The out of tune vocals are (Your Undoing reviews)

[Lunkhead]

Post your reviews here and your lyrics in this other thread:

viewtopic.php?t=12600

[Lunkhead]

Songs posted!

[MellyP]

Anyone else going to review? Just review your way. Doesn't have to be an super-informed, insightful masterpiece. My reviews certainly aren't. Anyway, thx for these tunes. I’ll be voting for a higher number of them this time cos there was much to like.

Add
That is some kind of super intro with the buzzy bass and the playful piano line. A great lead vocal – this fight offers many of them -- though maybe it's a bit quiet in the mix in the first verse, with the bass too high. Nice guitarpeggios now. The drums would kick in a couple of bars earlier if I’m in charge of that decision (I’m not). I do like that the first drum-less sections works just as well and provides variety. And then you add some sustained and fuller sounds to finish this off. You put thought into this arrangement. It is a fun listen.

Berkeley Social Scene
There is some tuning problem (a sharp guitar?) but otherwise I think this is super solid and I like the emotion coming through in the vocal. It’s different from your typical entries in some ways. This is a particularly nice mix. Everything in its proper place. Entertaining throughout!

Chthonic Youth
The school of hard rocks! This is unique. Good harmony vocals, used sparingly and strategically. The main vocal isn’t muffled, but it’s sort of far away and unconnected to the rest of what’s going on – that may be your intention, but for me it was a tad distracting. I like the melodies and little guitar riffs. The lyrics fit the tone well. Nice work.

Phlub
This is an excellent intro riff. The vocal is just perfect, as are your instrument choices. You seamlessly combined a rootsy mandolin(?) sound with the structured, sort of pounding/plodding arrangement. Our undoing never sounded so good.

Robyn Mackenzie
This is a real departure from your typical – the songs I’ve heard. Sparse and moody. I like the vocal – did you slightly autotune – either way I like how it comes across for this style of tune. Great line “your hunger will be your undoing” and delivery also great. I might suggest a less breezy vocal delivery now that I think about the lyrical theme but thanks, I enjoyed this.

Sumner Sloane
This is highly melodic and heads in unexpected and rewarding directions. The vocals and doubled vocals shine, though levels vary distractingly throughout. I particularly respect the chords in the verses. I wanted the song to be more polished and have fewer timing issues but it also has charm for being a bit shambolic too. I disagree with the choice to fade out. I think it needs a nice hard finish. On the whole, the song is great, and I’d love to hear it after you went into a studio and had all the time in the world to perfect it.

The Mellfire Trifecta
High water levels near freshwater lakes can be a thing. No municipality really knows how to handle it – or if they should be responsible when a property that was above ground for decades just isn’t anymore. Then there’s red tape when people want to try to protect their cottage/home…. That was the spark to writing this one.

[sleepysilverdoor]

Oh I'm gonna do them. Just finishing FAWM first.

Anyway, instrumentation is: 5 string bass, mandocello, mandolin, drums. just got the mandocello and it's so awesome!

[MellyP]

Oh I'm gonna do them. Just finishing FAWM first.

Excellent

Anyway, instrumentation is: 5 string bass, mandocello, mandolin, drums. just got the mandocello and it's so awesome!

(Googles "What is a mandocello?")... Looks like a cool instrument! It is a nice little quartet you had going there.

[sleepysilverdoor]

(Googles "What is a mandocello?")... Looks like a cool instrument! It is a nice little quartet you had going there.

Everybody should get one! I found out they existed last summer and immediately agreed with my wife that we would not buy each other Christmas or birthday presents and instead save the money and slurge on this. https://goldtonemusicgroup.com/goldtone ... mandocello

I've found that the bridge pickup isn't the greatest for strumming, as you get *way* too much attack from the pick and strings (I mean it's a giant mandolin afterall). But if you use the neck pickup or just mic it, it works great as a really thick and lush sounding instruments that functions much like a baritone guitar but with wider chord voicings due to the tuning being in fifths (CGDA). The bridge pickup is great if arpeggios and tremolo picking are what you're after though

[sleepysilverdoor]

Add: I like the chord progression you’ve got going on. Switches up enough to keep my interest peaked. Those harmonies and that ascending melody in the verse is pretty sweet. The bass sits in the mix weirdly…too much fuzz/compression? Or maybe it’s just too loud. Kind of wish it had more energy in the chorus. The drums coming in is a nice change of pace, though the introduction could use a fill or something going into it. Still appreciate how it slowly builds as the song goes on. I feel like song would maintain interest better if the “your heart will be your undoing” was only repeated once per chorus except for maybe in the final chorus. The guitar solo was a welcome change of dynamic.

Berkeley Social Scene: I’m a sucker for triple time. I’m not so much a sucker of different guitar tracks being this hard panned, but I wouldn’t even notice if I didn’t have headphones. Is that a phaser or a gentle wah on the guitar? It sounds good. Melody isn’t really grabbing me much, but I dig the overall vibe of this song. I’m not sure exactly what to say about it, cause I know you can do a compelling melody from experience…just not feeling this one. Mix is clean. Uhh…trying to find more things constructive to say. I’m enjoying the dual guitar attack, seriously, I just wish it wasn’t in such a wide stereo field lol. Good length for what it is.

