You spin me right 'round like (Wheels On Ice reviews)

[Pigfarmer Jr]

right 'round, right 'round.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Lyrics: viewtopic.php?t=12562

[Lunkhead]

Songs posted!

[jb]

Reviews
Chrome Sandwich
I like the verse vibe but it goes on too long. The chorus sounds whiney and needs a hook. I like the guitar solo a LOT. In general it needs more variation. I know it’s rich coming from a Yak but this would’ve been better 45 seconds shorter.

The Mellfire Trifecta
I like the guitar tone. It gets less dense at the verse and that is a nice change. The vocals are nice. The pre-chorus kind of stalls the song alas. Oh nice harmonies in that bridge thing. I dig this.

Dead Ambassadors
Nice little mini set of rock songs. This has a groove. I feel like the first phrase of each verse line really sits nice, but it’s let down by the second half. The “Wheels on Ice” repetition is cool but maybe could have hit harder or been more emphatically delivered. Overall I dig it!

Jim of Seattle
In college jazz band rehearsal one day we did an exercise where we made a tune out of word phrases. I picked “Where’s my cigar?” And then we continued with “it’s in my back pocket”. It was fun. I like this, it’s very inventive yet returns to the motif a lot to keep that through line. I think you could have blended the initial phrase inspiration with the music more seamlessly so it seems to flow into the music.

The Freezing Hands
Ooh retro. I’m like 1:30 in and hoping for some variation. 15 more seconds and it comes— which it had more energy or something to hang my ears on. This has a 70’s era Talking Heads vibe but it needs more inspiration and a clearer storyline with some hook lines to keep the listener interested. “I’d rather be late than not play in the game.” — need something more visceral than that. Much too long.

Johnny Cashpoint
Nice vibe, and I was kind of invested in what’s gonna happen to Biggles and Clyde. Tragic. They definitely should’ve stayed inside.

The Craic Pipers
Nicely performed all around. Needs a hook or two in my opinion. It’s a nice break when the vibe changes and the pad comes in, though overall each section feels like it establishes itself and then doesn’t change or have an arc. I feel like that’s a missing element— matching a feeling of progression between the story of the lyrics and the music. It becomes a bit samey samey. That said, it kept my interest enough that I was kind of surprised when it ended. Which is good and bad because it didn’t feel like a natural completion, just a stopping.

heine
Oh the music rocks so much, including the verse backing, that I really feel let down by the lyrics and their lack of hooks. This music deserves some tattoo lines that really make me wanna sing along. This is a frustrating entry.

The Rogue Fedoras
…how long is this… ok I guess I can last that long. nope I was wrong

Pigfarmer Jr
Sounds lovely. Oh man this is a sad song. Phew.

Yaks
Ken made lyrics and sent them out. Lunkhead made the music structure and edited the lyrics. I sang and mixed. Mo did the guitar solos. I would like this production to have more areas of sparseness. It’s kind of intense all the way through. No builds or drops either. All my fault.

[Heine]

Chrome Sandwich:
It has a strong chorus. Can't help but I had to think of Dinosaur Jr while listening. Is there a bass or is it just buried in the mix? I dig the left/right panned vocals. I'd like to hear the drums a bit more prominent and the vocals not that much in the front. Maybe the use of compression on vocals and (slightly) on the master would glue it all more together.

The Craic Pipers:
I like the build up from very quiet to the start of the verse. Ah! It's in Six ate (as Camel would say ) Is it an Ocarina? That adds a bit more of that folky feel. It is a nice song with a slight Christmas vibe. Maybe it could use some chord variations.

Dead Ambassadors:
I really like this one. The verses really got me but the chorus and bridge could be a little bit stronger. Vote!

The Freezing Hands:
I am not much into Talking Heads / David Byrne – but the way it is sung really pushed my brain into this direction. (Oh! I just read jb felt the same.) Wavy guitars, nice 80s vibe. Not bad but maybe a bit too long.

heine:
I really like the dynamics between the softer and heavier parts. I put the chorus into the softer parts – maybe that's too unusual? The heavier verses could be better regarding the metric. But overall I really like it.

Jim of Seattle:
As soon as the piano set in it grabbed my attention. So, my first listen was from start to finish! Well done! Very nice how it develops from the starting figure into all the variations. Are you studying piano? – I am neither a piano guy nor am I a jazz lover but I really think this is great. This is art! You sure have my vote.

