Devil's in the Details (Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph d reviews)

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Rabid Garfunkel
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Devil's in the Details (Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph d reviews)

Postby Rabid Garfunkel » Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:05 pm

...it's all about the fine print.
"Urban cartoon music." -- Paco Del Stinko
Be my friend? --- Song of the Day
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Postby jackfrost » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:36 am

Hooray for everything!
Last edited by jackfrost on Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Billy's Little Trip » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:05 am

jackfrost wrote:OK. I get it. MC Wanna B is a play on MC Eric B. So this song was made to mock Eric B AND his style of music, AND what personal information he has available on his website? Someone please tell me this was a lighthearted joke that Eric was in on, and not a personal attack.

I haven't gotten to that one yet, but one thing I've noticed about Eric, is that he has a good sense of humor. So I'm sure if it's lighthearted, he'll get a laugh. :wink:
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Postby jimtyrrell » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:31 am

However he chooses to take it, I'm pretty unimpressed.

MC Wanna B: If you have a problem with the songs the dude submits, submitting the same type of thing (laced with personal unpleasantries) certainly isn't going to win any arguments, and only makes worse the original problem. You can't even say I'm taking your song too seriously, else you shouldn't have taken the target of your ire so seriously either.

Should I be seeing this differently? 'Cause the way it looks to me, MC Wanna B, you're an ass. Feel free to change my mind on the subject, 'cause it's not how I like to feel about people (or songs).

I'll review the other songs when I get to listen to 'em.
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MC Wanna B

Postby MC Eric B » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:41 am

I like the MC Wanna B song. I am not sure who he is, but I would rather be made fun of than ignored, so it is fine with me. At least that means people are listening.
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Postby jimtyrrell » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:43 am

Glad you see it that way then. I still think it's a punk-ass move. Musical trolling.
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Postby Billy's Little Trip » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:58 am

Ouch, I just listened to it. It was funny though. Glad you're cool with it Eric.

At least that means people are listening

touche
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Postby Geoff WreckdoM » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:03 pm

Caravan Ray- Uh oh, Ray’s guitar is channeling the B-52’s again, fetch my exorcism tongs. I like the snappy tone but the song as a whole feels like maybe it should be a lot dirtier so maybe a guitar tone that’s a little less sharp would’ve worked better. Nice vocal inflections during the lyrics and love the screaming, you know, I dig it when people aren’t afraid to sound absolutely ridiculous.

DJ Fizzle and MC Shweaty- So, are you promoting yourself while criticizing self promotion? Well, whatever you’re going for you blew it, this is immediately boring and uninteresting. Your rhymes suck, you didn’t have enough here to fill one minute, let alone 3. You fizzled out, get it?

Doorite- Oh jesus, please tell me this fight isn’t mostly composed of this crap. Your boring, boring, boring! I don’t hate hip hop, I don’t hate nerdcore, I didn’t even hate your King me, but I do hate this. It’s boring and lazy.

Dr. Incredible- I dig the fuzzy vocals and it’s a nice touch when you take the effects off and have this very nice guy voice pop out of nowhere but your pace is plodding, your lacking a real attention getting change up, and you have some real mixing issues here I’m not certain you intended.

Gamma Man- Dr. Incredible should join forces with Gamma Man just for the sweet band name alone. You may want to have dialed back a little on the vocal effects so as not to lose all comprehension. Especially when your static drumbeat hits, all gets lost in this song. It’s a refreshing alternative to the more popular hip hop style predominating this fight, but much like the static that plagues it, this song hits a plain and stays there.

Into The Lab- I refuse to believe you have the ability to use email and render an mp3 but can’t do anything better than this. Go out, make yourself some friends.

Ken’s Super Duper Band’n Stuff- Ah, I love the fullness, the groove, the immediately happy and refreshing feel you capture here. Man, this is awesome, fantastic production! Great layered vocals, the way they interact, this song is catchy right away but those vocals really help keep one bopping along. Fun, captivating, and danceable, this is how to songfight people.

Klownhole- I’m with the guitars on this one big time, but the voice is killing it. Like nails on a chalkboard. “do not vote for klownhole” inflection is much more palatable. In fact I think you’re recovering from a bad first impression. But, now your going back to that painful interpretation. It’s alright but I’m not digging it like I usually do Klownhole and you know, the lyrical subject matter is wearing thin by the end.

Luke Henley- Man, I’m having a hard time getting into entries by some of my favorite songfighters this week. I like your lyrics a lot, you have a real, genuine storytelling talent, but this song is not grabbing me. Doesn’t get to me at first, doesn’t do much to fix that either.

