SpinTunes 21 Round 2 Challenge - 'Modulator, Alligator'

[MicahSommer]

ST21 Round 2 Challenge

September: it's a time of changes. In the Northern Hemisphere, you may be seeing leaves begin to turn, and feel that first fall chill in the air. In the Southern Hemisphere, the days are getting longer and flowers are beginning to bloom. Wherever you are, change is key. So we're asking you to make some key changes too. Continue reading for your Round 2 challenge:

Modulator, Alligator: Write and record a song in which different sections (for instance, the verse and the chorus) are in different keys. Your song must include at least two key changes, at least one of which should return to a key from earlier in the song. Each key change must include both a change of tonic (home note) and a change in key signature (number of flats and sharps). To aid in judging, use your song bio to point out the timing and nature of your key changes.

Examples:

"Penny Lane" by the Beatles
"Head over Feet" by Alanis Morrissette
"Anthem" by Leonard Cohen
"Senses Working Overtime" by XTC
"The Last Good Year" by Jon Porobil

Submitting Entries:

Your entry must be received by Sunday, September 24, 2023 @ 11:59 PM EDT. Otherwise it'll be posted as a shadow. Received means that it has to appear in my e-mail inbox (spintunescontest@gmail.com) by the given deadline. I will be going by the time stamp on the e-mail. One minute late is too late.
You are allowed and encouraged to submit a draft of your song early just in case something horrible happens and you miss the deadline. Then you can add polish to your song and send in a better version closer to the deadline. The last version received prior to the deadline is your official entry.
Lyrics are mandatory. No instrumentals. Having no lyrics will get you disqualified.

SUBMITTING BY EMAIL: Send your file in a format that BandCamp accepts. (.wav or .flac) (at least 16-bit/44.1kHz) Do not send MP3s.
Name your file the song's title + your band name, without punctuation.
The subject line of the e-mail should identify the challenge and your band's name. Something like this would be fine: "ST21R2 - All the Robots".
Include the song lyrics in the body of the e-mail.
Include information on anyone that needs credited if you collaborated with someone.

ALTERNATE FILE SHARING OPTIONS: If your file is too big for an email attachment, you may email me a link to where I can download the song. The email still needs to land in my inbox by the deadline.
If you have a Bandcamp account you can just send me a link to your song if you include all the info I mentioned for emails. Info such as lyrics and song credits can be included in the email or on the song's Bandcamp page. Make sure you have it set as a free download, and have it set so that I don't have to put in an e-mail to download it if you pick this option.
You may also use a file sharing service such as DropBox, WeTransfer, Google Drive, etc. Include in the email any required information (such as lyrics) that you couldn't include in the file. Make sure I have permission to download the file, and please follow directions so your file doesn't wind up in my spam or trash folder accidentally.

SONG BIOS: In addition to lyrics and any necessary credits, you are welcome to include a "song bio", with any information you feel is useful. This could include your inspiration for the song, citations for any obscure references within the lyrics, an explanation of how your song met the challenge, etc. Some challenges may require you to supply certain info in your song bio. Since the judges are volunteers with lives outside of SpinTunes, song bios can help them zero in on aspects of the song you feel are important. However, if your song requires a multi-paragraph explanation in order to understand and appreciate it, this is probably a sign that it doesn't stand up well on its own, and its ranking may reflect that.

Side Notes:
You can send in an entry to SpinTunes 21 without competing. Just tell me it's a "Shadow Song". It will be played at the listening party, but won't be ranked and you might not receive feedback from the judges. Check the FAQ if you don't know what that means. You can even complete past challenges from previous contests. It's a nice way of playing along if you can't commit to the schedule or you just want to get your feet wet.
The only other way to get your music played at the listening party is to cover "Today's The Day" by Inverse T. Clown or "Right Again" by Mandibles.

https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... lenge.html

[DutchWidows]

Reviews seem a bit thin on the ground for this round, so as I started some earlier in the week, I thought I should finish them.

As a general comment before I waffle on, I just wanted to say that one evening this week I was wandering round my little town listening on headphones and I was struck by just how good they all sound. The standard of these songs is super high. Well done everyone!

I tried to listen out for the key changes, but to be honest, most of them are so well done that I lost interest in saying “that key change sounded natural and smooth”, “so did that one” etc. There are a couple of songs that make more of a ‘thing’ of the key changes (Sober and HPH are the two that spring to mind), and because those were in the minority, they stood out a little more for that choice (in a good way).

These are all short-ish reviews, as I’ve been on holiday from work for a couple of weeks, going back on Monday and I’ve been mad busy all week and not had as much time as I’d have liked to write these. I’ve still probably listened to all of them far more than I should have done given how much work I’ve had on – at least ten to fifteen times each – but as I work for myself, there’s no-one but me giving me a hard time about that.

As ever - the usual caveat applies. These are just the opinions of one idiot on the internet, and that idiot's wrong about most things. So probably best just ignore most of this.


Stacking Theory - Sea Change

This song made me think about how the challenge prompts song titles and concepts – I wonder if the “sea change” came from “key change”. I mean, it’s not hard to see where I got my idea from (“Modulator, Alligator” to “A Moderate Alligator”), and I wonder if others have similar processes where their brains take an element of the prompt or challenge and bend it to find an idea or inspiration.