Johnny Cashpoint:
This is a grower. I needed some time. But now I like it. Especially the chorus and the surprising end. The guitar noises add a nice color.

The Mellfire Trifecta:
This is a grower, too. Interesting drum beat. Drums, guitar and overall in some places it feels a bit like an early Jethro Tull song to me. Cool, there's some phasing! Nice harmony vocals.

Pigfarmer Jr:
A new guitar?! The strings sound so new and clear. A nice little song, well built-up. Well sung and well recorded. I like it.

The Rogue Fedoras:
Is the guitar a sample? The keyboard sounds add a spooky atmosphere. The vocals are a bit too prominent, same as with Chrome Sandwich.

Yaks of the Industry:
It has some strong melodies. The drums could be a bit more straight forward and less break-y. Is this a vocoder? Not a huge fan of vocoder sounds but this comes slightly and is okay for me. It fits into this kind of genre. I really like the synth solo. As jb already wrote the song would benefit from some quieter dynamics in-between. But after all it is a solid, well-produced song.

[MellyP]

The Craic Pipers
I like the slow start with the bells and the build. It’s a compelling intro. The piano chords add a nice full feel. As always with your stuff, it’s strong vocals and good melodies. I kind of wanted to have the first verses finished a bit sooner and on to something else. At about the halfway mark the extended solo is nice, and the chord changes here are welcome. A very pretty song. Lyrically it didn’t grab me as much as I’d have liked but mood-wise I really enjoyed it.

Heine
The guitar playing and tone choices here are perfect. You rhymed “understand” with “end” and make it work well and that’s amazing! I like “Some words are too big and some are too small, some miss their goal, do nothing at all.” That’s really good stuff. I did wish more could have been revealed about the relationship and the problems in it, but I know that not every song spells it all out for you.

Chrome Sandwich
First off, I’m really interested in your mix. Sometimes I’m tempted to put the vocals out left-right but then I struggle with where to put the guitars in a way that pleases my ears. In this case, (I think) the vocals and guitars are both out quite wide, but they don’t compete much with each other. It’s good. I like the song too, and love the solo. Would be better a little shorter because it gets a tad repetitive. If it hit me quicker and left me wanting more I would be more satisfied – like a DQ Blizzard that I love so much, but is gone so quickly. I eat it just slow enough to avoid the brain freeze. Nice job.

Johnny Cashpoint
The best aspect is the way you have starts and stops – contrast as you lurch from a good plodding verse to an interesting and slower chorus. This is clever, as I imagine the driving (plodding) leads into the the sliding. Also like the little guitar touches here and there. My favorite of your songs so far.

The Freezing Hands
It’s an energetic 80’s type sound you put together. I have my good headphones on and can’t make out some of the words some at the start. I like the verses more than the chorus. Maybe it would be better if one of the two vocal parts dominated the other in that chorus. I’d choose to focus on the one with the sustained notes and lower the level of the other to punctuate. That’s maybe just me. The entire song feels a bit long. Less would be more. I sound like I’m complaining a lot but really, I think maybe your song got me engaged, and I feel it has a lot of potential to be even better.

Pigfarmer Jr.
A smooth acoustic beauty here. Vocal sits perfectly in the mix. Nice bass tone. Prettiest booty call related song I’ve ever heard! (I know it was about more than that.) Very relatable lyrics and interesting story. Strong melody and good singing too. This song demands more listens. Well done.

Dead Ambassadors
The singer sounds similar to the guy who..... but this is a very different tune. Guitar and bass are a great team here on a busy, efficient, fast-moving arrangement. I didn’t get into the bridge as much as the rest of it, but I still really liked this one. Good playing and a second quality entry in one week.

Jim of Seattle
I was lost, as you didn’t post your lyrics. Seriously though…I liked just about everything about this one. How many tracks were used? I tried to count. Three without the spoken word track is my guess. I do love your playing. Only quibble for me comes at the end, where I would have liked it more without the spoken word part reentering, because it jarred me out of my breezy state. This is unique and enjoyable.