MC Eric B- Fun at first but it’s going nowhere. I know you concern yourself a lot with back beat building, this one is good, but where’s the variety? Your sarcastic vocal delivery wears thin too.

MC wanna B- Well you made your point fair enough, although, can’t this debate stay on the boards or even **gulp** a private message?!! (so we don’t all have to put up with it?) Funny thing is, here is this fights most listenable nerdcore.

Geoff now takes a break to eat Taco Bell and do bonghits. This may improve his outlook for the following entries, but I doubt it.

Melvin- Your hitting notes in the first part of your chorus I don’t care for, but then the high pitch “ooweeoo”’s almost immediately makes up for it. Very catchy, nice upbeat energy and pace, that sweet guitar solo comes right in when it’s most needed, and what follows really sells it. If I’m voting for a pop song it’s still going to be Ken’s but this is great too.

Monte Carlo- Ah, I love low fi experimental stuff, Has a great live feel to it, wish I was seeing this live. Creeps in ambiguously, kinda sneaks up on you and every time there is a peak in the energy it hits this place where it almost falls apart but it maintains and remains very cool. Smokin’ guitar work, love the raunchy tone of the lead. Yes, this entry has the spirit of rock in it, it’s sweet.

Project D- Ha ha ha! This is great! I don’t actually know how to kick shit but this song makes me want to suddenly be a bonafide shitkicker. It’s just way too fun a song to be talking about lawyers and divorce and I love that bizarre contradiction. Did you really play banjo? Anyways, it’s fun, well composed, slickly produced and it makes me smile.

Rabid Garfunkel- Immediately I’m with the dark, wartime vibe and Biafra like sarcastic spoken word vocals. I love your instrumentation choices, fits the subject matter perfectly and sometimes gets really fuckin’ intense, what with the helicopters and dive bombers. Beautiful Theremin work also, sounds fantastic. Any song with anti bush sentiment is going to earn extra points with me, but this one wouldn’t of needed them, the whole thing is bad ass.

Renwick- Wow, great explosive opening. The guitars are what I love most about this song and thankfully they remain the focus, never really doing battle with the vocals, which smartly stay just below the crunch. That is, until the screaming parts, which I’m not wild about. You wanted to send it to the next level emotionally but I’m not with you, it’s more an interruption of what I was really digging about this song.

Ross Durand- It’s fun at first but then it actually starts to get grating. It’s one of those jokes that goes on a while and you start getting antsy like, come on man, get to the frickin’ punchline, and then you don’t. I like the mix of earnestness and sacrcasm but I’ve heard entries like that from you that were much more satisfying.

Sheail- Yeah, I really like this, it’s weird and as the music comes in the subject matter becomes increasingly more bizarre and indecipherable. The two unrelated lines actually complement each other very nicely and often uncannily click together, it’s a great effect. While I can’t think of any specific examples often humorous sound experiments don’t come across this listenable, my only complaint is that you lack a bigger laugh at the end, it just kinda peters out.

signboy- Nice crunch on the vocals and guitar at first. I like the theme but the flow of the song doesn’t really recover from the change ups, but then you play off of that with the end and that’s a nice payoff. The change up to reggae is pretty weak though, is that really as reggae as you can get? It’s a cool song overall, and I like the story.

Spinlock- Man, I kinda wish barbershop was as popular as nerdcore on songfight. This is another song that really makes me smile, a parody that truly embodies it’s target. The vocals really sell it, a bold and confident performance, I’m curious if you touched up the lows and highs with a shifter or something, regardless; this song has a great sound and feel.

Steve Durand- Well, I haven’t gotten tired of hearing songs about contracts or lawyers and I’m not sick of tongue in check entries either and I like this one too. Especially when the song starts up I kinda wished it was a little more swiftly paced, but that’s a minor complaint. I dig the folksy country feel to it, and like how you fit in as many syllables as possible and pull it off smiling. The lyrics are smart and cute as is their delivery.

Steve Handpuppet- I’m not really into it until you hit that disjointed change at 1:05 and cool guitar solo, that gets me interested in what’s coming next, but the overall sound doesn’t do enough to draw me in. Staggering the vocals and dissipating at the end is intriguing also, I wish you’d used more ideas like that throughout the song.

Weakest Suit- I like it at first the instrumentation is sparse and layered well, with nice, bearably audible touches here and there. As it goes on though, I’m not getting anymore invested in it, the song stifles itself too much when it dies down and I lose interest.