Anyway, to the song. I love the rhythmic ‘baby’ chanting at the start (starts at about 12s), and was disappointed it didn’t continue for longer – I wanted it to come in and out as the song progressed, like punctuation. It’s a lovely, lush treatment and a really nice mix; the guitars in particular have a delightful shimmer to them and those ‘aahs’ are superb. The words have lovely rhythm to them. The lift into the ‘sea change’ section is just sublime and I don’t know what the sound is that comes in at that point – a distorted guitar maybe? A synth? A saw? – anyway, that sound is brilliant.

Mandrake - Chaotic Thought Process

The beat and the synths are great – they have great syncopation and energy. I think you said in the Discord that the vocal tone was a choice, and fair play for it. Relative to the music, the vocals lack top end and for me as a listener, it disconnects the vocal from the music. I would have enjoyed this a lot more if it had a more cohesive sound; as it is, I really like it, but that disconnect kind of keeps me at arm’s length a little.

iveg - Kara Lost the Keys

This has really cool, Sparks vibe, particularly the chorus. It has that slightly wonky, upbeat feel that Sparks do so well. The lead vocal was very prominent in the mix, and I would have liked a little more balance with the drums a touch higher. Cool subject for a song too – I thought the lyrics told a neat story! The “everywhere, everywhere” line resolves the chorus in a really satisfying way.

Glennny - No Fool At All

Nice, sunny feel. The instrumentation is really nicely done – lots going on to keep the interest, with the vocal sitting really nicely at the top of the mix. The ‘do do do’ vocal is a great earworm. The bass after the first chorus is lovely as are the backing vocals in the bridge. I even liked the guitar solo. No notes really. Just a really good song, done well.

Cavedwellers - Don't Take It Lightly

The horns are great, there’s a lovely lilting rhythm to the verses and the pre-chorus in particular is lovely. The way the rhythm guitar ties in with the drums is really nice. The chorus doesn’t quite float as much as the rest of the song, so feels like a step down, rather than a lift. Not to say it has to lift, just imposing my expectations as a listener. Nice use of percussion – just keeps everything grooving really nicely. Again, a really good song, done well.

Phlub - In Memory

I’ve read the liner notes to this about a dozen times, and I still don’t really understand what any of it means. The song though, is really nice. That melody at the start is really cool. I get Nirvana demo vibes, which is a happy place for me. I really liked the lyrics and I think they hit the stated intention squarely on the head.

Siebass - Turn the Key

I really like this one, but having mentioned Such Great Heights in the bio, I found it really hard to shift that song from my head once it had been placed there, to the point where even the sound of the words put me in mind of that song – an example being the word ‘inclined’, which just sounded really similar to the way The Postal Service use the word ‘aligned’. I know it’s not the same, but once it was in my head, I found it difficult to shift.

The extent to which one should declare an influence is quite an interesting topic – do you lead the listener’s ear more than is necessary by pointing to a clear inspiration or influence? There’s nothing wrong with wearing an influence on your sleeve (I mean, have you listened to what I do??), but I don’t know how helpful it is in this context… I’m probably just over-thinking it.

I didn’t really pick up on the chorus landing differently depending on the verse that preceded it - I suspect that’s my limitation. The song is really catchy though, the pre-chorus and chorus particularly, and it sounds great.

The Pannacotta Army - No For An Answer

This has a delightful rhythm to it. That handclap is just so nice in the first verse. For some reason it puts me in mind of Paul Simon – a really laid back, gentle but insistent rhythm, lovely guitar pattern, with a great vocal and super harmony vocal. It all sounds so natural that I sort of overlooked the complexity of it – there’s quite a lot going on, but it all just fits right. Really lovely.

Tunes By LJ - Modulate Me

A beautifully balanced mix – as with Pannacotta Army, everything sits just nicely where it needs to be. I presume that the use of ‘C’ (as in “Out there in the C”) is a deliberate play on the verse key and the sea. I liked this more aurally than when I read the words. I heard all the references as ‘sea’ and there’s some brutally frank imagery in there about being reclaimed by the sea. But when I read the lyrics and I got more of a sense of the words being about the musical journey, shifting back to the safety of the home key of C, and swimming up a third to E flat, etc, I found it a lot less engaging. Nothing wrong with it as a choice, but for me, it became more of a documentary than a mystery. Still sounds great though.

Sober - The First Will Be The Last

Additional marks for the use of the word ‘kibble’. Background oohs and aahs are great. There sounds like some foot stomping too, which gave it a great live feel. I’m not mad keen on the fast picking – don’t get me wrong, it’s all beautifully done, just not my bag. The key changes are really emphasised, which is a cool choice – make a feature of it. My favourite bit is the slight break and crack in the voice as the key gets higher towards the end. The strain to hit those notes sounds amazing. I would kill for a voice like that.

GFS - Ready

A great sounding song. The piano and voice sound great together, and that jump up into the chorus is superb. It really picks the listener up and carries them off. I really like the augmentation – particularly the ‘boop boop’ sound in the last chorus. Is that a mellotron kind of thing? Anyway – that sounds great. My only hesitancy in this is the swearing. Not the use of the words themselves, sing what you want, but the word ‘fucking’ is kind of spat out each time, which I found ever so slightly off-putting. Blimey, I’m such a prude.

As it was offered in the bio, I would really like to hear the piano/vocal version! I bet it sounds great.

