ST20 R1 Results and Judges Reviews

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Results
The first round of SpinTunes 20 is in the books. Our Round 1 winner is Also In Blue, followed by Sober in second place and Cavedwellers in third.

By scoring underneath the threshold, the following artists are eliminated from the competition:
Yeslessness; JW Hanberry; Good Niche Gracious; Night Sky; Loren Kiyoshi Dempster; Susan Veit Heslin; Ominous Ride; Phantom Woes; Huge Shark; Weiner; Profestriga; Mandrake; Roddy; Jocko Homomorphism; Menage a Tune

But never fear - if you submit a shadow, you might get reinstated if someone ranked higher fails to submit an entry. And in a field this big, the odds of that happening are pretty good!

Denise Hudson's reviews and rankings https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... udson.html
Gray Porter's reviews and rankings https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... orter.html
Ian Moore's reviews and rankings https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... moore.html
Lichen Throat's reviews and rankings https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... hroat.html
See-Man-Ski's reviews and rankings https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... n-ski.html
Micah Sommersmith's reviews https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... smith.html
Contestant reviews and discussion on the Song Fight bulletin boards viewtopic.php?f=31&p=230864

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[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - Micah Sommersmith
What a round! I'm grateful that - unlike our judges - I don't have to rank these songs, and just get to enjoy listening and offer my thoughts. But first, I do want to offer a few awards of my own:

Best in Show - Ironbark
Most Radio-Ready - Jeff Walker and Also In Blue (tie)
Catchiest Chorus - Yeslessness, Hot Pink Halo and The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy (tie)
Best Faustian Bargain - chewmeupspitmeout and Ominous Ride (tie)
Best Pyramid Scheme - roddy and Governing Dynamics (tie)
Best Desperate Attempt to Save a Doomed Love One - Temnere and Mandibles (tie)
Best Saxophones - Phantom Woes and Night Sky (tie)

Now on to the reviews!

Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day

A delightful story song with a classic folk feel. Some of the lyric rhythms read oddly on the page, but you make it work in the delivery - you’ve obviously been doing this for a while!


I’d suggest keeping the “It’ll come in handy one day” vocal chorus between verses throughout the song rather than the instrumental interludes, even if it would break up the narrative. It’s a great sing-along chorus (I can definitely picture you at a pub or cafe directing the crowd to join in on the chorus!) and it would make the lyric change to “It came in handy that day” at the end all the more satisfying.


Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock

At first I didn’t get why the verse vocals had a fuzz effect on them given how clean the rest of the production is, but then I realized that it’s a way to sonically distinguish the point of view in the verses from the different point of view in the chorus. Neat!


The title hook is instantly catchy, both for its simplicity and the vocal inflection you put on it. The rest of the song doesn’t quite make the same lasting impression, but it’s definitely a good listen. The ending line of the verse “he said while nowhere” feels oddly phrased both grammatically and musically, but I’m not sure I have a suggestion for a quick fix.


Daniel Sitler - Sunshine

The instrumental texture of this song is lovely; the bowed upright bass in particular sounds fantastic but there are other great details throughout as well. There are some really striking images in the lyrics and the use of light as a recurring motif works well, although there’s no real sense of why the relationship ended; “These days I don't see your light anymore” seems to come out of nowhere and it’s treated as a simple matter of fact that things are over.


I’m really not connecting with the vocal; the verse melody is too repetitive for its length and the vocal tone on the long drawn-out notes comes off as whiny. The first half of the chorus spends four lines toggling between two notes a whole step apart. The second half of the chorus is much more engaging, especially when you add in the almost shouted backing vocals which provide a nice contrast to the plaintive lead vocal.


The vocal also seems to drag behind the instrumental throughout a lot of the song; for instance at 0:58 in “You didn't seem to care about”, the word “you” is phrased like a pick-up note but it lands on the downbeat. I’m not sure if it’s an intentional choice or not but it’s another thing that hampered my ability to engage with the song.


The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back

This song is all about the atmosphere, and it’s beautiful. The contrast of short and long rhythms in the vocal keeps the interest up, and everything is performed and mixed flawlessly.


The lyrics don’t quite cohere for me - is it the opportunity to disappear and start over, or the opportunity to find love? But the music is so good that I barely care. I can easily imagine this in a film soundtrack over a montage of the protagonist wandering around the city aimlessly after just suffering a perceived setback. Or something.


Great stuff.


Balance Lost - A Temporary Window

I adore that synth solo! In general, all the instrumental parts are played, recorded and mixed very well. The vocal has some harsh high-end frequencies that made it hard to listen to (and understand) in the car, although it wasn’t a problem on other speakers.


I wish each verse was twice as long; it feels like you’ve only just established a mood and suddenly you’re moving on to the chorus. As for the chorus, I don’t think it’s quite strong enough to warrant the number of times it gets repeated.


The lyrics are strong, although I don’t know what “I didn’t come / Here for your amusement” means in the context of the rest of the song.


Single Pint of Failure - Don’t Believe in Hope

I haven’t seen Interstellar, but I suspect that even if I had, I wouldn’t have made the connection from your song to the movie, as your lyrics are fairly abstract. Not that that’s necessarily a problem; the emotional tenor and overall message are clear enough, and the “work work work” hook is pretty darn great.


It’s fun hearing you give a rougher, more rock-oriented vocal delivery; your voice sounds great on this song. I do think I hear some odd AutoTune artifacts in places, e.g. on the word “believe” at 0:25, “happen” around 2:10 and a few other places. I don’t have any objection to using pitch correction, but when it is detectable, it creates a specific effect, for better or for worse.


Weiner - Play Your Hand

I like the atmosphere you create here, but I wish it was more varied. The instrumental breaks provide some contrast, but otherwise the song is a pretty uniform experience throughout, and the lyrics are similarly one-note: the first two lines express the central idea and the rest is just variation on the same theme.


It is a pleasant listening experience and I never felt the need to skip the song, but it doesn’t leave much of an impression once it’s over.


Sober - Things You Can’t Unsay

In the past I’ve criticized you for letting your lyrics get bogged down in hyper-specific details. Here, I think you’ve swung too far in the other direction; the central concept is cute, but without any specific illustrating anecdotes you’re left mostly rehashing cliches (“Fuck around and find out”, “Better to be silent and thought a fool”, etc.). With a topic like this I want to hear a story, not an essay.


The music is fire, as usual. I particularly enjoy hearing the chromatic climbing motifs, especially in a genre where you expect things to be mostly or entirely diatonic.


Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line

I really enjoy the combination of pop/R&B flavored vocals and jazz piano solo. The overall mood is great.


You get in and get out, which I don’t have a problem with. In fact, I’d suggest a further cut: of the four instrumental beats after “But what am I so afraid of?” and “I just can’t let it go” - there’s nothing really happening in them, and cutting them would give some extra momentum to prepare for the higher-energy section at “The opportunity comes again”.


Stacking Theory - Make it Great

Vibes vibes vibes! I love the overall sound, with a highlight being the lead guitar around 1:50.


The profanity feels at odds with the positive message, though even so I’d prefer “an end to this fucking ceiling” rather than “a fucking end to this ceiling”, for reasons of both sense and sound.


Also… I know you love the beach and I don’t want to take that away from you, but you know what “it gets me wet” means, right?


Hot Pink Halo - Op shop

This song illustrates a cool and non-intuitive way to make your hook stand out: through the use of rests (or as you might say as a visual artist, negative space). You do it some in the verses, but it really stands out in the chorus, when you sing “What’s the [rest] opportunity cost? / It turns out, [rest] not a lot” - it’s just off-kilter enough to stand out, especially when contrasted with the fun cascade of “op” syllables that come in the second half of the chorus.


There are plenty of other lovely moments throughout the song; another standout is the vocal harmony on “X-ray machine” - another strategic use of musical contrast to draw attention to important lyrics.


In the chorus after 2:00, the layering of the electric guitars and violins makes things a bit sludgy to my ears; that’s about my only complaint.


Jeff Walker - Try Again

A gorgeous country ballad that your voice is perfectly suited to. The musical texture is pretty densely layered, but each instrument has its specific role and it never feels cluttered, a testament to both your performance choices and your mixing skills.


The lyrics feel like pretty standard fare for the genre, with some nice surprising turns of phrase (“When our futures and our feathers are so fine”, “A weathered hat in his hand”) and a few clunky cliches (“You were the one that got away”, “It’s not you it’s me”), but even the weaker lyrics are redeemed by the heartfelt delivery, and that melismatic “Try-y-y, try again” hook is simply perfect.


A standout entry in a round full of very good songs. Well done.


The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos

You have a gift for both melodic and lyric writing - the chorus is effortlessly catchy and the vivid concrete details in the lyrics serve to pull the listener in. There was recently a conversation in the Discord about the dangers of misinterpreting authorial intent, but I’m pretty sure that you know as well as I do that this narrator is a creep - he’s obsessive, he equates aesthetic beauty with meaning (and probably moral goodness), he imagines connection where there is none. The line about getting past security is the biggest tell that you the songwriter are critical of the narrator as well.


Here I might be reaching (maybe she* just likes nature documentaries), but to me the “monkey videos” that she watches could be anything - music videos, comedy, TikTok or Instagram reels - and the “monkeys” are the ugly and meaningless people who, to the narrator, aren’t worthy of being considered human. He* can’t figure out what she sees in them, since she, like he, is a Real Person.


The falsetto chorus is great, although yours isn’t quite the voice to pull it off completely. In general I’d like to hear some more menace in this guy’s voice.


*You don’t specify the gender of any of your characters, so I’m making an assumption here. But I think it’s a safe one.


Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife

Love the sound here, love your vocal harmonies with some fantastic suspensions. The concept is great, and the cynicism throughout the song is crystalized in the great line “Have a gun in your hand when you answer the door.”


Structurally, the “edge of a knife” section functions as the chorus, but it’s lower-energy than the surrounding verses. I think you might be going for a sense of quiet menace, but if that’s the case I’d like to hear some more grit in your voice for that section, or a growling bass pad, or something.


Profestriga - Useless Sapphic

Fun concept, fun musical contrasts, fun use of samples.


With this style of spoken/rapped/declaimed vocals where the syllables on strong beats get really strongly emphasized, you need to be extra careful that the stress makes lyrical sense - here you have some weird moments like “Her anxious longing’s IN plain view!” or “Thinking this girl make HER heart sing”. And some lines just would benefit from another vocal take, like “​​And you worry she might not be gay”.


Mandrake - Supernova

This song is brimming with cool musical ideas and a really compelling central concept. You manage to extract some real emotion from what could be a cold intellectual idea. I love lines like “let me study you and all your beauty for a while / n' let me look at you in all your beauty for the view and for the vibe.”


Your voice does not come through the mix very clearly, and I don’t think I would understand any of the lyrics without reading them as I listen. I’d encourage you to bring the vocals forward and give them more clarity.


In general your vocal phrasing flows naturally, although starting at 1:19 your decision to lengthen the second-to-last syllable of each line makes for some truly awkward jumbles of syllables. What I hear is more or less:


before it disappears and vanishes likeitnever waaaaas here.

before it goes away forever nevrtb seeeen aaaaagain.


With a very small lyrical edit and by shortening those late syllables we could have the perfectly natural:


before it disappears and vanishes like it was never here.

before it goes away forever never to be seen again.


The Practitioners - Heaven

Solid production, solid laid-back flow, nice use of the samples (though I’m curious what the source is and what the sampled vocalists are actually singing).


I often counsel against “rhyming for the sake of the rhyme”, but the rules are different for hip-hop; you do a great job piling up rhymes while maintaining a natural, unforced delivery, even if the strict meaning of each line doesn’t necessarily have more than a tenuous relationship with the lines around it. And the central concept comes through clear enough. Great track, an enjoyable listen every time.


The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance

Fun tune with a clever lyrical hook and a great way of describing this kind of relationship. I like the details in the lyrics too: Sally Rooney, “my suburban cul de sac”. My ears would love to hear more of a cleaner 2000s pop-punk production, but maybe that’s just my own preference. I really like how the snare drum emphasizes the words “tactics” and “praxis” - that’s a cool detail.


Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo

Call me a grump, but I maintain that comedy songs should have actual jokes in them, and not just a jokey premise. This song relies on the listener finding the central premise of “hillbilly selling an electric vehicle” funny. Sure, it’s kinda funny, but it’s not a full song worth of funny, especially when the melody and instrumentation aren’t super engaging on their own either (though maybe you’d argue that the stripped-down acoustic instrumentation is also part of the joke). I did chuckle at the censoring truck horn.


Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way

This is a lovely tune with a strong narrative. You don’t provide a lot of specific details, but the outline is clear enough: a child performer pushed by their parents into a career they don’t really want, until they finally find the strength to walk away from it. So many stories about child stars have an air of tragedy to them, so I appreciate that this one ends optimistically, even while acknowledging that it’s not an easy choice the narrator has made.


Both your voice and guitar playing are beautiful, but it feels like your voice drags behind your guitar at times; this may be a result of your tendency to swell dynamically right after the onset of a held note, such that it feels like you haven’t really “arrived” at the note until partway through. Not sure if you’ll hear this as well, or if it’s a concern for you, but it’s something I noticed.


Siebass - Just Go Away

I love the energy in this song. The madcap vocal harmony has some highly questionable tuning moments, but it’s delivered with such complete conviction that I feel like I can let it slide.


I love all the absurd details throughout the song - this is a great example of not just relying on a funny premise but backing it up with specifics. “New Stranger Things at ten” is a great line, but you might consider switching it out in later choruses for other excuses.


There’s some whiplash at the beginning - from the opening guitar chords I expect a sort of psychedelic country tune, then we have a thundering drum fill, but it feels like a fakeout because the energy immediately backs off at 0:06. You might consider simply starting with the drum fill at 0:11 leading directly into the first verse.


The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?

I really like this song. It combines the dreamy, hazy feel I’m used to hearing from you with a more narrative structure. I’m obsessed with the little bonus rhyme at the end of each stanza (e.g. “to the park in the dark”) and impressed that you maintained it faithfully throughout the song. In fact, the lyrics are very strong throughout. The only clunkers in my opinion are the line “The only way to capture time is a clock” which feels like it’s trying to be more clever than it is, and rhyming “midNIGHT” with… “night”. Oof.


Love the story, love the sound, I’d maybe bump up the volume of your vocal just a bit. I know the wash of sound is kinda your style, but it would be nice to hear those lyrics a little more clearly without having to rely on the lyric sheet.



Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity


There’s so much great stuff here - the creepy cabaret vibe, the parallel major-minor swings, both the chorus hooks, the madcap energy that builds toward the end of the song. The overall form is strong too, with three independent stories connected by a common theme expressed in the chorus. (For two very different examples of this form, different both from each other and from this song, check out “Certain People I Could Name” by They Might Be Giants and “Tight Rope” by Brother Ali. But I digress.)


The verse lyrics could stand some pretty heavy editing, I think. First off is the length: at 20-24 lines each, it’s worth interrogating how important each stanza is and whether some could be cut or combined. Then, as you go line by line in the verses, there are some questions you can be asking yourself, like:


What’s the overall metrical pattern, and how strictly or loosely am I adhering to it? You don’t have to have every syllable line up perfectly in every line, but you should be aware of when you do or don’t. For instance, in the first stanza the first line is heavy with sixteenth-notes (“leave the sea and travel to a”) where the third line is eighth notes (“we’ll leave all your things behind”).

How does the meter of the lyrics line up with the meter of the music? E.g. in most lines the final rhymed syllable lands on beat four of the measure, whereas in the beginning of the second verse “grand” and “land” land on beat one of the next measure.

Is anything awkwardly phrased in order to force a rhyme? E.g. “hide in the basement of your neighbor” vs. “hide in your neighbor’s basement”.


The point isn’t to make every syllable line up in a perfect grid; the point is to be aware of where every syllable is, and to make each syllable a conscious choice. Carefully making these choices as a writer makes your job as a singer a lot easier; there’s less second-guessing how to phrase the line, your delivery will be more confident, and it will result in a more engaging and compelling performance.


Speaking of your vocal performance: the chorus vocals are fantastic, both the almost-whispered menace of “There’s knocking at the door” and the in-your-face exuberance of “One big building together”. I’d encourage you to bring a lot more of that theatricality to the verse vocals. I know the song deals with serious real-world issues, but you’ve chosen to play the part of the villain, and the lyrics drip with irony throughout. Let’s hear the sneer!



Roddy - Piano opportunity


This song absolutely depends on the quality of the piano playing itself to sell it, and thankfully you deliver. The Randy Newman schtick grates after a while - I don’t need the song to be longer than it is - but the lyrics do a great job of dropping more and more obvious hints about the underlying grift before finally coming right out and saying it at the end. Critiquing something by having your narrator espouse it is a difficult line to walk, and you do it well here.



Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!


I really dig the harsher, grittier sound, which fits the aggressive lyrics really well. The vocals feel a little underrehearsed, or maybe you’re not quite the right vocalist for this song; it’d be fun to hear more grit in the vocal.


The chorus is the highlight - I love the “running” / “gunning” rhyme and how the second line extends after “gunning” making it a surprise internal rhyme. Neat trick!


I think that “cement this building floor by floor” means to turn every floor into the supposed ground floor so that you can keep getting suckers “in on the ground floor”, but it’s an odd way of expressing the idea that gave me pause for a while.


Yeslessness - My Secret

The music here is a delicious blend of playful and sinister that perfectly complements the lyrics, which are nicely bizarre in their specificity. The hook “Someone else would try to control themselves” clearly has too many syllables, with “to control” jammed together awkwardly… but by repetition you manage to make that awkwardness indispensable to the catchiness of the hook. It’s great.


I’m not sure what the bridge contributes to the song, other than a brief change of mood - to me, the whispered section is just weird, and not in a good way.


James Young - What Can I Do?

Delicious harmonics on the acoustic guitar. This song has great dynamic range; huge contrasts while still feeling like they belong in the same song.


Love me that AABCCB rhyme scheme in the verse, and the title hook is simple enough to be instantly memorable. No real complaints about this song; while it’s not as attention-grabbingly inventive as some other songs in the round, it’s a solid track that I enjoyed on each listen.


thanks, brain - Looking Down

The compelling sonic landscape and vivid imagery in the lyrics thankfully prevent this song from coming across as a Luddite screed. It clearly is coming from an inside perspective, so there’s no smugness - except a bit in the closing section, where the direct lyrics and absence of metaphorical/sensory imagery makes for didacticism - as if to say “if you didn’t get it yet, here’s the point of the song”. It doesn’t ruin the song though, which is overall a lovely and engaging track.


JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin’

This is an ambitious mix of genres that, for me, doesn’t quite come together. I’d be interested in hearing the rock and electronic elements more integrated with each other, as opposed to the different sections feeling pasted together from different songs.


The lyrics are well-written, especially the verses - I’ll always appreciate an AABCCB rhyme scheme. But it’s not clear to me what you gain from speaking the verses rather than singing them; it almost seems like you wrote them to be sung but couldn’t come up with a melody you liked.


Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft)

You guys are total pros, and this song is impeccably performed and produced as usual, but emotionally it leaves me cold. The lyrics tell us that this guy is putting everything on the line for his dream, but neither the vocal performance nor the instrumental arrangement conveys the urgency or vulnerability inherent in the lyrics.


“The last gasp of an empire” is also an oddly dismissive way for the narrator to refer to a sport that means enough to him that he’s giving up his career and stability for it.


chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die

The atmosphere is fantastic - your plaintive vocals, the tremolo guitar, the synth pads… it all adds up to a creepy vibe that perfectly complements the story you’re telling.


The call-and-response between the vocal and guitar, while great for atmosphere, makes the story drag; what if you kept the call-and-response in the first half of the verse, while the second half was shortened by removing the guitar response, so that e.g. “A cavalier’s blade (do doooo do do) / Plunged straight through his chest (do dooo do do)” becomes simply “A cavalier’s blade plunged straight through his chest”. This would lend some variation and build the momentum going into the “I beseeched the Lord” section.


Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth

Ironic that a song about a sloth is so high-energy. It's certainly a fun listen. The solo vocals are sloppy, but when everyone comes together it somehow works. Maybe focus more on group vocals and less on solo vocals?


