Songs are rated on the 20 point iron chef scale, 5 points each for plating and originality in the use of the theme ingredient, 10 points for flavor.
Thank Glenny: You did a really, really good job with the lyrics and vocal metre on this song. Even if the words and themes themselves aren't great, coming at the title from an angle was exactly the correct strategy.
Plating: 4 points - the mix, mostly the acoustic, is a little muddy. i think cleaning up the bass on the acoustic and the bass itself would have made this tune really pop. But that's a nit, overall this sounds really decent.
Use of the theme: 5 points - perfect. exceptional lack of use of a crappy title, while retaining the concept and
idea of the title. the listener can know the title and draw straight lines from the imagery back to it. top notch. if everyone in songfight paid this much attention to the art of songwriting, i'd never listen to anything else.
Flavah: 6 points - as much as i like the concept of this song, it's very up-and-down in lyrical quality. you have a giant sort of dead spot in that second verse (or maybe it's the first verse, if the song starts with a chorus) that lets the whole deal down a bit.
total: 15 points
BLT: This song had a lot of potential but was also very sloppy.
Plating: 3 points - There's just too much guitar here, trying to do too much. The bass is only audible as stringy attack notes, and the clean guitar has a weird pastiche all over it. Maybe it's hard for guitarists to record something cool and then let it stay the f out of the way of the rest of the tune, but I think that's what needs to happen here. Also, maybe it's my ears, but is the vocal line adjusted well left in the mix? It sounds like the attack is panned left and then the echos are centered? Disturbing.
Use of the theme: 3 points - another good use of not actually singing the crappy title. these lyrics don't quite pop out at me, but what i can make sense of has a good flow.
Flavah: 5 points - the mix is so up-and-down, it's hard to stay with the song. there's places where it's really decent, and places where it just falls right down. the song itself isn't much beyond a decent 70's floyd clone, and that's just fine. i think the very best this could be is something i'd have really like in 1984.
total: 11 points
Carpetburn I'd call this one "Carpetburn-by-the-numbers." You guys have a decent and distinctive sound and I don't think this strays much from the charter. the problem i have with this tune is that it's waaay too long.
Plating: 4 points - there's some dicking around off-mic in the beginning, and the vox are a little papery. you've got some plosive action going on as well. on the flip side, i love the guitar mix when it switches into the second part.
Theme: 4 points - worked the title in without too much histrionics, and thematically it fit. i don't understand why you went back to that chorus sooo many times. there wasn't anything superawesome enough in the tune to justify the length.
Flavah: 5 points - a well-conceived and executed dish, but way too much of it.
total: 13 points
Spinlock I'm just not a fan of earnest, humorless piano tunes.
Plating: 3 points - no complaints on the mix. not much too it, tho. certainly nothing stands out one way or the other.
Theme: 0 points - terrible, obvious lyrics. hippie pablum.
Flavah: 1 point - in the moments when you sound a little less like the Posies or some hair metal ovation ballad band of the '90's, this is forgivable. most of the time, it is not.
total: 4 points
Wes Davis / Pipefist this is one of those tunes with some potential but the overwhelming feel of having been thrown together.
Plating: 2 points - that reverby piano drives me nuts. the guitar sounds like it's well recorded, but it's overwhelmed. i can only barely make out the drums. why are your rythmic elements buried under what's really a pretty lame melody part? it makes no sense.
Theme: 2 points - the lyrics are terrible.
Flavah: 5 points - that chorus has some snap to it, but lord the lyrics are awful, nothing i'd ever want to sing or even repeat mentally. it's cool that you take chances, vocally, even when you don't pull it off. i think if you took some of the lounge edge off of this tune - does it really need to swing? - you could sell it a little more thoroughly. this scored 5 points for the humor value of the genre choice alone.
total: 9 points
C Hack cool little short, swingin' tune
Plating: 3 points - sparse as it is, are you sure you couldn't afford any kind of second instrument line in there? this reads like a mic check.