The Dutch Widows - A Moderate Alligator

I tried quite hard on this to fix the things I was criticised for in Round 1 (vocal clarity mainly), albeit within fierce time limitations. I wrote the basic song (concept/chords/structure/two (now abandoned) lines of lyrics) on holiday, recorded guitars, keys, bass and basic vocals over some Logic drums on a single Friday afternoon when I got home, and then spent Sunday with my son finishing it. He tracked the drums, I finished the words, sung them, added some acoustic guitar and percussion, we mixed it, sent it and then had pizza. A really lovely day. I suspect it's a day that I will look back on when I'm old(er) and decrepit(er) with a lot of happiness. This song probably represents the pinnacle of what I can achieve with whatever talent I have. If this tanks, there is no hope for me.

Ominous Ride - Drift Asunder

The word ‘asunder’ is a funny one - I think I’ve only ever heard in a lyrical context, I don’t recall anyone ever saying it in conversation. Maybe I don’t have the right kind of conversations. It’s very often used to rhyme with ‘under’, so top marks for not doing that. The mix is a little muddy – it all sounds a touch dull (frequency-wise, not in terms of content) and lacking in sparkle, with the vocal in particularly suffering. The vocals are a little buried, which may have been the intention (it’s certainly the approach I normally take), but the words are interesting enough that I wanted some clarity.

chewmeupspitmeout - you don't belong to me

Lovely bright arpeggios to open, and the voice sounds weary and resigned in a really pleasing way that suits the lyric. There’s some particularly lovely bits (like “victimless crime/do it all the time”) – they have such a pleasing rhythm to them. I’m not sure I entirely follow what it’s all about and how it flows from the inspiration, but I don’t mind that. I like the air of mystery it lends. I think some of the reviews of your first round song mentioned the way words are emphasised in unusual places. It’s possibly less evident in this one, but I really like that approach. I’m all for word mangling.

Hot Pink Halo - Shape Shifter

The chorus is so, so good. Really catchy. This is the one I keep singing. I’ve found myself over the last week suddenly breaking into a bit of “sh sh sh sh shapeshifter”. A great earworm. The mix is a little off at times, with the vocal being more buried in the verses than I think suits the song, but I’m really in pot/kettle/black territory with such comments. If it was a choice, fair enough, it’s what I like to do, but I think a clearer vocal would carry the verses almost as high as the choruses. The choruses are great. Have I mentioned that already? Loved the backing vocals too – they’re kinda primal – a sort of ‘uuugh’ sound, but good grief they work well. I don’t normally like a fade to end, but it worked well here, as it sounded like things were still going on and changing, and as the listener it made really lean in to try to hear it all.

The Popped Hearts - Hey Jane

Nice upbeat poppy guitar track with a cool lyric. I would have liked the drums a touch louder everywhere but the pre-chorus as the guitar kinda dominates. Miscellaneous Owl wrote a song about Chuck E Cheese a couple of years ago that remains one of my favourite songs, so I’m well-disposed to the topic from the off (despite having no first-hand experience of Chuck). The half tempo section at the end was a great change of pace – worked really well.

nightingale's fiddle - Chicago

I like the harp and there’s a good strong vocal, but I was thrown almost every time by the vitriol in the lyrics and delivery for what is (or sounds like) just a crap museum (or “art installation and experiential museum” according to google). I just found the level of anger in the delivery, and the harshness of the words, to be at odds with the level of emotion the subject would typically generate. It must have been really, really crap museum and you must have really hated it... They obviously failed in their stated mission to “inspire human connection”, or perhaps, they failed to generate the kind of connection they intended. It would have landed better for me if I hadn’t known what it was about, and I could imagine a person as the target. Maybe I should get out of the habit of reading the bio as I listen for the first time.

Jealous Brother - Time Has Its Orders

I’m really poor at knowing what genre things fall into – is this country rock? Country-adjacent? Is it the slide guitar/lap steel that makes think of that? It’s a really nice song – everything where it needs to be, and it all sounds really good. The chorus has a really nice melody – it has a kind of Calexico feel to the rhythm of the words, which is a great thing in my book.

Brain Weasels - Intervention

This is very word-dense, although the delivery never feels overly-rushed, which is a cool trick to pull off. There’s a manic-ness to the guitars that felt a little dizzying at times – that with the vocal gives the song a very insistent feel, which felt a little at odds with what reads to me like quite a vulnerable and sensitive lyric. I would love to hear a sparser, maybe slower interpretation, but then it’s not my song, so who am I to say what it should sound like..? The “You seem to live in my head” line is so big (as in ‘epic’) that it felt to me that it had jumped into the song from a metal song. I really liked that contrast and gave the chorus a great jumping off point.

Jim Tyrrell - The Fall

Good driving piano – puts me in mind of Squeeze, perhaps a little in the cadence of the vocal delivery too. I really like the brass towards the end, and the ‘bup, bup’ section was really cool. Great melody. As with others, I don’t have much to say here. It’s a really good song, done really well.

Pigfarmer Jr - Say Goodbye To The River

The chord sequence in the verse is really pleasing to my ear; not sure why. I just really liked it. This is a really nicely constructed song for the most part (there may be a ‘but’ coming). It all sounds good - good instrumentation, nice vocal, good melody, strong title/hook line. The oddity for me is the instrumental section. There’s nothing wrong with it – far from it, I really liked the sound of it - it was just quite empty. There was no solo to link the two parts of the song, which is what I was expecting, or even an additional bridge vocal. I found myself singing my own additional bridge – taking the vocal up a notch with some long elongated notes, not even words necessarily, just sounds that stepped out of the main rhythmic and harmonic patterns of the song. I was left with the sense of a missed opportunity to take this to the next level, though that could just be me.