One vocal line I have to single out is "I move to go achieve my dreams", where you emphasize the first syllable of "achieve" for absolutely no reason. The line makes just as much musical sense if you pronounce normally.


The Alleviators - Hit The Ground Stumbling

This sounds more like Governing Dynamics than the Governing Dynamics song does this round. It’s slow and dreamy and subdued, which means it takes a few listens to make an impression. But once it does, it’s worth it. My biggest criticism is that the vocals seem under-rehearsed and under-confident.


Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air

This song, and this recording of it, reflect your skills as a community song leader: a simple, easily grasped melody, direct lyrics with a clear point of view and effective rhetorical devices, one-take professionalism in both your playing and singing, and an ability to improvise and engage on-the-fly with your (unexpected!) audience.


I don't think this song has reached its final form yet, judging by the differences between your lyrics as written and sung, and you may find that some parts, like the “In every moment every possibility…” section, actually belong in a different song.


"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Knockin’ on wood

A solid, fun entry with an instantly infectious sing-along chorus. The lyrics are pretty non-specific, which works to make the song relatable to anybody, though I would like to hear some more concrete imagery. The line about smashing the windows in is a great example of how to make a cliche fresh by giving it a twist.


The vocals and acoustic guitar dominate the mix; I know there’s drums and electric guitar and stuff in there but it’s so buried it doesn’t make much of an impression.


Jealous Brother - Missed Calls

For starters, I love the instrumental interlude/prechorus/intro - the unison electric guitar and ride cymbal made me think I was hearing a twelve-string acoustic at first - a cool effect!


Overall, it’s a really enjoyable country-rock tune. My only complaint is when you do the vocal layering at the ending - “There’s always next summer” is only layered once under the end of the chorus, and the two different vocal lines are mixed similarly enough that it just feels like clutter. Either lean into it, put “There’s always next summer” under the entire chorus, make some different mixing choices and make it a whole thing; or just wait until the chorus is over to have “There’s always next summer” as an entirely separate coda.


Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity

That “Wake up / it’s time … make up / your mind” rhyme scheme is so good it actually makes me mad. I’m just sitting here mad about how good this song is. It’s folk-pop perfection.


The bass that comes in to double the lead line at 3:30 sounds out of tune to me. There, I found a criticism.


Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry

An ambitious entry that would have fit well in SpinTunes 19 Round 3 “Let’s Circle Back to That”. The texture is not as immediately accessible on first listen as many other songs in the round, but it rewards repeated listens. The vocal tends to get buried under the layers of saxophones.


Your bio states that the opening word “Love” is the only word sung in unison… but the HIM voice doubles HER throughout most of her part, unless I’m hallucinating. A guide vocal that didn’t get deleted? If it’s an intentional choice I’m not sure why.


Ominous Ride - The Deal

When I think of ways to create contrast between a verse and a chorus, lyrical density is a big one. Normally I tend to have more dense verses and less dense choruses, but here you’ve inverted the formula, and to great success. When you start singing “You might have faith / but you ought to know” the fast-paced lyrics serve to ratchet up the tension and energy levels.


The lyrics suit your musical style very well; that relentless guitar riff that threads throughout most of the song is nicely ominous and the meedly-meedly guitar solo is positively Satanic.


Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx

Fun to have Beatrix back with us - I see xe made the leap from xyr dead-end job hawking kitchen knives to magical creature seeking. The synth arpeggios do a great job setting the mood, and Cybronica’s MFA in Evil Laughter has really paid off.


Beatrix’s vocal part is mixed very hot, and your vocal delivery feels like you’re hammering every note - it’s fatiguing to listen to. I’d aim for a slightly more conversational/expressive vocal delivery. The voice of the cave(?) is more natural-sounding, perhaps ironic since it’s a non-human voice(?), giving you more opportunity to play with delivery.


Let’s talk about pronouns - second-person pronouns to be specific! The cave addresses Beatrix with thou/thee pronouns, but not very consistently and often without the corresponding verb forms. Here are the changes I would make based on my understanding of the relevant grammar:


Weeping stone and iron links,

Hungry lies the captive Sphinx.

Through the ages doth she brood,

Thou dear morsel art her food.


…


Sphinxes are a fickle kind,

Acid tongue and sharpened mind.

Bow thy head and state thy name,

if thou darest to play her game.


…


Bane of demon, witch, and elf,

Knows thee greater than thyself.

Shouldst thou give her answers true,

She shall do the same for thee.


Basically, if you’re going to use archaic grammar, I’d encourage you to try to do so consistently.


Speaking of grammar, it seems like in this world Beatrix has adopted a sort of lofty manner of speaking, compared to xyr language working at the mall (compare “​​There are some who call me fool, / I would think it zeal” to “Dead-end track and I sprained my back / I could use a beer”). I don’t have a problem with it in general, but I do wince at “Not here lies the end”, which strikes me as an awkward forcing of the “end”/”friend” rhyme.


Night Sky - Janus Lies

An intriguing concept that I don't think gets fully fleshed out. The lead vocal is rough but the choral backing vocals on the title hook sound fantastic. The saxophones are likewise great in their melodic interlude but elsewhere they're wasted playing while notes.


Ironbark - Privilege

This song is fantastic. It’s the specificity that sells it - the age, the word, the book voucher, “I even put a D in it”. The combination of concrete exterior details and interior emotion is just perfect.


There’s an excellent webcomic called “Hyperbole and a Half” by Allie Brosh, in which the art style appears amateurish, even sloppy, until you realize that every detail is carefully chosen and the pictures are conveying exactly what she wants to convey. Musically, this song reminds me of that comic: at first you hear the cheap drum machine, the simple organ, and the subdued, conversational vocal delivery. Then you realize that the vocal is bang on pitch every note (with some lovely ornamentation like on the word “wrong”), and the organ is playing some pretty tasty chord progressions. And then there’s the lush harmony vocals, which only appear to illuminate Karen Wong’s name, or what he imagines her thinking (e.g. “Karen Wong deserves a clever fella”). I’m a church choir director, so maybe I’m reading too much into this, but to me the vocal harmony on her name illustrates that he has essentially elevated her - or the idea of her - into an object of worship, despite being completely mistaken about her true nature (and ain’t that religion for you, after all).


This song has everything that it needs, and nothing that it doesn’t. Superb job.


Temnere - Sands of Time

A bangin’ track with soaring vocals, delicious riffs, and high energy. What else do we expect from Temnere.


The vocals sound fantastic, although a few spots like “our foregone tragedy” is uncharacteristically loosey-goosey, rhythmically speaking.


I’m not sure what the stripped-down reprise of the final section achieves; I’d rather have a continuation of the story to find out what happens when he actually casts the spell, or end the song early.


“Deafen” is a verb, not an adjective.


Menage a Tune - Push It

An effective retelling of the source material - good job in particular hinting at the twist at the end without being too obvious.


In a story song like this, having a musical contrast between the verses and choruses would help a lot. As it is, they have essentially the same melodic contour and rhythmic density, and there’s no instrumental track to provide variation either. As a starting point, you could try cutting the first two lines of the chorus so it’s just “Just press the button, the cash will be here / There’s no need to worry or fear” - and then sing it at half tempo with a different melody - some leaps perhaps, anything to generate more variety.


Watch out as well that you’re rhythmically emphasizing the syllables that it makes sense to emphasize - a few places like “Chain smoking THESE cancer sticks” stick out as unnatural-sounding. If you can’t figure out how to phrase the line naturally, a rewrite is probably in order.


Jerkatorium - Opportunity

The trademark Jerkatorium energy and dense rhymes are here in spades (love “intimacy”/”into the sea” and “crisis”/”Christ, it’s”/”price is”/”ice this”), but it feels a bit Jerkatorium-by-the-numbers. The lyrics would really benefit from some more specific details. The rhythm guitar is also too loud to my ears.


Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master

Okay, this rules, actually. It’s a great little earworm with high replay value. I think the drums should be louder. The energy in the vocal is great but the multitracked vocal lines should be more rhythmically coordinated - 0:35-0:38 is especially egregious.


Now I want to do a thing where we randomly select three SpinTunes participants and make them write a song together.


Mandibles - Time Machine

Lovely stuff here. The pre-chorus and chorus melodies hit me right in the feels. Lyrically, things are sort of squishy and vaguely poetical (or poetically vague), which I think actually works really well in this style - and then you get a couple lines like “But there’s a little thing I could do … Go back in time and then forget” which are so direct and prosaic they stick out awkwardly.


Cybronica’s voice is a bit muddy compared to the rest of the music which is all pretty crisp. The screaming electric guitar is a great contrast and works really well. The piano that opens the song sounds clunky and cheap to me.


Weiner - Seven Card Stud [SHADOW]

I think you made the right choice picking “Play Your Hand” as your official entry, as this one is a bit too aggressively weird - but I wouldn't have minded if a few of the unorthodox choices you made here had made it into “Play Your Hand”.


Hutch - Opportunity Knocks [SHADOW]

Charming lyrics that I think would benefit from a simpler melody with fewer leaps.

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - Denise Hudson
Rankings from Denise Hudson, AKA DJ Ranger Den:

ST20Denise.JPG (58.65 KiB) Viewed 313 times

AN INTRODUCTION

Your songs were delightful, delicious. But there are a great many so this all got a bit Sisyphus-pants. I enjoyed something about EVERY SONG, so I was a little alarmed at the quality selection for making my task exquisitely tricky. I regret that everyone can't be ranked highly. I hope it all comes out in the wash.

Ultimately, your opinion is more important than mine as far as your music is concerned. Submitting to something like this is an act of bravery, and I honestly think we can get very cavalier about it because we do this so often. But you are sharing something personal, and do deserve kudos for this.

Sadly, there was not enough time to listen/proofread as much as I would have liked. I originally had this grandiose idea to film myself reacting to my first listens and writing some—but this was Madness and Folly...

If I don’t talk about your lyrics much the music and lyrics connection probably didn’t sink for me, or it sounded too much like something else that has already happened before—in a way that did not pique my Hook Hearer. I wrote these in real-time for the most part and tweaked here and there as I could with 3-5 Ranking Listens. So as usual, forgive made-up words, run-ons, over-the-topsy-turns of phrase, arbitrary punctuation/capitalization, and any tiresome repetition of concepts.

And again, thank you for your work.

Songfully—

Den



Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day

Your lyrics are incredibly detailed and specific for some of this. It's so meticulous that it is charming: "the bulb on the bag valve" ...a battery "of 18 volts..." Style and aesthetic reminding me bizarrely of an Austin Lounge Lizards song with some deeply convoluted lyrics! And I kept moving this around in the rankings for one reason. I have been walking around my house for a couple days singing: "It will come in Handy One day." In key. Every time. (I do not have perfect pitch)

I picture your song in a trim vest riding a penny-farthing on its day off. I enjoy this aesthetic, your performance, and your story. I would describe your vocals as droll and perhaps bearded like a gold prospector from the 1800s. Also—very lively and consistent accompaniment that holds up the story just fine out there on its own and is a worthy partner to the storyteller ... a song that didn't need anything else ladled on to it, so bravo to you!



Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock

This is so catchy, but the distortion on your vocal is bothering it a bit for me. This seems like a really sticky hook yay! I love the stop at the end and throughout, your EPiano being so percussive. The chorus does have a real snap to it! You handle that vocal nicely too, so the distortion doesn't bug me as much there. Just the other thing. "Tried it once… don't like it / I won't try anything new ever again." Lol great line. I enjoyed this song and its archetype so much and the performance, but the sound gets hard on my ears, and the vocal/cymbal/organ w/tines combination amalgamates to hurt my head. But performance/style, lyrics—really excellent!



Daniel Sitler - Sunshine

This is very heartfelt and earnest. It's a passionate and emotional delivery that absolutely carries the message and the tone of the song on its back perfectly. The chorus is engaging and lands agreeably, making a well-presented contrast. It ends sweetly and lands on a ear-ful moment. Sometimes your accompanying guitar lines distract a bit from your melody, which gets a twirtch repetitive in repeated verses. I wish it would develop and maybe have a bit of variation on later repeats. The harmony and vocal effects at the end of it all (particularly on the last chorus) were exactly that kind of right idea.



The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back

The layering and the build on this set a great scene! But I feel like the guitar is a bit edgy for the roundness of sound— maybe like the kick and the claps were a tad heavy-handed—possibly I could have done with some more ethereal effects on the vocal because sometimes the range got only slightly jarring. But there was a crispy crunch around the edges when it needed to be all soft shades, as your singing voice has a velvety smooth quality. You don't deviate from the melodic line much, but the lyrics and melody fit nicely together. It all feels like a cinematic dance (a sort of waltzy swish), and I love how the lines come in triples in this sort of meter. It gave a nice, picturesque flow … "You shy away from love / as if it were a trial / overcome the fear in your heart."



Balance Lost - A Temporary Window

Wow. I like the cadence with the held note at the end of this! The rhythm track too. And isn't this subject matter a deep well? — I love how you framed it, wrapping up a whole vibe with the way you treated your vocal well. That's the synth that sounds like it was played with a pen! (was that a stylophone?)—or something I heard in a cartoon.. anyway, it really works with this so nicely and ends the song precisely right. The track is a bit noisy but the vocal sounds pretty damn hip while still having some stride to it, and I like this use of chorus on a vocal because it gives me that nostalgic vibe. Also, the song is thoughtful while also ringing a tad bit melancholy. Like our struggle in this ridiculous business, I guess.



Single Pint of Failure - Don’t Believe in Hope

Loving the name of your band. And this song is so gungy. There is a real warbly effect on your vocal that makes you sound gurgly and digital against the guitars, and I feel like robots are shouting at me dystopically. I like the chorus because I have a soft spot for chanty, repeated words--and this one is nice and hooky. This catchy melody has a triumphant conversational patter centered mostly within a third of itself on the scale. It gets places with sheer guts rather than hopping all around with intervals and fast passages. I found this to be an effective and non-distracting way to frame the rhetorical questions that we should ask ourselves.



Weiner - Play Your Hand

Nice instrumental texture. Vocal comes in thinly, landing on ends of phrases nicely but then doesn't quite stretch over things tightly—sort of wobbling around things. The warm feeling of the orchestration reminds me of something you'd hear in a D&D kind of setting … or a movie about adventuring. I do like the transition into the sweeping synth violin/ola lines from the choruses. NICE end with the snare bit. Percussion can get a little overbearing. Hook got a bit samesy after a while and I sort of wanted some more syncopation or movement in the vocal. The words fit the message but the atmosphere of the song and the feel of it all outlasted the whole message thing.



Sober - Things You Can’t Unsay

The first line and tone to the lyrics really hits and it's an exceptionally satisfying chorus hook! I do feel occasionally, too many words are slipped into places where fewer might soar better, or other word emphasis choices could be more expedient here and there. This is nit-picky as it's not messy in the least. And the vocals occasionally sound a bit thin-maybe-tinny, and things generally get a little bit rubber-bandish sometimes as well in the way bluegrass can sometimes when it is in want of washtub presence or prevalent standup. It's hard to say this because it is still beautifully arranged and full in the right places. So as long as there is a fatness of sound here and there, maybe an occasional abrasive and raspy quality is just the percussive thing one would want. It's just a matter of taste that I might prefer a different sonic surrounding addicted to Reverby, Excessive gong-like sounds. No matter—But I love (always) your general personality and writing tone and tasty endings as well. And the message is direct and clever and skillfully delivered, so I've yammered on enough it seems. Bravo.



Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line

Mission accomplished with this little gem! You did go into the red sometimes, so … maybe tighten up the production just a twisk? That bass line is so thick and chucka-chunkah-chucky tho, really satisfies! You could develop another layer on another verse if you did ever want to make it longer. Beat boarded on getting too busy at times. Maybe add some absolute silences. Some sudden backbeats rather than relying on high-speed, high-frequency percussion. Use your newfound ethic to create drama. Maybe round out the note at the end instead of lobbing it off a soft mini-cliff. The song is really efficient tho. Love the bass, vocal melody, breezy and imaginative one-note piano solo and toothpaste commercial chords into a sudden adorable soda pop ending with a cute little g'bye touch. This song is a bit of a snack!



Stacking Theory - Make it Great

There are a lot of different things happening in this song. It's pretty cozy and squishy. It is definitely a deeply breathy party. Lyrics very clever. Vibe very groovy. Sentiment very much about recalibration—like an anthemic vibe, and I don't recall the last time I heard a pride march in a psychedelic disco idiom. I feel like there might have been a more protracted fade out and it was a bit abrupt cut off at the end. Your vocal has a whole lot of personality tho and is certainly out there naked at the beach with the rest of your song and getting some sun!



Hot Pink Halo - Op shop

Your bio was informative. And I was just in Melbourne with family! (an aside) I really liked that fill at the beginning but the shaker stopped so abruptly! Sometimes your sounds start and stop a bit abruptly. And entrances of events seem more like musical announcements than smooth transitions. This may or may not be a feature, not a bug. Not so with your vocals--the way you handle subtle harmonies is oceanic and mixes well in time and space. Your voice does this - wavery thing around arrival points—and gives a warm rain-in-sunlight feeling. The song does flow a bit like the words were written before the melody in places, with emphasis and rhythm hitting in curious ways. I love the pause before 'opportunity cost'; the pacing of the chorus is presented well. It's so catchy and well-constructed. I love a hook that has a phrase like this and uses timing for emphasis. And I love the strings bowing us out the door.



Jeff Walker - Try Again

This country-flavored song hits a sweet spot in the second verse. The first line of the chorus works really well, but I think the chorus is a bit lengthy and obscures the hook. It loses its impact a bit that way, but the repeated line at the end is nice. The word choices are pleasing to the ear, and the balance and instrument choices blend nicely with your voice. It all sounds rich and clean. The bridge feels a little phoned in compared to the heightened tone of the rest of it, and it seems like the song is almost relieved to get back to a nice meaty texture and get on with it. Might do better with a solo passage. Or with ditching the accordion sound for the rest (or toning it down) and then swelling it up for the bridge when you hit the minor and surging up more, suspended the cymbal maybe? Bridges are tricky things--I rarely write them unless they write me first. Fully unsolicited thoughts at a very late hour writing this, so … grain of salt. This was a pretty song, and some of the swells reminded me of listening to records with my grandmother in San Antonio.



The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos

This was a massive earworm. Catchy is king. Love this wormy bass synth. The way it escalates into the next verses. V1 lyrics: "Easy to make something ugly and meaningless/ugly and meaningless." All the words in this chorus fit the music just right. Sometimes the sounds get harsh, to the point of possible occasional distortion. I like the 'loud and sweet' description though. I wanted hand claps on the backbeats of the chorus rather than on those 16th notes. This could be a hit if you're not careful—at least in my ears. It will not be a hit because the performance and production need improvement, but awesomeness lightening doesn't happen often, and this just did. It needs some mixing improvement—some things are too loud and out of balance. And I really want some kind of treatment on your vocal to sit it differently against the synths (not Chorus, something else—maybe a delay of some kind, or a different EQ for it?). No complaints song-wise—again, you're being rewarded for EARWORMAGE. Ooo-ooo-ooo-oo!

PS. Is this from the point of view of a cat, or a really bored co-worker/friend?



Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife

I appreciate a personal story and the slink toward a rainy vibe, but vocals and the electronic music arrangement seem to clash a bit stylistically, causing confusion. The music comes in and puts you into a sort of mid-late 80s feeling ... but with a vocal that is so distinctive—it sounds partially country and partially musical theater—w/strong vibrato delivery. It sounds like story or singer would be at home in a piano ballad or something abstract rather than paired with such exacting electronica. But I thought the performance really earnest with well-showcased moments. I liked the day/night interplay in the chorus.



Profestriga - Useless Sapphic



Everything into "no…you…" vibes and all the hits on beats are good. You do a nice job of explaining your concept but it took me reading the song bio and exploring the back history and my eyebrows quirked at the title until I found it enlightening because I Did Not Know any of That. And an interesting story suffered a bit under a lot of sonic clutter—as a song. So I like to think of this as quite successful conceptually as a story told sonically—and if does need to be presented as a more song-like song, it could be tightened up, produced and smoothed more. As is, this was a good sonic walk-thru of virtual history and informative of culture. I liked the speaking samples, I liked the simulation of a relationship unfolding, but the song itself could have played out tighter and a bit less clumsy as events being lined up both structurally and sonically.