Chthonic Youth: Oh man, this is a lot more my style. Is that feedback or a synth, how are you getting that chonky ass guitar tone? I’m turning it up so I can bask in the fuzz. Ahhh, wall of fuzz, tickling my ear drum. This reminds me a lot of some of the stuff that I’d play whenever I’d work college radio and just sit there and enjoy the college radio vibes. This is heavy college radio music in a way that I really like. Your vocal performance gets more confident as the song goes on, I can tell when you’re really getting into the physicality of the song. I don’t think it’ll get stuck in my head, but I’m also not sure it’s the sort of song where that is the point.

The Mellfire Trifecta: What is this about exactly? I saw you saying something about freshwater flooding – kind of my line of work. I’m curious which flood this is referencing! We had a couple people drown in the high waters of the Flint River in GA over the past couple weeks, with the dam having to cut flows for a bit so the first responders could fish them out. These are terrific harmonies, and it has a pep to it that has been largely missing this fight. There’s a bit of a volume spike in the vocals in the bridge that starts around 149, maybe it’s the backing vocals coming in too hot, I dunno. I like the little instrumental melody that guides the song into the outro/final verse. Yeah this was a good tune!

Phlub: It’s me. The instrumentation here is mandocello, mandolin, 5 string bass, and drums. I’m amazed at how thick of a sound you can get without the slightest bit of distortion with that combo. Vocal effect is layering a pitch corrected version of the vocal track on top of the original to create a “choral” sound. It’s about hydrocarbon byproducts and how they’re basically the compressed remnants of the prehistoric world. This was song #10 I think for FAWM.

Robyn Mackenzie: The opening drum fill makes me think of Electronik Supersonik GREETINGS FROM MOLVANIA but then the rest of the song comes it. While I don’t totally love this brand of electropop, I’ll give you a lot of points for having the strongest melodies of the fight. Those octave jumps in the back half are dope! This is probably reflective of my listening habits lately, but this with a much more acoustic, folksy arrangement and a gently swinging rhythm would fit the lyrics and subject matter. As it stands, the kind of heavy subject matter and lyrics don’t like…match the genre? Or something? Heck give it a lap steel, maybe a fiddle. Or turn it into some grungy butt rock. I don’t know, but there’s goodness here.

Sumner Sloane: Your virtual drummer is smacking the crap out of those drums, but the guitars sound relatively restrained haha. Maybe the guitars need more treble and slightly less fuzz, maybe a dash of reverb to sit better in the mix with the drums? Or heck maybe just an amp simulator plugin may resolve that complaint. The chorus is pretty decent. I would like a rhythmic switch up to really bring the listener into that SASS, that talk of wanting to watch my undoing. I’m confused by the unevenness of the automation on the fadeout…it kind of goes down, then…up…then down again…slowly…okay it’s gone. Yeah this was alright, didn’t grab me, but was alright. Needs that special sauce that i can’t quite put my name on.

[robynmackenzie]

Add: I wasn’t sure I was sold on the intro, but once the vocals came in I was hooked. I think I’d like the drums to come in a little earlier, but overall I really like this.

Berkeley Social Scene: Really strong lyrics. The chorus is particularly powerful. The music is lingering in my head after listening and walking away for a few minutes, that’s a very good thing!

Chthonic Youth: Big wall of sound here. I’d actually kind of like it to be less busy throughout the song. Not that it needs to be quieter, maybe just some more contrast between the dynamics of the verses and chorus.

The Mellfire Trifecta: This is much more upbeat than I expected from reading the lyrics. I like it. Those harmonies on the chorus are killer. The line about inheritance and politicians is great.

Phlub: Some serious dreamy indie goodness here. I think this might be my favorite of all I’ve heard from you. “I got the past inside my pocket today” – brilliant.

Robyn Mackenzie: I didn’t like this when I wrote/submitted it. It’s grown on me since then. I agree that the vocals are maybe too light/not strong enough–I recorded them in a bathroom trying not to wake people up. Maybe I’ll redo them. Maybe I won’t.

Sumner Sloane: I enjoyed this now just as much as I did when I heard it on FAWM. There’s a bit of a retro edge here. I also really like the direction you took the lyrics.

[Jefff]

Thanks for reviews. Here are some comments from me. They're all positive, sorry.

Berkeley Social Scene: Strong chorus. I like that extra repetition of the chords after the vocals are done. Nice harmonies too.

Chthonic Youth: I like hot drums. I dig the whole vibe of the arrangement, especially that guitar line that kind of responds to the vocal in the refrain.

The Mellfire Trifecta: I like the feel. A foot tapper for sure. There are a lot of great little flutters in the vocal.