Governing Dynamics - Where's The Fire

This song sounds great on headphones. Not that it doesn’t sound great on speakers, but when it came on when I was wandering around, it kinda took my breath away a little bit. It’s a big epic sound – the vocals through the chorus are great. In fact, the whole chorus is great – really propulsive. The guitars have a gothy, flange-y sound that pull the song along in a pleasing way. I like this one.

Jon Porobil feat. Cybronica - Couches (SHADOW)

This has such a very dramatic start, that I found the jump into (what sounded to me to be) a standard(ish) bar blues shuffle, almost boogie-woogie-esque verse, a touch deflating. The first section gave me an expectation of something more epic, though Jon’s vocal does keep it above a more ‘standard’ bar-band type sound – there were some really cool vocal quirks and inflexions to keep me engaged. The ‘couch’ section is really cool and the overlapping vocals worked well.

▷ - Bottles

A glassy rhythm track, with some excellent advice around hydration. I enjoyed this, but as with the Mandrake track, the lack of higher frequencies in the vocal just divorce the voice from the music for me. I know it’s a deliberate choice, but it stopped me from getting fully on board. Of the two (Mandrake and ▷), I thought this one was the more effective at marrying vocal and music and the nice laid back feel carried it along beautifully. And the end of each Steve did remind to drink the cup of tea that I like to keep by me at all times. YIPPEE!

[Siebass]

ST21 – R2 - Siebass' Reviews

I felt like just a general comment for this round is there were more folks composing in-the-box than the last; I thought I’d be standing out by going full electronic instead of my usually guitar/drums/bass stuff, but I ended up fitting right in with a higher percentage (I think) of inorganic compositions this round.

Review Disclaimer: This is my hobby; most of what I know is from doing, and watching loads of videos about mixing, production, singing, etc. on the internet. I've only got my ears, my tastes, what I like and what I hear, so take anything I say with an Atlas' Globe-sized grain of salt. I try to be kind, and also helpful, so take anything I say as something to consider, listen to, and decide if you feel the same way about. I'll try to provide something critical as best I can in that vein; some are stretches, and simply my thoughts as an amateur musician. I hope what I have to say is helpful to everyone, even if just as something to think about. I wrote these quickly yesterday and today, and didn’t go back for my usual kindness edit on my feedback (I really should be working), so if what I have said doesn’t land as kind, please at least know that I meant for it to be helpful and kind even if I failed or didn’t properly express it. Now with that said, on to the reviews!