Theme: 5 points - that heavy vocal melody and the caustic, slacker delivery make this really choice.
Flavah: 7 points - this is more of a demo than a song, but this is more of a songfight than a recording contract, so good on ya.
extra credit: cursing, 2 points
total: 15 points
Spinning Merkaba really hard to listen to, not much going on. typical songfight protogoth/industrial.
Plating: 0 points - this mix is unlistenable. the guitar is a mosquito-y buzz, everything is muffled, the vocals keep moving in and out.
Theme: 0 points - our television sets are mind control? an age of globalization? adolescent.
Flavah: 1 point - repetitive garbage, mostly. 1 point because you didn't rap.
total: 1 point
Jolly Rodger you need to throw away your entire recording process and start over.
Plating: 0 points - but you knew that.
that kind of guitar sound is never going to turn anyone on to the song. it's all scooped and nasty, hollow and annoying. if you're going to do guitar-metal, at least do some extra tracks so it's not buried in the back of one speaker.
Theme: 0 points - "now i don't know where to go, because you're just a gray rainbow." classic zero-effort title insertion.
Flavah: 3 points - that rocking breakdown does actually rock.
total: 3 points
Hipwrecked freaky, weird, and mostly very sweet tune, completely losing all charm halfway through and not giving a shit.
Plating: 4 points - no complaints on the mix, and the arrangement bitches are probably pretty obvious. this is some whacky suite of three songs. this might actually be art - i'm not 100% convinced, but i won't argue against it, either.
Theme: 4 points - more hippie bullshit, but it comes off as self-mocking, which is fine by me. excellent sideways use of the title.
Flavah: 8 points - i wouldn't download this or listen to it again, but i can imagine a band i like doing something like this for giggles. it has the feel of ben folds' fear of pop project, for instance. i'm not sure it's a good "song," but it's a fun listen and way above the waterline for songfight.
total: 14 points
Cranial Biffida this was really done and listenable, even for a 100% by-the-numbers genre piece.
Plating: 4 points - no complaints, other than it's 4 hours long and predictable from start to finish.
Theme: 3 points - if only the title was "black, dried blood encrusted rainbow covered in broken glass and forced down my throat."
Flavah: 6 points - this is still a cool song, even if i hate it. i mean, there's a lot of talent showing through. if i weren't raised a redneck, maybe i'd let it into my heart. a little.
total: 13 points
Signboy meh
Plating: 2 points - nothing sounds terrible, but it all sounds 100% canned.
Theme: 2 points - this has more of that "write a tune, insert the title" feel to it.
Flavah: 2 points - this is 1980's 4-track material. you gotta bring _something_ artistic to the table somewhere. in fights this size, with at least 4 or 5 people writing good songs and putting some effort into their ideas, this just feels shat out.
total - 6 points.
Syd and Me i love that freakin' kid's vocals. they have a funky kind of joyfulness to them. this song would have fit right in on the O Brother soundtrack.
Plating: 5 points - excellent mix, excellent arrangement, excellent detuned piano, excellent muted freakin' trumpet. bringin' tears to my eyes, this attention to detail in a songfight.
Theme: 4 points - everyone who played the insert-title randomly game (klownhole excepted) should go sit in a corner and cry themselves to sleep over being shown up hard by a kid.
Flavah: 9 points - well mixed, well executed, cute little song with Songfight Approved (TM) Kid Novelty Factor. this will probably win and i won't even be grumpy about it.
total: 18 points
Queen Anthony's Lace a real letters-from-the-edge kind of tune here. freaky and fucked up, right up my alley.
Plating: 3 points - i go back and forth as to whether this arrangement is charmingly amateur or overbearingly weird.
Theme: 4 points - i love the quirky, big-city intellectualism of the lyrics, like the song is stolen right out of June Miller's diary.