Mandrake - Supernova

Immediately I like how smooth the synth work was. So original and spiffy--ALL of the programming is stellar and the music is blowing me away ... to the point of ear fatigue. This is incredibly entertaining and musical. And a lot.

But I want more from your vocal. It just doesn't go. There are too many words. There need to be 10% of these words. At most.

But ooooo the programming. Soooo good. Keep the part about wanting to ‘stare at you for hours’ and not wanting to run out of time. Maybe conceptually about the disappearance and impermanence. The sounds are so spacey—you don't need to make the words so plodding, they can be more conceptual and abstract. And then they can have whatever effect or presentation you want—how you deliver them doesn't really matter I don't suppose.



The Practitioners - Heaven

This chorus is agreeably bright and airy, with those light vocal sounds ... a good-feelings rhetorical question as well as a nice change—a subtle contrast of movement. It evokes a carnival with those loops/samples you chose. As far as the verses, sometimes the flow gets jerky, but then you do a refreshing thing and save it with a stop or a breath. I thought I'd almost like a more present kick drum all the way thru with this and a smacking backbeat. That would power this through, and then when you hit stops, it would create a lot more movement, which I think this needs. Maybe some more melodic lines too, like a marimba sound or a Rhodes or something.



The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance

The drums here are quite loud. I think of this sort of thing as Headache Snare. The tone of the high hat/cymbals is tough to take. The guitar solo--intriguing but also gets grating. You're doing cool things with rhythm and accents between guitar vs. drums, and the chorus is so nicely hooky. I like lots the chord change and the gusto. I feel like this is a lot of the pot whining to the kettle about sound; I wish the vox were mixed more cleanly—rather than the fierce battery I'm getting, but the message gets lost, so maybe a smoother approach to the lyric content would sell vision better. Your ensemble sounds like good energy together, and this song is compelling with a good premise. The writing really is clever! No shame in saying I had to look words up.



Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo

Oh wow ... your commercials with the "cyber truck!" And the woo-woos! This was highly amusing with fantastic delivery and great playing and layering. The tempo change was awesome, and the oddly rap-like patter fit a roundly robust arrangement. Love the low meat in your vocal and all the harmonies. Really playing to your strengths and this is super charming and funny! Lyric writing is really clever as well. I don't have a lot of critique here. In my opinion you certainly understood the assignment and the venue, and you are just really getting the job done here.



Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way

This is a solid structure presented proficiently. Performed beautifully and loved that evocative line 'Money covered the trees….' It's a strong start to your verse and a catchy hook out of your chorus. Your voice is really distinctive and sits nicely there against that nice big sounding guitar. If you wanted to develop this, maybe thickening it up instrumentally and smoothing down some rough edges on the recording process or with some effects would make it sparkle. I wanted harmony or one-layer vocal the whole tune rather than singing on any of the unison parts (that bit suffered by comparison to the other, fuller segments). Indeed, when you get to the 3-part harmony it's just lovely.



Siebass - Just Go Away

Hey! I was promised a solo in those lyrics! Lol … This was hilarious tho! It's so exuberant and roguish. Really fist bumpy! The melody itself is really jump-skippy and not at all same-same, so it's fun and energetic. It takes exuberance to sing while still coming off casual. Still, the recording is a little gratey on the ears … sloppy a bit, but this whole performance is chock full of mirth and I would have a lot of fun drinking to this at a bar. And OMG, I totally agree about those pusher Girl Scouts and trying to get you back on the smack. I talk about this problem ALL The TIME. It's a track with some gall and personality.



The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?

I found this story a sensually fraught sweep and got invested in it. "These moments indelibly etched and are fixed for all time / in my mind" is a great line. A melody that risked getting same-ish. But repeated listens to really think on it tick-tock-clocks it into a nice narrative and helps sonically showcase a passage of time. It's a good sound for reflecting on a time of Complicated and Feelings. This is universal. It's kind of swishy, making you think of things like windshield wipers, and I love a song that gets me in road trip over-think mode. I have BEEN HERE (not here, but not NOT here...) So this was very romantic and descriptive—maybe at times a bit wordy or even getting stumbly and awkward in need of some variation in the vocal cadence or the melodic line (or not...). Vocal tone is whispery and intimate—inviting, secretive. It's a mood for sure.



Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity

Very entertaining mix and song for a Not At All Entertaining subject! But I'm music-directing political sketch show right now, so this bowls right up the alley for me! Love the arrangement when the brass comes in; very funereal-yet-festive. The lyrics' cadence started to fit better after a bumpy and knock-kneed start and went by quickly when helped by the orchestration and the key-changes into choruses. The parts that grabbed the hook swelled up nicely, but I found myself wanting more to reinforce the catchiness of it—like a background counter-rhythm (maybe in BUvox) on that chorus or a fast shaker percussion or a tap-break or something. On a personal note, I do so appreciate a song mentioning gerrymandering. I didn't dig the plagal cadence, but within the context of a musical number on a stage in a whole production—it could work nicely?



Roddy - Piano opportunity

I loved the idea of this, before even hitting play. But this is not a song I think I'd listen to for pleasure, even though I appreciate the schtick. I don't know if you meant the piano playing itself to come off hokey — there were some hammed-up licks pointedly over-played, played, then played again and this did make me chortle. It stilted like a YouTube robot pounding out jazzy/honky tonk/bluesy/cheese ball licks to a desperate audience. The sound of your piano was really cool, but there was hiss in my phones, and your voice got into a kind of whiny clash at times w/ piano. But you did get your voice to sound really oily, and I appreciate that. I wish it had been mastered a little bit more sweetly together—to sound all the more silky.



Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!

I love this vamp and the directness. Very mosh. Delivery of 'hey now you know you're really winnin' is cool and surf—which is great because there's that low tom bringing in a bridge bit that is very ethereal and weird but is performed well, particularly those falsetto notes as the bits most tightly nailed town. Got that Wall Street Bets vibe, a properly evocative performance. More—your lyrics are absolutely hitting their marks against the melody, so it's well-placed songwriting with very little space or words wasted. Tidy. This sounds stylistically "you" as well … but also sounds like a track made to be evocative of a feeling/mood/situation—so distinct from your other songs. So you've minted (lolz) yourself as versatile here again. Also—THAT is an incredible way to hang an end note.



Yeslessness - My Secret

This is different. I don't know why I love this track so much but I do. I love the demented/o repetitions and the little skootchy wormsy accompaniment in the chorus that sounds like an uncomfy wiggle. Your voice is so creepy in this. Whatever effect you choose to place on it--it's one of those so wrong it's right choices. The chorus actually reminds me of all the things I love about Boffo Yux Dudes. You're making great character choices and they match their instruments—so it all locks in and makes a nifty presentation. It makes me want to go shut my windows. This is SO environmental. Both ridiculous and superb. Comedy Gold right here: "Don't say that… Don't say thaaaaaat…." Adorably weird!



James Young - What Can I Do?

Love the lines "blinded by the truth / ..you lie because I need you to" — I do prefer a more effortless flow to a more percussive or quick vocal cadence unless the subject/tone warrants it--and you fit in more words where a tighter form of the thought and word choice itself would serve better within each bar. As far as your excellent singing goes, your phrase rounding off at the ends of lines does not quite stick its landing, and I only notice because your phrase shapes are on target. So pitch at the end of verse lines might be just a tone color thing rather than a tuning problem. That was a tasteful guitar solo almost all the way up to the end, but I think I wanted to hear a clearer, more soaring or sustained passage to exit that section. I enjoyed the production, though--entirely. Great on the shouted hook at the end of the chorus and also a good idea of the "what can I do?" statement, but I lose that hook going back into the song and get a bit lost again.



thanks, brain - Looking Down

This is a solid in-song representation of how it is to get sucked into phone land. The drone-zy chord progression and squinty melody floating above (as a sound package--the feel of it) stages out like a super late Sunday breakfast scrolling ignoring one another and our surroundings after a long week. I do like the long arcing phrases though and that you’re not shoving lyrics into tight spaces at full whim. It gets sucked into the echo chamber with things that have happened before for me and I wish sometimes the content were more up at the front and a bit more distinctive. I keep having to go back through to remember 'which one was this..?' So that means it needs something. It sounds nice though—altho something about the high-hat/snare combo is bugging me. I wish it'd been washed with the same hazy sort of treatment everything else got and that things had been a bit boomier—and fade out could have been handled less jarringly, perhaps. So whatever it needs--it's not something abrupt.



JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin’

This. Is. Quite. A Thing.

I am, however, disturbingly impressed. This is a story presented in a Hell of creativity that will likely worm its way into my dreams. It's a haunting relatable coulda shoulda nagging at your psyche and a well-done soundtrack written before the movie. Go get yourself striped pants and a top hat. I'm into the theatrics of the experience, and maybe I was just up late every time I heard it, but this was heinous sonic ringmaster at a zappatastic synth-crunch extravaganza. Just my weird brain on the fakeout—something about your phrasing initially reminded me of Rod Stewart, then suddenly, the tone completely changes and we are off on a mad dash to White Lotus. I was horribly confused but loved it with that Mr. Bungle/Kim Dracula part of myself. This is a whole Situation you've conjured here. Spellbinding!



Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft)

I REALLY love the guitar solo and the ending—the hanging dissonance there and there’s other lovely jazz-oriented chords slipped in here and there as well. There are a lot of little subtle complexities, little moments that take special planning and care. I wish I HAD MORE TIME on this and other songs as well to savor things like “weakness well always wondering what would be…” because I know I’m just seeing them all fly by—not just others here but probably with other folks I’m going to be missing. I do think the chorus is a skitch long and doesn’t feel like a strong chorus that reads like a chorus ought to read—it feels more Verse-like and only parts of the chorus and “chorus-y” if that makes sense … though it does end on a nice meaty hook—instead, what actually sticks with me about the song motive-wise is that bluesy vocal riff you hit at the end of verses “I resigned today…” Anyway—lots to hear here!



chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die

A solid enough song that could grow up more to be even cooler. It needs an uptick in production as you know—and good for you for powering thru with dental woes. Keep working on it because there's something groovy here. Surf guitar and the weird progression. A bit of vocal chorus on the chorus would do you a lot of good, maybe a good reverb with a more grandiose pre-delay. Love any song where a Faustian, serpent-tongued situation "proffer a goblet." Could have done without the fast talking portion but the more intense bit with drums was nice. Maybe do something else with it—like some stacked vocals or a instrumental passage … something. Does progress a bit slowly



Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth

I honestly thought that the sloth was a sleepy animal. I guess not, with this aggressive offbeat-accented number. I think it is pretty cute while also rocking quite a bit! Very urgent! Grindy tri-tones couple places and deliberate dissonances! Lots of almost cartoonish, over-the-top energy. Really wanted more grit and mass to the vocals—both don't match the heavy instrumentals. The syncopation of your hook hits just right. It's boggy sometimes, but the rough edges don't come off goofy during crunchy bits, and it sounds like an aesthetic. But you chose to make a party out of maybe sloppy-sounding moments and hit the tasty bits quite well.



The Alleviators

I love this sumptuous and atmospheric presentation of lyrics. I can project my own scenario onto it; and putting yourself in that place is so easy! Also, it's just a charming duet to listen to. The singing is super cushy and flows right through the whole song—and the (nicely familiar ) guitar is accessible and soothing, a beautiful and clam-proof canvas to hang a musical narrative or vision upon. And it does read/transmit like a poem. The rhythm flows easily, and all the words fit nicely into all the lines. Maybe at times, some lines get busy and too talky—so it's such a nice breath when there's a soaring note or some space or a bit of breath. So there are some rough edges in the performance, but this is all part of the excitement of Spintunes. ZING! What a great line "Now the hesitation leads to ruin 'Near misses leaving deeper wounds."



Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air

Many people labor over a hot DAW for days and nights, hacking at tiny details in this and other adjacent contests. Here, you have presented a casually delivered 'What This Ole' Thing?' bit like you could quick-improvise in your spare layovers all the time and can eat this $*%! for breakfast ... but you are obviously very skilled. Your crowd work is an endearing treat. You have a distinctive type. This is also a skill--though it's not precisely the same songwriting skill others have shown here. It's a troubadour skill—definitely a vibe. Before I got involved in improv theater myself, I submitted songs and feared and avoided "tropes" (like roving singer-songwriter with feel-good-friendly-peaceful message) like the plague. But now I get it. Tropes make the world go round. The familiar is the human story. We need more human story. Perhaps cynicism is poisonous at times.



"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Knockin’ on wood

This is a nicely full recording that sounds vibrant and lively. Although … there's something thuddy on random off-beats I don't like. Think it's excessive kick drum? Possibly it's too high in the mix. There. Now that THAT is out of the way—just letting you know this is a real earworm. Like a TV commercial-level earworm. LOVE the chorus. And a fun and uplifting performance. Your singing is solid as well—just as remembered. And no words wasted, everything in its place and things repeated in the chorus correctly and effectively for emphasis. Everything about it sounds earnest and fun even as rough and ready as it goes. I don't like the guitar still ringing through the drop-out so much. For me, I'd rather just the clapping. One woman's opinion. Great tune and memorable!



Jealous Brother - Missed Calls

Deliciously jangly and percussive! Also--that's a honey of a tambourine roll and a sick blues tone. I don't even mind the gratuitous lick-dropping (usually I get peevish about excessive guitar-thwacking onto a track) … because the quality is so good, it's all fine. Plus, your vocal harmonies are tight, and the presentation really comes off. The words are a bit artistic for dirty blues, but that just gives it a breezy, eclectic vibe—a band you won't hear too many carbon copies of. Very tasteful—and the right lines get hooked into again. I would call this a sing-song feel. There's a lot in the midHZ after a while there in my ears, but your solo feels so good managed so well it's like TigerEarBalm after all this audio. Oooo! It faded out too soon—let it ring!!!



Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity

These verses are tuneful and songsy—and meander around a real showcase for the vocal. I found it a bit tedious and not catchy to hang onto words and content in all the melodic movement, but the melody is terribly interesting at all times. Complexity has pluses and minuses. Your chorus is crisp and catchy, though. The song is a story of high points and percussive accents--it starts out jangly and cool right out of the gate. I felt whirlwinded a bit, but the arrangement is spot on, the harmonies are crystal clear, and the mix is precise. Also, your vocal is refreshing and easy on the ear, like the 1970s which I still remember fondly. Fun fact: you could sample “Wake up!” if you or a fan/loved one/fellow spintuna/moi wanted a pleasant and low-key alarm for a mid-afternoon nap wakeup ringtone! Bamp-bump! (GT!) Good song for a breathless sort of gal.



Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry

Interesting starting—bits of drama and time shifting. Things are getting lost in a heavy texture and sometimes a bit warbly. Events happening at the same time clash too heavily against one another (a matter of clutter on the same EQ spectrum across tracks)—and this is a problem easy to fall victim to. (i.e., that drone vs. the rest of it) I do appreciate a chorus achieved a bit sloppily but with style by laying those two tracks aside atop another. You did some fun things with two different vocals so I like the idea. I like the staging and the point of the different parts. I liked the story. You start to lose momentum with the length and say things more than once where being more concise in tempo or wording would have done (again—easy to fall victim to this in songwriting). But again—it might have been an interesting journey that you made them different, that you made them progress—and I almost wanted more layers of vocal more tightly woven onto the Her part; or more variation to contrast it to the other. The concept is endearing and a lot to think about for those in relationships. And wow the end!



Ominous Ride - The Deal

Whoa ... you were right about your small-low-then-build! It's a little disconcerting, but I think you stage it proficiently. Vocal tone gets effective when you get to parts that have power behind it. Actually, I think that you're handling the dynamic range pretty nicely. The lick and that one crying high note sorta get repetitive, so it could happen half as many times and still be motific. That's stylish placement of a guitar solo with great tone! And the faster-paced lyrics do actually make repeat devices sound slick in context. On repeated listens, this sounds less and less dinky than it honestly did the first time I heard it—maybe because I was expecting that nice drop into a more robust center.



Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx

This was fun. It felt like you field recorded a bit, maybe the dripping coming from somewhere sampled as those sounded familiarly legit from having to sound design caves a bit (got the best drip sound from a bending piece of metal, oddly). Your sonic space is pretty sharp sounding and intense (in headphones at least—which I experienced this last time whilst babysitting laaaaaaate at night). The arpeggiator you have going kind of upsets my brains a bit against the jump up to the fifth you take on the last line—not sure why. Love the imagery though. It's really thin and sparse and do so enjoy all the featured friends. "Acid tongue and sharpened line" cool line to sing OMG that laugh is classic! Talk about something great for sound design!



Night Sky - Janus Lies

This is just deeply and richly soulful. So much so that I get a bit resentful about that relentless high-hat in the middle of the tune. Your vocal is a bit rough—It's the only thing that doesn't quite match the caliber of the rest of it, but there are things you can do about that without changing your singing too much/at all since you were pretty solid on delivery/performance. That chorus is so easy-going and reliable. The rest of the groove should just fold neatly around it. If you workshop no need to adjust lines that flow like "one more dream (I'll) defer / till I got the time to love her / (don't) flowers bloom endlessly / oh no whoa oh no …" I had to keep looking at the lyric sheet though to connect things together as this is getting a bit lost in the shuffle of other things although might have stuck harder in another round. Wow! Those horns sound great. Gah, the whole band does! You got the whole damn sandwich.



Ironbark - Privilege

You are obviously deeply wounded, and I'm so sorry. This is hilarious. It's minimal and beautiful and hilarious. OMG, 'chooks at KFC!' I could go on and on about major and minor keys and clever puns, but you know what you did. Every device did its trick and I quickly pushed the lyrics aside when first hearing so every beat would land. And I don't care what people say. If I didn't have the priviledge of spell-check, I'd be ducked.



Temnere - Sands of Time

You have a tremendous, epic voice. 'Twill surely be a pounding, dramatic zombie song from the very beginning and I am more and more amazed as this unfolds into Extra, genre-bending delight. And all the choral/synth pads are great on the arrangement. This would be great in a rock-metal musical. The drums are a lot (but very quick clever fun!), so the crackly midsection is smart and good writing. Extra nod for the use of the phrase "pilfer the tome" and just a million things that make me dream of Jordan Rudess' rotating keyboard. These solos interweave with high/low vocals that are stacked across your interweaving vibrato-highs light the Colossus of Rhodes.



Menage a Tune - Push It

I would also like to hear this not done a cappella because I don't think it's meant to be a cappella. I couldn't really visualize it and the scatting didn't come off for me at the beginning so much—but sorry that you couldn't get music together, and congrats on Ted's new child and on all your film work. Your vocals are sounding really smooth tho—Singing was really good, and the concept chilling. Sure do something with this later…I thought that maybe the tune was getting a little bit same-sy, but it might not have come off that way with an instrument/al along to it. I do like how some of the repetition is rather lulling and reminds you of sitting in a casino pulling lever after lever mindlessly. Kind of evocative



Jerkatorium - Opportunity

This is not a hook-filled or hit-like tune. It feels like an incredibly serious, intimate (well-formed) letter with a nicely constructed jam behind it in which skilled musicians were present. I don't get a feeling of tightness from your chorus—it seems like when a band filled with players gets together so they can riff well and come across as more verse-like. Like two songs smooshed together--gratuitous riffing over a great beginning form sketch with ballad lyrics as they present as a different song. I pulled the words up and got strong feelings about it, and I don't like criticizing it because it felt a bit like a passion piece. But the song starts, and I musically thought, "oh. That's jolly.." (head tilt). . . The "doom, doom, doom and despair" line delivery did grow on me--it is so powerful. I could use more present backup vocals. And not into using chorus on LV the whole way thru. Grain of salt thoughts, though. If I had to describe it as-is: it would be Frenetic but Well Played due to Subject + Setting.



Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master

I could not figure this out for a while and wondered if a bunch of instruments had been thrown into a blender and then people started to sing a heroic album. And then you started to REALLY sing because you got real, real serious. The "HUH!" ending to this is hilarious. It's so retro-80s childhood and then it starts swinging 60s like Mamas and Papas style harmony or something. Strange (rThings) effect! It's a high drama operatic-fake out, in a pseudo-modal kinda-key that pretends that it doesn't exist.