1.
Stacking Theory - Sea Change 02:45 - Stacking theory has that sound down pat, always know it's them. Cool groove with the “baby”. Good line in looking forward to cautiously warming your heart. Neat noise/guitar fuzz swell out the outro seachange part.
2.
Mandrake - Chaotic Thought Process 03:40 - Vocal is a bit muffled for my tastes (I think Ironbark suggested some potential eq tweaks), singing seems more like sing-talking than full-bore singing, and I think it would be better to my ear if it were really sung fully instead of spoken/sing-talked. Vocal is very dry (no reverb) and a bit off key to my ear in places; could consider increasing the reverb some pitch correction. but there are some solid harmonies in here. Instrumentation and music are a lot of fun with chiptune/bitcrushed sounds, nice electronic swells, and buzzes on sidechain-like pulses, I enjoyed the backing music a fair bit. Lyrics work well as a simple plea for clarity in self.
3.
iveg - Kara Lost the Keys 02:06 - Solid instrumentation; more care could be taken on the lead vocal (or at least considered) either with pitch correction, re-singing, some more reverb, and/or thickening (think a double of the main vocal an octave down and barely audible to give some more meat to it). I laughed at the lyrics, very clever and funny, along with the spoken bits and trolling, with the female vocal and throwing her off. Fun synth instrumentation I enjoyed a lot as well, and the KaraVan.
4.
Glennny - No Fool At All 03:31 – Enjoyed the instrumentation and the doo doos on the intro up high. Good head bob here. Subtle bass work. Lap steel or slide is a nice touch before V2. I don’t have much to say, this is very solid, nice solo as well. I guess the only note I’d have is the lyrics are a bit inscrutable, though I like how the chorus changes a bit each time.
5.
Cavedwellers - Don't Take It Lightly 03:48 – Horns, oh yeah! I dig it. Love the first part. Lyrics a solid contrast between the dressed in white/black for a wedding vs funeral, solid imagery and changing the perspective on the words. Perhaps a railing against G-d and the unfairness of life/death and all going according to some ineffable plan. Solid solo, I dig.
6.
Phlub - In Memory 03:56 I'm torn because this is clean, and I enjoy the loosely-connected phrase-ology of the lyrics as well as their delivery, and I enjoy the progressions and key changes in this, but I find myself getting into a trance while listening and kind of checking out a bit. Not sure if it's boredom, or trancedom, or what, but I just note it here in my review. Very solid song; perhaps some variation in the arrangement could wake the listener (or me) back up a bit, but very solid entry. Solid vocals harmony, and I dig the memory parts that come back each time.
7.
Siebass - Turn the Key 03:39 - Could have used some more vocal pitch correction and re-singing in parts for clipping, some more eq for the vocal in parts, but I'm fairly happy with most of my production/arrangement/lyrics on this one.
8.
The Pannacotta Army - No For An Answer 03:21 - Clean production again, and what really sticks with me is the beat on the 2 and NOT ALSO ON THE FOUR. This really sets the tone and the feel for the whole song, in a way I really liked. Great clean vocal and guitar picking, lyrics looking for space in a heart for unrequited unrealized love. Line dead drunk or sober, coming back looking for more. Very solid, one of my favs of the round.
9.
Tunes By LJ - Modulate Me 01:44 Super smooth, super clean, nice guitar line, I think I'm just a tunes by LJ fan, or maybe it's all the Persona soundtracks I've listened to; digging the syncopated piano and smooth doubled vocal, and landing in the smooth flat key of e, and the clever modulating back to safety since I think the key of C is often home on piano, right? Fun word play meta on the lyrics here too for the challenge.
10.
Sober - The First Will Be The Last 02:24 - My favorite part of this one is the arrangement in the attention to detail in that each transition is different from the previous. Some fire picking here, and I'm also super impressed you managed to (to my ear) get all the way round back to the original key but with the vocal reaching up an octave; it's a cool trick, and I appreciated the cleverness. Lyrics didn't do much positive or negative for me here; there were only a few times I had wished that the endings rhymed, and I enjoyed the barrel of ink line.
11.
GFS - Ready 03:12 – Solid ballad piano with soft verb vocal very strong open. My main criticism here might be just due to my Dad-ness, but hear me out. There’s a discussion with Seinfeld about jokes, and if swearing is necessary to make a joke funny, it might not be a good joke. I’m not sure swearing is necessary here for this lyric to be good; just something to consider. Could be “awful” .Swearing necessary? Clean, polished, love the sparesness of the arrangement starting out moving to more fulsome arrangement, subtle kick and then opening things up big, great dynamics.
12.
The Dutch Widows - A Moderate Alligator 03:43 - Fun instrumentation hampered a bit by a difficult-to-understand vocal, perhaps the issue is the vocal double (can muddle things up if timing not perfect), or perhaps some eq in the low mids to clear out some muddiness? Just can be hard to understand a bit. More of an issue in the verse than the chorus. Lyrics are cool and fun, I feel like I learned something about catfish, as did the poor narrator, now resting in the ground. Enjoyed the drums and guitarwork on this.
13.
Ominous Ride - Drift Asunder 03:10 – opening acoustic guitar work, some fun phasey guitars, heavy downtempo rock intro. Serious layered vocal right from the getgo. Honestly it might be a bit too much, since there’s no dynamic shift, just full bore vocal the whole way; might be more interesting to start single vocal with some doubles/harmonies in specific spots, then building up to the layers as the song builds as well; just a thought from me. Similarly maybe some eq for the low mids might help with some of the intelligibility of the lyric due to a lot of voices throughout. Very solid song, good groove.
14.
chewmeupspitmeout - you don't belong to me 03:33 – Fun arpeggios to start, beeps and boops, good groove to start; clean corrected vocal sounds nice. Solid harmonies, and cut out of the bass for the second part, solid lyrics, flying kite under power lines is a neat image. I enjoyed this one.
15.
Hot Pink Halo - Shape Shifter 03:36 – Solid guitar/drums/bass instrumentation, music is cool. Vocal: perhaps could use to be a hair louder for the verses, a hair down on the chorus; perhaps have some eq carve out from the rest of the mix; touch more of pitch correction; touch more reverb, and maybe some thickening (think a double of the main vocal an octave down and barely audible to give some more meat to the vocal). De-esser on the chorus would also help, as the sh sh sh s are a bit harsh to my ear. Solid arrangement. Really went for it on the key changes on the way out, was cool, nice work. …Wait, did I just catch some of the discord chat in here in the intro/outro? I remember we were talking at some point about pasta and rhymes, and Dorothy borothy. Nice touch.
16.
The Popped Hearts - Hey Jane 01:48 Music is cool, dig the chugged punky guitars. Vocal: something feels like it's missing, same notes as on a few others, maybe it’s dry (could use a touch more reverb), maybe a touch more pitch correction, and possibly some thickening (think a double of the main vocal an octave down and barely audible to give some more meat to the vocal). Enjoyed the story and the lyrics, as a former arcade denizen myself (I have one tattoo, and it's an NES controller on my arm). I laughed at the wakka wakka wakka pac-man reference. I enjoyed this on the whole, and some of the fun stereo panning work.
17.
nightingale's fiddle - Chicago 04:51 - Torn here, because the story and juxtaposition of the unexpected twist in the middle made me laugh the first time, but I'm not sure if it holds up on repeated listens. Lyrics were solid, a good story about someone who didn't need a second date. I have a similar comment as to about GFS, in that “is the cursing necessary?” as a question to consider, but it seems more fitting here as part of the joke and shock. Compressor might be nice to level out some of the volume all around the song as some of the quiet parts are very quiet with just the harp, and then the JOY and LINGERS are a fair bit louder than the rest. Great vocal delivery on “opportunist a**hole” the first time. Second point is in terms of editing and might be just my ethos and fears to try to carve out whatever I don’t need since people tend to not sit through the whole song if I ever let them get bored. So to that end, I’d say the song might be improved without the 15 second intro to the next intro, or alternatively use the first 15 and then hit the verse right in stride, as a thought. Especially since this is kind of a joke song, I dunno if you need to drag everything out. Same point from 2:20 to about 2:52; could have a short transition, or just hit right into the second verse, and that takes a 4:50 song down to 4 or so, and gets you more of the silly/sad/mad lyrics which I think are the strength of the song. All just my thoughts, take with a huge grain of salt, or don’t take at all, as per your prerogative.
Jealous Brother - Time Has Its Orders 03:33 – Clean, country rock/classic rocky feel to this, starts out right in. Really like the vocal, guitars, all of the instrumentation in this. Solid lyric in gum worn down jaw’s coming loose, and caffeine in the tank. Second vocal harmony also nice. Really polished, I enjoyed this. Is this about having a new kid? Hard to tell from the lyric alone (I’m on the bandcamp not the google doc), so maybe that’d be all I’d say is the lyric is a bit inscrutable on its own. Great one.
19.
Brain Weasels - Intervention 03:30 – Driving jane’s addiction feel to the guitarwork and (is that a cello not a bass???). Catch chorus, I really like it. The mix feels a bit small in the chorus, is it possible everything is up the middle without panning for some of the instruments in the chorus? I think that would take this up a notch if the stereo field widened up a bit more for the chorus (Guitars or extra guitars out wide, harmonies coming in from the sides, etc, just give the full feeling for the chorus). Could also just be volume of the guitars in the chorus, but don’t get me wrong, I like this a lot. Oh man, that screaming backing vocal sounds great but also like it hurt. Nice work here, one of my fav choruses of the round.
20.
Jim Tyrrell - The Fall 03:48 – Nice piano and more horns (I didn’t get the memo about horns this round apparently). Similarly, I like the piano stabs like in tunes by LJ’s tune. Very solid vocal and delivery; I enjoyed the cadence, solid mix. Lyrics well told story, enjoyed the line “I’m wondering what I stayed for”. Big note is great horns here, solid number. If you wanted to cut anything, and I’m not saying you should, the extended outro would be a target for consideration from around 2:30 to the end, but I did enjoy the listen.
21.
Pigfarmer Jr - Say Goodbye To The River 02:55 – Solid guitar/bass/drum work, and I enjoyed the vocal delivery/melody on the goodbye to the river. I have a similar note that I’ve made a few times here about the vocal; pitch seems just fine, but vocal feels a little either quiet, dry (not enough reverb?), or that it could use some thickening perhaps (think a double of the main vocal an octave down and barely audible to give some more meat to it). This one feels a little thin in that it also might benefit from a little eq to bring some of the body of the vocal back in in spots that sound good to your ear. Maybe some vocal harmonies would also elevate this one. Very solid track though, I enjoyed it, long text just to get that one note about the vocal in. I enjoyed.
22.
Governing Dynamics - Where's The Fire 04:08 – Fuzz wall guitars I enjoy, and the riff is nice too. Vocal is clear and easy to understand. Maybe a touch more reverb in the verse would sound nice (and maybe a bit of compression or vocal riding since there are very few words that disappear around 2:22 on the unconcerned)? I dig the harmony on the chorus, and solid refrain of where’s the fire, honey, and trading losses for gains. Solid bridge, solid song, I enjoyed, also enjoyed the guitar solo.
23.
Jon Porobil feat. Cybronica - Couches (SHADOW) 03:27 – Female vocal is great, solid build up of lighter to heavy for dynamics, wasn’t expecting the bluesy rock piano, pleasant surprise and juxtaposition. Male vocal is a little nasally, and possibly could use a touch of pitch correction around the “so many days” part? Fun vocal harmony on the next female part. Great outro medley on a couch is a couch is a couch is a couch, great instrumentation and piano work, really fun song, and catchy couch is a couch is a couch is a ….well you know. Solid solid song.
24.
▷ - Bottles (SHADOW) 02:52 – same comments on this as the earlier entry re: vocal. Cool bottle sounds and beat mixed up with the 8-bit chiptune sounds, fun harmonies. Seems like more discord inspiration similar to crumpet, we did talk about the WADR BADLS and how we say them around the world. Enjoyed the swelling ba ba ba bas. “Liquid” is clipping a bit and sounds a bit harsh to my ear. Silly one with water bottles filling the sky. Nice one, yippee!