WreckdoM- I’m very pleased with this one, it’s loud, it’s fast, it’s furious and unpredictable. Sure it may be reminiscent of past entries, and it’s a little loose and chaotic, but I just listened to all the songs and I still feel ours is a contender. We are ready for Nur Ein, fucking bring it on.

Loved a lot of these songs, my vote will be going to Rabid Garfunkel. I have to say, objectively, there are a lot of very strong contenders here and no obvious head and shoulders victor. Even the horseshit isn’t all that horseshitty. I predict a tight race. Tight.
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Postby drincredible » Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:10 pm

Dr. Incredible- I dig the fuzzy vocals and it’s a nice touch when you take the effects off and have this very nice guy voice pop out of nowhere but your pace is plodding, your lacking a real attention getting change up, and you have some real mixing issues here I’m not certain you intended.


mixing isn't like just mixing all your sounds in a blender?
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Postby Kill Me Sarah » Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:27 pm

Hey Luke, you been listening to The Long Winters? Your vocals really remind me of them on this one.
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Postby chris » Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:40 pm

Melvin: this was sweet man. I really like this. I like your voice too. Its nice.

MC Eric B: I like the background music. But I dont like the fake country accent thing.

MC Wanna B: I am like retarted. I diddnt realize that this guy was making fun of MC Eric B, so I just thought it was a good song.

Thats all i gots.
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Postby MC WannaB » Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:02 pm

I'm sorry if anyone was upset by my tune. It was intended to be a lighthearted ribbing. I was counting on Eric B's good nature to see that, which he apparently has.
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My reviews

Postby MC Eric B » Wed Apr 25, 2007 5:57 am

Caravan Ray - The vocals fit the music well, and it was a creative song. It did not really have a hook or anything to pull me in though. It is not a song I will remember later, even though I enjoyed listening to it. Reminds me of a bar band, not that that is bad.

DJ Fizzle and MC Schweaty - I like the beat and rapping, but it did not really have hook or anything to make me remember it later, and it gets a little boring after a while. The way you worked the song title in at the end was good.

Doorite - It was hard to hear the lyrics in the first part of the song. After that I could hear it ok, but I did not get the meaning of the song (not having enough money?). I like the beat, but the song was too long. It got boring fast. Also, I listened twice but did not hear anything about Clause 5, Sub-Paragraph D.

Dr. Incredible - The vocal production sounds amateur, although maybe it was done that way on purpose since when you sing soft it sounds good. The music is good, but the lyrics seem somewhat meaningless to me. You just keep repeating the same thing over and over again.

Gamma Man - I could not understand most of the vocals, but what I did hear of the lyrics I liked. This song had potential to be catchy, but the odd music made it a little boring after a while, especially since the song was kind of long.

Into The Lab - The lyrics sounded like you made them up off the top of your head, but not too bad. If this song just had some basic music, it would not be so bad, but with no music you need to have killer lyrics, which you didn't.

Ken's Super Duper Band n' Stuff - Very professional sounding. Good production, good harmonies. Catchy tune.

Klownhole - The vocals seemed strained. The music was good, and your vocals on the "Do Not Vote For Klownhole" part were good. The song got boring after a while though because it was long.

Luke Henley - The lyrics are very poetic, although I don't understand what the meaning of the song is. And, nowhere in the song do you mention "Clause 5, sub-paragraph d) "

MC Wanna B - I like the sarcastic lyrics/rhymes. The song does not offend me, since it is just repeating stuff that was said already in the forums. The song needs a chorus to be catchy though.

Melvin - It was good. Nothing I will remember later, but pleasant to listen to.

Monte Carlo - I could not understand any of the vocals, but the music part was good and the song overall was not bad.

Project-D - I like this a lot. Catchy and good production. Good chorus and good banjo playing.

Rabid Garfunkel - I liked it a lot. Very atmospheric music. Reminds me of a cross between Flash Gordon by Queen and a Broadway musical.

Renwick - The music is great. I liked the vocals in the verses, but not on the chorus. This could have been a really awesome song if it just had a good chorus.

Ross Durand - I like the concept and the singing is great. It is a good story type song, like Arlo Guthrie and Bob Dylan used to do.

Sheail - I like the vocals. It sounds very real, like from a movie. The music goes well with the flow and tone of the vocals. I would think that a song with all talking would get boring, but it kept my attention.

Signboy - The guitar is great. The chorus could have been better though. Overall it was very good.

Spinlock - Wow. This is a very professional sounding performance. Lyrics are funny and the song is catchy.