Mandibles - Time Machine

The tempo and mood flow feels nice in the entirety of this. Vocal delivery connected me to the subject matter, but sometimes it gets a bit clashy in the same range as the guitar strum and feels a bit tweety rather than ethereal. A floaty and spacey reverb to bring the ensemble into a like-minded space might be nice on this, or some other emphasized part of the guitar's EQ range that better compliments the heights of your vocal. That chorus really soars beautifully into the modulation. This has a very classic rock feel- a good setting for a characteristically mystical sort of sound, and I want it to have less harsh and more richness to it in general.



Weiner - Seven Card Stud [SHADOW]

This sounded like an exclamation point in a loud suit who decided they would like to visit a casino.



Hutch - Opportunity Knocks [SHADOW]

If I heard this at a coffee shop I would clap for it, a serviceable tune. Thanks for the song.

[BoffoYux]

Rankings from Ian Moore:

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Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day
I like the characterization and cleverness of the lyrics; you get a great “old-timey” sound out of your fingerstyle!

Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock
I like the danceability and lyrics best - seems like you have a knack for the clever turn of phrase, but that bridge! Just a killer song, keep it up!

Daniel Sitler - Sunshine
This is my jam, the cello torch song! Your vision and approach remind me of Bright Eyes. Your production sounds magically airy and trippy and you wear your heart on your sleeve and have a great turn of phrase in that hook!

The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back
This has such a mesmerizing feel and space, the lyrics are cool and evocative. I really loved the interplay between the ukulele and the keys.

Balance Lost - A Temporary Window
I could hear this song on the radio, it’s got it all, retro vibe sorta Love and Rockets or Jesus and Mary Chain, but still has a cool, contemporary vibe - that synth is perfect!

Single Pint of Failure - Don’t Believe in Hope
What a message and way to convey it! I hear a little Social D, maybe some Chumbawumba…;-)

Weiner - Play Your Hand
This is original and dark, I have always been drawn to the imagist, the recondite; the easily grasped is the easily dismissed.

Sober - Things You Can’t Unsay
Dang, that’s some pickin’ there, and like a Bodeans kinda vibe, Folkgrass is hot, you gotta take this show on the road, that mando player is hired!

Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line
I love the astro-jazz feel, it really matches the mood of the song

Stacking Theory - Make it Great
Your message is so amazing, what a disciplined, incisive track - the beats are spacey and timeless, it gets the body moving and has a great narrative arc, bravo!

Hot Pink Halo - Op shop
OMG, ear worm alert! I love the story and all things Aussie, keep op op shopping!

Jeff Walker - Try Again
That is some lush accordion and blends nicely into a fine patin;, your voice is big and clear, it gets the message across!

The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos
Oh lord, what the hey!? That is cool and weird and like an OMD song with a modernly millennial pouty vibe; keep it up, ya Evil Genius!

Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife
I love the overlaying vocals and trippy synthesizer licks; I hear some Allison Moyet from Yazoo, what pipes!

Profestriga - Useless Sapphic
I love the way your voices go back and forth in character, it’s visual and visceral at once - the cinematic beats give it an atmosphere that breathes.

Mandrake - Supernova
Love the techno feel, it’s right on for a song about an exploding star! Whoa, that ending is spiritual!!!

The Practitioners - Heaven
What a groove! I loved the hook and bounce; that intro synth loop that rolls throughout is trippy AF, it gives the impression the song can go anywhere….

The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance
You guys make me so happy, you’re like a Alejandro Escovedo/Mekons level of angsty pop rawk, don’t buy into the consumerist crap, skip the 9To5 and start a punk band! There’s something muted in the production, the instruments sound a little far away.

Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo
Oh hell yeah! The world needs this, and the power of y’alls delivery is mighty!

Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way
I get a little Nanci Griffith, so much good color in that voice; I liked how the progression of self is revealed.

Siebass - Just Go Away
Oh yeah, shout choruses and Gibsons thru tube amps, keep that angst a-flowin’!

The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?
Has a 80’s feel to my ear, the pads and his baritone, one of my favorites overall, just a great pop song without being overdone - it’s simple and confident.

Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity
Searing, as so much of your work is - it has this frenetic feel with like a Sondheim kind of cityscape; it’s very effective and energized by the lyric.

Roddy - Piano opportunity
Heck yeah, I’m headed to this lounge!

Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!
I love the attitude! I hear some Foo, I hope that’s okay,

Yeslessness - My Secret
I’m jealous of your creative originality and trippy harmonies and production. It’s a danceable, yet creepy approach and gets it done!

James Young - What Can I Do?
Nice delivery, slow simmer and some great lines in there, lied because I need you to is pretty hard to accept when you’re in that state of denial.
Some gorgeous shreddin’ in there too, got to call out that great acoustic sound too!

thanks, brain - Looking Down
This is a lo-fi groover for sure - confident and messy, kind of Pavement-ey, lots of good stuff here, the doubled vocals reminded me of some parts of Broken Social Scene, gives the song more dimensions, loved the wall of guitar at the end, and the dah dah dahs!

JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin’
Oh man, this is psychedelic, like Depeche Mode with Bowie!

Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft)
Could be a B Side off Standing On A Beach, I love the chorus, did not see that slide coming!

chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die
I heard a little Screamin’ Jay and Hozier; so deep and the delivery is natural and that singer is going places.

Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth
OH man, your bass player is hired! Shout out loud to this one Is It Worth The Energy!!! I hear some Henry, a little Sabbath in those riffs, it’s a great take on pop punk slingin’ a cool message.

The Alleviators
Simple poetic lyrics and poignant, yearning singing, not too mushy and lots of good rock guitar and rhythm. The subtle interplay and shadings of the vocals are just great, it gives a dynamic across the performance that builds and stays fresh.

Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air
What the heck, a basement tapes from the airport basement, thank you for the great message, what a fine song and voice!

"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Knockin’ on wood
I love those doubled vocals, it gives a cool vibe and undercurrent of creepiness to contrast the chorus and a unique sound.

Jealous Brother - Missed Calls
We need more rootsy guitars and jammin’ choruses in 2023, I hear some Trey, a little Mother Hips, like a California sunset.

Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity
I hear some Ben Folds, a little JT, wow, tho, that chorus!

Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry
Wow, I hear some Bowie and love the trippy contrapuntal lines and orchestral gloss.

Ominous Ride - The Deal
Oh yeeeeesss, I love the crossroads, the selling of the soul for rock and roll!

Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx
Interstellar rock opera meets synth pop juiciness - I want to know how it ends!

Night Sky - Janus Lies
Wow, but those horns! I hear some Dr. John, a little Van Morrison in there, cool stuff!

Ironbark - Privilege
‘Mr. Opportunity I missed my chance’ that is so fine! I love the understated groovieness of this track!

Temnere - Sands of Time
OMG, you are a gift to the solar system! I hear some The Darkness and a huge to Tenacious D, this was a standout as the only interstellar rock opera in the whole batch of songs.

Menage a Tune - Push It
What a voice! This is a great take and I hope you get your collaborator on as your hoping!

Jerkatorium - Opportunity
All right! Love those single coils, so much soul in your jangley tone! I’m bopping my head thru the whole thing!

Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master
I love the lines interplaying on the verses and then layin’ it down on the chorus, wild band you got there, when you let the bass player off their leash, it’s funky AF! Nothing like a ding dang snowball fight!

Mandibles - Time Machine
Wild story, speculative fiction in that beautiful, lush harmony; I love the song!

Weiner - Seven Card Stud [SHADOW]
You’re a funky soulful weirdo for sure! Some analogue beepity boopity makes me happy!

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - Lichen Throat
Rankings from Lichen Throat:

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Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day

The lyrics are fun and decently clever. The simple instrumentation is fine but might fit better in a shorter song, I'm tapping my fingers to the rhythm, so you’ve got some rhythm. I think the song could use more internal variation. I like the Irish feel and the combination of picked and strummed notes.



Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock

The execution is pretty good, but I'm not keen on the overall aesthetic. The production isn't too bad but feels a little flat. Perhaps the song needs another element to provoke more interest. I like the verses more than the chorus. I don’t think you need the effect on your vocal.



Daniel Sitler - Sunshine

The level of musicianship is not the highest (hmmm…or is it better than I thought at first?), but the song is good enough to overcome that. I really like how you have high intensity without harshness. Melodies are good throughout, and the song feels earnest. Good songwriting. I like the little variations in vocals and instrumentation. Maybe a little too long and repetitive.



The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back

This song has the best production of anyone here, and it’s not all that close. The performances are technically excellent, but I did not find the song to be very interesting. That said, this moved up quite a few spots from my initial to final ranking, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re doing good things that I’m not sophisticated enough to fully appreciate. That’s a nice keyboard melody in the instrumental parts. As I listened, it was hard not to count 1-2-3 in my head throughout. The short moments of silence are a nice touch, and I liked the solo at the end.



Balance Lost - A Temporary Window

This is very good overall. There nice internal variation and excellent transitions from one section to another. This is definitely in the top echelon. Your vocal style fits well with the song's aesthetic. The keyboard solo in the bridge (and its brief reprise at the end) feels out of place, but everything else is just right.



Single Pint of Failure - Don’t Believe in Hope

This is very reminiscent of Guided by Voices, with a very appealing low-fi sound. But turn down your mix a little; this seemed like the loudest song in the round. There are good melodies, and the guitar line establishes an unstoppable rhythm. There might—and I mean might—be too many "got to work”s. This is a simple but excellent composition; everything works well together.



Weiner - Play Your Hand

I like the strings. However, the performances feel too loose, and I think the song needs more variation between verse and chorus. Those super low strings are great. To me, the vocal melodies lack appeal, and the song feels very monolithic.



Sober - Things You Can’t Unsay

This is great banjo playing, obviously. The lyrics fit perfectly with the overall sound. It seems like you're singing higher than you should be (or maybe the vocal recording sounds thin). You have a great vocal flow. This song has all the elements that it should, and it simply sounds good.



Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line

I felt like this was too short to allow me to get into it, and there was so much internal variation that it lacked cohesion. I like your production in general. Nice piano playing and smooth vocal.



Stacking Theory - Make it Great

I like this more than I thought I would at first. You can lay off the vocal effects—your voice sounds good naturally. I'd like to hear this with an even more lush and dreamy production. The arrangement and structure are good.



Hot Pink Halo - Op Shop

You have a talent for weird melodies that grow on the listener. I’m not thrilled with the mix: the drums seem too quiet sometimes but not all the time, and the instruments sounds seem unbalanced rather than spatially separated. The songwriting is pretty good, and the composition is structurally sound. You have nice transitions from chorus back to verse.



Jeff Walker - Try Again

I like your vocal timbre, but the delivery seems too self-consciously ornate. The drum machine sound doesn't fit with the tone of the other instruments. You are clearly a skilled musician, but I’m not sure I like your stylistic choices. This was not the most creative lyrical take. The guitar playing is good, and I like the instrument interplay.



The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos

I like the transition from verse to chorus. This is an interesting lyrical take on the challenge. The mix volume seems too variable. I’m not keen on the falsetto in the chorus. I like the synth bass but not necessarily the other instrument sounds. There's a good song under here, but the production does it no favors.



Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife

The lyrics clearly meet the challenge. You’ve got a nice rhythm and excellent vocal timing. The establishment of atmosphere is strong. I'd like to hear more instrument melody rather than just chord progressions. This is pretty good overall. I like that your style is distinct from the other entries.



Profestriga - Useless Sapphic

You have a competent rap delivery. I liked the rap parts better than the non-rap parts. Piano with rap feels novel and was my favorite aspect of the song. I’m not sure I have the right background to fully appreciate this. There’s a good and original-sounding rhythm. Your explanation about the song helped me understand the lyrics better (and was interesting, too).



Mandrake - Supernova

To me, this does not feel cohesive. The lyrics are hard to understand. I like the drum part that starts about halfway through. I think the song takes too long to get up to full steam, but I do like the dreamy part at the end.



The Practitioners - Heaven

You have a very good rap delivery. This is not up my alley but clearly is pretty good. Strong production and good wordplay. I like the little comments in the backing vocals, and the song has nice internal variability. Thumbs up.



The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance

I love the opening guitar part. The song has excellent melodies and chord changes. I'd like the vocal performance to be a little tighter, but that's a minor quibble. You might want to tone down the guitar feedback about 20%. This is great overall. I like the drums even though I don't think they're real.



Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo

As usual, you are not risk-averse in the least. I think this is funny enough to get you through to round 2. This is a good lyrical take with good flow of the vocals. Obviously the vocal delivery is intended to be somewhat annoying, but that loses appeal once the novelty wears off. I appreciate your full commitment to execution of concept. The female voice-over at the end is spot on.



Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way

I like the hints of medieval melodies. I like each individual moment of this, but it is a lot of similar content and needs to have more differentiation internally. Another instrument would be welcome, but I like the guitar playing. Nice voice.



Siebass - Just Go Away

Very solid, good chorus, structurally sound. A less droning tone could be an improvement. "What doesn't kill us makes us weaker" is a good line. This isn’t not my favorite, but it's significantly above average.



The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?

There are very pleasant tones on everything in the song. I love your vocal timbre; however, I get the feeling that you don't like your voice anywhere near as much as it deserves. It’s okay to realize that you sound great. I understand how the subdued, even-toned vocal fits with the lyrical aesthetic, but I'd like an energetic chorus anyway. I like "the only way to capture time is a clock."



Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity

Although I quite like your idea of contrasting the potential implications of different knocks at the door, the lyrics seem to be an elaborate way of saying "hey, these obviously discriminatory practices are bad.” Well, yeah. The music indicates a lighthearted tone, but the song isn't funny enough to justify it, and your point is made too overtly for proper irony. I agree with your sentiments, but I don't think the song works very well. Also, it’s a bit on the long side. However, I am genuinely impressed by the number of lyrics that you fit into a song of almost reasonable length. I like that plucked string instrument, whatever it is.



Roddy - Piano opportunity

I had trouble getting into this one. You're obviously going for a highly stylized vocal delivery, but I don't think the song is all that interesting. You have nice piano playing, especially toward the end.



Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!

There's nothing on the right to balance the guitar on the left until about halfway through. I like the overall sound, but I thought at first that I would like this more than I eventually did. I think I'd prefer a tighter-feeling set of performances on this song. The bridge almost appears to be a separate song. Still, for all that, not too bad.



Yeslessness - My Secret

I never found my way into the rhythm, either on the verse or chorus. Nice use of "force majeure." I really liked the brief a cappella part near the end. I think the song could use stronger melodies throughout.



James Young - What Can I Do?

The sense of intensity, which is my favorite aspect of the song, matches the lyrics well. There’s a high level of musicianship. The song is maybe a bit too long (or maybe not—I’m undecided on that point). I had trouble pinpointing a clear specific opportunity in the lyrics, but the overall sentiment is close enough not to lose points for noncompliance with challenge.



thanks, brain - Looking Down

The intro seems initially uninteresting but the song settles into a decent groove. You have a nice guitar tone and overall soundscape. There’s a hint of Pink Floyd without slavish imitation. This might be a little too short. I like your lyrical take.



JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin’

I like the guitar opening, and the song has an interesting spatial mix. The structure seems weird and sort of feels like it's from a musical: Rocky Horror meets David Lee Roth. To me, this was not particularly pleasant to listen to. The musicianship is competent, and song is consistent in concept.



Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft)

This is a super strong intro. Your mix is very good. The song has a prog rock sensibility but also has good melodies and is very listenable. There’s tight (in a positive sense) musicianship. The song is both cohesive and internally varied and is enjoyable overall. I’m not sure this is the best title to go with these lyrics, but that doesn’t matter much. I like your lyrical take on the challenge. Cool solo. I liked this a lot.



chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die

I hear hints of Angelo Badalamenti. The verses feel slow, but the choruses have a nice subtle intensity. Overall, the song has a strong atmosphere. It feels too long as a standalone song but might fit well in a movie soundtrack. The end section feels out of place. I like your singing on the drawn-out notes in the chorus.



Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth

The production feels different on each vocalis. This rocks hard and has a nice high energy. It’s enjoyable to be awash in all the waves of sound. The composition/arrangements could maybe use more deliberation (or maybe not—I did like this even more on repeated listens). I don't like the fade out, but this good overall. Oh yeah.



The Alleviators

This cries out for lusher production (especially on the vocals). It’s a very good composition, with a delightful combo of male and female vocalists. Basically, this is a great song held back by mediocre production. The drums don't quite seem to match the rest of the aesthetic. I definitely want to hear more from this band. The chorus melody was my favorite of the round. Pleasantly reminiscent of The Submarines (their good songs, anyway).



Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air

This is a nice protest song. The sentiments are perhaps a bit too overt (but maybe that makes sense for a protest song). You have good melodies and good flow to the lyrics. The song is distinctive. I’d really love to hear harmonies on this. I have a positive impression overall. The airport background noise actually enhances the song. It feels like I'm right there with you. If you really did this in the airport, it sounds great; if you faked it, good job. I’m genuinely a little inspired. This doesn't feel as long as it is.



"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Knockin’ on Wood

I like the structure, but it needs to feel more exuberant, perhaps because the mix feels a bit flat. Maybe it should be faster—I’m not sure. This is a pretty good song compositionally. It was hard for me to get a handle for commenting, which is why this paragraph is short. For this type of song, the double tracking should probably be tighter. Not bad, not great.



Jealous Brother - Missed Calls

The instrumental intro promises more complexity than the song delivers. This has good performances and production. It could be an AOR standard in another universe. It doesn't really grab me but is pretty good. The dual vocal section near the end is cool.



Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity

The great mix is immediately apparent. This is not my favorite genre but is quite good nevertheless. The high level of craftsmanship is evident. Nice harmonies. The song feels maybe a bit too comfortable and seems risk-averse. Very accomplished.



Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry

This feels like it never quite gets going. I like the piano bit in the middle. The vocals toward the end are appealing. The song has good elements but they don't seem to fit together right. It did grow on me a bit, however, and moved up several spots from my initial ranking after listening more.



Ominous Ride - The Deal

This is very ominous for sure, with its Halloweenish, atmospheric. The production is competent, which matters in a song of this style. I think it needs stronger melodies in the slower sections. I liked the solo. Overall, I feel like I should have liked this more than I did. You have a good lyrical implementation of the challenge.



Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx

It sounds like you had fun with this, and for us judges, it might be just fun enough to get past the first round, but further advancement will likely require less of a novelty song approach. Your production skill is evident—just write a solid conventional song to go with it next time.



Night Sky - Janus Lies

Nice sax. This has good performances, but to me, song is not particularly compelling. I tried to correct for genre bias against this in my ratings, but there's a chance I didn't do it enough, so if that happened, I'm sorry. I like the lyrics and the execution of the backing vocals in the choruses.



Ironbark - Privilege

This is cute and sweet, and it has a distinctive lyrical approach to the challenge. Good band name. The drum sounds are weird but cool. This is an interesting composition. I’m not sure how many times I'd want to listen to this, but I like it now. Your voice is perfect for this song and style. Good soundscape.



Temnere - Sands of Time

Strong musicianship. It’s nice to hear metal with real melodies (and several—not just one). Nice job on the double tracking. This song delivers everything it promises. It’s not my cup of tea but I'll happily drink it anyway. This sounds better if it’s cranked up, so don’t make your mix so quiet next time. The fade out is too short.



Menage a Tune - Push It

I'm impressed, genuinely, by your bravery in submitting an a cappella song. There’s some wind noise in the mic. It’s very hard to execute a song like this, and I think this falls a little short. You have a clear implementation of the lyrical challenge. The lyrical meter doesn't flow well with all the extra syllables squeezed in (which is often a problem for me, too).



Jerkatorium - Opportunity

I like the phaser guitar (or whatever that is). The song is pretty solid. It feels like early 60s rock: pleasant but lacking an edge. Good production and backing vocals. I know you guys can do better, but this should get you to the next round.



Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master

I followed along with the lyrics exactly as I think you had in mind, beginning with my preconceptions from reading the title. I’m not keen on the keyboard tone. I do, however, like the dual vocal and the increasing intensity. Cool ending.



Mandibles - Time Machine

This has good vocals and a good chorus. The cymbal taps feel plodding, and I think the song could use stronger melodic hooks. You have a good mix and good instrument sounds. The vocal quality carries this a long way. I think it should probably be about a minute shorter.



Weiner - Seven Card Stud [SHADOW]

The song has a nice bass line. You can get away with this level of weirdness in a shadow. The song has an interesting narrative and a few funny lines.



Hutch - Opportunity Knocks [SHADOW]

This begs for a bass or an organ to go along with the guitar. The vocal seems a little out of tune (hey, who am I to complain about that?), but I like the mildly unusual timbre of your voice. I like the little solo, even though it's mixed a little too loud.

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - Gray Porter
Rankings from Gray Porter:

ST20GreyPorter.JPG (56.72 KiB) Viewed 313 times

For me this is a challenge based songwriting contest first and foremost. Good production is goal difference but an ambitious take on the challenge gets more points than just being radio ready. I have a weird esoteric scoring system that favours focusing on the challenge, progressive arrangements, not having 15 choruses at the end and people mailing baked goods to my flat. When reviewing each song I read the song bio (helps to write one) and the lyrics (clean up your lyrics sheets, you know who you are) in silence then listened to the song on repeat till I knew what I wanted to say. This is a great crop of songs, thanks for making my life difficult.


I think a lot more people should do song bios. As an example, there are American/Australian/etc references I simply won't get because I'm British yet are completely reasonable to include.


Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity: A great set of lyrics set to a strong melody with a phenomenal vocal performance gives this song a excellant centre piece. The arrangement and backing are rock solid, the bridge is a beautiful change of pace. Can only suggest a more ambitious take on the challenge, "Miss Opportunity" is a great line though.


Balance Lost - A Temporary Window: The guitars are great, strong rhythm section, the progression between sections is entertaining and the vocals line is a solid centre. Not convinced by the synth solo, perhaps needed a bridge with some lyrics to develop the emotions of the song instead?


Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day: This is a fun yarn, the story plays out exactly as it should with good setups. Could it have been funnier, some more word play? The music is a solid base, nice mandolin(?) playing. Could have used some more instruments to add variety given its running length.


Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth: This is a powerful burst of energy, the pulse, fantastic pulse drive everything forward, magnificent drumming, dual vocals strength the fun melody. This is a thrilling piece for a simple quest, I really think you could nail a more ambitious concept.


Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock: This is fun all round, an upbeat catchy song with a solid hook. The music is lively and entertaining, good rhythm section. It's a simple take on the challenge with decent lyrics, it need something more adventurous or with greater emotional weight to stand out this round.


BucketHat Bobby Matheson - Knockin’ on wood: There is so much hope and positivity in this, it makes me very happy. Good blend of instruments, upbeat vocals, fantastic tune, nice subtle elements in the arrangement. A little long, a chorus too many perhaps but leaves the track with a strong finish.


Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft): I enjoyed the music, its a cool riff and the melody was good but it didn't carry enough impact. It wasn't desperate enough for a song about gambling everything and it wasn't positive enough for a tune about chasing your dream.


chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die: Super atmospheric, great contrasts between sections, strong progression throughout. Cool concept, well told story. The outro is a great change of pace but the spoken word performance is too rushed and bland. That tremolo guitar is delicious.


Daniel Sitler - Sunshine: This a beautiful work of an art. The fantastically tender vocal performance drives the song forward, the backing vocals strengthen when required. Love the layers of strings in particular the pizzicato, love how the songs swells and dies away.


Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master: This is colossally entertaining, a fantastic execution of the challenge. The severity of the lyrics in the verse contracts perfectly with silly fun of the chorus. "Cold War"? Chef's kiss. The lead synth is a bit ugly and the production could be a bit better.


Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!: Great set of lyrics, some good turns of phrase for an interestingly ugly concept. Strong lo-fi guitars with a muscular riff to contrast with the clearer vocals delivering a good melody. The bridge is a little long but adds variety, the drums need more power.


Hot Pink Halo - Op shop: This is a great take on the challenge and well executed. I love the blend of timbres throughout, the vocals delivered a catchy tune well and I really liked the addition of the strings towards the end. Production was a little murky, could've used a little more development in the rhythm section.


Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife: The threats of the lyrics are met well by the driving edge on the music. I liked the story and there was some nice vocal layering. It's tricky, the song doesn't really do anything wrong, it's just overall a bit plain compared to other songs in the round. I wanted more from synths.


Ironbark - Privilege: The lyrics start off with story and lean towards comedy but the tone of the song throughout is pretty sad. Like the backing vocals a lot, the melody has been a big earworm for me this week.. It lacks enough depth in accompaniment. I think if Karen had come into KFC in the second half and asked the outro question the song would be more effective.


James Young - What Can I Do?: Really like the dramatic shifts between sections, gives the song some strong emotion. The lead guitar part in particular is powerful. The song bio explains the lyrics, it is an interesting idea for the challenge but the lyrics don't make the difference in character between the verse and chorus clear.


Jealous Brother - Missed Calls: Musically this is great. Its a got powerful rhythm instruments, the rhythm changes between the sections add a lot of interest, good melody. The lyrics are okay, the third verse has more weight and story than the first two, too many of the words lack the focus to be effective.


Jeff Walker - Try Again: The powerful heartfelt vocal performance anchors this entire song. The lyrics are earnest and effective. The varied guitar work is subtle and engaging. The bridge adds good dynamic variety, the accordion adds warmth, overall just a good song. Double thumbs up.


Jerkatorium - Opportunity: This a robust take, the 2nd person confrontation works well. The lyrics need sharpening, more character details, more accusatory, just something more. The music is solid, strong drum beat, nice backing vocals, good chorus, good guitar fills. It lacks a little variety, the bridge could have been more of a change.


Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx: The lyrics are okay, there's some nice imagery but leans too heavily on the rhymes. I think there was room to tell more story, perhaps a riddle to focus the song. The music is fine, feels repetitive, in need of some progression. The Sphinx's vocals are bold and striking, good choice.


JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin’: The lyrics take a broad approach to opportunity whereas I think they would have benefitted from a little more story or themeing to focus them. The music is bombastic and interesting but feels like a disparate mix of elements. The vocals do a good job of holding everything together .


Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity: The picked... string instrument(?) part, the fantastic brass sections and the vocal delivery during the chorus offer a lot. The verses are kinda forgettable unfortunately so given the running length I think the 3rd was too many. You had a lot of social ills you nobly wanted to cover, just needed editing down.


Mandibles - Time Machine: You've written a killer elevator pitch but you haven't put it in the lyrics. There's plenty of beautiful poetry but you really need to underscore the plot/concept. It's a lovely song, a wonderful vocal performance and an absolute killer guitar solo.


Mandrake - Supernova: This is a cool idea for the challenge. Clever use of structure to reflect the build up the supernova and atmosphere. The arrangement was a mix bag; the synths during intro and end section were excellent, not so much in the middle. The vocals were lost in the mix and could definitely have used a stronger melody.


Menage a Tune - Push It: The concept is interesting, the tune is good, liked the hook particularly though I felt it repeated too much at the end. It's tough, shame you didn't have time to put this to music, it was a promising intro. Aw, wishing you all the best with the new baby.


Night Sky - Janus Lies: This is an elegant execution of concept, particularly structurally. Good arrangement, loved the laid back tone, gorgeous brass. I think the lyrics depend too heavily on the song bio, the concept of Janus seems strange without it. The song's short but there's enough room to explain.


Ominous Ride - The Deal: I'm a fan of Faustus stories so I liked the take on the challenge. The chorus has a strong kick, I enjoyed the dynamics, there's good guitar work throughout, that high screeching guitar really makes it. Sadly it feels stretched. Compress all the good elements down to 2½ minutes and you've got a great tune.


Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry: This is so dramatic, love the cyclical story. Really enjoyed how the music layers, evolves and builds to the harmonies at the end. A duet about a 3rd party is interesting. I felt the lyrics didn't advance the story enough in the build up to "the end"... which is in the middle. Could generally do with a little more polish but I want to hear more.


Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo: Fantastic concept, love the delivery. The regional flavour is the heart of the song and its infused in every element (or least as much as someone who spells 'flavour' with a 'u' can tell). The bulk of the song feels ponderous at times, but the spoken word sections are great and the burst of energy during the outro finishes it strong.


Profestriga - Useless Sapphic: Musically I like the wide variety in the arrangement, its a cool beat and the rap vocals are strong. Not sure the sung bits and samples fit too well though they do mix things up. It feels too harsh to enjoy but the reprimanding tone is the point of the song. This is the hardest song to judge.


Roddy - Piano opportunity: Glorious piano work throughout, loved the jazzy vocals, perfectly evokes the lyrics. This was a cool take on the challenge but felt too drawn out for the concept, didn't evolve lyrically or musically enough for the length. Excellent performance though, really enjoyed it.


Siebass - Just Go Away: This song is a massive amount of fun. Great tune, great energy, loved the way harmonies, laughed out loud at leg-face. I think the lyrics focused too heavily on the comedy of rejecting visitors and not enough on the missed opportunity in the past driving the character.


Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air: This was a gentle and hopeful view of the world that the recording embedded in reality to give a sincere soulfulness. The airport ambience gave variety to the simple guitar work to complement the dynamic vocal performance. Felt slightly too long, very much enjoyed the ride though.


Sober - Things You Can’t Unsay: There is indeed a lot of universal truth in these lyrics. Lots of Intricate fills work to enhance the solid rhythm section and backing vocals. Front and centre is an excellent vocal melody and I think the best chorus of the round. You smashed it.


Stacking Theory - Make it Great: Really enjoyed the progression of the arrangement and variety of timbres in the instrumentation, the bitcrushed vocals(?) were my favourite. The imagery reflects the warmth of music but often feels undirected. Reading your song's intent I think you could have better reflected that in the lyrics to give them more weight.


Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way: This is simple, elegant and beautifully performed. The harmonies add some delightful variety and help contribute to good dynamics that reflect the singer's reflection and resolution. I feel the vocals need a little more prominence and compression in the mix.


Temnere - Sands of Time: A good metal epic, compelling and varied arrangement. A lot of the lyrics are missing from Bandcamp* but the lyrics themselves did a good job of storytelling. I think the production didn't do the song justice, particularly the vocals and verse's guitars/synth felt small.


*[Micah here! This was my fault, when Temnere emailed me an updated draft of the song I only grabbed half the lyrics by mistake. The full lyrics are there now. Sorry!]


thanks, brain - Looking Down: This is more than sonically coherent, the soundscape is a joy to immerse myself in. The chorus is strong but I feel the lyrics of the verses don't carry any weight. A more specific opportunity to focus on (character/story/etc) would have clarified the song. A rare use of an appropriate fade out, good choice.


The Alleviators - Hit The Ground Stumbling: A lot of lovely imagery, a fantastic harmony and a wonderfully melancholic arrangement. Unfortunately I don't understand what's going on and the opportunity is hard to pin down, maybe I'm just not understanding but I want more interaction with the challenge. Really is a delight to listen to though.


The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?: I really enjoyed the music, the drums had real impact and the guitar work was spot on. Sucks about your arm, mate. Get well soon. The lyrics are kinda forgettable unfortunately, needed more powerful imagery to evoke the moment. Also felt a different key might have helped the vocals.


The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos: I enjoy the groove throughout and the chorus has a strong hook. The lyrics feel a bit of a jumble, too many elements that don't blend. Stalkery bits that go nowhere, faulty wiring and headphones feel like it could connect up somewhere. Good production, I like how it ends


The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back: I definitely melted away into the clouds, this was truly beautiful to listen to, loved the mandolin(?). I feel the first and second versus don't compliment each other enough, the first is too vague. The second works without it, you could have started there and built on it. Some of the fine arrangement is too soft in the mix.


The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance: I was thrilled by the different take this one took, calling out someone else's missed opportunity in regards to the singer. I had to Google Sally Rooney, not sure if that's my failing or yours. The song and the arrangement in particular is super entertaining, ace. Felt like the production could have had more crunch to it.


The Practitioners - Heaven: This is an excellent take on the challenge. The reflective verse is lifted by the warm positive vibes of the chorus, with the backing vocals adding intricacies through. The song is one of the handful that has been stuck in my head this week. Not sure what to suggest, maybe use line breaks when posting your lyrics?


The Single Pint of Failure - Don’t Believe in Hope: The guitar work is solid, there is a nice progression to the music and I enjoyed the vocal performance. I think the 'Interstellar' stuff held the lyrics back. The singer reflecting on the mess the world is in and wanting to work hard to make a better future is compelling on its own.


(As an aside, listening to the Shephard tones of the 'Interstellar' soundtrack in an iMax theatre is the most upsetting audio experience of my life so thanks for not repeating that! 'Interstella 5555' is a much better film than 'Interstellar')


Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line: I really enjoyed the moment the song created, the arrangement was delightful and the lyrics were elegant. Then its just over. I appreciate you are aiming for efficiency (it was certainly that) but I think this song would have greatly benefitted from some breadth. Also, I for one love an indulgent intro.


Weiner - Play Your Hand: Always appreciate a good bassline. I feel the lyrics and the music are at odds. The music has a remorseful tone, as if the song is reflecting on missed opportunities. The lyrics feel more neutral, just advising the audience to take a positive approach. I feel there was more room for character in this.


Yeslessness - My Secret: This song is short and neat, I enjoy the keyboard work and how it evokes creeping around. Overall the intended effect of the song is unclear, its neither threatening or mischievous enough to maximise on the premise. The harmonies on the vocals are a mix bag, "I tread your bedroom floor" works great.


Hutch - Opportunity Knocks: The lyrics are lighthearted and lean towards comedy, but the music lacks the energy to sell them. The song needs to up the tempo and add some variety in the accompaniment. The solo was a good change of pace, try adding some little fills throughout.


Weiner - Seven Card Stud: The arrangement is wild. There's a cool bass line and an annoying high synth. The story progression is solid but I think the chorus adds nothing. The relentlessness.of the music complements the lyrics, there's just too much muddying the song overall.

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - See-Man-Ski
Rankings from SpinTunes 19 Champion See-Man-Ski:

ST20See-Man-Ski.JPG (57.09 KiB) Viewed 311 times

(Editor note: To see the waveform graphics, go to the Spintunes site - the formating borks when I cut and paste.)
http://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/20 ... n-ski.html

Introduction
Ranking
For each entry I rate the performance, music, idea, lyrics and production. In the event of a tie in a precarious spot i.e. the top spot or at the point of elimination, you will see next to the total. This indicates I have decided this was my preferred track.

The overall score is used to order the tracks. The reviews are in ranked order, except shadows if I got around to review will appear at the bottom. The and arrows next to the rank indicate whether you have crossed the elimination threshold.

Loudness
I have also over geeked and researched how to find out the loudness details and waveforms of a track.

After listening to 47 tracks and constantly turning up and down I've decided to penalise any track in production by 1 point that falls outside the 12 - 16 LUFS bracket.

What do all these figures mean?
This is how I understand it, happy to be corrected and to learn more

LUFS
The perceived loudness over the entire track, this varies on the streaming service (it's usually -14 for most, apple like to use -16). What will happen is if you have something like -9, the site will turn down your track to -14 so that the levels match.

LRA
The amount of dynamics, the higher the figure the more dynamic it is. A low figure is not necessarily bad, some genres will suit this.

Peak
How close does it get to the peak. I find this interesting because it shows setting -0.2db peak on your output could still throw it above.

Averages
I thought it would be interesting see what a track based on the averages would look like, below are the figures

LUFS
-13.86
LRA
6.05
Peak
-0.38
Reviews
I have tried to give constructive criticism but am very conscience I could be talking firmly out of my bottom. I apologise if you take offensive, these are my views alone, and you don't have to agree or do anything with them. If you find them useful, that's great. FWIW, a lot of the comments I make I probably do the same thing myself.

I'm also super conscience that I started to get into my stride at the end of the listening, this reviewing thing is still pretty new to me and I don't think I will ever get over the fear of giving judgement.

That said, I have checked that the acts are in the right categories i.e. the track I thought deserved the top spot is the one I liked the best. The acts that appear under the elimination line are the ones I felt didn't quite cut it.

1. Also In Blue - Miss Opportunity
A catchy powerfully performed guitar based track exploring what Miss Opportunity is and how she reals you in.

Performance
Dude, this actually gave my goosebumps, it's so good!
Your vocal performance is outstanding it just ooses charisma, you really feel for your plight.
There was a missed beat (just the once) but it caught my ear around the 1:59 mark.
Music
The guitar licks are catchy as hell, the will stuck in my head all day now. I really enjoyed this though, it's one of those things that I would love to go into every detail about why it's amazing, but I just don't know what to say. I really liked it.
I did feel the beat was lacking, you had drums, but I mainly heard the cymbals, I felt it could have driven it more.
Idea
By far the best interpretation of the challenge. I love how you have made opportunity an actual person, it's brilliant, you are using her to describe what an opportunity is. It's brillient and reminds me a bit of what Elliot Smith did with Miss Misery. I do wonder if naming her Edwina was a bit of a Miss Ed Opportunity, sorry I couldn't resist .
Lyrics
Oh man, I wish I had your way with words, It does help that you are so good at expressing them in your vocals but even as a stand alone they read so well. I loved the line "She'll take the door clean off the hinges"
Production
Top notch, all the instruments come through loud and clear. The only criticism I had is the bass and snare in the drums were completely lost in the mix. It really could have used that solid beat to take it the next level, which is astronomically good!
Was a bit loud though, it will get deducted for that I'm afraid.

LUFS
-9.06
LRA
4.8
Peak
1.28
Performance
9/10
Music
8/10
Idea
9/10
Lyrics
9/10
Production
7/10
Total
42/50
2. Tunes by LJ - Draw the Line
An insane amount of talent that has been produced to a very high standard. So different and very very very good. I loved this!

Performance
Your vocals are super smooth and the amount of genres you have crammed into this short little number is inspiring.
Music
Right from the off I'm hooked and it's all because of that double bass
(0:15) I then get a little piano creeping through and my interest peeks some more.
(0:44) Jazz piano, just when I thought this couldn't get any better. Right, that's it I quit music.
(1:11) What? No more! Noooooooo, guess I'll just have to wait to see what you do next.
Idea
Although fairly simple, the idea seems pretty clear to me. You have reservations about the opportunity faced in front of you, but you jump in any way.
Lyrics
Lyrics obviously aren't the centrepiece for this track and neither should they be. I thought they were short and ambigous enough to compliment the incredible backing this track has.
Production
(0:29) Oooo, what have you done to your vocals, I like that a lot.
(0:35) Holey cow, that sub, that is a beast.

LUFS
-13.3
LRA
12
Peak
0.12
Performance
9/10
Music
9/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
9/10
Total
37/50
3. The Pannacotta Army - Never Look Back
A track that makes me feel hopeful. This one moved me, I enjoyed listening to as it made me feel like I can do it (what it is, I have no idea!). Extremely well produced with little surprises that jump out at you. Oh, and a lot of reverb!

Performance
Your vocal delivery is lovely. There is a delicacy about them that is really lovely to listen.
Each instrument is played really well I can't find a duff note or dodgy tuning.
Music
Yes, I like reverb, I want more and more and more please. You deliver that in spades.
Wonderful intro, it opens you and welcomes you into what feels like you are floating on a cloud.
(0:28) The harp brings then bring it up a notch and I feel like I'm at the gates to my next life.
The constant build up of instruments keeps this interesting. I love how well the uke and piano blend together.
Idea
I love how I feel optimistic when listening, it feels like there is an opportunity waiting for me, but I don't know what it is
Lyrics
There is not too much lyrical to this and I like that. For me the music and performance made me feel optimistic.
I really like the repeated sections that really drive how the positivity that emanates.
It's very neat in that the lyrics don't give anything away. I usually like the lyrics to really spell it out and I'm going against my songwriting philosophy, but I do like how it makes me feel like I have opportunity, and it is up to me to decide what that is.
Production
Cannot fault the production value. I'm actually extremely jealous of it. Everything has its place and even though there is a tonne of reverb it doesn't sound drowned out.
I love when those little elements i.e. the piano peeking in the mix and then that driving uke. The piano was my favourite addition.
There was one little niggle I had, I wasn't sure of that crunch in the snare hit. I felt it was a little to harsh for the sound.