Phlub: Yeah, these instruments are a good match for the song. Great harmonies in the "asteroid" part.

Robyn Mackenzie: Good concept that gives you a nice lyrical kicker in the chorus. Love that little octave jump vocal part.

Sumner Sloane: Catchy chorus. The "ah-ah-ah"s kept coming back to me after each time I listened to the fight.

[Lunkhead]

We're doing a rare triple tie between Add, Berkeley Social Scene, and Robyn Mackenzie. Whoa!

[sleepysilverdoor]

This has got to be some kind of record for lowest standard deviation in terms of vote count distribution!

To save folks a click:
#1 was Robyn and Add and BSS with 7 votes
#2 was Phlub and Mellfire Trifecta with 6 votes
#3 was Chthonic Youth and Sumner Sloane with 5 votes.

If I had more free time I'd comb through the archive and see what the most evenly split fights were.
Excluding "Pray for Texas" for the obvious fact that it's a tie by default with only 2 entries due to the mandatory 2 vote rule.

Some admin with access to the site database could probably script it in a manner that doesn't involve scraping the archive webpage 998 times though, but I'm not gonna demand Fluffy drop what she's doing to satisfy my curiosity lol.

[ujnhunter]

So you're saying that this may be the one time that it's okay to be a loser?

[sleepysilverdoor]

Nobody truly lost, is my interpretation of the numbers!

[Geech]

I wanted to submit this earlier, but alas.

Add - A slow burn with a build and drawn out melody. It starts with kind of a goofy umpah-loompah baseline that continues to turn me off, but then comes the warm and inviting vocal with its harmony. Your voice reminds me of Alan Sparhawk of Low, whom I love. I really like the way the you bring in additional instruments - the guitar and piano (I think?) in the first chorus and the drums in the second verse. The guitar solo is nice, as are the little notes in the last chorus. This is a good song. It has hooks, it's memorable and I dig it.

BSS - Live recording of Ken on flange guitar, Glen on regular guitar, Martin on bass and me on drums. We wrote the music and recorded it in one evening. There was some editing in post, but there are no overdubs. No classic overdubbed Glenny guitar solo. I wrote the lyrics and put vocals down after we recorded basics. I mixed. A reason I like this is because it's really just the four of us playing live with some singing on top. And except for the modest vocal harmonies on half the lines of the chorus, there are no other vocal parts. The lyrics are about a corrupt community leader or politician who, in the end, is being prosecuted for crimes, kinda pushed originally by his top lieutenant, who is walking away from the dumpster fire of what's resulted and singing this tune.

Chtonic Youth - A real Flaming Lips kinda sound with the big distorted drums and big psych and crunch guitars. The vocals push the edge of in-tuneness a bit. Lyrics seem awkwardly phrased at times. The vibe is cool, but I have a hard time finding the hooks of this song and don't find it very memorable.

The Mellfire Trio - A spare sound, short and sweet. Cool to add the bass and keys when the verse starts. I like the "ahh" background vocals a lot. Not enough of that kinda thing in SongFight. The descending patterns in the chorus are nice. Your vocals are generally pretty straight-forward except for the end of the chorus, where you go up instead of descend and get fancy. I kinda feel that you should have repeated the basic melody of the chorus in the last line, at least for the first chorus. You know, establish it strong before you deviate. I like the bridge breakdown with the handclaps. The solo - is that a cello? - should be louder. I wish you went back to the chorus at the end. Overall I dig this. It's deceptively interesting. I mean, at first, it seems basic, but there is some real complexity and depth in here.

Phlub - I like the way this begins, I like the unpolished vibe and I like acoustic instruments with live drums, but I have a hard time finding the hooks. Vocals are kinda flat sounding with mostly one-note melodies. There is a robotic quality to them and they get tedious. I like the tom drum fills in the chorus. The harmonies right at the end I dig. Overall, I don't find this very memorable.

Robyn Mackenzie - Very early 80s sounding. I wish your vocal was louder, more aggressive and more consistent. Your singing style is coffeehouse but I want it to take me to the dance floor. I want it more compressed and in your face. I like the chorus, I wish it were bigger. I imagine this as a dance jam and it's not quite there. Your octave jumps ("paradise", etc.) are engaging but I don't think you really pull them off. Your vocal rhythms sometimes are off, early or late. But I like the chorus and the keys you add under there. Overall, I like it, there are some nice hooks in the pre-chorus and chorus, but I'd say the production isn't quite realized.

Summer Sloane - Basic guitar indie rock with straight-forward half nerd/half laid back dude vocals. This song has some hooks. I want the vocals more upfront. I like the post-chorus / bridge section best ("I want to win that way") best. The vibe is a nice change, you have the guitars doing different things finally the last time you do this. It's hooky and memorable. And in the end, you repeat it to drive it home. I long for more variation sonically in this song, especially from verse to chorus. There seem to be two guitars left and right, but they are basically the same chunky chords, except the last post-chorus / bridge where one plays arpeggios. Overall, I think this song is decent. It has good bones.