Steve Durand - Reminds me a little of Jimmy Buffet. The music is catchy, lyrics well written, and the vocals are good.

Steve Handpuppet - This song did not draw me in, even though the music and vocals are fine. The whole song seemed kid of faint so I did not really follow everything that was said.

Weakest Suit - I like the guitar playing, but sometimes it was too hard to hear the vocals. I did not really follow what the song was saying. It was better near the end when you got louder.

WreckdoM - I like how a lot happens in the song, to keep my attention. The vocals are done very creatively. The music is great also.
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Postby spinlock » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:03 am

MC Wanna B

Oooh Oooh. Do me next! I'm sure I have some obvious weaknesses that I haven't yet mastered! And when we send in our Nur Ein II photo you can poke fun at how I look too!

Seriously, that was Low. I hope you are genuinely a new player. I hope this is a beginner's mis-step and not some songfighter that I've grown to respect, because if you are, that respect just disappeared. If y'are new, well, I hope you can turn it round and do something actually good.

MC Eric B

You keep trying, and I respect you for that. In my opinion, which you may or may not care about, this structure sounds contrived and lame, and instantly distances me from the song, when listening:
- - my financial health, it would be just fine
- - my soul to you I'll be bearing.
- - to you I wanna stay married.

I've done some research into nerdcore as a result of you being around, and so far Monzy is my favourite. He's not a great rapper, but you gotta love lines like "You're the tertiary storage, and I'm the level one cache". Your singing style suits this song a lot better, but in no way is this nerdcore.
As a result I get to review this as a normal song.
And it's not very good. It's very bland. I just don't get the sense that you're actually affected that much by the threat of divorce. Where's your motivation. If you're writing songs about personal problems, what's going to make me care, here? What am I to relate to?
My advice, get passionate, get re-writing your songs over and over till they shine, and maybe ask Wages to sing them for you, cos that guy can really do emotion. Get people who will tell you what they think honestly to critique your songs before you record them, so you can improve the weaker parts.
I want to see you develop, and I think you could do much better. Fight shit like MC Wanna B by becoming awesome.
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Postby Kill Me Sarah » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:15 am

I thought Wanna B was pretty hillarious. I wish someone felt strongly enough about my music to make a parody. I would find it quite flattering.
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Postby MC Eric B » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:31 am

spinlock - My non-nerdcore songs are all pretty much made up. I am happily married. Yes, I agree, my style is much much better suited to nerdcore type songs like about computers. The problem is that I already wrote around 25 of those (see my site at http://www.nerdcoresongs.com ) before I found Songfight, and after a while that kind of stuff gets repetitive. Also, many of the people at Songfight would not understand a lot of the geeky references like Monzy uses.
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Postby MC Eric B » Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:58 am

kill_me_sarah - Yes, I was happy somebody would take the effort to write a song about me.
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Postby MC Eric B » Wed Apr 25, 2007 8:00 am

I was going for a bluegrass feel to the song. Bluegrass singing is very distinctive. The problem is I have never tried it before, and don't listen to much bluegrass.

===============
chris wrote:
MC Eric B: I like the background music. But I dont like the fake country accent thing.
===============
Last edited by MC Eric B on Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby bz£ » Wed Apr 25, 2007 8:04 am

MC Eric B wrote:spinlock - My non-nerdcore songs are all pretty much made up. I am happily married.

Maybe that's part of the problem! If you don't have any reason to be concerned about marital issues then 1) you are a lucky man and 2) you may have trouble conveying those emotions in song. Not suggesting you should go start some trouble with the wife!

Yes, I agree, my style is much much better suited to nerdcore type songs like about computers. The problem is that I already wrote around 25 of those (see my site at http://www.nerdcoresongs.com ) before I found Songfight, and after a while that kind of stuff gets repetitive. Also, many of the people at Songfight would not understand a lot of the geeky references like Monzy uses.

Sing about whatever you want. We might surprise you with how much we'll understand, and, anyway, you shouldn't let yourself be stopped by the fear that we won't get it. Your "style" is whatever you make it, not just some catchword that ends in -core. Don't let yourself be handicapped by an idea of what your style is, or is supposed to be.


Here's the thing, and this is very important advice, even though it is not at all easy to follow. Spinlock cites lines like "my soul to you I'll be bearing" as problem points, and it is because your phrasing is so bad that it could kill a moose at fifty paces. It is the exact opposite of "flow." Good flow is important in many musical styles but especially if you're going to do any sort of hip-hop-type stuff. When compose sentences you do like Yoda, nobody will be seriously taking your work.