LUFS
-11.23
LRA
5.5
Peak
0.45
Performance
8/10
Music
8/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
7/10
Total
37/50
4. Cavedwellers - The Last Gasp Of An Empire (The Amateur Draft)
A well executed dreamy guitar piece about moving on and telling your former employer where to stuff it.

Performance
This is very much, I am not worthy territory, the guitars are played really well and your vocals and the harmonies are crystal clear with a unique quality to them.
Music
I enjoyed it thoroughly, its such a nice listen and I looked forward to hearing it every time it came on.
Idea
Took a few reads of your lyrics but I think I get it. I think this is that you have new job, a contract or something where you are giving your former employer the finger. I struggled at first because the chorus feels more like you are hanging to something you have already got, rather than looking for something new. The title line which features quite prominently is basically what got me thinking along those lines.
Lyrics
Loved loved loved the words, I really enjoy it where you get a phrase that sounds so right, but you can't quite figure out what how it describing it. What the hell is soupy air? It fits, but I can't image air that I dunk my bread in, but it still makes sense every time you sing it. Lots to like about the lyrics, I like how the verses describe your situation i.e. verse 1 is basically explaining something new has come along, the chorus is about the failing situation you are in. Verse 2 goes into the view of the people that surround. It's really well structured and obviously thought out very well.
Production
I so desperately want to use some flange/phaser (I think its flange) on a guitar track I do now. They sounded incredible. I also really liked the sound of the drums. You can tell they are not via a drum machine (which is my tactic), there are really raw but there somehow fit within all those dreamy guitars. Balance of the mix sounds spot on to me, very jealous.
Unfortunately, it is a bit on the loud side.

LUFS
-9.46
LRA
1.8
Peak
0.1
Performance
8/10
Music
8/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
8/10
Production
7/10
Total
37/50
5. Jealous Brother - Missed Calls
A southern rock banger that did quite deliver on the chorus but painted a very vivid image of missed opportunities.

Performance
Everything is performed very well. I could have used a bit more pace, felt it was lacking in energy slightly, but I'm nitpicking.
Music
I loved the southern rock verse feel, it was a bit disappointed with the chorus. I wanted it to explode into some massive catchy tune, but it just felt like it dipped in energy rather than lift in it.
I felt like I was left hanging waiting for the chorus because the verses went on longer than I expected and the interludes between the verses kept me waiting.
That said, I did enjoy listening and would listen to this again because I enjoyed it.
Idea
I can get behind this, I loved the imagery of someone walking home after meeting the boy/girl of their dreams and then hitting the delete button. All those opportunities they might have missed. Pick up on this whilst listening and loved how I could picture the scene in my head.
Lyrics
Like I said in the idea you painted a picture, you wouldn't have been able to do that without well written lyrics. I loved how each verse tells a different tale of missed opportunities, may favourite by far was the "Walked home alone ..." when you sang that I got a very vivid image in my head.
Production
Production was spot on, I couldn't fault it all, sounded sweet in my ears.

LUFS
-9.38
LRA
2.1
Peak
1.61
Performance
8/10
Music
6/10
Idea
8/10
Lyrics
8/10
Production
7/10
Total
37/50
6. Jerkatorium - Opportunity
A really fun toe tapping track about not taking the opportunity to play the victim when you get into a fight with your loved on.

Performance
Toe tapping! The performance was banging, you have a Mark Oliver Everett quality to your voice which I really liked, as I am Eels fan. The guitars where great, they are performed with some vigour. The solo could have been better.
Music
Top notch, it was so much fun to listen to, the guitars a bit much though, I felt in the verses in particular they kind over played the vocals and I was more interested it what was being sung rather than a bit of fret \#\!\&\$ing.
Idea
Took me a while, but I think this is a song about not making something an opportunity, you've got into a fight with you better half and you can't use this as opportunity to play the victim. I think that works for me.
Lyrics
I liked them, they fitted the music and the read really well. It is a love story, but it has a nice twist whereas a lot of others sang about missed opportunities in love, you are singing about not taking the opportunity, which was a refreshingly different take on a cliché topic.
Production
Sounded pretty good to my ears, maybe you could have the production to remove some fret \#\!\&\$ing

LUFS
-13.47
LRA
1.8
Peak
-0.24
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
8/10
Total
35/50
7. Brother Baker feat. Father - The Sloth
Kick ass rock tune that delves into living with the thought that there is something, and you should take the opportunity to go for it.

Performance
I really enjoyed this, it was fast, the guitars were absolutely on the money and the different vocal styles complement each other amazing well.
I definitely got the sense of frustration that you want the opportunity to feel better in both the vocal and musical performance.
Music
This just kick ass, it's so rockin it's great. The middle 8 section caught my ear, I really enjoyed that section.
Idea
I liked the idea, it's simple. You want the opportunity to do more with your life, that's the impression I got. It was a bit cryptic but the message came across.
Lyrics
I enjoyed them a lot, you manage to convey the feeling of a lack of energy in fulling opportunities in life without actually spelling it out. They kept me enthralled throughout the listen and fitted well and stood out just by reading them.
Production
Sounded pretty damn good to me, cannot fault it. Maybe a little loud.

LUFS
-10.25
LRA
2.3
Peak
-2.58
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
7/10
Total
34/50
8. Siebass - Just Go Away
Fast in your face rocker which perfectly illustrates why cold callers do not present a good opportunity.

Performance
Great performance throughout, your vocals drive the track and the annoyance that you feel is clear. There are a few words here and there where you aren't quite on the beat, but it's not enough to distract from the quality of your performance.
Guitars rocked throughout and was head bopping throughout.
Music
Loved the key shift from the verse to the chorus. The track doesn't lose interest throughout and the chorus is super catchy and very sing alongable.
It ended extremely well on such a funny set of call and responses.
Idea
Spot on, when opportunity knocks then tell them to swivel. Love how each verse describes a different way that an opportunity comes along that you are not interested in.
Lyrics
Really witty and keeps you into it, the different scenarios you have portrayed are incredibly funny and very relatable.
Production
Hits all the right notes for me, maybe a little tidying up of those stray vocals (but they were so minor I am proper nitpicking).

LUFS
-9.58
LRA
3.5
Peak
0.68
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
6/10
Total
34/50
9. Phlub - 2023 Valley Motors Tesla Cybertruck Promo
A absolutely hilarious take on the challenge that answered the question I've always wondered. What would it be like if Mater from Cars ever formed a band?

Performance
I thought the vocals were a bit off in places, I noticed a couple of times you were late "go five hundred miles" and "Storage in the front big cap" were the few times I noted down.
Loved the all American twang you have got going throughout, it really sells the comedic value this track has.
Instruments played really well, I particularly enjoyed your mandolin.
Music
Definitely felt it could have used more, it was a bit samey throughout. You do have that full band section at the end with those "Cybertruck, WOOHOO" bits, which cracked me up BTW, but I felt it was missing something.
The sound totally fitted with what you were portraying. Kudos for that.
Idea
Absolutely adored what you have done. It made my day, there were quite a few places where I giggled out loud. Such a fun idea. The opportunity is obvious, I'm sold. Where can I get me a Cybertruck and what are the shipping costs to the UK?
Lyrics
The lyrics are great, so much fun, a joy to listen and to read in their own right.
Production
The instruments where clear throughout and the vocals worked, I think you probably could have fixed those vocal mishaps in production, a little nudge hear and there in the DAW might have done it.
The sound of drums is a little out of place, I'm not sure what it is. I think it is because all the other instruments are very dry and clear, then the drums have that natural reverb on them that makes them sound a bit out of place.

LUFS
-15.45
LRA
5.4
Peak
0.04
Performance
6/10
Music
6/10
Idea
8/10
Lyrics
8/10
Production
6/10
Total
34/50
10. Sober - Things You Can't Unsay
A fast past attack of conscience that leaves you questioning maybe I should just not say anything.

Performance
Vocals and instruments are performed exceptionally well.
Harmonies are on point.
Music
There is no questioning your talent musically, I enjoyed listening a lot.
The intensity in which you sing "Take the opportunity to shut your mouth" hit a nerve. Do you want me to shut up?
Idea
Is this a little jab to say at us? Do you want me to shut up! Personally I don't think it is, it is more of a reflection on your own behaviour rather than a subtle hint for us just to leave you alone. However, the thought did cross my mind when listening. Either way, it fits the brief.
Lyrics
Reading the lyrics I am in no doubt this song is more of a reflection rather than a dig.
I found the lyrics to be well written and fit so well with your performance.
Production
The track sounds amazing, you mandolin, guitars and drums are tight as anything and all work beautifully together.
I do feel that the bass feels a little quiet, it feels like it is lacking in low end frequencies because of it.
(0:44) Harmonies are a bit lost, felt they could be brought more up front.

LUFS
-14.43
LRA
4.8
Peak
0.07
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
6/10
Total
33/50
11. Mandibles - Time Machine
A solid retrospective track about re-visiting missed opportunities.

Performance
I thought everything was played really well, it was a good listen and I couldn't fault the performance.
Music
The chorus didn't hit its mark for me. It didn't grab and have that killer hook. It nearly did, but there wasn't a line in it that sprang out.
The middle 8 feels bare to me and when the guitar solo hit it was a bit overpowering.
I wasn't massively upset with it though, I could easily listen to it multiple times and not get bored.
The piano riff at the end of each verse line got a bit much as it was repetitive.
Faded out ... boo!
Idea
This was a problem for me, the reason being is to me this song as about hindsight and looking back on what has happened. OK fair enough hindsight is essentially a missed opportunity. I guess you do mentioned missed romance, which is a bit clichéd. Actually, in retrospect I'm being harsh (see what I did there ). I do like the idea of using a time machine to re-visit missed opportunities.
Lyrics
I liked the lyrics a lot, you have put a lot of thought into them. I really like the line "Every moment stands alone like dominoes in twisted rows" and there is something that works. They fit well with the music and they were nice to read.
Production
Solid production, there a few things that niggled me. I was frustrated that the piano got overpowered by the guitars. I love me some piano, don't hide it. The guitar solo was a bit much and could have been toned down.

LUFS
-11.24
LRA
4.9
Peak
0.17
Performance
8/10
Music
6/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
6/10
Total
33/50
12. Governing Dynamics - To The Moon!
Kick ass rock tune that delves into the ups and downs of investing in the wrong or right things.

Performance
Your singing is on point, you deliver the angst in your vocals that accompany that kick ass fuzz sound you have going on.
I really liked the guitar licks that followed your vocals in the chorus, that was really nice.
Most imporantly, I head banged all the way through.
Music
This is right up my street, I am a fan the grunge era and it ticks the boxes for me. I did feel that the middle 8 lacked a bit of luster. It dropped a bit too much for me, it helped bring it up again afterwards but it just the energy I was so used to hearing.
Idea
I do wonder if I hadn't looked at your liner notes would I have got the idea that it was about speculative markets. I did get the impressive it was about investments and their volatile nature. I had to really look for it though, it wasn't blindly obvious. That might be a good thing, but when I listen to something I like to be able to clue it together and I wouldn't have worked it out just by listening.
Lyrics
I did appreciate your lyrics, there are some wonderful little lines in there that caught my ear "keep those silver plates spinning" and "we're made for legacy and lore" to name a few. I also felt this had a really strong opening line that grabs your attention.
Production
It sounded kick ass to me, as I alluded to before I felt the middle 8 was a little lacking and could have done with something to bring it out a bit more. That's all I've got though.

LUFS
-15.38
LRA
8
Peak
-0.88
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
7/10
Total
33/50
13. Stacking Theory - Make it Great
A thumping track that hits you from the get which delivers an in inspiring message to everyone, you have the opportunity to make it great.

Performance
Love the tired out grit style of your vocals in the verse, they help life the inspiration "Make it Great" sentiment.
All the instruments are in time and played very well
(2:00) Sounds like you may have borrowed another contestant for the dahs.
Music
(0:15) The bass and the drums are a killer. When I saw the waveform I did wonder what those spikes where, I think it is the bass drum.
(0:26) Nice break down away from those huge drums and bass
(1:30) That change up into a guitar based driven track was unexpected and a nice twist.
Break down of verse and chorus is great, it really lifts it because the verse is so cut down.
Panning Hammond organ is a really nice touch.
Idea
Simple message, everything sucks, make it better.
Lyrics
Reading the lyrics, I think this is more than just go on, make it great. Now I'm thinking it's more about the opportunity to change the crappy stuff in the world and make it great. It's like you are fed up with the world and want to turn it on its head and start again.
Production
(0:50) bit crusher was a nicely used addition. Maybe a little overbearing.
The telephone effect applied to your vocals works well
Everything sounds good to my ear, nothing really caught me out.

LUFS
-13.52
LRA
5
Peak
0.11
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
7/10
Total
33/50
14. thanks, brain - Looking Down
An emotive song all about waiting for that all important Amazon delivery and neglecting all the opportunities that could have happened.

Performance
I'm a massive fan of the held notes on the verses, I might pinch that.
Your delivery of the vocals are so heartfelt, the guitars are exquisite and played very well.
The real thing that I loved was the vocals and how they bounced from one another.
Music
The effects applied to the rhythm is subtle but really brings it out.
Sometimes the vocals clash and it is hard to distinguish the different parts.
The drumming was something I noticed in this, I really liked how it switched between the verse and chorus, it just makes it pop.
However, you chose to fade out, felt like you just didn't know how to end it.
Idea
In the UK the delivery company that used to deliver Amazon packages is hermes (I think might have changed now). When I listened I got a vision of not able to being to do my work or missing out on something because I was too busy watching the Amazon app to see when my delivery will be made. Whether that is what you intended (probably not) that is what I took from it.
Lyrics
I thought the lyrics worked very well with the music, upon reading there is not much too them, but I did really like this reference to Hermes cart and the imagery that gave.
Production
This sounded fantastic, I loved the guitars and the hanging vocals.
Only niggle like I said before, sometimes the vocals clashed and I couldn't distinguish them both. They felt like they were competing.

LUFS
-12.26
LRA
2.4
Peak
-0.94
Performance
7/10
Music
6/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
7/10
Total
31/50
15. The Dutch Widows - Just The White Wine?
A guitar synthy treat which a coming together story over some white wine.

Performance
Everything was very tight and to the beat, I did note that at the end where you are singing "was it destiny calling to us, or just the white wine" that "white wine" sounded like "wine wine", which actually still works, but unfortunately you title specifically mentions white wine, so I picked up on it.
Music
I liked the feel, it felt like it belonged in a coming of age 80s film, breakfast club or something along those lines.
I thought the blend of synths and guitars was really nice and I really liked the held chorus i.e. you went into the pre-chorus but then went back into another verse which caught me off guard but in a good way.
Idea
I thought it was a fairly weak take on the challenge, there has been a lot of songs about first loves, opportunity to get together kind of thing and this was no different.
Lyrics
I did enjoy the lyrics, although the subject matter was a bit clichéd I did think you wrote it particularly well. It is really well thought out and the is way with words in it that I really liked.
Production
Nothing stuck as bad to me, it was full and sounded great in my ears.

LUFS
-10.78
LRA
2.5
Peak
1.09
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
6/10
Total
31/50
16. Balance Lost - A Temporary Window
A fun jangly guitars number which tells the tale of opportunities best not realised. The music is very varied and extremely well produced

Performance
The guitars are the standout performance for me, I really love how you can vary the rhythm and change it up from verse to verse. They are a joy to listen to, that synth solo is a great touch
I do have issues with the vocals, they are generally understandable, but there are a few choice words where I couldn't grasp it. At (1:34) window sounds like way and at 1:20 temporary sounds different every time, at first I thought you sang strawberry, then contorberry (not sure what fruit that is but is sound poisonness)
No problems whatsoever with tuning, or timing, everything hit the mark for me in that regard.
Music
As I alluded to in the performance I am a fan of your guitar work, it is very distinctive and chops and changes depending on where you are. I particularly liked the choppy guitars that found there way in around the 1:08 mark.
Your vocals fit around the guitars and you have some subtle synths that back them (at around 1:50).
How can I not mention that end synth solo? I love how distinctive it sounds, I want to say it's a bit cheesy, but I mean that in the best possible way. It made me smile and ended the song on a great note.
Idea
I get what you are doing by reading the liner notes. However, I wouldn't have picked up on that by listening. I found I couldn't listen to the track and say, "Yes, it's about lost opportunities". That may be because I was distracted with all the other things going on that the message got lost a little.
I do like the idea of it being an opportunity that you missed but upon reflection are glad you missed (that's relatable, and interesting).
Lyrics
Not much in the way of lyrics, lots of repetition but that does suit your style. I liked the ambiguity of the verses, I was hoping for a bit more clarity in the chorus without having to read the liner notes.
I loved the line "the jazz and the liquor", I interpret jazz as a double meaning. Either listening to jazz and drinking or maybe its slang for the bull s\#!\?t and the liquor, or maybe I'm off my rocker.
Production
The panning of instruments is great, gives your vocals centre stage
It's pretty loud, but not overly loud (as my LUFS for the track shows). It did catch me off guard, that could have been because the previous track was quiet. It wasn't aggressively loud.
All the guitars poke through in the right places, I wouldn't have praised them as much as I did if I didn't feel it was mixed well.
You change it up quite nicely by adding background instruments and they blended well in the mix.

LUFS
-9.06
LRA
2.3
Peak
1.13
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
6/10
Total
30/50
17. Simon Purchase James - Voices Fill the Air
A thought provoking guy and guitar tune which tells the world, by singing to people travelling between countries, the importance of having the opportunity to be who you want to be.

Performance
I must admit at first listen I just gave a massive sigh, with 47 other songs to go through having a song which is just guitar and vocals for 6+ min is a lot to process. However, having the tracks on loop and I'm glad I persisted. Your charm in the performance sells the tune and I did enjoy your dealing with that impatient person.
I think it takes balls to do this in a public setting, I am giving you extra points for that.
Music
I wasn't inspired by the style, if it was more that just an acoustic busk and had more to it, but I did feel it had that live playing charm about it which wouldn't have worked with a full band thing.
Idea
I really liked the idea, it is topical and a worthy thing to express. I liked that fact you chose to do this in a public setting to get the message out. I can get behind this 100%. It's the opportunity to be who you want to be.
Lyrics
They worked very well with your music and had a lot of meaning to them, I liked them a lot.
Production
I know this is a live recording, but I cannot mark production high for 2 reasons, there is no production value to it i.e. it is just a one take presumably on your phone. Also, with what you submitted you could have done some mastering. There are some dissonant tones in the guitar that are rather unpleasant that you could have cut out using an EQ, and you could have added some polish to the recording.

LUFS
-17.16
LRA
7.2
Peak
0.07
Performance
8/10
Music
5/10
Idea
8/10
Lyrics
8/10
Production
1/10
Total
30/50
18. Ironbark - Privilege
A really charming spelled out slow paced song about missing the opportunity to connect with the lovely Karen Wong.

Performance
The beat needs some variation, it's get rather tedious after a while.
The vocals could use a bit of character in them, you tell a very funny tale, but I just felt you didn't really sell it in the way it was, it was a bit deadpan for me.
The organs don't really carry it at all for me, there was nothing about them that screamed wow and there were a bit sloppy in places.
Music
It was a bit ploddy for me, it's a shame really because the lyrics are fantastic, it is such a charming and lovely song but I just the music let it down, it could have been so much more than I was. Instead it felt a little hollow.
One thing I did notice is your timing on "book voucher" to "relax". It sounds like relax is the book voucher which was confusing. You needed a gap between the phrases.
Idea
I really liked the concept of a missed opportunity at the spelling bee. It has bags of charm and I can really get behind it.
Lyrics
They tell a story of first love loss and the missed opportunity, so many funny moments in the lyrics. "I even put a D in it" and "karen wong don't hang with no bad fella ..." are a few I enjoyed. It had a touch of flight of the conchords about it.
Production
Much like the music I felt this was lacking. It just didn't sparkle. The organs just felt muddy and needed clarity and the drums where pretty tedious. I think this needed some more love.