The Mellfire Trifecta
Put this together without doing an acoustic demo first (or even short, section-demos I record on my phone as I go) – unusual for me. Tried hard to match sometimes harsh guitar tones with the lyrical content. Put the percussion up in the mix to add urgency and I liked our bass player’s work. I’m happy with how it came out.

The Rogue Fedoras
It’s an interesting repeating guitar part and I like the road trip theme – dangerous road trip. I think it’s a bit happy sounding at times considering the impending danger. If you changed that it would go a long way for me.

Yaks of the Industry
The harmonies in the chorus are my highlight. Would like to have a quiet and/or slow part to provide the needed break from that beat, though it’s a good beat. I like the squealing tires in the night part of lyric too. Good job.

[rone rivendale]

I understand the criticism about it sounding too happy, I've heard it on here and in PM too. However if you read the lyrics it's supposed to be not just about the dangerous trip home but what is going to 'happen' when he gets there. (he's rushing home to make love to his wife). I always appreciate reviews and feedback though. And about the riff btw, it's not a sample it's an AI generated track with my specific inputs to create it. I still have to give the fight a listen before I can post reviews myself, a certain someone isn't in this fight so I shouldn't have to worry about giving honest reviews without getting cursed out lol.

[sleepysilverdoor]

There's no need for passive aggressiveness about whether or not "a certain someone" is here. Write reviews and as long as you're at least trying to be constructive the effort is extremely appreciated. Sometimes people get butthurt and that just happens. And if you get cussed out...well, that mainly makes the person cussing you out look like a bad sport. Music reviews need some level of honestly and confrontation otherwise they're just meaningless fluff and ego stroking.

[Heine]

Music reviews need some level of honestly and confrontation otherwise they're just meaningless fluff and ego stroking.

Well said!

I'm highly interested in how I can improve my tracks (arranging/playing/mixing...). Open for any suggestions.
That's why I'm here!

[Jim of Seattle]

WHY I AM NOT WRITING REVIEWS

I used to think writing reviews was the funnest part of SF, and I enjoyed really thinking hard about everyone's entries, and it was a process I loved because I was really mostly doing it for myself, to add to my never ending mental list of musical ideas that work or don't work and why. I'm a hoarder that way.

However, since my reviews were so much about this internal process, I far too often said things that were way off if they were interpreted by anyone else. So I stepped on a lot of toes, and I've felt really bad about that ever since. (It was also the dawn of social media and people weren't quite as clued in to its pitfalls yet back then.) But even when I realized that, I found that I still couldn't really write reviews that I was certain would be useful because I simply didn't know the context. I've come to realize that one can't judge a song without some of that. Of course, getting to know people on the forums helps, but often not enough, and plenty of entries are not represented on the forums anyway.

So, short of initiating a whole new thing wherein anyone who submits a song needs to come on here and tell everyone what they explicitly do or don't want to know about the song, I don't see any way of knowing this vital context, and I don't want to piss anybody off or offer unneeded suggestions or be generally way off. So I am thinking I'm not going to write them.

All that said, I am more than happy to offer my opinion on something if I feel like I have at least some idea what the submitter is hoping to know.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

... if I feel like I have at least some idea what the submitter is hoping to know.

tl;dr Just be as kind as possible while being honest and the reviews will be useful.

I just say what I think or feel. As long as the intention seems sincere and the review is honest feedback then the value is that the artist gets to hear how his/her/their work was received.

Recently I purposefully started leaning in a less popular direction that I'm not as good at producing so I can get better. If it doesn't work for someone, and they aren't being a jerk about it, then the negative parts of the reviews are the most helpful. Obviously, the positive ones help keep me going. But honestly, if I can succeed in making music for myself then the rest of y'all's opinions are nearly superfluous.

[rone rivendale]

Chrome
This tells a good story. Musically can't find any fault. Just a solid song. Vote.

Craic
Not a fan of the long instrumental in the middle (just a taste thing), think this could have been a little over 3 minutes and it would have been a little better. Still enjoyed it for what it was.

Dead
Love the guitar a lot. The whole vibe is vintage rock and I'm here for it. Vote.

Hands
Too long, too repetitive. The backing track is fine, no problems there. But I don't like the vocal style. This is another song that 3 minutes would have worked better for.

Heine
Nice backing track, very smooth vocals. The song ran by before I knew it. Vote.