I guess you're just trying to swing things around to make rhyme schemes work. That's a reasonable goal and something you can do in small doses. But when you find yourself using phrases like the ones quoted above, you need to re-write. Pick different words, don't just re-arrange the ones you've already written down. That's the hard part, but it's a necessary part of good songwriting.

Anyone can say "Oh, gosh, I sure hope my wife won't ditch me for that hunky cabana boy who's been giving her massage lessons." The trick is to say it in a way that makes people feel what you're feeling, in a way that works in its musical context. If you figure it out, lemme know so I can steal your ideas.
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Postby Spud » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:14 am

There were several parodies of us made when we first came on board. It made us realize that at least some people were paying attention. It was a form of dialog, and that's cool. I wish I could dig them up now. Man, that would be so fun.

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Postby NatchDan » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:36 am

In the order that they turned up on the front page for me:

Sheail: Excellent and hilarious. Nice use of the Hutton report. xD Venn diagrams! Beauracracy! I love it. It's so very English, too, which makes it even better to me.

Rabid Garfunkel: Epic, and good at conveying the mood. Nice satirical lyrics.

Caravan Ray: Balls-out. I like it. As yours is the first I've heard with the title actually sung, nice work on fitting it in. A little Beach Boys-esque. The "AAARGH"s weren't as amusing as I was expecting. ;)

Klownhole: Nice lyrics. I feel a subliminal urge to move to the next song!

Project D: As I said last week, bluegrassy stuff isn't much my thing, but nice inclusion of "The devil's in the details".

WreckdoM: I love the lyrics and vocal delivery, reminds me of Electric Six or The Eagles Of Death Metal. Very catchy and funny. Aw! Yeah!

Gamma Man: Kraftwerk? Is it really you? Not bad, but some of the vocoding wipes out the vocals.

MC Eric B: Your songs are hell of dividing on the boards, and I can tell that you've tried hard with this one. It'd benefit from you dropping the accent on the sung bits.

Monte Carlo: Improved recording, which is excellent. I'm still getting the early ATD-I feel from you, which means it's rough, but catchy. Your vocals still get kind of lost in the chorus.

Dr. Incredible: 80s sleaze grooves for the win. The vocal's sometimes distorted, was that intentional? If it was, drop it, because it obscures everything else. Not bad.

Into The Lab: Half-finished. Do a kickass Evil April.

Steve Durand: Nice lyrics. Very clever. Don't really have much else to say about it.

Ken's Super Duper Band 'n' Stuff: Reminds me of TMBG, except I'd listen to this again. Catchy, radio-friendly rock.

Ross Durand: I like your spokenish bit near the end.

Melvin: Catchy, especially the choruses, but it doesn't quite live up to your past two for me. Still very good, but whereas the other two were singles, this is an album track. Track 7. I cannot overstate how much I like the "oo-oo-ooh"s, though.

DJ Fizzle & MC Schweaty: The most professional nerd rap track I've heard since I got Hotel Coral Essex by the Futuristic Sex Robotz. Very well constructed backing, the flow is pretty good, your voice isn't annoying like MC Chris - Not bad at all.

Renwick: Somebody bought The Smiths a distortion pedal. Not bad.

Signboy: Timing could be a little tighter, otherwise decent.

Weakest Suit: Pretty good. I like the "I'll make them..." part. I was hoping for the drums to kick in bigtime at some point, but such is.

MC Wanna B: This is pretty funny, and fairly cleverly so. I like the line with too many syllables.

Doorite: To be honest, I can't tell if this is hip-hop or industrial. I'm leaning more to hip-hop, but whichever one, it's plenty listenable. Oh, wait, you just said hos. That cements that. xD

Luke Henley: Good lyrics, nice tune, too, but I think I see where people were coming from on my Ten Lies track now. It could use a full band, but as a rough sketch it's very good. With proper production I think I'd love this. Your vocal delivery is great.

Spinlock: Really, really nice gospel tune you've crafted for yourself here. I'm genuinely impressed.

Steve Handpuppet: The mix is a bit muddy, but I can hear a kind of early New Order buried in here.

All in all, I'm not sure who my vote goes to yet. There's three or four tied in my mind.
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hip-hop

Postby MC Eric B » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:03 am

I listen to a lot of hip-hop, and many modern hip-hop songs play around with wording/phrases, like I did with "my soul to you I'll be bearing". Yes, that would not fit well in a traditional song, but for hip-hop it seems perfectly normal to me.

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