasant. The vocal is pure and flawless. The coupling of the name Alice with the powerful female vocal reminds me of Jefferson Airplane, which I suspect may be intentional.

Miscellaneous Jerk—For some reason I’m really put off by the descending melody at the end of the chorus (“know this modus operandi”). I like everything else, though. This is one of the ones that improved for me after multiple listens.

Phlebia—Somehow the discordance and cacophony meld into a listenable song. I’m not sure how you did that, but I’m impressed.

Simple Syrup—I think the sorrowful feel of the song might be better suited to ABAB rhymes, rather than AABB. The subtle harmonica(?) is a nice touch.

Sockpuppet—The beginning of this sounds almost like classical music, and then it proceeds into a gentle, though consistently interesting, lullaby. The vocal sounds good and fits well with the rest of the song.

Third Cat—The vocal sounds great! I like this quite a bit. It’s mixed well, and I never know where it’s going to go next. Successful despite its general weirdness. One of the best of the fight, even though you cut off the note at the end.
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Merle Fyshwick
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Merle Fyshwick »

Berkeley Social Scene - This is one of my favourites of this fight. 'Right. Now. It's time' - great, not sure what it reminds me of...maybe Tool, because I've been thinking about them. Really cocksure, in an amusing way, but then jumps into a nice pop mode for the chorus. 'I could believe the unbelievable' reminds me of a funny line in the Swaggin' Dragon song.

Cazaro Taro - Yeah, this is pretty good, it builds well and is nicely produced. It seems really sincere on the surface, but something about it reminds me of Ween's Hey There Fancypants (whatever that song's about)...or maybe it's that the vocals remind me of a straighter I'm Dancing in the Show Tonight. The song builds solidly, and the changes at 1:07 and 1:15 are pleasing.

Dormouse Choir - I think this is something my girlfriend would dig. If I was at a show and you were playing this, I would definitely pay attention. As a live performance, it's engaging; the words paint a vivid image, and it builds well. There is some characteristic string-buzz from the nylon guitar; that's not necessarily a problem, and I have friends who would prefer it that way.

Evil Grin - Ha ha, oh yeah, this is the sex noise one. It gave me a smirk, so good job. The chimey keys are sweet, the vocals pretty solid. The person-as-garment concept has been explored by Spinal Tap (flesh tuxedo), so you're in good company. 1:47, nice lift when the electric guitar kicks in.

Gizo - Ha, everything's reminding me of Ween. This one it's just the guitar that sounds a tiny bit like You Were the Fool. Really broad accent, I like. Yeah, mellotron - my favourite sound. I play drums in my friend Dave's band, and we just recorded a song on Friday that I think shares a similar sentiment, although Dave's song is squarely targeted at Scott Morrison. I can relate to the idea of shared guilt, but I think we'll just get hard labour in a wind turbine factory or something. Good song.

Hot Pink Halo - A lovesick typewriter:) When the harmonies get going, it's something like Everly Brothers, or an early '60s pop song with a hilariously needy protagonist - I think that's the joke, and it's pretty funny to me anyway. It reminds me a bit of my friend Claire Hollingsworth's music; quirky perspectives with disarming arrangements. Production-wise, really good.

James Owens - Shatner-esque, really moving piano, nicely produced. Nothing wrong with sounding like Ric Ocasek, I love The Cars, although lyrically not the greatest, melodically right up there - wow, didn't realise he'd died. Personally, I like the SF references!

Jim Tyrrell - The false return to the verse (but really it's still the chorus) is clever. Probably has the catchiest/most memorable chorus 'try me, and I'll try again'. Sounds a bit like Iris, which isn't a bad thing. This is a nicely-crafted song, good job!

Lichen Throat - I think I dig this, I haven't quite decoded it yet. Still on my Ween train of comparison, something like Polka Dot Tail. For whatever reason it reminded me of the story of the envelope of American Civil-War smallpox scabs that somebody found a few years ago. I like the backing track, it's kind of busy, like the march of progress.

Lollypops - Don't know if it's intentional, but the extremely close mic technique did give me a bit of a tingle, maybe because I was waiting for loud pops in my headphones (they never materialised, so good job on controlling that). I don't mind the abrupt instruments cutting in and out, it's kind of how I write these days, like a musical scrapbook juggling things around, and it made for an interesting listen. I always endorse people singing about video games (I guess it could be a card game or a board game); I've had games that I only played with a particular person, so I can understand feeling betrayed.

The Magnetic Lettuce (me) - I have an earlier take where the saws sit better in the mix - I think they became a bit distracting in the version I submitted. Hmmm, I had a concept where the guy got the message from the concentration camp, but ignored it, and 20 years later he found himself about to be locked away in a similar sweat shop. That seemed too tricky, so it turned into a weird paranoid fruit salad. I really got into binaural recording ten years ago, built a microphone in the shape of my head - that would have been good for the ASMR theme, but I didn't have it handy. Oh well.