LUFS
-11.36
LRA
7.4
Peak
0.06
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
8/10
Lyrics
8/10
Production
3/10
Total
29/50
19. Daniel Sitler - Sunshine
Initial listen doesn't do this track justice. It took a few listens for me to get with the awkward feel of it. The emotions are on display for all to hear and I felt that the odd timings here and there and the choice of instrumentation help set this aside. It is, however, miserable as sin and hard to listen to because of that.

Performance
Vocals feel a bit forced, you do feel the pain (sounds better on headphones than speakers).
(0:47) Something is a little out of time, however, I think this adds to the awkwardness of the subject matter.
(1:08) Lovely harmonies in the choruses. The vocal performance because of it benefits.
Music
Intro builds very nicely, I was glad to hear the elements being added bit by bit.
Very interesting use of instruments and how they are played
Improves in the chorus
(3:44) Realised no percussion, but it doesn't need it! That's impressive
The awkwardness of the music felt off at first but listening again it fits with the theme of the track.
Idea
The missed opportunity is crystal clear, unrequited love is always a good theme to go for.
It's a bit of a Debby downer, you can't get behind the protagonist. I got to the end and felt, well I'd dump you.
The emotion is there, you can feel the pain.
Lyrics
Although the lyrics were well thought out there was nothing that may me think, oh that's different. I dig like the idea of being stuck in a cave with no light as a metaphor for rejection. I think the problem is that there are so many love songs where the protagonist doesn't get the girl that it just doesn't have the same impact.
There are few lovely lines that stand out. I liked "illuminate those caves and rocky shores" as and when you sang it.
I thought you imagery of caves and catacombs is interesting, maybe could have developed that more.
Production
Lots going on, everything feels in its right place, just niggles from me really.
(0:25) Weird stabby synth that doesn't feel right, maybe some EQ to remove harshness.
(2:57) Cello peaking through is nice (I want more though, bring it out the mix).
(1:05) There are audio glitches, most prominent here (I get these too when I record too which I find it really annoying).

LUFS
-12.35
LRA
9
Peak
0.04
Performance
5/10
Music
7/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
7/10
Total
29/50
20. JW Hanberry - Opportunity Knockin'
A wacky fun banging tune about how opportunities will come your way and should grab them when you can.

Performance
I really love the sense of character in your vocals. The delivery you give has something about it that is convicting but feels quite tongue in cheeky. I just feels fun.
The craziness of the instrumentation is spell binding, the bass and the beat are out of this world and I really enjoyed or random stuff that was through in between the singing.
I did feel the guitars were a bit lacking in the chorus, they could have done more to help really life it.
Music
I'm not sure how to comment, it was certainly unique. I really enjoyed it, you never knew what you were going to get, and your introduction really didn't make you think it was going to go anywhere near what it did.
Idea
I think this is simply just explaining what an opportunity is. I think that is fair enough, it feels to me like you a saying opportunities come, and they can be frustrating, but you should take them when you can.
Lyrics
They were fairly straight forward, they didn't make my head spin trying to work out what you were saying. There wasn't anything that stood out as different about them but there definitely fit the style of music you have and the character of your voice.
Production
There were a few unpleasantries that I wasn't keen on. There was a lot of lip smacking going on that put me off, and I really didn't like the delay on your vocals. It was more prominent in the introduction, but it did make me feel a bit sea sick (especially with cans on my ears).

LUFS
-14.17
LRA
2.9
Peak
-6.4
Performance
6/10
Music
7/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
6/10
Total
29/50

[BoffoYux]

ST20.1 Reviews - See-Man-Ski
Page 2

21. Jeff Walker - Try Again
A really solid love song about mistakes made in love and begging for the opportunity to try again.

Performance
Very well played array of instruments, I was particularily taken aback with the inclusion of the accordion.
Your voice is lovely cut through the music so beautifully.
Love the emotion that comes through in spades with your voice.
Music
Really nice percussive pattern.
Can we try is such a lovely hook and very catchy.
(1:15) The accordion coming into the mix is lovely.
(2:48) The dropping out of both the slide guitar and accordion drops out a bit too much for my taste.
Idea
Nothing particularly special about the theme. Please don't leave me, the opportunity being to start again.
However, it perfectly fits with the music.
Lyrics
Although the theme of the song felt a bit clichéd to me, I did like some of the imaginary that you pay. The lines "futures and our feathers are so fine" and "a weathered hat in his hand", that feels like a little lost puppy.
Production
Felt the slide guitar needed a bit more clarity, it gets a bit lost in the mix. I wanted it to stick out some more, a bit more high end EQ could have helped.
Each instrument compliments one another, it does feel like a single instrument rather than a collection of them, you've mixed really well, and they feel like they all belong.

LUFS
-14.93
LRA
5.4
Peak
0.25
Performance
7/10
Music
7/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
6/10
Total
29/50
22. Temnere - Sands of Time
A fast pace rocking tune about moving the sands of time to save the day and get the girl/boy.

Performance
There is no doubt about, you can shred. The guitars sound amazing! It got me toe tapping which is always a good thing.
Your vocals where good, there fit the style and no stumblings that I noticed.
Music
I enjoyed how you played the genre, it feels good to my ears and the lyrics fitted the style you are playing. I wasn't so keen on the middle 8, I felt the violin was lacking the quality that the guitars gave.
Idea
I struggled with this, it didn't feel like a song about an opportunity. You are moving the sands of time to save the day/guy/girl. Isn't that just doing something, maybe it's the opportunity to save the day but it felt like the opportunity had been and gone and you were busy saving the day. There were a few hints about opportunity in the verses but as cohesive piece I didn't feel it sold it.
Lyrics
Not something I would write, but it read pretty well to me and definitely suited your style of playing and the message you wanted to convey.
Production
I thought it was generally good in terms of levels and balance. Something feels off about the master though, it feels like it needs more low and less mid frequencies. It didn't really pop, I think it needed some EQ tweaks to bring the guitars more as they felt a bit like they were competing with each other.

LUFS
-16.84
LRA
3.8
Peak
-3.56
Performance
7/10
Music
6/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
6/10
Production
5/10
Total
28/50
23. Good Niche Gracious - Cold War Master
A fun little song with a questionable fake guitar sound centred around fighting to the death in the snowball arena.

Performance
I was not keen on that keyboard part, sounded a bit tacky to my ears.
The vocals although performed very well were a bit out of sync. I also felt they need something else to go better with the style of music. Dare I say it, but I think they needed to be less on point. There needed to be a bit of grit about them.
Music
The chorus is definitely catchy, but I wasn't keen on the style. The fake guitar keyboard part just didn't work for me. I thought it had a great moment when you shifted the rhythm, I really liked that.
Idea
It is a fun idea, snow falling so let's have a snowball fight. Trouble is you get so carried away with the actual snowball fight being the centre of the song the opportunity to have the snowball fight gets lost. You start off with the idea of the opportunity in the first verse, but the central hook is definitely about having a snowball fight.
Lyrics
There fun lyrics, there is no denying that. Unique and pleasant to listen and read. I really love this description of a snowball "Spheres of frozen crystal ammo".
Production
I felt the vocals were too clean for the style of music, I wanted some distortion in you vocals. The vocals did sound good, maybe you could have aligned them more (but that's nitpicking).
It felt like you were going for a Strokes 12:51 type feel. I do wonder if you had used that as a reference track maybe it would have been more appealeding to me.

LUFS
-14.54
LRA
4.3
Peak
0.05
Performance
5/10
Music
4/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
6/10
Total
27/50
24. "BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Knockin' on wood
A rough and ready song that is uplifting and sends the message of you deserve this opportunity, so go for it.

Performance
The singing and the playing sounded fine to me, however the levels being so off could be hiding a few things.
Music
I liked the hopeful feel of the music, I felt happy when listening to it. The chorus was especially uplifting and pretty damn catchy at that.
Idea
I thought this was a nice take, you are optimistic about an opportunity that is coming your way, but you can't quite believe it.
Lyrics
The lyrics tell a story about hardship and suddenly something new and exciting comes your way. It then shifts after the chorus to be reassuring i.e. yes it has come your way, but you deserve it, so go for it.
Production
This is where you let yourself down, the mix is all over the place.
Drums are absolutely buried, any energy they would give are unfortunately lost.
Vocals are way too hot, they drown out everything else that is in the mix. I've only just noticed there are some keys in the background.
Acoustic guitars in parts come in way too hot, not as bad as the vocals but noticeable.
To quiet, the next tune nearly blasted my ears off because of it.

LUFS
-20.12
LRA
5.6
Peak
-0.3
Performance
6/10
Music
7/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
6/10
Production
2/10
Total
27/50
25. Huge Shark - Edge of a Knife
A well written tale of trusting (or not) the wrong person which doesn't quiet deliver a sinister sound scape. It is a bit messy and bit OTT but there is promise.

Performance
The music is played well, but I have to wonder how much of that is due to the effects being applied rather than the way it is played. It sounds like it is very reliant on delays.
It is sung very well and the emotion and clarity of the words come through.
Music
There were some nice interludes, I enjoyed how you blended the verse into the chorus (0:38) and the harmonies really help lift it.
The introduction of harmonies (1:00) on the 2nd verse helped to vary it.
Like I illuded in the performance, the music seems to be very similar across the whole song with a reliance of effects to help it. It does work on the first few listens, but it becomes a bit samey after a while and sounds a bit messy.
The music really doesn't help deliver the sinister nature of the song, I only got how dark it actually is when I read the lyrics. It's a bit happy for me to blended with those kinds of words.
Idea
I like the idea, it's pretty sinister and creepy. It's a nice twist on the challenge, it's an opportunity, but you really shouldn't take it.
Lyrics
As someone who struggles with lyrics, I did appreciate the craft. I liked how you were living in her presence, almost a fly on the wall. It's written like a story and I really liked the little name-drops e.g. Jimmy Choos and Dior and tickets to Berlin.
Production
Although it sounded good and ticks all the boxes in terms of loudness, it was a bit overbearing. I think you needed to reign the delays and panning and try and focus on the feel of it. I get the feeling you are venturing into new territory and chucking everything you can at it. Which is the first step, the next step is to chuck everything you can at it and then take away, mute channels whilst listening back and play around with what you can do without.

LUFS
-14.3
LRA
4.6
Peak
-0.85
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
5/10
Total
27/50
26. Hot Pink Halo - Op shop
A quirky lovely little tune about spending your well earned cash on whatever you like, especially if you're in line for an operation. I felt the music fitted the words and subject matter very nicely.

Performance
(0:08) I think the bass is little out, timing wise
(1:27) The violin sounds a little out of tune to my ear, not much mind you (it could be my imagination). Actually I think might just be an EQ tweak, maybe.
Music
(0:24) switch up to electric guitars is nice
I love the Op Shop hook, it does get a bit tiresome towards the end mind you
(1:27) Nice breakdown and introduction of strings.
Idea
I live quite near the land of shoppertunity, or Meadowhell as I like to call it. Your version of shopping sounds more appealing to me. It reminds of my days working at Matlock with the wonderful Vom Vorton, we used to go charity shopping on our lunch. It's always a good thing if you can invoke a memory.
Reading the lyrics I like this even more, I got the idea that you are opportunity shopping. I didn't pick up on shopping for an operation in the 3rd verse. I did wonder why you dropped x-ray machine in, but that makes sense now.
Lyrics
I enjoyed the change up between the verses, each verse had a story to tell. It flowed very nicely.
I initially liked the chorus. It was a bit grating after a while, catchy as hell through.
Good use of clever words that a thicky like me has no understanding of. "Cyclorama" <- totally lost on me!
Production
Overall it did sound good, there was a nice blend of instruments, and they all came in at the right times. I do feel that some tweaks could have been made. I thought the bass was a little jarring, maybe tidy up the timing a little and try and make it so it doesn't take up so much of the mix (that said, it was just the intro). The violin sounded like it needed some EQing.

LUFS
-12.14
LRA
6
Peak
-0.46
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
5/10
Total
27/50
27. James Young - What Can I Do?
A well produced hard hitting performance that just missed the mark on delivering some interesting ideas and lyrics.

Performance
Everything is played very well and it is sung with conviction.
That guitar solo absolutely shreds, very nice indeed
Music
I like how it builds, each new section introduces new elements and a get larger and bolder as you go on through the song.
The chorus does come through nicely, you can really tell that it is an important part of the song.
The acoustic guitar playing didn't really grasp me, it felt like a bit of a 3 chord hack, the electric guitar made up for that in spades though.
Idea
The opportunity is life, I'm not buying that. Feels like a bit of a cop out to me. I want something more concrete, a specific thing.
Lyrics
They feel a bit hippy and I wasn't captivated. They were a bit clichéd for more, blinded by the truth because you lie as a hook is just a bit, OK fair enough. I want something unexpected that conveys the same thing.
Production
I liked the sound, it was full, it built and was very pleasant to listen. One thing did niggle me a little. I didn't like the unpleasant spitting sound that I heard every time you sang truth and youth. You could have done a retake on that or you might have been able to fix that in production.

LUFS
-13.97
LRA
9.6
Peak
-0.92
Performance
6/10
Music
6/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
7/10
Total
26/50
28. The Evil Genius formerly known as Timmy - Monkey Videos
An catchy synth pop piece that belongs in the late 90s that is going to be stuck in my head whether I like it or not.

Performance
Introduction is a lack luster.
(0:37) \"Faulty wiring\" sounds like \"For to Irene\", not sure which I prefer, both make sense to messy.
Ending is messy.
Music
(1:10) Oo oo oo oo, is a great hook.
Music is ridiculously and chorus is ridiculously catchy.
Sounds a lot like Dandy Warhols.
Idea
Interesting take, a touch of imposter syndrome in the workplace or just easily distracted means you are missing out something important.
The chorus is catchy, that's for sure. I felt like it needed more context, I felt a bit all over the place. It would have been better if there was a bit more narrative why you were distracted by the monkey videos rather than just, I'm in office or I'm in the yard.
I don't think it is very nice to call security guards ugly and meaningless, feels a bit mean to me.
Lyrics
I thought the lyrics were OK, but I think they felt a bit thrown together and could have been embellished.
Production
Everything sounds like, the panning separates everything nicely
Like how the chorus builds.
The big tubular synth gets a bit much, it's really in your face and I could have done with less.

LUFS
-12.75
LRA
10.8
Peak
0.18
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
6/10
Lyrics
4/10
Production
6/10
Total
26/50
29. Berni Armstrong - It Will Come in Handy One Day
This is a unique take on the challenge, it was fun to read and listen to but lacked any real imagination in the instruments used and the production.

Performance
It doesn't start well, your timing is off, and it is immediately obvious that you are a little (not much mind you) out of tune.
Vocals come across loud and clear and understand every single word you are singing. Particularly like the way you conveyed "Diogenes Syndrome"
Solid vocal performance throughout, the banjo (I think that's what it is, I'm terrible at placing instruments) is a bit ropey in parts but generally pretty solid, just a shame it starts a bit messy.
Music
I wanted far much more out of the music, it is very bare and doesn't really shift musically.
At the very least it felt like it could have used some percussive elements to drive it along and if you introduced it midway it could have given it a much needed shift.
It drove very well, there was a groove, and it felt a bit like a sea shanty, which I think works with the theme.
I enjoyed the chorus, the way you sang "rubbish" has a nice harshness to it.
Idea
The take on the challenge about all the missed opportunities of what you have hoarded is very clever.
The idea is very obvious when you listen to the track, you don't have to read into it to try and figure it out.
Lyrics
This was the star of the show for me.
I loved that it was a person you can on a journey with.
I loved all the situations that Jim got into.
The words flow very nicely and the shift in rhyming schemes on the first and last verses vary it up a little.
Production
I thought with what you had it sounded nice, but you didn't really push yourself with this, which was disappointing.
Looking at my loudness statistics, it's a little quiet.

LUFS
-20.35
LRA
6.8
Peak
0.04
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
7/10
Production
2/10
Total
26/50
30. Mandrake - Supernova
An interesting but awkward track which explores the feeling of watching a supernova.

Performance
The vocals were incredibly hard to follow, I couldn't understand most of what was being sang.
The other elements although interesting were more programmed than they were performed. I still think that counts in my book, I enjoyed the sounds.
Music
This is a mix of interesting and awkward for me, you have a lot of clever little tricks under you sleave, but it feels a bit disjointed.
I thought the break at start was nice. Really stops you in your tracks.
Did I catch the sound of eating crisps as a percussive element?
This definitely morphs, it's very hard to keep up with what is going on, but it starts quite slow and awkward then gets all chip tuney and has quite a nice beat behind it.
Idea
I guess the opportunity is to be able to see a supernova. However, I have issue with this because it because a song about a supernova, not the opportunity to see it. Your liner notes even allude to that.
Lyrics
They're a bit generic, I'm sure there are things you could have written about that a specific to a supernova. You kind just go, wouldn't it be cool to see a supernova. I want to know why it would be cool, what is it that I would get to see. Are there any clever supernova terms you could have googled that you can drop in the lyrics?
Production
You spent a lot of time put this together and it shows. I did feel some parts needed tweaking here and there, but there were some production decisions I really liked. The big break at the start and the reverb you put on supernova to drag it out were interesting.

LUFS
-13.73
LRA
10.4
Peak
0.58
Performance
6/10
Music
6/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
7/10
Total
25/50
31. Roddy - Piano opportunity
A guy and piano that is singing about all of us gullible musicians that got dupped by the opportunity to get better at it.

Performance
The piano was played very well and you would hope so considering the subject matter and the singing was good to. I would have like to hear more instruments to really bring it out though.
Music
I just thought this sounds exactly like Randy Newman. I enjoyed it but it didn't stick out as unique because of that.
Idea
As someone who is always looking for courses to try and improve online and fell well within the "gullible musician" bracket I hated the idea. It really annoyed me as it felt like you were having a dig at me. I would have prefered if it was directed more towards the crappy site but it felt more like us poor stupid musicians that decided to purchase it. I don't like feeling stupid when I listen to something, and this did that.
Reading through the lyrics it would have almost worked if you hadn't had used lines like "Persuade the gullable to subscribe" and "If you get those suckers to pay". As soon as I realised you were calling me a gullable sucker I was put off.
That all said, it was a unique take on the challenge you just didn't think of your target audience.
Lyrics
They were different lyrics, I liked how you changed it up between the verses. You already know why I'm not massively keen, but it does read well and goes with the music.
Production
Sounds good, but I'm not sure how much effort was made into making this. For all I know it could have been a huge miccing operation of a grand piano, but with so few elements it just feels bare.

LUFS
-21.27
LRA
3.9
Peak
-4.2
Performance
6/10
Music
6/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
5/10
Total
25/50
32. The Alleviators - Hit The Ground Stumbling
A track that doesn't quite feel realised about an opportunity that came up that you regret not taking.

Performance
This doesn't feel very polished, the bass guitar at the intro is sloppy, and your vocals together do go off on tangents in places. It feels a bit rushed and could have used some more practice to get the parts nailed.
Music
When you get it right your vocals together sound really nice. I did think they helped lift the chorus.
I was intrigued when the church organ came in at the start but unfortunately in the song once the guitars kicked in kind of stole the show. I wanted more of that.
I really want to like it more than I do, there is lovely quality about it but it just never really grabbed me I'm afraid.
Idea
I think this song is about an opportunity that went wrong. I'm struggling because the chorus feels like you are running away from something. Maybe, it's about an opportunity that came up i.e. "I think I missed an incoming call" that you are regretting not taking. Yeah, that's my interpretation.
Lyrics
I think the chorus is nice, I don't think it has that killer hook where I'm never get it out of my head (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). I find the message a bit confusing and struggled to understand the meaning. I think I liked it more than disliked it, but I struggled, it was a bit too hard for me to get my head around (although I'm probably just a bit thick).
Production
Much like the performance I thought this didn't have the care and attention it probably deserved. In particular, I wasn't keen on the levels of the different vocals, the female vocal felt overpowering at places.