Jim
You always have such a unique style. I remember when you did Welcome to Windows and I was blown away by your creativity. I was a little scared at the beginning by the repetitive use of the title but the piano music following it was nice. Even though I really like it, I don't think I can vote for it because SF doesn't usually allow instrumentals to win and all you did was say the title and play beautiful music and repeat title at end. Sorry. lol

J$
You're the the one who cursed me out for my last review of your song. So here's your review.

Melfire
Vocals are slightly hard to hear in the mix. Otherwise very good. Vote

Pigfarmer Jr.
Your songs always hit the spot for me. Beautiful voice and great guitar. Lyrics tell a good story. Rivals Chrome Sandwich for best song on the fight. Vote.

Yaks
I'm being transported to the best part of the 80s. Synths are cool, vocals are edited just right for the feel of the song. Vote


Overall this was a great fight, there wasn't a single song I hated. You could find reasons to vote every single one if you tried hard enough.

[Jim of Seattle]

Jim
You always have such a unique style. I remember when you did Welcome to Windows and I was blown away by your creativity. I was a little scared at the beginning by the repetitive use of the title but the piano music following it was nice. Even though I really like it, I don't think I can vote for it because SF doesn't usually allow instrumentals to win and all you did was say the title and play beautiful music and repeat title at end. Sorry. lol

OK, there is no rule about SF "not allowing" instrumentals. What they don't allow is songs that were not written in the time allotted based on the title given. I am using the title just like everyone else, thus proving it followed the rules, but I'm using the title in a different way. Nothing in the rules says anything about instrumentals or in how the title is used.

... And if you're about to (as others have) try to point out that it's called SONG fight, therefore somehow disqualifying instrumentals (though there is no definitive definition of what is a "song" anyway - many consider lyrics with no music a "song"), I would counter by pointing out that it is called song FIGHT, and yet no actual fighting is taking place. So there you have it.

And I was amusedly bemused by your use of the phrase "and all you did was...". As if somehow singing all on the same note (or hell, even speaking in rhythm) the words:
I won't let you go
Baby dont'cha know
Drive through ice and snow
Before I'd let you go
Vo de oh doh doh
Baby cakes

... requires some greater degree of effort and/or dedication to the craft. Come on.

[Heine]

Chrome Sandwich's chorus stuck in my head for a week, now. That really was worth a vote! Great hook!

[MellyP]

Agree with you Heine, and also liked the Freezing Hands' entry a lot, among others.

[Jim of Seattle]

OK, I'm finished with I Won't Let You Go. This is the Director's Cut. As mentioned earlier, I wasn't totally done with it at the deadline. All around better and more what I envisioned from the start.
https://jimofseattle.s3.amazonaws.com/S ... s+Cut).mp3

[Lunkhead]

I'm listening on my laptop and going to jot down some thoughts. Enjoy?!

Chrome Sandwich:
Starting with the chorus/hook is cool. The instruments sound good. I like the straight rock vibe. I think your vocals are too prominent in the mix. I think they could use some tightening up, pitch wise, between the multiple vocal tracks. The brief interlude between verse one and verse two feels like it could have used a melodic melody. I originally expected it to be a pre-chorus so it felt anti-climactic when the next thing was verse two. The band sounds a little thin to me when the rhythm guitar on one side switches to soloing. Judging from the drums I'm guessing the instruments weren't recorded live all together? If not it would have been cool to have the solo come in as a new track, centered, while the rhythm guitar on the side kept playing rhythm. Anyway, production notes aside, it's a fun song, I like the lyrics and the melodies, and the main hook is very catchy.

The Craic Pipers:
This is one of my favorites of the fight. It really hits for me, mood and tone and lyrics wise. For f's sake though, that acoustic guitar sound is awful. Please re-record it with a mic instead of plugged in, if that's what it was. I guess the sound of it with the bit of chorus on it sort of fits the vibe but it sounds so cheap compared to the richness of the other instruments. You even managed to make the fake strings and horns sound pretty good, which is a feat. They're arranged really well. I think it would have been cool to have a big layered vocal part come in for the outro or something. I think the vocal could have overall played a bigger role, I guess. But anyway, good stuff.