Flavah: 7 points: - i would have enjoyed working on this tune. it's all crazy perverted and dripping with homo sincerity.
total: 14 points
Double Helix Trainwreck yeah well, i didn't like in the prefight, but you managed to make it worse.
Plating: 0 points - seriously, this is terrible. you really need to listen back to shit before you submit it. learn when to quit on an idea and reload for next week. (maybe you could spend a week practicing playing in tune, for instance.)
Theme: 0 points - don't even care what the lyrics are.
Flavah: 0 points - no part of this song was even 1% compelling.
total: i'm sure you can add.
Mico Saudad freaky tune, lots of ambition
Plating: 4 points - that bass drum is waaay too loud. i'm sure this was a bitch to mix. it's a neat arrangement and good performances.
Theme: 2 points - i blame the title more than your use of it, here. i think you could have found a more artful use for it.
Flavah: 7 points - there are some reeeeeeeally nice moments in this tune. i really appreciate that you went through the trouble of getting this on tape and making it all work. if you had a live band to work with who had a sense of bringing the rock, this could shine. you have a real talent for those "wow" moments in songs. submit more.
total: 13 points
MC Eric B well now that you've quit rapping you've moved on to being a poor man's Wesley Willis
total: at least Wesley was schizo, and had an excuse for this shit.
Eddie Lance well at least you didn't sing
Plating: 3 points - iiiiit's a midi piano. hot damn.
Theme: 0 points - no words? not a song.
Flavah: 1 point - look pal, you're no george goddamn winston. move on in your life.
total: 4 points
Klownhole still no mention of coulottes.
Plating: 3 points - you guys do a pretty good job of usually being in tune, even if the keyboard player doesn't know wtf key the song is in.
Theme: 5 points - this is exactly what this title deserves. and dan-o deserves.
Flavah: 5 points - mostly for the backing vox.
total: 13 points
Lyricburglar sounds like someone had a couple hours to kill one afternoon.
Plating: 3 points - MIDI demo-quality action here.
Theme: 3 points - this was kind of a surprising set of lyrics to burgle - i don't see the attraction in them, unless it's a general anti-religious agenda, in which case i'm on board.
Flavah: 2 points - the only memorable bit here is the vocals, which are a great performance.
total: 8 points
Steakhaus Kompressor rides again?
Plating: 4 points - excellent mix and driving arrangement
Theme: 3 points - i can't really tell what's going on lyrically,
and i don't care.
Flavah: 5 points - fun tune, but predictable and lost my interest after a bit. it really is a ministry rip, and, while i'm all about ripping bands off and ministry, they got boring too after a while.
total: 12 points
Sp0on slighty more accessable than usual spoon tune
Plating: 5 points - excellent mix, full of weird crap and tugging notes. reminds me a lot of old Souixie stuff. i usually hate your stuff, mostly because it's just overboard random, but the vocals pull it together. this song has a real good mix of random elements and repetition, as well.
Theme: 3 points - can't make out a single line, and that's OK with me.
Flavah: 5 points - not really a sing-along enjoyable pop tune kind of thing, but well recorded and executed and artful enough for me.
total: 13 points
Mostess man, that guitar isn't mosquito-ey.
it's ok to make it loud if it sounds good! listen to jolly's guitar. that's what i mean when i rail about terrible guitar parts. yours sounds great.
Plating: 4 points - i'm a big Dire Straits fan, and I think i get what's going on here, but it's an old and well-played genre at this point. in 1984, you would be king of people over 30 who watched Miami Vice religiously.
Theme: 3 points - i'm not in love with the lyrical theme here, but, well, it WAS a terrible title. do what ya can, i guess.
Flavah: 4 points - gotta dock it for the intro, so AOR it made me cringe and reach for the "horrible piano ballad" review template. once the song gets going, it rolls along nicely, but, overall, this feels like a genre exercise and lacks any kind of hook or pop.
total: 11 points