LUFS
-16.41
LRA
6.3
Peak
-0.1
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
3/10
Total
23/50
33. Ominous Ride - The Deal
A unique take on the challenge where you have an opportunity of a lifetime at the cost of your soul, but the repetitive nature of the music made this a hard listen.

Performance
I wasn't grabbed at all, it was extremely repetitive and those elements of the track really got on my nerves. The bended guitar that was played constantly and that guitar after your vocals in the verses got very tiresome because they were so constant and exactly the same.
I thought the solo was weak, it felt programmed and very downplayed. I want it to shred, but it was there but didn't really have any presence.
I thought the chorus had an interesting vocal arrangement.
Music
Not a fan I'm afraid, the repetition put me off straight away. It just didn't have anything that made it stick out. The chorus nearly rescued it, but then the verses started again, and it lost interest. Also, all I could hear was that bended guitar which I found annoying.
Idea
I did like the idea, you have the opportunity to make a deal with the devil. I though that was a neat take on the challenge.
Lyrics
I liked the idea and your lyrics did portray this, but there was really any clever word play or interesting metaphors. It was spelt out (which I like incidently) but there wasn't anything that made me think, that's a nice way of describing that.
Production
I felt the balance was OK, the solo was completely lost and probably wise considering it didn't really give anything. Like I said in the performance it all sounded a bit programmed, which is fine if you don't have the ability or instruments to play. However, you can do a lot in the production to spice it up i.e. use a humanizer on the repetitive parts so you DAW changes it up for you. Add some delays and effects to the solo so that it makes it sound bigger than it actually is.

LUFS
-12.1
LRA
5
Peak
0.05
Performance
4/10
Music
3/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
4/10
Total
23/50
34. The Popped Hearts - Never Miss A Chance To Miss A Chance
A punktastic tale of unrequited love from the girl next door.

Performance
It's not as tight as it could be, I thought the vocals needed to be bit sharper and the rhythm guitar could have used a few more takes to get it on the beat. However, it was rawkus and it was well paced and fun to listen to.
Vocals felt like they needed to have more of a shout style.
Music
I really liked the build up into the song, you introduced us into it well and when the lead guitar kicked in at 0:40 it really picked up the pace.
Toe tapped all the way through.
The chorus does have the potential to be catchy "miss chance to miss a chance" is a hook, but it just is delivered, I think maybe some more harmonies or something to really pick it out.
I did like the little key shift at the end of the track.
Idea
Another love song about a chance missed in love. Felt there was probably something more you could have done with the challenge.
Lyrics
There were a few lyrical lines that caught my attention. I liked the reference to "praxis" and "Fabian tactics". I also liked the mention of "my suburban cul-de-sac" which made this feel like more down to earth.
Production
Nothing really stuck out as out of place, the drums did sound a little weak compared to the guitars, I would have been tempted to slap a bit of distortion on them to try and make them sound more rawkus.

LUFS
-11.38
LRA
5.1
Peak
-0.15
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
5/10
Total
23/50
35. Jocko Homomorphism - The Captive Sphinx
A trip into the games arena for the opportunity to win and laugh at your opponent ... a lot!

Performance
I want to like the performance, but it's just a bit too weird for me. I found all the laughing really got on my wick and the disjaunted vocals just too much. I will say this, I did like it at the start because it felt like an episode of stranger things.
Music
It is certainly different, I will give you that. I thought the feel was right for what you wanted. It feels like it belongs with a board game i.e. Dungeons and Dragons or Magic The Gathering, please don't take offense if I get them wrong and miss the context, I know what they are but not how to play.
Like I said in the performance for someone who isn't into that kind of thing it just came across as annoying and it did raise my eyebrows and make me think "what the hell is going on"
Idea
At a guess I would say the opportunity is to win the game your playing. I must admit that was at a push and I didn't get any kind of association to opportunity just by listening. There is probably something clever I am missing, but I don't get it.
Lyrics
I think the lyrics work very well for the genre you are peddling. They are mysterious and foreboding and you kind of feel like you are gathered in basement playing role playing games. I think it works for what you wanted to achieve.
Production
I did like your use of panning, it was cool how you vocals shifted left to right and the synths were constantly panning. However, that only became apparent when I listened using my cans, on speakers I didn't pick up on that happening.

LUFS
-15.21
LRA
18.4
Peak
0.86
Performance
3/10
Music
4/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
6/10
Production
6/10
Total
22/50
36. The Practitioners - Heaven
A confusing take on the challenge which flows well and has a great beat.

Performance
The rapping sounding pretty damn good to me. Not being into the style and how you do it I don't feel in place to pass comments, it works for me though.
Music
The beat drives it along quite nicely and complements your rapping and I liked the little reverse sample you have going on.
The chorus is catchy enough, the overlaid rapping is very cool.
Idea
I didn't feel the idea of an opportunity played any part in the lyrics whatsoever, I felt you had a line that mentioned opportunity knocking and that was about it.
Lyrics
Not being a fan of the genre, it's hard to pass judgement. I can only go on what I heard and whether I liked it. I thought they flowed very well, but I would have liked it the play around with an opportunity, that didn't come across in the lyrics.
Production
Sounded good to me, I would have liked the female vocals to have taken a more prominent part in the chorus. I felt they were second fiddle to your rapping, and they could have really lifted the track.

LUFS
-14.39
LRA
6.9
Peak
-0.34
Performance
6/10
Music
5/10
Idea
2/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
6/10
Total
22/50
37. Night Sky - Janus Lies
A rather questionable performance about a guy or girl named Janus who is a bit of a fibber.

Performance
Sorry, but your vocals are way off point. There were quite a number of occasions where I winced because you wavered or couldn't quite reach a note. That could have used a few more takes.
The brass section nearly saved you, if you had done that throughout I would have liked it more.
Music
It was a slow paced piece that needed you to deliver on the vocals as they were the centre piece. I enjoyed the brass section and I liked the introduction of the Hammond organ but everything else kind of washed over me.
Idea
I'm really struggling to pick out the opportunity. I get the impression there is a person called Janus, and they lie but what's that got to do with opportunities. There are sprinkles of it in the verses i.e. "chance stood naked before me" but it seemed more like a song about someone being dishonest rather than centred around an opportunity.
Lyrics
You do have a nice way with words in the verses that were interesting and engrossing. I didn't like the repetition of "Janus Lies" in the chorus. I do get the impression that Janus means more than an actual name. I have a feeling it refers to something as well as someone, which I like. Just read your bios, and I was right, he is a Roman God.
Production
I thought the drums were a little too aggressive for the track and could have been fixed in production. I thought brass sounded spot on, but you might have been able to do something to rescue your voice, but I think it probably needed re-recording (which is a production decision).

LUFS
-15.34
LRA
5.6
Peak
-0.73
Performance
4/10
Music
4/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
6/10
Production
4/10
Total
21/50
38. Yeslessness - My Secret
A little tune about the urge to be a nosey so and so who sees an open door and can't resist.

Performance
The vocals are a bit cringey and are obviously out of key.
I liked the stabbing organ I thought that work quite well.
You are trying to cram in too many words in chorus "would try to control" is a bit of a mouth full. I would have been tempted to drop "try to" so it rolls off the tongue better.
It's a very repetitive rhythm that doesn't really change throughout the verses, it feels like it has been programmed rather than played.
Music
It was ok, it had a nice pace was just bit plonkey plonkey and nothing really grabbed my attention throughout.
Idea
I liked the idea of an open door and the opportunity to be a little bit naughty. I thought you could have expanded it further, could he have been thief, was there a twist you could have thrown in. We knew from verse 1 that you were snooping, maybe verse 2 could have expanded on that.
Lyrics
Pretty much the same as the idea, neat concept would have like the lyrics to have gone off in different direction as when they started. The chorus doesn't work for me at all, it's obviously rushed and could have been made better so that it doesn't sound so awkward.
Production
Didn't have any real issue with how it sounded, maybe it was a bit regimented, and you could have humanized it a bit, so it doesn't sound programmed. Other than that nothing really caught my ear.

LUFS
-16.59
LRA
5
Peak
-0.12
Performance
4/10
Music
4/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
4/10
Production
5/10
Total
21/50
39. Bubba & The Ghost of the Kraken - Knock Knock Knock
Fun song that twisted the challenge into a very catchy hook. The production choices felt a bit out of place to my ears at times but the chorus sticks out a mile.

Performance
I find that "Vvvvv" at the start very annoying and I rather it was there.
Lots going on musically it is a fun listen.
The lyrics come through clearly, I can understand every single word you're singing.
Music
I like the play on the tile of the challenge it is super catchy
Knock Knock Knocking is a really nice hook that really sticks into your head
I thought the chorus does have a really nice lift to it that sets it aside from the music.
Idea
Struggling to see what the opportunity is, if anything, I want to have that "ah, that's what they realised, missed, ignored etc".
Felt like you had the idea of "Knock knock knock" early on and then everything else was an afterthought.
Lyrics
Other than the hook there is nothing in the lyrics that cries unique, it's a bit clichéd for me.
Rhyming is lacking any real imagine, You rhymed "like it" with "like it".
Production
The distorted vocals don't work for me against the cleaner instruments. IMO, if you are going to use distorted vocals the track needs to match it in some form. Maybe some saturation on the instruments, so they don't sound as clean.
Drums are a bit over powering and I would hazard a guess they are just taken out of ez drummer or something like that out of the box. I think you could have tweaked the levels and eqs to match it blend a bit more.
I do like that this does have some production value to it and I think that deserves commending, just feel it could have used some love to really get the elements to gel together well.

LUFS
-17.85
LRA
1.8
Peak
-0.14
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
4/10
Total
20/50
40. Phantom Woes - New Woman, New Cry
A rather confusing extremely panned track that explores the feelings of not taking a chance in love.

Performance
The vocals don't work for me, you rush your lines, and they aren't as polished as I would like.
The saxophone solo needs more practice, it's a nice addition, but I just felt it was played particularly well.
I did like the piano that worked really well for me.
Music
It felt a bit confusing to me, so many instruments were crammed in bouncing off both of my ears and the vocals were difficult to place inside all of that madness. I felt it needed more structure to try and improve the clarity. I didn't get a sense of any hook or something that would remain in my head.
Idea
It's about not taking the opportunity for a new love. However, the centrepiece i.e the chorus is more about your feelings about not taking the chance rather than the opportunity. I would have liked this to explore what the opportunity was.
Lyrics
I felt it needed more, it deals with how you felt but in a very generic and clichéd way, is a there a more artful way of saying how you felt that doesn't feel like it has been said many times before.
Production
I felt a lot could have been done to improve this, the panning is really confusing and just leaves your head in a spin. The vocal effects sounded weird and they just didn't fit in with the mix. I came out of the listen not really knowing what happened because I was just lost in stuff that was bantering around my ears. It did sound a lot worse in my headphones.

LUFS
-15.21
LRA
9.7
Peak
-0.1
Performance
4/10
Music
3/10
Idea
4/10
Lyrics
4/10
Production
4/10
Total
19/50
41. chewmeupspitmeout - Never Die
A depressing song that looks like it is dealing with the opportunity not to die and the fear that surrounds it.

Performance
Vocals are a bit all over the place. I'm not sure that how you are singing in the chorus suits you vocal range. It feels pretty forced and strained to my ears. Possibly could have used a few more takes to nail it.
Music
I wasn't a fan of all the breaks, it just never got going to me and that drum beat just doesn't fill the void.
You do get the feeling of doom listening to it, but it just felt awkward to me.
Idea
I thought the idea wasn't great. The opportunity not to die and writing about death is just so morbid and depressing, it makes me down in the dumps (even more so than usual).
Lyrics
The lyrics themselves are actually pretty good, they are expressive and interesting to read.
Production
Some sound choices where questionable, I did not like the bass drum sound, it was short and sharp and had a tone to it that just didn't sit right with me.
Deep bass line could do with being cleaner, it felt liked it belong on a synthwave track. I wanted something a nice and deep but without the added features, maybe a simple sine wave could have worked. I think you used an FM synthesiser, the modulation just didn't work for me.
Maybe could have done something with you vocals to try and make sound a little better than they did.

LUFS
-16.39
LRA
14
Peak
-0.52
Performance
4/10
Music
4/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
3/10
Total
19/50
42. Profestriga - Useless Sapphic
An overly aggressive track about getting with someone you are not sure is into you.

Performance
I liked the backing track, you have a nice double bass going on and that piano which comes is very nice. I do have issues with the vocals. The starting vocal is a bit cringe worthy, it comes across as very desperate. You then go into some very aggressive rap style which feels mean, and I found it hard to get past that feeling.
Music
I thought the music worked, the rapping was intensive and delivers a punch. I just wish it wasn't so creepy, it comes across as stalkerish. Long story short, the music felt right if the subject matter was different.
Idea
This feels like a missed opportunity to dominate a girl that you like. I found it quite offensive and derogatory, and I couldn't get behind it at all.
Lyrics
Didn't like them, I find it hard to read and to listen to because of the derogatory nature.
Production
Not anything I can hear that stuck out, levels feel right to me and everything sounds good.

LUFS
-14.19
LRA
7.7
Peak
0.12
Performance
5/10
Music
6/10
Idea
1/10
Lyrics
2/10
Production
5/10
Total
19/50
43. The Single Pint of Failure - Don't Believe in Hope
A blisteringly loud heavy rock song that does deliver on intensity but at the cost of deafening the listener and loss of any dynamics that the track could have had. I do think this had potential, but the shear loudness was a real off putter for me.

Performance
This track is a bit one dimension, it's kind all or nothing really. I felt like I was repeated hit with aggressive guitars and vocals. At around the 2:17 mark I found it very tiring to listen to.
Not sure how I feel about the pronunciation of "Wait". I think that's a dialect thing though and it does add character.
There isn't any timing issues or tuning that immediately struck me. Just wasn't a fan of how much is thrown at you without a reprieve or some dynamics to give you a bit of a break.
Music
It's a shame about the production because as it is so loud it gets distorted and distracts you from what is going, the panning guitars after the hook are nice (1:20) and the solo does help to break it up a little (1:30).
Idea
I don't see the opportunity in this, feels more like you are stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out, maybe it's the opportunity to get home, but that's at a push. Maybe you are retrospectively looking at the aftermath of an opportunity that's happened. On second glance, I think the context is there, but I had to really struggle to find it.
Lyrics
The repetition of I believe was a bit much for me. There is a structure in the verse to the chorus, I just wasn't sold on the story. I didn't feel like I could relate to it and wasn't personally invested in the message,
Production
WAY TOO LOUD! All the dynamics have been lost! You have a whopping -3.84 LUFS and 2.29 peak which is crazy loud.
At some points the vocals sound like they are clashing (1:14) which is unpleasant. That could be to do with the amount of limiting you are putting on it that is just pushing over the limit.
Vocals got quite tinny in places, 1:08 is where I spotted it.

LUFS
-3.84
LRA
3.9
Peak
2.29
Performance
5/10
Music
5/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
2/10
Total
18/50
44. Loren Kiyoshi Dempster - Land Of Opportunity
A rushed long song about a sea of different opportunities that have knocking, some interesting percussive elements and comic moments but hard to listen to in one sitting.

Performance
Vocals are really rushed, you have crammed so many words that you struggle to keep up and the vocal performance suffers because of it.
The trumpets were a nice touch, but I would have wanted more than those one note stabs that I got.
Music
This was so long and varied very little that it is a chore to listen to the whole way through. I think it could have been shortened to hold my attention. There were a few instrument changes that did help, but it wasn't enough.
The that's knocking at the door line is repeated so often it becomes very tiresome.
Idea
I guess the opportunity is that all these people are knocking at the door and all the people that are there are the opportunity. Problem is it turns into jus ta list of people and things rather than a cohesive idea of a particular opportunity. It's hard to get behind because it feels like everything has just been thrown into a pot and mixed together.
Lyrics
Too many verses and an irritating chorus, there is a good rhyming scheme going on, but I just felt you needed to really go through it and define the verses a bit more, I honestly think if this was a shorter song and you had sacrificed some verses the chorus wouldn't have got so annoying and it wouldn't have lost my attention. Less is more!
There were a few moments that made me chuckle, so you get a point for that.
Production
I think the production was OK, I couldn't pin anything down that was obvious when listening. Maybe the vocals where a little hot in the mix, but there wasn't anything that raised an eyebrow.

LUFS
-18.27
LRA
7.9
Peak
-2.8
Performance
4/10
Music
3/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
4/10
Production
4/10
Total
18/50
45. Weiner - Play Your Hand
A bit of ploddy track which has some questionable instruments that really take over the track, but unfortunately not in a good. The lyrics have some nice word play, I do like the idea of a deck of cards, but it isn't enough for me, I'm afraid.

Performance
Your vocals sound tired and lack luster, there is no real presence about them.
The acoustic guitar is played nicely and does feel like its in its place.
Everything just doesn't fit, it's all a bit messy. There are a few timing issues that could have been ironed and doesn't captivate me.
Music
It plods along, no real flourishes in the track that really lift it.
Violin is way way way too much and just doesn't work at all.
Idea
I do think the playing cards idea is interesting, but it's second fiddle to the opportunity in my eyes. Your first to lines say, oh you had an opportunity time to play it, then it goes off into how you should play it rather than describing what the opportunity is.
Lyrics
It's a stretch on the challenge. It is different but it's nothing special.
Production
Some horrible mid range tones that could do with cutting out using EQ.
Acoustic guitar fits, a bit too hidden. Shame it's the best sounding thing in the mix
Violin takes over and isn't very pleasant. Sounds like you need a better VST to me, or mess around with what you have got. Add some saturation, shove a bit crusher on, adds some chorus flange. At the very least slab some reverb or delay on it because it just sounds dry and horrid. It definitely needs some eqing to reign in some of those harsh tones it has.
Percussion and bass need bringing up, they're a bit buried in the mix.
Reverb on the vocals is a bit too short for my taste.

LUFS
-13.39
LRA
4.4
Peak
0.13
Performance
3/10
Music
3/10
Idea
5/10
Lyrics
3/10
Production
3/10
Total
17/50
46. Menage a Tune - Push It!
A very minimum effort acapella track about the opportunity to take out some money.

Performance
Sorry, I found it extremely to listen to. It is brave to do acapella, but it was a very difficult listen for me.
Music
There is no music! Tell you what, I'll give you half a point because there was a tiny bit of music right at the start.
Idea
The idea is neat, I like the thought of someone coming to cash machine and not knowing how much they have in there and the opportunities they have depending on how much is in their account.
Lyrics
The lyrics are interesting, but they don't feel musical. When I read them and when you sing them they just don't feel like they would fit behind any musical structure. Maybe I'm being unfair because there is no music behind it, but looking at them if I was to attempt to put music on them myself I think I would need to alter them to fit.
Production
Again, not really much production if any.

LUFS
-15.25
LRA
9.3
Peak
-2.31
Performance
1/10
Music
0.5/10
Idea
7/10
Lyrics
5/10
Production
1/10
Total
14.5/50
47. Susan Veit Heslin - Go My Own Way
A fairly middle of the road girl and guitar track about some opportunity (I'm not sure what), had some lovely harmonies here and there but didn't really capture my attention.

Performance
Vocals were pretty weak, you either need to fix it in production or get better at moving to and from the mic as your vocals got louder and quieter throughout the track.
Guitars are pretty simple with no real stand out playing that caught my attention.
The harmonies where nice and lifted it up and I noticed some vibrato in your voice that caught my attention.
Music
I would have liked a lot more, the guitar was there but that was it. I'm afraid it just wasn't enough to really wow me.
Idea
I get the impression this is a song about an opportunity missed and regretting it. For me I would want a specific opportunity and this was a bit too woolley for me.
Lyrics
There were some nice lines but it just felt a bit clichéd and nothing special really grabbed me.
Production
Considering there is little going on I was still able to pick holes. You could have levelled out the vocals using a vocal leveller or some compression. Your guitar tone could have used some eqing to bring make it brighter, possibly reduce the mid frequencies and cut out some of those dissonant tones that crept into the mix. Just feels like you recorded this one take, added some harmonies and were done with it.

LUFS
-17.86
LRA
6.5
Peak
-0.98
Performance
3/10
Music
3/10
Idea
3/10
Lyrics
4/10
Production
1/10
Total
14/50