Dead Ambassadors:
I'm digging the rocking. The chorus hook is cool, although I feel like maybe the vocal could use more intensity in the delivery of "Wheels on ice" but maybe I'm just imagining a soprano metal vocalist really belting this out Iron Maiden style, haha. The bridge feels a little lower in intensity than the rest of the song, it could have used something, maybe a new instrument coming in, to punch it up a bit. Good rocking song though.

The Freezing Hands:
You've got a good groove going to start. The drums are a bit repetitive and lacking in dynamic variation. Maybe if they're going to be so obviously programmed using more of an obvious drum machine sound, like an 80s drum machine, would work better. Or maybe if you're going to use acoustic drum samples through in a tiny bit of variety sooner on, like even just a super duper simple fill (snare hits on 4-and) or a cymbal crash etc. When they do change it's welcome. The biggest challenge for me is your vocal. It starts off on pretty shaky ground right when it comes in. It's really important to me as a listener that the vocal starts off solid and on pitch, otherwise I get worried about whether I can make it through the song. The pitch gets better but then the phrasing gets too loose for me. You've also got a good solid hook with the "I've got wheels on ice" part. The "I've got" backing vocal though has serious pitch issues. It doesn't blend well with the main vocals in the mix, maybe that could have been doubled with the two versions panned to the sides and a bit lower in the mix. I think overall it's too long, I think it could benefit from being tightened up to shave 1:30 off it.

heine:
This sounds great to start. The drum parts are nice, good fill leading into the verse. Yeah, rock! I really enjoy that dynamic change in the chorus. The band gets so intense I think the vocals could stand to have some more intensity. Also the phrasing sounds a little awkward or uneven or unsteady or unsure or something. You could stand to sound more confident of how your phrasing the chorus lyrics. Good solo, yeah! This is also a favorite for me of the fight.

Jim of Seattle:
I'm happy to see you back! I really enjoyed this. It's a bit outside my area of expertise to feel like I have much meaningful in the way of observations. Very well composed and played. I enjoyed the journey of it too. Please don't let any instrumental-naysayers discourage you, I at least would be happy to hear more music like this in Song Fight.

Johnny Cashpoint:
This is some better than average j$ for my ears. You've also got a good "wheels on ice" hook. I like that you're not singing straight quarter notes or eighth notes, you've got held out notes and syncopation, it's cool. I also like the textures and melodies in the instrumental sections. The bass is really great. It's a good overall coherent song, the music and the story all fit together and support each other.

The Mellfire Trifecta:
I like the rhythms, I can't tell what the initial intro is but the second part feels like it's an odd meter even though it's 4/4 which is cool. I think your vocals could actually stand to be more prominent in the mix. The "band" sounds great, I'm into the drums and bass and guitars, it's all gelling well. This is another song where the drums parts are not always very realistic so maybe a drum machine sound could have worked. Oh, this is nearing the end already. I like that it seems more or less through composed. The "ice" vocal section sounds great. It's hard for me to make out the megaphone vocal late in the song, that could have been louder. Cool song!

Pigfarmer Jr:
You are a very productive songwriter. I envy your ability to get 'em done. This one isn't speaking to me as much as the other one. I think the drums might have sounded better half time. As they are they feel weirdly overly driving to me, like the whole thing suddenly sounds a bit mechanical with their boom-bap coming in so strongly so soon. Otherwise it's a totally fine song.

The Rogue Fedoras:
AI generated guitar riff. Weird. This feels like a sound collage more than coherent music. You could stand to mix up your vocal phrasing more, less singing straight eighth notes. Your delivery sounds a little over exaggerated. I don't know, maybe it would work better for me if you did more of a spoken word thing and less of a speak singing thing. Overall this one unfortunately didn't land for me.

Yaks of the Industry:
I'm very happy with this and how it came out. It's the first Yaks song where I contributed the music. Usually I just sprinkle in some 80's tom toms and other miscellany. I wasn't sure if I could write the music and still have it sound like Yaks but once JB took over he worked his alchemy to make Yaks gold out of it. I did originally have half time drums in the bridge in my original drum track, but JB's drums sounded so good to me that I didn't think about the song needing a change-up in vibe. I love how JB chopped up Mo's guitar track, particularly in the solo before the final chorus.

[Lunkhead]

Jim of Seattle glides to victory. Not bad for a mostly instrumental song!