[the panna cotta army]

Disclaimer - I’m very much an amateur musician. So these hastily jotted down impressions mainly about the music (I don’t tend to comment much on lyrics) are from my amateur perspective, which is tainted with the kind of biases, likes and dislikes most of us suffer from – especially when it comes to musical taste. I’d therefore urge you to not take them to heart, but do take them with a pinch of salt - if I've identified your harpsichord as a mandolin or said your 14-EDO murder-ballad sounds out of tune, I apologise in advance.

Glenny – Your round 1 song was class and this starts off promising the same. Lovely intro – great tight sounding acoustic, mandolin and do-do vocals. This is just so well put together. There are some great little touches sprinkled around - slide and jangly picking guitar, vocal backing ooos. All your arrangement choices are great – well okay, bar one – I think the solo lead guitar tone is a bit brash (yes I’m being picky! – also see Cavedwellers). But other than that, the performances both instrumentally and vocally are top notch, as is the production. When 3.30 goes by this quick, you know someone’s getting it right.

Nightingale’s fiddle – Well clearly you have nice pipes and play a mean harp. You also you get the prize for the most original composition. I would sum it up as adapting a disgruntled punter’s Tripadvisor review into a bijou operetta. Comfortably the longest song in the round at just under 5 minutes so stamina is required, particularly for repeated listens. I’m slightly confused as your song bio suggests the song is about the museum itself, but the lyrics appear to be addressing something more corporeal. I mean can a museum be a fucking asshole? or ask your name? or caress the side of your face?

Iveg – The Human League style bass gives this a big 80s vibe which I like. The dual harmony lead guitars of the recurring motif and chorus riffs are probably more akin to Thin Lizzy – another favourite from my youth. I think your somewhat flat vocal delivery in the verses suits the song well. The chorus has pretty catchy melody and main line. I’m on the fence about the background soundtrack drama towards the end, which imbues a sort stage musical number.