Mandibles - The whispered vox weren't giving me the goosebumps, I wonder why not. Doesn't matter, cause the execution of this one is really good. Really impressive vocals. Nice use of the word 'nips' - really does have quite a few meanings, that one (i.e. Mental As Anything, The Nips Are Getting Bigger).

Miscellaneous Jerk - Nice stereo effect. Interesting chord progression, sweet vocals. The key change going from "If you think" to "try me" is appealing in a Split Enz-y way.

Phlebia - Wow, big change of pace after Simple Syrup. I like the 'Microsoft Sam' vocals, morphing into falsetto 'try me'. Epic toms. And the narrative makes me want to investigate...open Wikipedia...that's a dark story. Oh yeah, hectic 'ASMR' spoken 'wordspew', reminds me of that Tool song (Rosetta Stoned) where the guy is explaining about being abducted by aliens. Nice.

Simple Syrup - Great lazy drums, melodica(?). A weary plea from a sun-faded toy. 'Just get me off of this shelf' is deep!

Sock Puppet - Those keys; I think I've heard them somewhere before...This one almost gave me tingles, 'virtual haircut' style, the first one to do it. Oh yeah, that's right - you were explaining ASMR in the pre-fight, so good work on the ASMR!

Third Cat - That synth sound is cool at 30 seconds, and the arp at 1:20. Nice production. Yeah, wicked. That's definitely a cool way to accomplish a key change! There's an unnerving feeling while the pitch shift is happening, but it resolves as soon as the chorus kicks in.
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gizo
Push Comes to Shove
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Merle Fyshwick wrote:
Sat Nov 30, 2019 11:52 pm

Gizo - Ha, everything's reminding me of Ween. This one it's just the guitar that sounds a tiny bit like You Were the Fool. Really broad accent, I like. Yeah, mellotron - my favourite sound. I play drums in my friend Dave's band, and we just recorded a song on Friday that I think shares a similar sentiment, although Dave's song is squarely targeted at Scott Morrison. I can relate to the idea of shared guilt, but I think we'll just get hard labour in a wind turbine factory or something. Good song.
Bloody ScoMo. :(

I like the Ween reference thanks / used to play with a guy and we just kept trying to be Ween, but probably more ‘God Ween Satan’ era (have you listened to Birthday Boy recently? It’s beautiful)

I like the sound of this Dave fella. Tell him I said hi!
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Æpplês&vØdkã
Push Comes to Shove
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

Merle Fyshwick wrote:
Sat Nov 30, 2019 11:52 pm
Phlebia - Wow, big change of pace after Simple Syrup. I like the 'Microsoft Sam' vocals, morphing into falsetto 'try me'. Epic toms. And the narrative makes me want to investigate...open Wikipedia...that's a dark story. Oh yeah, hectic 'ASMR' spoken 'wordspew', reminds me of that Tool song (Rosetta Stoned) where the guy is explaining about being abducted by aliens. Nice.
I'm not really familiar with much Tool other than Lateralus, but did they do that twice? Cause Faaip de Oaid (sp?) Consists pretty much entirely of an echoing drum solo, radio static, and that guy on Art Bell frantically telling the story about being abducted by aliens...

That half-whispered bit was definitely my "talk too close to the mic" fake-AMSR bit. While I doubt anyone got the tingles for it, I was hoping that the feedback-ish drone from the bowed crash cymbal would at least create an unusual psychological effect...so maybe AMSR-adjacent if there's such a thing?
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

My bandcamp! https://phlebia.bandcamp.com
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Chumpy
Twilight Sparkle
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Chumpy »

Hi there! Instead of writing down our reviews like normal folks, we like to record ourselves talking about them.

Here is how you can play along at home: INDEX: Yow!
"I don't recommend ending on a bad joke." --ken
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Lunkhead
You're No Good
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead »

Ooh, secret guest! Glad to hear the review podcast again.
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gizo
Push Comes to Shove
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Re: You wouldn't dare... (Try Me Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Chumpy wrote:
Sun Dec 01, 2019 10:50 am
Hi there! Instead of writing down our reviews like normal folks, we like to record ourselves talking about them.

00:30:06 - gizo vs. the 17,455

Yow!
Thanks for the feedback - it's very helpful to me. I'm trying to get better, and hearing strangers have a conversation about something I've done is amazing to listen to and learn from. This podcast is fun and informative, and I really appreciate that.

FWIW, the very first attempt at pronunciation was correct.
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