Cavedwellers – I like the uplifting energetic feel. Drums are super with an inventive beat. All the percussion is great. The vocal melodies of verse, pre-chorus and chorus are all excellent. I don’t know if they’re an influence, but I get a bit of a Vampire Weekend vibe, who I dig a lot. The brass parts are on the money as an arrangement choice, but it’s noticeably sampled, which I’m trying with difficulty to ignore. Us mere bedroom musicians have to make do with not having the Tower of Power horn section to hand! Good little understated solo - I don’t by any means have a total aversion on distortion but sometimes I think guitarists resort to that sound as a default. I’d personally probably have gone with a cleaner one here.

Phlub –The opening sound palette, vibe and the vocal melody sounds great. Your voice reminds me of Michael Stipe in the verses (I vaguely recall saying that before in SF). Maybe the jangly mandolin is leading me down a REM path? The sound is a bit more Cobain-unplugged in the chorus though, helped no doubt by your phrasing and inflections. The shifts in the chorus, especially with the slightly odd timing took a couple of listens to feel natural but once you’re there, sound cool. I like the tambourine coming in on the second verse though I’d probably have introduced some sort pace variation in the third verse before reverting in the last chorus. All in all though I really dig the gritty, dark, folk-country feel of this.

Siebass – I thought for a moment you’d cloned the opening beat from Take On Me but on checking, that’s quite different! I think it was your nicely nailed the 80s pop vibe that tricked me into thinking that. You pulled that off well using some period-appropriate synth sounds and a classic chord progression. Piano chords are nice in the too short intro but I guess song length was on your mind. The vocal melodies in the verses and chorus are well thought out. Someone said my round 1 vocals were mixed too loud. I’m not sure if that’s the case here or if it’s the intensity of your delivery. It’s quite breathless in places, especially where the melody gets busier.

Sober – Well no surprises that this is recorded and produced immaculately like every other song you put out. Everything sounds crisp and clean. I’d guess you had a bit of fun with this one; it certainly comes across in the performances all of which are of full of sparkle. You seem to be able to handle any vocals in your stride regardless which of the 4 keys here you switch to. I think you’re just plain showing off with the turnaround at 1.17, but all the clever variation in the arrangement is excellent at maintaining a sense of anticipation throughout.

Dutch Windows – That’s a lovely Johnny Marr, Smiths era jangly guitar tone which sounds like you’ve created using delay and chorus (or some other modulation effect). Not sure if you’re using a (physical) tremolo or not as well. The guitars brightness is a good contrast to the deep, even tone of your vocals. There’s an almost simple, nursery rhyme-like quality to the vocal melody in parts and your delivery leans more to staccato than languid. I think this might be why the flow of the song feels perhaps a touch laboured here and there.

Jealous Brother – I notice a harmony vocal in the intro. I think it’s there all the time but I can’t pick it up consistently. It’s really sweet, I think you should bring it up in the mix. I like this song a lot, it rolls along at a nice lazy tempo – I guess you’d call it country-rock or something like that. Sounds like the kind of song The Jayhawks would’ve done (are they still going?), only they’d have made more of the harmony vocals! It’s all performed very well and sounds great, especially the guitars. My one small gripe is there’s a recurring prominent hit on the ride cymbal, usually at the start of a bar but not every time. Once I’d noticed it, I couldn’t stop hearing it.

Stacking Theory – The breathy, whisper vocals sit nicely with the down-tempo rhythm and lush, fuzzy pad backing. I like the way the extended guitar strums accentuate the chord changes. The pre-chorus feels a little too drawn out. I’d have probably lost two of the “I haven’t gots”. But the short melodic build into the chorus is excellent as is the feeling of release when the chord shifts down on “sea change” and the fuzziness builds. Maybe I would’ve put some kind of additional (16ths) percussion in the chorus to give more lift and a change of pace from the verse. I get the feeling this deserved (or it was your plan for) another verse/chorus but that would’ve made it a 5 minute + song.

Ominous Ride – This evokes a kind of 60s folk hippy-ish vibe – a sort of dark, melancholic Mamas and Papas feel which you’ve created nicely completing minor chords and a fair dollop of reverb, though possibly a bit overboard on the vocals – the mix is a bit muddy and bass heavy. The mixed voice chorus vocals are great – not sure if I possibly might’ve used them more selectively. I’d have liked to hear you develop the “break” section more with the strings – if these are there in the rest of the track, I can’t really discern them. The intro and probably the outro feel a little too long.

Chewmeupspitmeout – I like the inventiveness your round 1 song even though it sounded a bit undeveloped. I like this too – it has a Soft Cell essence about it with its sparse synth backing and simple electronic beat. The weary mournful vocals are great. Straight into what I assume to be the chorus. It has a very evocative and catchy melody and those synth strings backing it up are an excellent choice. I’d have preferred the chorus to be somehow extended, but I guess leaving the audience wanting more is no bad thing. And you do reprise it twice more.

Hot Pink Halo – Blondie style three chord guitar power pop, though of course it’s got that great key change into the chorus. This song really highlights the kind of lift you can get with a well-chosen key shift. It’s a really catchy chorus though I’m not crazy about the phasey distorted guitar tone. The drum-breaks after the choruses and solo don’t really add much unless the key change back is too jarring without them. You’re struggling to get the words out quickly enough at times, especially with those Eurovision style one-up changes for the last choruses. I like the change of pace the little solo/instrumental section brings as well as the down verse.

Brain Weasels – I really like the intro and opening verse where it’s no percussion, just strummed acoustic with a nice tone and you can hear the pizzicato style double bass. The pre-chorus with drums and electric guitar is good too. I get that you’re building up for the chorus here but maybe you didn’t need to double up vocals yet? The chorus then just gets a bit overwhelming especially with that crashy open hi-hat. It switches to closed in the second half which sounds better though presumably this was done to differentiate for when the open hi-hat comes back for the bridge. On top of this, the vocals get a bit too exuberant and racy. There’s lots of energy here but it feels like it needs to be channelled or more selectively used. I would’ve preferred verse 2 to more mirror verse 1. A decent song but I sense it would work better with a more nuanced arrangement.

Jim Tyrrell – Took me a moment to realise what the opening chords reminded me of – Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon, though that’s as far as the resemblance goes. As with Cavedwellers song, the brass is clearly sampled though it’s not so prominent here, so you get away with it more. I really like the bouncy rhythm of piano and the progression – the well thought out bass line enhances this. The vocal melody is good too and your voice sounds strong. I’d have like to hear a percussion change for the “So Come take a chance…” section. The ba ba vocal part feels like it needs to be more up front and/or have more oomph but overall. Overall though, this song gets both thumbs up from me.

The Popped Hearts – Another slice of power pop. Nice intro - I like your use of the classic combo of chug-chug guitar and snaky synth lead melody. The gaming sound fx are fun linking in with the lyrics. Your slightly histrionic vocals are good too. The call and response in the chorus is great but I feel liked the first “Hey Jane” should have more impact. I’d have stacked a few more on top so it was like a chorus thing. I think I’d have eased down on the distorted guitar for the slower paced section from second chorus to end. Catchy, short and sweet.

Mandrake – The only song following more contemporary trends in sound choices and arrangement. I like how the glitchy percussion is mixed between dry + deep reverb/echo. The sparse arrangement of synth elements in the verses is nice. I think I have a thing about drawn out pre-choruses (see Stacking Theory). I’d have shortened this by a couple of bars or so. That big gated fuzzy pad in the chorus is neat. I think a bit of selective editing down of the structure would give the song a snappier feel without taking anything away. As mentioned by others on Discord, your vocal recording is lacking recording quality/top end but the performance suits the song really well – i.e. the slightly stiff delivery goes with the lyrical content. The additional vox backing stuff is a good textural layer.

Pigfarmer Jr – Both the verse progression and vocal melody are written well. Maybe that open/closed hi-hat should be every 2 bars. The electric guitar is possibly a bit too prominent. The next section from “And I don’t want to be..” also fits nicely with the general style of the song but it feels more like a pre-chorus than a chorus. I think I would’ve halved this in length, used as the pre-chorus and then written a chorus. The section after the third verse and before the last “chorus” is just backing. I would’ve included some kind of solo or instrumental melody so it didn’t feel so empty.

Tunes By LJ – Oh man, I love this. You are a magician for keeping the arrangement simple but still managing to get a gorgeous slick sound. There’s not a note or element wasted here. Your vocals just sound effortlessly smooth. The transitions into and out of the chorus are superb – great writing. The lyrics are witty and clever and fit the laid-back feel of the song so well. “Modulate me back to safety” is such a terrific couplet. You could double the length of this and I’d still want more. If you put a gun to my head and told me to criticise something, it would be that you used that lovely blues guitar lick three times without variation.

Governing Dynamics – Good punchy drums. Not sure what genre you’d call this – is it shoegaze? There’s a fair bit of reverb and distorted elements in here. I guess you’re going for a big grungy wall of sound thing but with the stuff already mentioned and others competing in the same frequency bands, it comes across a little bit of a bass heavy and indistinct mix, but maybe that’s what you mean it to sound like. The vocals cut through okay though it sounds like you’re stretching yourself a bit in the chorus. It’s good to hear someone doing something edgier and rockier amongst all the other somewhat tamer songs here.

GFS – Well I confess I do like a good old power ballad, so I’m a happy camper with this. It’s a superbly produced song put together with a pro-like touch and thought. Love the key change going into the chorus. It’s a fabulously big chorus too with a real earwormy melody. Great vocals throughout although being nit-picky, there is quite a bit of what I assume is lip noise that’s a little distracting. Not much else I’d want to criticise apart from the use of “fucking film”- It’s not that I’m adverse to a good F-bomb, it just seems a little affected and OTT here. An extremely well written and crafted song.

The Pannacotta Army – Is that guitar ever so slightly out of tune at the start? My mix seems a bit quieter than usual.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Pigfarmer Jr - Say Goodbye To The River
The oddity for me is the instrumental section. There’s nothing wrong with it – far from it, I really liked the sound of it - it was just quite empty. There was no solo to link the two parts of the song, which is what I was expecting, or even an additional bridge vocal.

Pigfarmer Jr[/b] – The section after the third verse and before the last “chorus” is just backing. I would’ve included some kind of solo or instrumental melody so it didn’t feel so empty.

I obviously missed the mark. I will say that the "empty" bridge was intentional. This is a song about death and the bridge is supposed to represent that absence. It's good to know that it didn't work as intended but I had already second guessed the idea multiple times. Maybe next challenge I'll be able to start earlier and have more listen back and tweak time. Or maybe even listen back and record something else for that part time.

Thanks to you all for reviewing.

[iVeg]

Based on my ratings I was expecting much harsher reviews. So thank you for being gentle and saying some nice things.